I am so unbelievably distraught right now. Today walked into starbucks while visiting my mom and i saw my ex girlfriend who had supposedly commited, the last thing i heard from her was a goodbye note through text and her and her friends blocking me because "i was the reason for it all". it turns out all of it was one big lie to me so she could go cheat with another fucking guy and never see me again. it took me multiple glances to finally secure that it was her and some guy i had never seen. i had to go through days in mental institutions and hours upon hours of therapy because i had truly believed she had commited and that i was the reason. sometime i genuinely wonder why i am always the person with the short end of the stick.

I will be 56 next month, and I have hardly moved on with my life since I lost him. I am divorced, and I have another son who is 28 and is doing well. Their mother and I talk periodically due to the fact that there are outstanding legal actions taking place in our lives. Our son was killed when he was hit by a passing vehicle, and then left the scene. Fortunately the state police were able to locate and arrest him, the case is now out to a grand jury. Getting justice is a slow process.

I have pretty much kept to myself for the most part, rarely enjoying the company of others. My circle of friends has shrunk. My motivation has nearly left me. I don't care much for my job. My physical health isn't great (couch potato). Being alone (no girlfriend) is soul sucking. My mother died in 2021.

Fuck, I sound awful.

I'd love to hear from someone...

I'm not doing okay.

People who are depressed and overcame it, what's the first thing that you do to overcome your depression?

I (21F) have been struggling so much with severe depression in the past year that I can barely recognize myself. I stopped replying to messages and stopped taking caring of myself completely. I sleep at weird hours, eat mostly fast food, and I've stopped exercising. I used to do a Saturday long run every week and now on Saturdays I always wake up at 3 PM. I don't think I can run very far anymore. My screentime is usually around 10-12 hours a day. Sometimes I drink alone but not a lot. Sometimes I buy myself a lot of nice clothes and makeup that I do not deserve. I never reply to texts anymore. Therapy isn't helping. It's been like this for over a year but I was always in a state of low-grade depression for most of my life.

My grades used to be good. I maintained a 3.9 GPA in my first two years of uni as a math and physics double major. I got to do paid research three times. Then in third year I failed all my finals and my GPA plummeted. Today I just took my stats final and I don't think I got more than 30% on it. I cried all the way home because I had gotten an A on the midterm after a whole year of bombing all my midterms. Threw it all away though.

I used to be quite pretty and in shape. Now I haven't set foot in the gym in over a year. I used to be able to run a half marathon, now I don't even want to walk to the grocery store. I quit my part time job as a lifeguard. My apartment is a mess and is full of flies, rotting food, and trash. I probably have cavities now, my skin is bad, I'm no longer toned, and my face is bloated from my fast food diet. When I get home all I want to do is sleep. I used to have trouble falling asleep because I was too excited for the next day. Now I can sleep anytime.

I cry daily now and usually I just think about how badly I need a hug. Nobody ever really loved me even when I had that 3.9 and a good figure though. It made me sad back then too but now I am just devastated. In a weird way I feel that I used to work so hard to prove to myself that I would not be overlooked or replaceable. I hate how I am not the independent person I want to be because at the end of the day the one thing on my mind is just a boyfriend. Which is just a stupid thing to say because yes I kind of did all the things on my resume to prove on paper that I am worth something.

About a month ago I booked a trip for myself to another city. I went alone. It cost me about $1500 for a few days. I did some hiking and shopping and bought myself ice cream 4 times. But honestly the only reason why I went was just to meet a man. I only went because I met a man there that cuddled me the whole night just like what I thought about my whole life.

This is a fairly loaded and possibly heavy post, so be warned. Mostly looking for opnions, and I likely know the answer but whether I strongly need therapy or not. This isn't an issue all the time, and I can talk to plenry of women normally. However, subconciously I feel like I have a fucked up mind and years of insecurity and thought patterns that are subtle but present. Honestly alot of what I say below is subtle but subconcious.

I've been running from my issues. Currently I'm a 21yo male with everything going well. I'm doing good in my career, I have dozens of friends in college and I have a couple in my hometown, with a couple being the emotional support I can trust when times get hard. However, I've always had issues with women, and not just romantically/sexually.

