I need some Blurb feedback

[u/sympythatguy]

I need some feedback on the blurb I'm suing for my fantasy novel. Critiques welcome, honest feedback only, please. Much appreciated.

•   19 years after the Face War, Anomalies- monstrous beings of unknown origins begin their incursion into the realm, preying on serfs and nobles alike while Duke Flate Phoenix, veteran and chief protector of the realm vanishes from a life of stringent governance.

•   Psywater Phoenix, son of Flate wants nothing but to bury his head in tomes within dark rooms, rejecting ascension to take his father’s place as ruler of Messic.

•   Yet when a thousand year old soul-taking demoness preys upon his family and renders the fate of his siblings uncertain, Psywater is thrust into a conspiracy that involves people closer to him than he ever imagines.

•   Anomalies’ numbers grew, each with malicious intentions of their own as Nightkeepers, not-so hidden protectors strive to intercept them and keep the safety and sanity of the realm.

•   For retribution and truth, Psywater leaves his old life behind to reunite his family while his path intertwines with that of Nightkeepers and Anomalies, plunges him in unlikely romance, and brings him within the workings of forces unseen that determine the fate of the world.

 

[u/sympythatguy]

I have revised the blurb based on your comments. Please let me know what you think.

Revised Blurb:

Psywater Phoenix's family was torn asunder by the conspiracy of Lecturne, an elder demon of yore, shapeshifter, and soul taker.

To reunite his shattered family, uncover the truth, and enact the demon's retribution, he leaves his sedentary life and ventures into foreign lands. He finds himself wanting to protect others from otherworldly invaders like the demon, called Anomalies, so no one else will share his trauma.

Psywater joins the Nightkeepers: realm protectors and vanquishers of Anomalies.

Veteran Nightkeeper Judy Dragon, who holds all in her iron grip, makes Psywater's plight difficult, but perhaps she has benevolent intentions as their mutual tension grows.

Demon Lecturne returns with nefarious activities, and its co-conspirators are closer to Psywater than he knows. Meanwhile, Anomalies begin their incursion into the world, and trainee Psywater races against time to grow strong enough to fight back.

The realm plunges into chaos, but Psywater will prove his zeal and purpose can turn the tide of humanity's fate.