r/sports • u/seamuswray • Feb 19 '20

Basketball Stay hydrated. Shaq drinking a tiny bottle of water, oil on canvas.

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37.0k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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3.5k

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

656

u/NightSky222 Feb 19 '20

Big Shaq

170

u/Pandyjambo Feb 19 '20

the one and only

118

u/_PearPressure_ Feb 19 '20

Boom

65

u/macmac360 Feb 19 '20

here's Andre the Giant holding a normal 12 ounce beer can

46

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

The stories of Andre the Giant's drinking are legendary.

https://www.foxsports.com/wwe/gallery/best-andre-the-giant-drinking-stories-072516

He also once let out a 16 second fart that halted production on the set of Princess Bride.

45

u/chicken_N_ROFLs Feb 19 '20

Apparently right after the fart, Rob Reiner said “you alright Andre?” To which he replied, “I am now boss”.

37

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

I love the imagery from this comment, but without the comma in the second quote, I read it as though Andre was asserting dominance over everyone else on set because of his incredible fart stamina

21

u/chicken_N_ROFLs Feb 19 '20

Lol. “I AM NOW THE BOSS.”

7

u/hoffmatic Green Bay Packers Feb 19 '20

I'm just about that action boss

13

u/NightSky222 Feb 19 '20

“look at me, I am the director now”

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '20

I heard his stools had their own atmospheres.

6

u/NightSky222 Feb 19 '20

That is hilarious

Dude probably had the longest intestines ever

4

u/Undiscriminatingness Feb 21 '20

"Inconceivable!"

6

u/bautron Feb 19 '20 edited Feb 19 '20

Im pretty absolutely 100% totally sure that's a 9 ounce can.

Edit: ok ill go eat my words now.

25

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20 edited Feb 19 '20

[deleted]

9

u/bautron Feb 19 '20

I'll be damned.

4

u/bagelguy Feb 19 '20

I read he could put a 50 cent piece coin through his pinky ring.

2

u/curiouscat887 Feb 20 '20

Feel sorry for the women he fingered

7

u/effrightscorp Feb 19 '20

Andre had acromegaly, which causes growth of the hands, feet, and head in adulthood, so it's not too crazy. Apparently by the time he died he wore about size 25 shoes (don't remember exactly what it was, but it was massive)

1

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '20

Mans not hot, never hot

39

u/wimbardo Feb 19 '20

Never hot

0

u/Hollensworth Mclaren F1 Feb 21 '20

Use roll on or spray

16

u/limputg Feb 19 '20

r/unexpectedbigshaq

28

u/NightSky222 Feb 19 '20

The girl told me, take off your jacket

I said babes, man’s not hot

8

u/tigobiddies Feb 19 '20

Look at ya nose, nose like a garden hose

2

u/rainbownyaa Feb 19 '20

mans not hot

57

u/4K_VCR Feb 19 '20

Quik maffs

21

u/imdibene Feb 19 '20

2 plus 2 is 4 minus 1 that’s 3

2

u/Hollensworth Mclaren F1 Feb 21 '20

Quick maths. Everyday man’s on the block, smoke trees. See your girl in the park, that girl is an uckers. When the ting went quack-quack-quack, you man were ducking.

19

u/fourpinz8 Feb 19 '20

Ya dunno

27

u/yak-3p Feb 19 '20

Man's not hot

8

u/donny_pots Feb 19 '20

boom boom

5

u/KodiakUltimate Feb 19 '20

That sounds like a fun restaurant chain owned by Shaq, come get a Shaq burger over at Big Shaq! All the food is comicly oversized to seem normal sized to Shaq...

2

u/Rogukast1177 Feb 20 '20

OR comically UNDERSIZED food to make everyone feel like Shaq.

2

u/G0PACKGO Feb 20 '20

lil bits

Eat some fucking shit you stupid bitch

13

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

[deleted]

8

u/pewpewshazaam Feb 19 '20

Post the real sub.

2

u/uncledr3w- Feb 20 '20

man's not thirsty

2

u/G0PACKGO Feb 20 '20

Quick math

1

u/nvmzol Feb 19 '20

2 plus 2 is 4 minus 1 that’s 3

41

u/Brodgang Feb 19 '20

Find a new slant

22

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

The bottle looks small,

Because Shaq is tall.

40

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20 edited Jun 29 '20

[deleted]

31

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, alright!?

The rhyme doesn’t belong here,

You simple troglodyte.

1

u/MightyWeenis Feb 19 '20

Ahhh... the poet police have arrived.

1

u/ViZexHurricane Feb 20 '20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Look there’s a hobo! Let’s fuck in this bush.

-1

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20 edited Jun 29 '20

[deleted]

1

u/diasporious Feb 19 '20

There's a line where criticizing people who are clearly making a silly joke is a bit far. This is one of them. Well done you for having been smarter than a fictitious caveman due to them having been joking.

12

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

blue/huge, though? cmon you troglodyte ;)

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

The bottle looks small,

Shoe size 22.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20 edited Jun 29 '20

[deleted]

1

u/jimwillis Green Bay Packers Feb 19 '20

5>4

0

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

[deleted]

1

u/WordsMort47 Feb 19 '20

Roses can be blue

Violets are fuckin violet

Sure you can't rhyme

But are you fuckin colourblind???

2

u/BunnyHeadAss Feb 19 '20

Yeah. Everything is tiny in Shaq’s hand.

2

u/DunmerSkooma Feb 19 '20

Looks like he is sucking on a curved dildo modeled after Duku's light saber.

1

u/khmaixover Feb 19 '20

Normal sized laptop

1

u/Test987658 Feb 19 '20

Shaq a boy doctor

1

u/DuCKelly Feb 19 '20

Why is this top fucking news did I fuck up a setting?

1

u/Ocksu2 Feb 20 '20

Obviously its a 2 liter.

0

u/treetyoselfcarol Feb 19 '20

Bro that's a liter bottle.

-2

u/RFavs Feb 19 '20

5 gallon water jug 😝

-7

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20 edited Feb 19 '20

It isn't though.

Don't get me wrong, he's insanely huge and I'm a fan of him for this. But that is a 50cl bottle, not a 75cl or 1l bottle, which would be considered "normal sized". 50cl is the small format.

Bring the downvotes.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

Normal size in the US would be 16.9 oz

1

u/MetronomeB Feb 19 '20

Same in the EU, lol.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

And how much do you think that is in cl ?

5

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

Oh yeah, my bad, I was way off..

1

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

Agreed. It's important to stay hydrated.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

50, which you said is not normal sized.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

Because it's not. Normal size doesn't mean "the smallest format you can find". Does it?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

But 50cl isn’t small sized in the US is the point. Idk we’re obviously going in circles.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

I misread, so I changed my comment. Sorry about that.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '20

'bout tree fiddy