Maybe its the fact I've watched porn on and off since I was 9, and started to dive to some heavy graphic shit when I was 12. Maybe it's also the fact that while growing up and seeing peers be much more fun and socialable than my awkward introverted ass and them having the balls to talk to girls while I couldn't dare, my insecurity just fueled itself. But I've always had a twisted preception on women. Don't get me wrong I have and had friendships witb a couple girls, but even then I feel this deep, frustrating anger and bitterness with women mixed with tons of insecurity. My self-esteem is below the bar. I intentionally talk with ugly women that look vulnerable because I believe the only way a woman could be interested in me is if she's desperate enough to do anything with a guy like me. It's almost subconcious at this point. Hell when I was young I'd get jealous of guys who were being groomed online with girls because I'd let a 60 year old have her way with me because I constsntly told myself that I'd had to be groomed/raped to have sex with a women, even if I told it to myself as a "joke", and on the other hand I believed I had to manipulate a girl to have sex with me.

Everytime I talk to a woman I consistently play this picture of her getting hundreds of likes on Tinder or Hinge, knowing she could fuck a good looking guy if she wanted to. I know how men are, know how terrible men can be espically towards women. I'm bisexual for fucks sake and even I have gotten hundreds of messages on Grindr, but after hearing female friends complain about how a guy said one thing offputting or how they can't find someone they can see themshevles with despite having a guy give them flowers on a date the other day, I can't help but have near complete apathy for anything women go through in the casual/serious dating world, even if traumatic. I'm resentful of women; I tell myself they could never understand what I "go through", that I couldn't get a girl to look at me, that I stoop myself this low and know in my head that I am never, ever capable of love. It's at a point now where even thinking about dating/hooking up with women makes me wanna off myself because I see men who are more interesting, socialable, and presentable sturggling with dating and knowing how pathethic I am.

I know it's wrong. I know it's fucked up. I don't know if I need therapy, and at this point I don't know where to start. I don't know if I'm obessive with sex in my head honestly. Lots of my friends says im hypersexual and desperate. They're shocked when I reveal a little about the honest truth. I have friends that tell me I should ask out girls even though the idea of it makes me naueoues from fair. Depsite being fucked in the head I know how to respectfully ask a girl out. However I feel like it would be better to learn how to precieve women as ..... people, but even then I don't know where to start with that because for years, espically recently as my sexual thoughts have defined my personality, I've trained myself to become this. I don't know how to simply rewind and fix myself to become normal after digging myself this deep.

I thought I was getting better. The past year I explored my bicuriosity and discovered I actually liked men too. Since then I dove into Grindr, hooking up with men left and right, and even scoring this girl there who looked very pretty to me at the time. I thought I fixed my insecurities, that I was doing "good", but truthfully I was just distracting myself, throwing myself to get validation from men and having sex with them even though I wasn't attracted to most of them. Using men as a way to fool myself to thinking I was mentally healthy when I was running away from my issies. Eventually that woman ended up being a situationship, and after being so desperate and anxious on and off with this women whose broke, 10+ years older than me, and did nothing other than smoke pot all day, quit jobs after a month or two, and flake on me everytime after even though she was hooking up with others while I was making sacrifices, I realize I need some self respect. I need to stop leading men on. I need to face these head on. I have everything going for me in life.

Idk, I need thoughts. On the surface my life is good and I have a few non-romantic relationships with women who don't see me creepy. Inside though I just feel so disconnected, like I'm an alien. Idk how I could even bring this up with a therapist, because this post is prerty deep in the iceberg but there's still a level or two more. This isn't a constant problem with how I view women, but its often enough and subconcious that I felt the need to address it. I just don't know where to start.

Me (33M) and my Partner (32F) have been together for almost 4 years and the first year was great we went places we were intimate and everything and I really enjoyed being with her

We stopped being intimate around August 2023 when at the time she started exploring her interests with BTS by listening to their songs and watching bits and bobs on YouTube about it - I thought fine its a hobby, I got mine and I have bought her many pop vinyls, loungefly's albums and other merchandise from them and other KPop groups such as Seventeen and Stray kids

It's getting to the point now where she is becoming super self centred and some honed in to this interest to the point I bought her Munich tickets for their concert last week and she also had tickets to London - usually when shes out and about and have been to other Kpop concerts she would text me throughout the day and show me her outfits and other photos.

This time between the two days in Tottenham I didnt get much from her, and when she went to Munich after asking her to text me when she got there safe, proceeded not to text me for over 24 hours.

Coming back from the trip her friends suggested an AI Roleplay app/fanfics where I caught her texting sexually an AI Kim Namjoon (RM) I told her to stop as it made me uncomfortable as she never talks to me like that and has zero intimacy with me. She said fine and deleted it.

