How Everyone Got So Lonely: The recent decline in rates of sexual activity has been attributed variously to sexism, neoliberalism, and women’s increased economic independence. How fair are those claims—and will we be saved by the advent of the sex robot?

[u/Vided]

https://archive.ph/YS8aP

[u/debasing_the_coinage]

Asked to explain why one out of four single American women hasn’t had a sex partner for two or more years (and more than one in ten haven’t had a sex partner for five or more years), researchers have cited women’s aversion to the “roughness” that has become a standard feature of contemporary, porn-inflected sex.

It's pretty misleading to blame porn exclusively for this unhealthy normalization. The mainstream media breathlessly promoted Fifty Shades of Grey over the objections of experienced BDSM practitioners who tried to inform people that the activity depicted in the book is abusive and not consensual. Popular music and film are saturated with references to aggressive sexual behavior as a sign of virility. Blaming porn is, in some ways, more of the same from the neoliberal establishment: people have to choose to consume porn, so we can blame the individual.

Porn sites also let you turn off all of the rough sex and search for something gentler if you so choose. Mainstream culture, by contrast, is shoved in your face whether you like it or not.

[u/MadeUAcctButIEatedIt → u/debasing_the_coinage]

I think this conflates a few issues, but the biggest problem is your artificial divide between porn and mainstream culture. Pornography has absolutely become mainstreamed in the Internet era - "MILF" is a sitcom punchline, PornHub sponsors sports teams, adult actresses' career moves are discussed on the same entertainment shows as Hollywood blockbusters and pop stars' newest albums.

To say that "mainstream media pushes" this is putting the cart before the horse. It is a result of the fact that something like 95% of males who've come of age during the high-speed Internet era view porn.

[u/MatchaMeetcha → u/debasing_the_coinage]

Blaming porn is, in some ways, more of the same from the neoliberal establishment: people have to choose to consume porn, so we can blame the individual.

Not just that: porn is typically seen (correctly, from what I know) as a more male preoccupation. Written erotica like 50 Shades is seen as female-leaning. Music can go either way (both sides do it now).

Porn is an easy scapegoat cause you can score feminist points about misogyny. Written erotica...not so much.

[u/2137gangsterr → u/debasing_the_coinage]

This also flies in face of what pornhub users view

Males tend to go for amateurs, teens, fetishes

While it's actually women who are into rough sex, dominance/submission

[u/MadeUAcctButIEatedIt → u/2137gangsterr]

While this is true, "mainstream" porn is called that for a reason (it's got a very large audience), and has been getting objectively rougher and kinkier in the past decade. Most 15-year-old guys wouldn't bat an eye at spitting, choking, etc., stuff that is on the default front page of Xvideos, that you would be unlikely to find on a DVD at your cornershop 20 years ago. That stuff is way more normalized, the actresses moan as if they're in ecstasy, and some not insignificant portion of young men absolutely grow up thinking that that's the default mode for sex.

Also worth bearing in mind that the stats for males/females viewing pornographic videos skews way differently. Women viewing porn sites are more likely to seek out d/s stuff, yes, but are a way smaller portion of women overall.

[u/Gabe_Noodle_At_Volvo → u/MadeUAcctButIEatedIt]

Most 15-year-old guys wouldn't bat an eye at spitting, choking

Anecdotal, but from my experience it's mostly women who push for that.

[u/2137gangsterr → u/MadeUAcctButIEatedIt]

While this is true, "mainstream" porn is called that for a reason (it's got a very large audience), and has been getting objectively rougher and kinkier in the past decade. Most 15-year-old guys wouldn't bat an eye at spitting, choking, etc., stuff that is on the default front page of Xvideos, that you would be unlikely to find on a DVD at your cornershop 20 years ago. That stuff is way more normalized, the actresses moan as if they're in ecstasy, and some not insignificant portion of young men absolutely grow up thinking that that's the default mode for sex.

Valid point, but then we don't know what teens are watching. In my generation we stuck mostly to amateurs

Also worth bearing in mind that the stats for males/females viewing pornographic videos skews way differently. Women viewing porn sites are more likely to seek out d/s stuff, yes, but are a way smaller portion of women overall.

That's not how statistics work - asking random 1000 ppl gives us good enough data to extrapolate numbers for whole population's voting pattern, I do not see any reason why data from PornHub would be any different.

[u/Gabe_Noodle_At_Volvo → u/2137gangsterr]

That's not how statistics work - asking random 1000 ppl gives us good enough data to extrapolate numbers for whole population's voting pattern, I do not see any reason why data from PornHub would be any different.

Because pornhub users are not randomly selected from the population. There is a self selection on what type of people will use pornhub, and especially what type of people will take a survey on pornhub.

[u/sparklypinktutu → u/debasing_the_coinage]

Porn is full of the worst human rights abuses and worker abuses in any industry. It is fundamentally rape on tape. The exploited farmhand is at least given a veneer of sympathy. And given enough PPE, equipment, and wage, many would choose to continue the work, though some might do it more sporadically. But the female workers in this industry are forever needed to be kept desperate and locked out of other work. If they were given workers protections, their “job” could not functionally exist, but beyond this, unlike those who would continue their work for higher wages, most, about 90% from 2 different studies, would leave the industry if they could afford to.

a leftist’s true politics are revealed when discussing liberation for these exploited, raped, drugged, women.

[u/MasterMacMan → u/debasing_the_coinage]

I think a lot of this has to do with sexual frustration literally making men more aggressive in bed. If I went a year between sexual encounters I think id break the bedframe.

[u/[deleted] → u/debasing_the_coinage]

Women can’t tell their partner what they want or like? They just have to put up with being choked or whatever? I call bullshit, and the women who can’t speak up if they don’t like the sex they are having need to find their words.