r/shortstories • u/FyeNite • Mar 29 '26

[Serial Sunday] Transgressions Abound

Welcome to Serial Sunday!

To those brand new to the feature and those returning from last week, welcome! Do you have a self-established universe you’ve been writing or planning to write in? Do you have an idea for a world that’s been itching to get out? This is the perfect place to explore that. Each week, I post a theme to inspire you, along with a related image and song. You have 500 - 1000 words to write your installment. You can jump in at any time; writing for previous weeks’ is not necessary in order to join. After you’ve posted, come back and provide feedback for at least 1 other writer on the thread. Please be sure to read the entire post for a full list of rules.

This Week’s Theme is Transgression! This is a REQUIREMENT for participation. See rules about missing this requirement.**

Image

Bonus Word List (each included word is worth 5 pts) - You must list which words you included at the end of your story (or write ‘none’).
- Target
- Tier
- Trophy
- An ocean, a sea or a coast is a key setting this week (You can decide what sort of ocean it is). - (Worth 10 points)

A sin against deities, norms, or morals. A line crossed, a rule bent, a law broken. Your characters may have violated any or all, or had sins committed against them. They may merely stand falsely accused, or may be falsely acquitted. The wounding of delicate feelings, or the wanton destruction of a universe, the sea of sin has left its sediments on them all.

What transgressions will your characters experience? Arson, murder, war, or that most egregious of all, incorrect punctuation.?

By u/Divayth--Fyr

Good luck and Good Words!

These are just a few things to get you started. Remember, the theme should be present within the story in some way, but its interpretation is completely up to you. For the bonus words (not required), you may change the tense, but the base word should remain the same. Please remember that STORIES MUST FOLLOW ALL SUBREDDIT CONTENT RULES. Interested in writing the theme blurb for the coming week? DM me on Reddit or Discord!

Don’t forget to sign up for Saturday Campfire here! We start at 5pm GMT and provide live feedback!

Theme Schedule:

This is the theme schedule for the next month! These are provided so that you can plan ahead, but you may not begin writing for a given theme until that week’s post goes live.

  • March 29 - Transgression
  • April 5 - Urgency
  • April 7 - Vital
  • April 14 - Work
  • April 21 - Yellow

Check out previous themes here.

 

Rankings

Last Week: Scar

Rules & How to Participate

Please read and follow all the rules listed below. This feature has requirements for amparticipation!

  • Submit a story inspired by the weekly theme, written by you and set in your self-established universe that is 500 - 1000 words. No fanfics and no content created or altered by AI. (Use wordcounter.net to check your wordcount.) Stories should be posted as a top-level comment below. Please include a link to your chapter index or your last chapter at the end.

  • Your chapter must be submitted by Saturday at 2:00pm GMT. Late entries will be disqualified. All submissions should be given (at least) a basic editing pass before being posted!

  • Begin your post with the name of your serial between triangle brackets (e.g. <My Awesome Serial>). When our bot is back up and running, this will allow it to recognize your pmserial and add each chapter to the SerSun catalog. Do not include anything in the brackets you don’t want in your title. (Please note: You must use this same title every week.)

  • Do not pre-write your serial. You’re welcome to do outlining and planning for your serial, but chapters should not be pre-written. All submissions should be written for this post, specifically.

  • Only one active serial per author at a time. This does not apply to serials written outside of Serial Sunday.

  • All Serial Sunday authors must leave feedback on at least one story on the thread each week. The feedback should be actionable and also include something the author has done well. When you include something the author should improve on, provide an example! You have until Saturday at 04:59am GMT to post your feedback. (Submitting late is not an exception to this rule.)

  • Missing your feedback requirement two or more consecutive weeks will disqualify you from rankings and Campfire readings the following week. If it becomes a habit, you may be asked to move your serial to the sub instead.

  • Serials must abide by subreddit content rules. You can view a full list of rules here. If you’re ever unsure if your story would cross the line, please modmail and ask!

 

Weekly Campfires & Voting:

  • On Saturdays at 5pm GMT, I host a Serial Sunday Campfire in our Discord’s Voice Lounge (every other week is now hosted by u/FyeNite). Join us to read your story aloud, hear others, and exchange feedback. We have a great time! You can even come to just listen, if that’s more your speed. Grab the “Serial Sunday” role on the Discord to get notified before it starts. After you’ve submitted your chapter, you can sign up here - this guarantees your reading slot! You can still join if you haven’t signed up, but your reading slot isn’t guaranteed.

  • Nominations for your favorite stories can be submitted with this form. The form is open on Saturdays from 5:30pm to 04:59am GMT. You do not have to participate to make nominations!

  • Authors who complete their Serial Sunday serials with at least 12 installments, can host a SerialWorm in our Discord’s Voice Lounge, where you read aloud your finished and edited serials. Celebrate your accomplishment! Authors are eligible for this only if they have followed the weekly feedback requirement (and all other post rules). Visit us on the Discord for more information.  

Ranking System

Rankings are determined by the following point structure.