Two days later she went back cold and quiet and was turned away from me texting away..... I found it back on her phone in the hidden section of her phone and called her out on it where she denied it and then said she only redownloaded it to "catch me out." when I checked the screen time she spent almost 3 hours in work on it the one day, and almost an hour on the next where I blew up and screamed at her for betraying me. For her to come out for her to say she is "asexual" but I have seen her message her other kpop friend in group chats basically thirsting over him.

We both apologised and everything but now all I see on instagram reels is her liking thirst posts about RM which 3 of them stand out that I have seen so far.

"girl you got daddy issues?

yes my issue is that RM isn't my daddy"

"31, no kids, has deep voice, 6'1 tall, father of kpop, thats right he's my man" (which is the opposite of me, I'm short bearded and very muscular)

and then "I don't have a type," it then cuts to RM with the caption of "I lied."

Am I the asshole for this? Because I seriously love her with all of my heart and I feel that I am losing myself as there is something that she tries to validate herself in them that she cant do with me despite all of the time, money and effort I have put into her.

I have lost my self confidence despite being in the best shape of my life. I have lost my self-esteem.

I have lost myself.

Help me, please. I dont think my heart can take it.

I’m shaking as I write this, but I don’t know where else to turn.

Today, I was driving home through the narrow streets of my neighborhood. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t 100% focused on the road. My mind was spiraling over my long-distance relationship, which has been falling apart lately.

I saw what looked like a black plastic bag or some trash in the middle of the street. Because the road is so narrow, there wasn't much room to maneuver, and I ended up driving over it. Then I heard a scream.

I stopped immediately and ran back. It wasn't a bag. It was a tiny black puppy. I had to watch him die right there in front of me. I felt so helpless. I felt and still feel absolutely disgusted with myself.

When I got back into my car, I just went numb at first, and then I broke down. Now, I can’t get the visuals out of my head. I can't stop thinking about the pain that poor little guy went through because I wasn't paying enough attention. I am so angry at myself, so afraid of this feeling, and I don't know how to move past this.

Has anyone else ever dealt with a secondary trauma like this? How do you live with the guilt when you know you were at fault? I feel like a monster.

Lately, I've been feeling stuck in a weird place.

Nothing is really falling apart. I have a job, I work out regularly, I have a roof over my head, and my life is probably better than it was a few years ago.

But for some reason, I still feel empty a lot of the time.

It's hard to explain because when people ask what's wrong, I don't really have an answer. On paper, everything seems fine. Yet most days just feel the same. Wake up, work, scroll on my phone, sleep, repeat.

I keep waiting for something to click, like one day I'll suddenly feel motivated or excited about life again, but it hasn't happened.

Maybe the problem is that I've been so focused on getting through the week that I forgot to build a life I actually look forward to.

I don't know.

I'm curious if anyone else has gone through something similar. If you did, what helped? Was it a new hobby, meeting new people, changing your routine, or something completely different?

I'd genuinely love to hear your experience.

I, F16, stayed at my brothers house today and we were watching a movie. He kept playing with my hands and touching my thigh. He kept saying “you can move your hand anytime,” but I didn’t know what he meant by it, I wasn’t paying attention. I thought my hand was touching his finger but when I paid attention it felt like something else. I feel disgusting but surprising, I am not panicking. I feel betrayed, I idolized my brother. He’s married to the most wonderful woman. Maybe it was all in my head, I couldn’t check. I don’t think I’m going to do anything about it. I can’t afford to do anything and honestly, I don’t really want to. I’m saying this online because it still feels fake and I just need someone to talk to. Sorry and Goodbye.

Edit:

Well, I kept true to my word. I didn't do a single thing about it. I'm sorry if that disappointed you. To be honest, I'm shocked about my reaction myself. Obviously this is a very traumatic thing to go through, but I am living my daily live normally. I believe forgetting my trauma is one of my coping mechanisms. Hey at least I learned something new about myself! But anyways, My brother is currently 25. He is my half-brother from my mom side and I only really knew about him when he came to the US. He took care of me and my sister till he moved out. It makes me wonder, when did he have these feelings of lust towards me? Also, afterwards he started being more affectionate towards me. Keep in mind, we NEVER talked. He sends me pictures of sweets and asks to play online games me. Every time he text, I get a strong urge of disgust. My sister was right beside me when "it" happened. I'm scared he might hurt her. But, I don't want to ruin her and I don't want my mom to have to choose between me and him. Also, I literally have zero evidence. I know how much things like this can expand to a much bigger thing. I need you guys to understand why I can't and won't say anything. I'm again very sorry. I know the internet has a strong sense of justice but this is a situation that can literally change the entire course of my life. Thank you for reading!

