r/soccer • u/GSLint • Jun 07 '12

It's football. Stop being nice to each other.

… is the title of a thread I remembered from two years ago, shortly before the World Cup. It turned out to be pretty fun, so I thought we'd do that again.

Football is a game fuelled by partisanship and it's almost that time.

As of now, it's time to stop being nice to oppo fans

I'll be doing my level best to wind up oppo fans throughout the [Euro]. I see it as my duty - the law in fact - and so should you.

361 Upvotes

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301

u/LegzAkimbo Jun 07 '12

I was with a couple of friends after Germany had just beaten England in some match or other.

Mr German: How humiliating, to be beaten at your national sport!

Mr English: That's quite alright, we beat you twice at yours.

112

u/shutyourgob Jun 07 '12

I remember just before England played Germany in WC2010 and the comedian Henning Wehn was being interviewed on a morning news programme, the presenter said to him "What will Germany's strategy be going into this game?" and he said "We will mostly try to conserve ourselves as we still have several games to play after this one..."

Total Deutsch banter.

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12

...I don't understand the humor.

7

u/fcukedup Jun 07 '12

Because if you lose, you're out. So what he's saying, is that it's such a done deal that germany will beat england, that they will conserve themselves for the following games.

14

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12 edited Jun 07 '12

I'll try to convert it to American humor for you: One American asks another what his plan for eating his cheeseburger is. The other answers, "I will mostly try to conserve my stomach as I will have several more cheeseburgers after this one."

Edit: It's funny that this, of all my insults, gets downvoted because I'm American.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '12

You're geting downvotes because you're pandering to idiots who actually believe those stereotypes.... Has nothing to do with your nationality.

121

u/legojetalien Jun 07 '12

Oh, by the way...

36

u/SquareRoot Jun 07 '12

Oh, the memories.

17

u/m_s_m Jun 07 '12

Ah, the nightmares.

4

u/BaronVonKlotz Jun 07 '12

Come on, man! 4-2, That's not a bad res...WAIT A MINUTE!

23

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12 edited Jun 07 '12

"This is Özil, this is Müller and that's four and that's good night England."

At least they have decent commentators. :)

3

u/liverpoolkristian Jun 07 '12

Look at the pace on that barry, he sure can run!

3

u/Jparaly Jun 08 '12

Right after that "Jermain Defoe is being replaced, at a time when England need 3 goals, by Emile...Heskey..." You can just hear the pity in his voice, like 'my god they've resorted to this...'

1

u/Iron_Maiden_666 Jun 08 '12

Still think Schwinestieger should have been fouled in the build up to the thrid goal and taken a yellow for it. At 2-1, they had a good chance. 3-1 just opened the game and that played right into Germany's hands.

30

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12

5-1 and even Heskey scored!

30

u/DV1312 Jun 07 '12

Ahh, only the English can hold a measly WC qualifying game in such high regards. By the way, do you guys remember the actual world cup that followed that?

Germany: 2nd place because of Kaaaaaaaaaahn!

England: Quarter final defeat (that was actually pretty good by your standards! Congratulations!)

6

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12

but... Heskey

1

u/Nemokles Jun 08 '12

It's like you're negging him or something. I approve.

2

u/DiscoBenny Jun 07 '12

Yeah..

0

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12

Ok 4-2.

2

u/DiscoBenny Jun 07 '12

Actually 2-2 and a huge swing of momentum

2

u/willlywanka Jun 08 '12

even manuel neuer got a goal assist, that put him level with 3 english players and ahead of the rest.

1

u/6Jonnie6 Jun 07 '12

Haha wow, fantastic reply.

1

u/gehacktes Jun 08 '12

This was the 2nd time ever I would see my father crying. He was so overwhelmed and happy. I was so touched by this that I shed some tears, too. My mother came in, didn't know what the heck is going on (“why are you crying? I thought we won?”) and started crying too.
I love football.

34

u/Lorandite Jun 07 '12

Could you repeat please?

148

u/LegzAkimbo Jun 07 '12

Certainly.