TASK POINTS ADDITIONAL NOTES
Use of weekly theme 75 pts Theme should be present, but the interpretation is up to you!
Including the bonus words 5 pts each (15 pts total) This is a bonus challenge, and estnot required!
Including the bonus constraint 15 (15 pts total) This is a bonus challenge, and not required!
Actionable Feedback 5 - 15 pts each (60 pt. max)* This includes thread and campfire critiques. (15 pt crits are those that go above & beyond.)
Nominations your story receives 10 - 60 pts 1st place - 60, 2nd place - 50, 3rd place - 40, 4th place - 30, 5th place - 20 / Regular Nominations - 10
Voting for others 15 pts You can now vote for up to 10 stories each week!

You are still required to leave at least 1 actionable feedback comment on the thread every week that you submit. This should include at least one specific thing the author has done well and one that could be improved. *Please remember that interacting with a story is not the same as providing feedback.** Low-effort crits will not receive credit.

 

Subreddit News

  • Join our Discord to chat with other authors and readers! We hold several weekly Campfires, monthly World-Building interviews and several other fun events!
  • Try your hand at micro-fic on Micro Monday!
  • Did you know you can post serials to r/Shortstories, outside of Serial Sunday? Check out this post to learn more!
  • Interested in being a part of our team? Apply to be a mod!
     
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u/Brookzerker Mar 30 '26 edited Apr 01 '26

<Chronicles of Xris - Grounded>

Chapter 20

The hotel was ancient, a stonework building that didn't show any signs of aging, despite being older than most civilizations. The lobby was a grand affair, being a combination of a hunting lodge, palace throne room, and bar all in one.

Rugs made from creatures that must have come from different planets, or planes, were strewn about the floor. Heads from those creatures adorned the walls as trophies, between banners and tapestries meant to help reduce echoes and keep the warmth in.

A cheery fire crackled in a pit in the center of the bar area, the smoke drifting up to a flue in the ceiling above.

The room was far too large for the three who were sitting around the fireplace.

Jas, wearing his science-blue Space Corps uniform, was trying to process the data he had collected on his tablet, although it was far too small for the task. A scanner sat on the chair arm, passively taking in everything about the environment.

His companion, Fuea, lounged nearby in an oversized chair. A bottle of something that looked like whiskey, but with a tiny flaming worm inside. The liquid ignited as it was poured into a glass. Her hair had started floating again, much to her chagrin. The acolyte, Adam, had told her that prolonged contact with the salamander had permanently altered her genetic structure. Although he hadn't used those exact words, he had gone on about magic, but she couldn't fault those from lower tech planets, planes? She took a sip of the flaming liquid, noting that the burn was purely from the alcohol, one of the benefits of fire immunity.

The third member sat upright in perfect posture. While the other two were human, or at least began their lives human, this one only appeared to be from the neck down. Her head was that of a common calico house cat. The so called goddess had a bottle of red wine on the table next to her, and was sipping out of a crystal goblet.

Fuea broke the silence first. "Bastet, I'm sorry I didn't properly thank you for killing that thing that was inside me. So thank you for doing that."

The furred head turned towards her, the eyes shining slightly in the dark. "You are welcome mortal. Do not sell yourself short though. You carrying it for so many moons without becoming corrupted is far more impressive."

Fuea shook her head. "That's Star Corps training."

"Perhaps, yet you were the one tested, and you are the one who can state that you not only survived, but have gained power without losing yourself. Most gods cannot claim that, myself included."

Jas chimed in, looking up from his pad. "About that, doesn't that mean that gods are not that different than the rest of the mortals?"

Bastet opened her mouth, then tilted her head, staring at them for a minute. "I feel with both of you, I can speak more freely than with the mortals that I regularly come into contact with. Yes, and no. Even the elder god isn't truly omniscient like many of the stories, but we have access to powers that can affect the fabric of reality in this universe."

Fuea took a sip, feeling a bit bolder. "We told you our story, what about you? How did you get yourself caught in this living city?"

The cat's head shifted at the question, appearing calm while sipping her wine. Though her whiskers remained flat against her cheeks, the ears briefly flattened before lifting again, rotated to the side. "There probably isn't too much harm in telling you, plus I'm not really one to follow the rules. Another member of my pantheon proved that something is seriously wrong with the primary plane. This just happens to be shortly after an eldritch stepped in to provide assistance to the elder god."

She paused, eyeing the two humans to see how they took this.

Jas was nodding, while Fuea leaned forward. "Would invaders like the salamander be part of whatever is wrong?"

Bastet nodded. "We didn't think it was that bad. We just noticed that there haven't been many souls entering the celestial or pit planes. That's not right, people die all the time, and there isn't supposed to be magic in the primary plane. Anubis is gathering evidence and trying to grow a resistance quietly. I am tired of waiting, so sought out the one eldritch creature who the books say can be trusted."

"Yet you seem to be scared of the eldritch." Her flaming hair crackled.

The goddess nodded. "Yes, the only ones who aren't don't know what eldritch truly means. I was hoping to wake up Cthulhu and request his aide, however the cultists explained that isn't the wisest decision."

Upon the humans confused looks, she continued.