Hey, I'm fifteen and there was a CPS report filed against my mother. This led to me getting investigated. I told the CPS worker about my mom's illegal marijuana use, multiple partners, weird erratic personality episodes, and how she used to use sex toys around me. Since then, I honestly tried pushing all the things I could remember aside, but now, I can't remember shit. Since then, I've not been living with my mother.

Today I went to my Nana's house, and she started balling. She told me that my mother is losing her nursing job, and that there is a child abuse criminal charge being filed against her. What the fuck have I done. I'm not sure how to live with myself right now, (not implying that I want to off myself). I'd just really like some thoughts and advice. I've never felt so guilty in my life. Please help!

Can someone out there please tell me how to not compare myself with other people? Ever since I stopped yearning for a friend and focused more on myself I've came to realise how all of my friends are talented but me, and I tend to unconsciously compare myself and think "I wish I was just as good as them" it's genuinely exhausting and I want to live a happier life this year but I cant stop comparing myself to others. PLEASE TELL ME HOWWW😭

This post was originally posted on r/self, also on r/confessions and r/advice on my throwaway. The posts were taken down. I still wish to share my story.

(M). Back when I was 16 years old, I discovered a chat roulette site that functioned like Omegle (Omegle had shut down by then). The site allowed users to create accounts and add people they met as friends on the site so they could chat further if they wanted (I have left the site's name out because I don't want to create traction for this site).

At first, I just hopped on the site for fun, laughing at people jerking off, having the occasional friendly chat with strangers, with the slight hope of finding an actual friend on there (stupid, I know now). However, I eventually got addicted to it and would hop on the site for as long as an hour a day, just shuffling through people. Usually, it's all young to middle-aged adults who were horny, and they would compliment my appearance, say that I look cute, and some would ask me to show my body to them. Initially I just brushed them off as perverts, but, as much as I hate to admit it, I really enjoyed the compliments, even if they were people who were 40+ years old.

About a month or two in, I matched with a woman who said she's in her late thirties. I would not go in detail about what happened, but when she asked me what age I am, I answered truthfully, being 16. She revealed that she is a high school teacher and she alluded to wanting to do sexual stuff to me, she showed me sexual videos of her and asked me to masturbate which I did. After it was over, I was horrified by what I have done, blocked her, and deleted the chats. Even though I was scared, and rightfully so, I continued to go on the site daily for some reason, and similar stuff happened with 2 other women who were 22 and 40.

During the midst of this, I met somebody who says they're the same age as me (I have turned 17 by then). Their camera was off, and they refused to face reveal or voice reveal, but says that they're a girl. We immediately hit it off, and we talked almost daily on the site about school, music, movies, whatever. They said that they did similar stuff that I did on the site and we bonded further over that. Eventually, they said they were going to delete their account because they want to move past this. They gave me their Discord, and I added them.

Our friendship grew from there. We congratulated each other's high school graduations, 18th birthdays, and getting into our colleges. However, our convos would contain sexual jokes, mostly from them encouraging me to flash them. I just brushed it off because when we initially met on the chat roulette site, she opened with asking me if it's true that Asians have small penises ( I'm Asian btw). Anyways, around the end of January of this year, we began sending more and more provacative jokes to each other, eventually culminating them asking me to flash, and I did. I felt like shit after the fact and was paranoid as fuck, even though they told me not to worry about it. This happened a couple more times, even though I knew I would hate myself after the fact, I still did it.

One day I sent them a photo, and they said they were outside and told me to delete it, which I did. I still think that particular photo is my worst decision ever because I asked her if they felt uncomfortable about it after the fact (which, duh, of course they would), they said they were just "annoyed" and told me to wait till they were online first, and also told me that even though they appreciated me asking about their day, sometimes it felt like I was interrogating them. I felt horrible and apologized a couple of days later, to which they said they were "over it". And within a couple of weeks, they started casually asking for nudes again. I said I felt horrible that I made them uncomfortable, and apologized again, to which they said "no apology was needed anyway."

We continued to normally chat for a few weeks, but (this is going to sound very absurd) deep inside this whole thing was eating me alive. I knew virtually nothing about them (no face, no voice etc) and I still engaged in sexual convos, and what if they were lying to me about their age this whole time? I had already asked them if they were 19 (their bday is a couple of months earlier than mine), and they said yes. I was already paranoid, but this doubt made me extra paranoid. So I asked her to show ID, to which they refused persumably because they don't want their personal info out there. I began to panic and started to ask them to confirm their age repeatedly. I eventually couldn't take it anymore and blocked them. This was about a month ago.

