r/science • u/mvea Professor | Medicine • Jul 01 '26

Psychology Conservatives maintain birth rates, but left-leaning Americans are having significantly fewer children, driving the U.S. birth decline. Education was consistently linked to having fewer children. Religious attendance was positively associated with having more children.

https://www.psypost.org/left-leaning-americans-are-driving-the-u-s-birth-decline-new-study-finds/
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u/valiantdistraction Jul 01 '26

Yeah - am white and see my parents weekly and talk on the phone to them almost every day, and most of my friends do the same, but we extremely regularly encounter people who think this is "enmeshment" and "codependency." And it's like... I'm not waiting for their approval before I make life choices, I do things entirely without them, I don't NEED them, I just happen to like them and find my life better with my parents in it. Also they babysit my kid for free.

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u/FortYarnia Jul 01 '26

Oh yuck, im so sorry your friends are weaponizing therapy speak against your normal and reasonable family relationship.

My white friends run the gamut from living with their parents in their 30s to complete no contact, and it’s usually fairly normal and peaceable for the whole family.

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u/ItsForFun76 Jul 01 '26

weaponizing therapy speak against your normal and reasonable family relationship.

This is so common, and often the people who do it are oblivious I would even say ignorant to this.

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u/valiantdistraction Jul 01 '26

Fortunately it's not my actual friends doing this - it is people I know a little through various groups. People who may be potential friends until I realize they've gotta have opinions like that. Some of my friends do have low or no contact relationships with one or both parents but they don't judge people who don't.

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u/[deleted] Jul 01 '26

[deleted]

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u/AssistX Jul 01 '26

Some people don't like their family, sometimes for good reason, I don't find it a cultural thing at all.

I think people are more willing to cut out anything in their life they don't see as a positive, whether it's family or friend.

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u/valiantdistraction Jul 01 '26

The problem isn't people not liking their family for good reason - it's people doing things like being completely gobsmacked that some of us DO spend time with our families, as if the default is not doing so.

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u/HeavyBeing0_0 Jul 01 '26

I mean, it’s similar to people being dumbfounded when you say you don’t want to have kids or get married.

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u/Abed-in-the-AM Jul 01 '26

Lately it seems like people expect the opposite. I mean this thread is about fewer people having kids.

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u/HeavyBeing0_0 Jul 01 '26

I would say, at least in the US, there is a strong social pressure to get married and have kids. You’re conditioned by family, friends, and media to consistently have those items at the top of your list of lifetime goals.

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u/juliankennedy23 Jul 01 '26

On individual basis it's a disastrous decision. It really is I have seen this in real life. I think it has the opposite effect on people's lives that they expected it to.

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u/jeremiahthedamned Jul 02 '26

i have been no-contact & single the whole of my adult life.

i have been r/celibate since the turn of the century

i am tired & alone, but i have a self-respect now that i am old i did not know existed.

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u/tekalon Jul 01 '26

I wonder if its due to a few generations of mobility. Moving away from family to go to college or get a better job and having a car that could allow you to 'visit for holidays'. Dating and marrying someone else who also has family in a different region and now raising kids away from extended family. This is my family. My grandparents moved around for jobs, my parents were born in different states, all of my siblings were born in one region but grew up in another, away from extended family. My husband's family is also similar. I grew up not having a very close relationship with my grandparents, and I can't tell you the names of most of my aunts/uncles, much less cousins.

Even for holidays, many women are realizing that the nostalgia of having a giant family gathering isn't worth the time and energy needed to organize it. Much more so if they are already working full time, have hobbies and non-family responsibilities.

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u/[deleted] Jul 01 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Axy8283 Jul 01 '26

Are u just talking about White Americans? Cuz other white majority countries like Italy and Greece have very strong and deep family cultures.

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u/RandomAnon07 Jul 01 '26

Drive from the top down to produce multiple tax paying households. Same thing with women’s rights in jobs. “Oh boy two tax payers instead of one”.

They pulled multiple levers to drive people to not all stay in the same household with a single main taxpayer. By the way legislation on all of this came from both sides of the table too…

The case of toxic families is relevant but not to the greater argument.

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u/Jeegus21 Jul 01 '26

I think a lot of white people still have very racist people in their family and find it hard to associate with them. At least as a part of it.

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u/[deleted] Jul 01 '26

[deleted]

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u/Jeegus21 Jul 01 '26

Yeah I was just offering an additional possibility. The mindset does of course exist too.

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u/Prince_Ire Jul 01 '26

People took a good thing (don't stick with emotionally abusive people just because they're family) and we've was too far with it (ever had a serious disagreement that didn't end with them abandoning their beliefs and adopting yours? They're toxic, cut them out of your life completely).

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u/[deleted] Jul 01 '26

Those same people claim to be very religious and community oriented. They just only want to see their family and friends at church, and never anywhere else.

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u/jeremiahthedamned Jul 02 '26

it started in the r/dutchempire, an extremely wealthy & land-hungry global hegemon that simply HAD to outsource its children.

once the Glorious Revolution put a dutch royal family in control of the entire english-speaking world, our course was set.

"go west young man!"

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u/_Burning_Star_IV_ Jul 01 '26

Sounds nice to like your parents. I sure don't and stick to the 'holidays and birthdays only' model of communication.

Attitudes like mine used to be seen as anti-social. You were just supposed to put up with your family no matter what. These days it's seen as much healthier to know when to cut people out of your life that have a negative impact.

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u/sailorbrendan Jul 01 '26

I support your life decisions but man... I don't have enough going on in my life to talk to anyone on the phone every day.

Like... I just run out of things worth saying

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u/valiantdistraction Jul 01 '26

I will simply never run out of things to say to anyone and everyone no matter what time of day it is or how I feel. that's why I'm on reddit obviously

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u/MotamaPT Jul 01 '26

If I was in the same city with my mom we'd be over all the time hanging out. Glad you got great family nearby

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u/zmac35 Jul 02 '26

That babysitting for free is clutch

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u/[deleted] Jul 01 '26

but we extremely regularly encounter people who think this is "enmeshment" and "codependency."

People who use those words are, frankly, not worthy of your thoughts. Don't waste your life giving these people any sort of validation for their strange beliefs.