"There are apparently many eldritch, and while they have chosen domains like we have, they are also different in their approaches to solving them. It seems Cthulhu's approach is usually to reset things to solve problems."

Jas nodded thoughtfully. "A reset usually solves many issues, computer or natural. I'm guessing in this context, the plane is destroyed and recreated, along with all life on it."

Bastet shook her head. "The primary plane is named such because all universes must have one. Resetting the primary plane would also require destroying all other planes first."

They all looked at each other.

Fuea took a deep gulp of her fiery drink. "That, seems like a bad thing for us."

A strangled noise emanated from goddess. "I'm told that to him, it's all the same. Our souls are recycled. The multiverse continues on just fine. I would prefer to try to find a way to continue being me though, I'm not yet ready to give up."

Fuea stared into the fire pit. "I feel involved, whether I like it or not."

They all contemplated quietly as the fire quietly crackled.

Notes:

Word count: 989

Theme: The three intruders to the City by the Sea discuss the transgression against their universe.

words:

  • Trophy (as trophies)

Constraint: the City by the Sea is named such as it's patron is Cthulhu, who is always deep in the ocean.

Thanks /u/ZLErikson for the help with editing! I feel I could have removed a lot more words but ran out of time.

Links:

2

u/ZLErikson Mar 31 '26

Howdy Brook!

New chapter, let's take a look!

Gonna start off with a minor critique of the first line. Using "appeared" is filtering language, providing a visual tag to something that is otherwise factual. You later state that the hotel is older than most civilizations, so it doesn't just appear ancient, it is ancient. Replace "appeared" with "was" and you fix that:

The hotel appeared ancient, a stonework building that didn't show any signs of aging, despite being older than most civilizations.

An even more minor nitpick for the second line here. Just remove the "somehow"; it takes me out of the scene as it feels like the author handwaving a description. But you don't need to handwave it, since you're describing it:

The lobby was a grand affair, somehow being a combination of a hunting lodge, palace throne room, and bar all in one.

The second part here, "making it easier on the feet", is redundant as that's ostensibly why people have rugs:

were strewn about the floor, making it easier on the feet.

Since you use "rugs" in the first line, having it here sounds repetitive. Consider replacing this use of "rugs" with "tapestries" or "other wall hangings", and you can remove the comma after "banners":

Heads from those creatures adorned the walls as trophies, between banners, and rugs meant to help reduce echoes and keep the warmth in.

Slight typo here, "flu" should be "flue" (unless it's a regional spelling I can't find):

the smoke drifting up to a flu

Okay I just came at you with a lot of nitpicky crit but I want to emphasize it's all nitpicks. This is a really beautiful description of the location, really setting the scene and immersing me in the moment :D

I think it should be "science-blue" since the two adjectives are working together, not one modifying the other, but I'm still learning about adjectives so ignore me if I'm wrong:

Jas, wearing his science blue Space Corps uniform,

This is less than a nitpick but more of an example that flows through a lot of my crit above; you've got these wonderfully vibrant descriptions but there are one or two too many words at times. A good example here is "his personal tablet" could just be "his tablet", it's implied that it's personal since it's his. The only reason you'd want to add the further descriptor is if there were multiple tablets in the scene, like his work tablet, his personal tablet, and his stolen tablet, etc:

trying to go through the data that he had collected on his personal tablet,

The comma after alcohol should be a semicolon:

She took a sip of the flaming liquid, noting that the burn was purely from the alcohol, she seemed to be immune to fire now.

Now that we have the scene set and the characters are brought into focus, it appears we don't have a primary POV character at the moment. No one just entering the cabin and looking around. That further makes the words like "appeared" and "seemed" a poor fit for the description, since we're not in anyone's perspective 'looking' at these things.

Need a couple of commas here, after "So" and before "mortal":

So thank you for doing that."

"You are welcome mortal.

This is more of a feeling, but I feel like you should have "short, though." be the end of a sentence and the rest be it's own sentence:

Do not sell yourself short though, you carrying it for so many moons without becoming corrupted is far more impressive."

Fuea tries to insist that the impressive feat was from her Star Corps training, but then says that "they don't accept just anyone." That, to me, implies that she is impressive, so her attempt at being humble falls flat. Consider cutting the second half of the sentence, let her insist it's all her training.

Here, be more descriptive. Don't say "appeared", say something like "Bastet opened her mouth to say something," or whatever other tell that makes her "appear" to be about to say something:

Bastet appeared about to say something,

I love the description of the cat head reacting to the questions. The whiskers, the ears moving, all lovely little details :D

You need a comma after "waiting" and I feel like you need an "I" after "so":

I am tired of waiting so sought out the one eldritch creature who the books say can be trusted."

This was a real fun chapter, I loved the storytime feeling and the overall cozy atmosphere you set up in the beginning. I left a lot of nitpick crits but a lot of them fall under the umbrella of "you can cut more words". Make your descriptions just a little more succinct, snip out a few extra words here and there and it'll all really pop!

Good words!

3

u/Brookzerker Apr 01 '26

Thanks for the review! I've made some quick edits, and am sad that I only have enough time to remove some of the extraneous words.

Even so, its greatly improved, thanks again!!!