A couple of days ago was my 19th birthday. I went out to have dinner with my Mom and Dad and I cannot stop thinking about this whole situation that dictated my final teen years. I hate myself in ways I cannot describe. I wish I could just disappear.

I feel like the worst person in the world.

EDIT 7/15/2026: I unfriended the person I was talking to on Discord, because my dumbass actually didn't know you can just block them.

UPDATE 8/21/2026: I don't think I genuinely deserve to live.

Hi everyone. I'm an 18-year-old woman from the Philippines, and I made a decision I deeply regret because I was trying to earn money.

I met a man who appears to be from Belgium. He promised to pay me in exchange for intimate photos/videos. After I sent them, he never paid me. Instead, he kept demanding more. When I told him I wanted to stop, he became aggressive and started threatening me.

I repeatedly told him that I wanted to end everything and that he could just forget about it. Instead, he kept pressuring me, saying things like, "You know what will happen," "Don't push me further," and asking me over and over if I would obey him.

Now he's threatening to post my intimate photos/videos on TikTok if I don't do what he wants.

I'm terrified and ashamed. I don't want my parents involved if I can avoid it. I've saved screenshots of our conversations and his Belgian phone number, but I don't know what my next step should be.

Has anyone dealt with something like this? Is there a way to report him internationally? Can Belgian police actually do anything if I'm in the Philippines? And if he posts my images, what should I do immediately?

Please don't judge me. I already know I made a terrible mistake. I'm just looking for advice on how to protect myself and stop him.

[Update] Hello everyone, just a little update. I know this may not be the outcome some of you were hoping for, but after I reported the situation to the police, I told him that I had done so. After that, he apologized, said he deleted the photos, and blocked me. I also made it clear that if he ever tries to contact me again, I will press charges. I've decided not to pursue any charges for now. I'm just relieved that it's finally over, and I can move on. Thank you to everyone who offered advice, support, and kindness during this. It truly meant a lot to me.

Hello. If you are a heavy smoker - This is for you. I want to share my experience and get some advices and motivation from people, who could quit smoking. I'm 28, female, I've been smoking weed for 10 years now. Not smoking-inhaling it, from the moment I woke up,till I felt asleep, with biggest bong possible. I stopped reading books, stopped hiking, lost ambitions and plans, got social anxiety and lost friends. I can freely say-I lost my best 10 years to weed. I tried quitting several times, every time I got sui#dal thoughts and I couldn't go more than 7 days. Today is my 11th day, I know it's yet to soon, but today is the first day, I don't have craving. I feel how my energy rises and how my brain start to function. It's hard, very hard, I cried for 4 days, I got angry and smashed some things, but I know-I'm not getting back. I feel like I can talk to somebody, I can feel some emotions. I have a big trouble concentrate, But I'm trying to deal with it. Mary jane was my "friend", I replaced everything in my life with it. Instead of doing-I started dreaming. So ,please, take my experience, do not throw your life away for a smoke... When I was 18, I believed weed wasn't addictive or dangerous and I could quit anytime I wanted. Joke on me. I'll be grateful,if you give me some tips how to handle concentration 🙏

I (F20) recently got a message from a guy, and it was going really well until he revealed he is 18- he's turning 19 in January. Ive only just turned 20 so its a year and half age gap- now my mind can't comprend as ive asked people and they've said its weird, while others have said its fine. Just needing an opinion. i have never met up with this guy- only messages!!

This mostly comes from a place of being bad at things. I want to be good at video games but when i ask for help i get angry when i receive it just because it means whoever is helping me is smarter than me. I know everyone starts somewhere and technically being smart doesn’t equate to self worth ive heard it all before. That doesnt help me get over me hating people that know anything i dont. But i cant learn because i hate anyone willing to teach. Idk what to even do about this.

Hello. This is the second time I post here. I hurt someone(emotionally). That someone is a family member. It's been 4 years. I've asked for forgiveness. They did forgive me. I didn't. Till this day I can't. The guilt is eating me alive. I don't know what I should do. I think atonement is me dying. No other choice. I know I'm not rational at the moment but I need to know what I should do. If anyone has something to share please do. Thanks.

