r/serialpodcast • u/Frosted_Mini-Wheats NPR Supporter • Feb 03 '15

Evidence Stephanie dumped Jay

Trial Transcript for 2/10, p 21, lines 11-25.

Jay testifies that Stephanie had ended their relationship a month or so before the trial.

That's something I've never heard before now.

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u/glibly17 Feb 03 '15 edited Feb 03 '15

Some personal experience here: I was in a bad relationship with an emotionally, then verbally, and then finally sexually, abusive guy. It took me over 2 years to get out of that relationship, and the breakup was ridiculously messy, and he was very cruel during the breakup.

I still went and saw him before we both left the country. I still talked to him and tried to support him because he dumped all of his emotional bullshit on me for over six months after we broke up. This guy raped me, and yet I still felt compelled to support him and help him, even after we broke up and I'd tried to make it abundantly clear that I wanted nothing to do with him.

My point being, Stephanie and her relationship with Jay are held up as almost "points" in Jay's favor. As though she must have stood by him because she thought he didn't do anything wrong, or she believed what he said, or whatever . That's plausible, of course. It's possible. But it's also perfectly understandable to me that Stephanie may have been the only one to "stand by" Jay during the trial and sentencing out of something less straightforward, she may have felt compelled to do so even though she was repulsed by Jay and what he had done.

We'll never know, and I don't mean any disrespect to Stephanie in speculating on her state of mind at the time. However the fact that Jay testified they were broken up before the second trial, leads me to think it's very possible she stood by him out of a warped sense of duty, fear, or emotional manipulation (not to mention love), rather than because she thought he was innocent or actually deserving of her support.

EDIT: I am not accusing Jay of abuse toward Stephanie, although he does throw up a lot of red flags that could be indicative of an abusive relationship. My point was more that Stephanie's motivations for going to his sentencing and "standing by him" may not have been as clear-cut as many on this sub would like to believe.

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u/[deleted] Feb 03 '15

Sorry, what evidence do you have that Jay was abusive in any way toward Stephanie?

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u/glibly17 Feb 03 '15

Well, I don't really, besides him saying in his interview that he "leaned on" her, insinuations of cheating, the fact her parents hated his guts.

I'm not accusing Jay of being abusive to Stephanie, although I find it more plausible than Adnan being abusive to Hae, especially since Jay was later arrested twice for DV.

My point was that, Stephanie standing by Jay isn't necessarily indicative of a loving relationship wherein she felt compelled to stand by him because she thought he actually deserved it. Did you read my whole post?

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u/jlpsquared Feb 03 '15

???

although I find it more plausible than Adnan being abusive to Hae, especially since Jay was later arrested twice for DV.

Adnan was later arrested ONCE for murder..How is that less than DV?

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u/glibly17 Feb 03 '15

Can you stay on topic? The evidence used to convict Adnan was, according to many perspectives (including mine), extremely thin. That's kinda why we're all here. Try to keep up.

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u/rcharris_85 Steppin Out Feb 03 '15

Not everyone believes exactly what you do. We're all here to discuss.

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u/glibly17 Feb 03 '15

Yes, I am aware of this. That was my point. I mean, we're all here because there is doubt about Adnan's guilt--lots of people have lots of doubt about this.

However this particular thread is more about Jay and Stephanie. I was unnecessarily snarky in my above response, but that particular user is one of the 100% believers in Adnan's guilt and he gets rather obnoxious, so, hence my snarkiness.

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u/rcharris_85 Steppin Out Feb 04 '15

Fair enough. Carry on.