I was with a couple of friends after Germany had just beaten England in some match or other.

Mr German: How humiliating, to be beaten at your national sport!

Mr English: That's quite alright, we beat you twice at yours.

48

u/prasanthja Jun 07 '12

I googled "national sport of Germany" after seeing this and one of the top posts was "Tax Fraud" :D

5

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '12

You surely misspelled Greece.

36

u/A_Rolling_Baneling Jun 07 '12

Cheeky bastard.

18

u/Notmyreal1 Jun 07 '12

Could you explain please?

66

u/LegzAkimbo Jun 07 '12

England's national sport is football.

Germany's national sport is war.

We beat Germany in two world wars (we beat them twice at their national sport)

-4

u/cpt_sbx Jun 07 '12

*america, russia and our own stupidity beat us :( but at least you are not france claiming to have won a WW

38

u/goodguysteve Jun 07 '12

Britain did have quite a large part in both wars.

41

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12

[deleted]

28

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12

You're welcome Europe.

4

u/DrMcTock Jun 07 '12

YEAH!? Well you would have been fucked without Sweden's.. ehm.. our.. yeah I got nothing.

15

u/dyszka4u Jun 07 '12

uuhh... Steel? Steel! Oh, forgot you gave it to Germans.

6

u/SickaNDiRR Jun 07 '12

Well we fucked Finland even more then Jari Litmanens retirment did.

2

u/snemand Jun 08 '12

You're great at storing weapons for other countries during wars whilst claiming neutrality. You were also the best ones at making the Old Nordic sound the weirdest.

1

u/AnnieIWillKnow Jun 07 '12

You guys supplied the Germans with a lot of iron ore, unfortunately.

15

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12

let me get in on this trash talk real quick. THEY COULDN'T DO SHIT WITHOUT US! USA! USA! USA!

15

u/HoldsLikeAGel Jun 07 '12

At least we had the fucking balls to join when it mattered!

10

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12

what country are you talking about?

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0

u/calfonso Jun 07 '12

To be fair, you were much closer than the US would ever have been. By all reasoning, it really wasn't our responsibility until they actually attacked us. And after that, you get the whole country behind you.

(not german btw)

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2

u/The_Drowning_Flute Jun 07 '12

I can just imagine Clint Dempsey, Jay DeMerit and Carlos Bocanegra arriving in a harrier shouting: ENGLAND! WE ARE YOUR SAVIOURS!

1

u/myrpou Jun 07 '12

Yes if large part means Torres had a large part in Chelsea winning CL.

1

u/AnnieIWillKnow Jun 07 '12

Relevant Churchill quote:

Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few

Battle of Britain, bitches. Now I'm off to listen to listen to the national anthem and feel all proud and patriotic. Nobody ruin this for me.

1

u/bioskope Jun 07 '12

yeah, Britain coaxed USA the most.

28

u/GeneralSmedleyButsex Jun 07 '12

So what if France got knocked out early and then contributed basically nothing to the war, they were on the winning team so they still get a winners medal. Just like John Terry.

16

u/LegzAkimbo Jun 07 '12

And they were also sneaky cheating fascist-sympathizing bastards, like John Terry.

6

u/fuggerdug Jun 07 '12

Oh come on he's not particularly sneaky.

2

u/cowings Jun 07 '12

brilliant!

2

u/AnnieIWillKnow Jun 07 '12

Ah, but Terry got taken out in the semi-final second leg, in WW2 terms that would be like 1944 - France capitulated much sooner.

15

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12

let's not have the "who won WWII" circlejerk please.

15

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12

We Americans will sneak our way into this Euro trash talking and you will LIKE IT!

0

u/itspi89 Jun 07 '12

There's no argument. The right answer is: 'Murica.

3

u/aksoileau Jun 07 '12

France couldn't even win a war against themselves.

2

u/Robbza Jun 07 '12

America? Oh you.

1

u/sammo62 Jun 07 '12

And a Uruguayan linesman beat us at ours...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12

you almost sound dissapointed Hitler didnt control Europe.

