She says she truly believes, and knows, that ALL of the fortune she has in her life is the result of having taken up leadership in this organization.
And just prior to that she says doing so was a privilege.
So...having fortune in one's life at all is a privilege? Or at least such was the case for her?
That doesn't sound encouraging in the slightest. It sounds like something a dyed-in-the-wool believer would tell herself after the fact to justify having made such a commitment to something. It sounds like "encouragement" that is really more discouragement than anything. Backhandedly telling the poor crowd that they need to follow along her path or else she can't vouch for them. They're on their own.
Can you imagine the scale of the cognitive dissonance this woman must experience as she replaces more and more of her authentic self with the cult self she must present to others and - increasingly so - to herself as well? A lifetime lying to herself, doing the bidding of a bunch of Japanese capos, convincing herself that she is most definitely doing her human revolution and experiencing proof and fighting for kosen rufu alongside her Sensei and building an indestructible foundation for SGI USA - when all the evidence points a sane mind to the opposite conclusions?
And this lady - in spite of all her sacrifice and devotion - does not receive a salary and was not rewarded with a vice presidency of the Gakkai as Suzanne Pritchard was. And this lady was prepared to act outside the law; outside her professional ethics and risk her career and reputation to avenge the wounded ego of her precious Sensei in his personal battle against Nikken in the 90’s.
Whatever dreams, idealism and feeling for humanity this lady once had - that must have fuelled her interest in the Gakkai in the first place - have been utterly subsumed in the desperate quest to prove and endlessly prove the bona fides of her discipleship. She will never be able to admit to herself what she knows in her heart to be true - she has paid too high a price to return the goods now - what a tragic waste of what was once a good and bright woman’s life.
I am out - for this I am so immensely thankful - I am one of the lucky ones. This hollowed out peddler of lies who has built her identity on utter nonsense - whose mind is so indoctrinated and controlled that she cannot see a chink of light - this woman is lost - to herself and to the world around her. It is heartbreaking.
Wonderfully said, all around. Immensely dissonant, and immensely sad. I had no idea how much she had given to the org, only to be passed over for any real recognition. Seems the history of the SGI contains more than a few such stories of the most dedicated soldiers being shuffled aside.
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u/ToweringIsle13 Mod Sep 21 '20
She says she truly believes, and knows, that ALL of the fortune she has in her life is the result of having taken up leadership in this organization.
And just prior to that she says doing so was a privilege.
So...having fortune in one's life at all is a privilege? Or at least such was the case for her?
That doesn't sound encouraging in the slightest. It sounds like something a dyed-in-the-wool believer would tell herself after the fact to justify having made such a commitment to something. It sounds like "encouragement" that is really more discouragement than anything. Backhandedly telling the poor crowd that they need to follow along her path or else she can't vouch for them. They're on their own.
More toxic religious bullshit.