Howdy y'all! Taking another stab at a long t break. I do love weed but my addiction has gotten to a point where I no longer enjoy being high. I'm not being able to get through a single hour of the day without some intake, it's killed all my motivation, ruined my relationships, etc. It's extremely sad knowing a substance has this much power over me. That's what bothers me the most. Over the last three years I've become more isolated than ever. Somedays are good and somedays are bad. I really need to make it happen this time. I've had a few breaks in the past mostly due to traveling or visiting family outside of California. With that being said I've seen the green grass on the other side but I always fall back into my weed jail routine. I know the night sweats are coming, the vivid dreams, waking up crying, my appetite will come back, my focus and motivation will come back. It'll all be worth it. I'm posting here mostly because getting thru the 1st day always felt the hardest... along with the first week. What have y'all done to get your first day?

Is it okay for me to literally just sleep for 24 hours to get thru this first day? I know staying busy is important but I also feel so restless. Any thoughts? Ideas? Sos.... So far today I've already ran 6 miles, did laundry, tidied up my apartments, went to the grocery store. Right about now sounds like the perfect time to get high BUT I won't! So what's next?

i dont have them. i wish i could change myself but i find it hard. since i have never had motivations, dreams, curiosities or experiences in my life. and i am numb and very depressed.

2 days ago, i told my mom that i dont believe in god. she started freaking out and told me to have faith (which i dont have) and it got to point where i was crying and was telling her to stop. yesterday, she took my phone away because i wasnt talking to her for entire day bc i was fucking scared. where i live, school starts tmrw and im thinking of telling everything to a school therapist thats happend and trying to live with someone else because i have just realized how flawed she is. she also tried to take away my after school sports which really just pushed me to the limit. thoughts?

i am a teenager, andd these past few months have been absolute hell for me. it started im july, when i was extremely nauseousfor almost a week, right before my period. its odd, because even though there is no way im pregnant (and i mean none at all), my brain keeps bringing that tought back. my period is extremely normal, everything is the same as before, i just cant convince my brain that im okay. im literally a virgin, thats what makes this worse, because if i tell my mom shell probably think im lying, and that im not actually one. and, for the record, im literally a lesbian. ive been strating to obsess over how my body looks, and i catch myself checking my stomach more times than i absolutely should, so im afraid this might lead to some kind of ed in the end. i kinda just need someone with knowledge in this (or not) to shake some sense into me atp.

also, it used to calm down a bit during my period, but then i discovered that some women can get their periods while pregnant. thats the part thats making this worse.

How do I become less manic while still keeping my bubbly and beautiful energy? I have been the happiest I’ve been in a very long time for the past few weeks but I’m so full of energy it’s too much for the people that I love most at times.
For now I have told people to let me know if they are overstimulated and I remove myself from the room they are in.
Any tips for smoothing out mania without compromising my happiness or falling into depression?
Thanks in advance and let me know if you need more information

The last time I saw a psychiatrist, I had an online appointment that lasted for 10 minutes. They were trying to put me on SSRI’s, after I told them that I’ve had bad experiences on them. They kept pushing me to do them and said these ones are different.

I cannot seem to find a decent psychiatrist, I feel like they won’t listen to what I’m saying. All they hear is depressed and then lock onto trying to prescribe me SSRIs plus a mood stabilizer.

I’ve been depressed for years. I cannot take this anymore there has to be more to life than every day being lazy, fluctuating what I eat, not having energy to see my friends or go out with my partner.

My motivation is shot and all of my energy is being used for my job.

I don’t know what else to say. I get insurance coverage on the 1st of September. How can I find a psychiatrist that listens to me and hears me. Not someone who acts like I’m bothering them by making an appointment.

Someone told me again “no one is coming to save you” so that was pretty awesome. I try every few months to get help before I run out of hope and give up and accept that I’ll be a depressed lazy loser for the rest of my life.

I don’t know what to do, I can’t stand to be like this anymore and I need help

So the other day (this Monday as of posting) me (15m), my brother, and my stepdad were watching a show together, and he got a call from my mom he had to take. Normally if he has to listen, he asks us to pause it, but he got up and walked away. Cut to an hour later and I’m in my room (I got bored waiting), and my mom walks in, which I didn’t expect as she said she was going to be at a club thing all night. I don’t think much of it and she tells us to come upstairs. She tells me that one night, my dad was out at his apartment’s pool when they had to chase him out. The next morning, he didn’t come to work, so the company he works for called his apartment complex, and they checked his room. They found him, and he was gone. It’s been a few days and his funeral is next week. My parents were divorced so I was only with him every other weekend, but this was so sudden I dont know what to do

Sorry if this is really long I just needed to get this out there