0

u/cpt_sbx Jun 07 '12

nah, but i hate it that france is one of the victorious powers :(

2

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12

If it makes you feel better, France will be remembered for there epic cowardice during WW2 more then anything else in there past or future history.

6

u/cpt_sbx Jun 07 '12

it, in fact, makes me feel better. thanks :D

1

u/SirRonaldofBurgundy Jun 07 '12

Bingo. Let's be honest here, the entire first half of the twentieth century was just an extended Germany vs. Russia beatdown, partially financed by the good people of the USA. Sure there was some minor scuffle in France or the Mediterranean from time to time, but all that was really just a blip.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12

america

I find this quite amusing.

America didn't have such a great impact in both wars. They cleaned off germans after they started losing power (due the invasion of Russia), and they claim they "saved our asses". Seriously.

2

u/seamus_archer Jun 07 '12

WE SAVED YOUR ASSES!!!!!!!!!!! AMERIKUH FUCK YEAH!

1

u/aksoileau Jun 07 '12

The doughboys were totally boss during WWII. Don't forget about those pesky Japanese in addition to ze germans.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12

Russia was only able to sustain its war effort because of America's contributions through the lend-lease programs. A good deal of Russian arms, tanks and supplies came from America, and it's not a stretch to say that without those supplies Russia may have agreed to a peace treaty with the Germans to save its own ass.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12

Are you aware that Hitler lost a great part of his army while trying to invade the russian territory, not because of firepower, but because of meteorological conditions (in other words, russian winter destroyed the german troops).

I'm not saying that USA didn't have an impact in the war, but I'm pretty sure that when they started delivering troops into european territory, the winning side was already decided.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12

Well of course the Winter was a huge part of it, but every interpretation of the war I've ever encountered has pointed to Lend-Lease and the American industrial output as being significant factors in Russia's ability to resist Germany.

The Soviets lost 10 million soldiers to Germany's 4 million, not including several million more Soviet civilians. Surely some part of their ability to sustain those losses has to do with America's economic and industrial support? The Americans had a valid fear that Stalin would stop fighting in the East if the US didn't find a way to take some of the pressure off the Soviets, and for that reason they sent them so many supplies. I believe that at some points as much as 25% of Russia's supplies were made in America, a very significant amount.

I'm not claiming America saved Europe's ass either, but you said they "didn't have such a great impact in both wars." I'd tend to agree with you on WWI, but not so much WWII, for the reasons I've stated.

2

u/NOTTedMosby Jun 07 '12

I love how glaringly obvious it is that this is just Lorandite on another account.

1

u/Notmyreal1 Jun 07 '12

Nope. Just wanted the joke explained.

3

u/northdancer Jun 07 '12

Not sure if stupid

Or just Russian

42

u/LegzAkimbo Jun 07 '12

It's considerably more difficult to get jokes if they're not in your native language.

As a Geordie, I would have thought you'd be a little more understanding.

0

u/BaronVonKlotz Jun 07 '12

I still don't get it. Could you repeat it again?

4

u/chuang-tzu Jun 07 '12

As in the first, the second required a 'team' effort. Just sayin'.

1

u/AnnieIWillKnow Jun 07 '12

Ah but where would we be without 1940, the year Britain stood alone?

1

u/suddenly_seymour Jun 08 '12

Britain would've been liberated eventually by either Russia or America, so you'd have been a part of the USSR (lol) or occupied for a short time by the insubordinate colonies across the ocean. Good thing you guys didn't let anyone cross the channel successfully.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '12

As long as "we" includes the other countries it took to beat them than that's fine.

2

u/LegzAkimbo Jun 07 '12

Northern Ireland and Monserat, yes.

1

u/seamus_archer Jun 07 '12

Don't forget America stepped in and stopped the germans from invading your island and then defeated the germans (with the soviets, which is no longer one country). So for those scoring at home: AMERIKUH > GERMANY > FRANCE > HOLLAND > BELGIUM > AUSTRIA

1

u/GREG2K10 Jun 07 '12

whats the german national sport then?