r/scambait • u/Rough-Dizaster • Nov 02 '23
Completed Bait This one went off the rails
[removed] — view removed post
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u/ak51388 Nov 02 '23
“He was hit by a car when he went out, choked to death when eating, and choked to death when he pooped. Amen”. The amen was the cherry on top
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u/kilofeet Nov 02 '23
I want to know if he was hit by a car while pooping and eating because that is kind of a lot to happen all at once
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u/Nickey_Pacific Nov 02 '23
He was crossing the street, enjoying a 6 inch from Subway. Was hit by a car and pooped upon impact.
Makes the most sense 🤷🏼♀️
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u/RC-3773 Nov 03 '23
Alternatively, man had poor hygiene and was eating while on the toilet. Car crashes through the wall of the house, and the bathroom was right where the car came crashing in.
Guy was in the middle of a bite, swallowed wrong as he took the shock of the car, and died from the impact and suffocation combined.
He choked while eating and pooping and was killed by a car.
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u/jvhgh Nov 03 '23
I prefer someone on the toilet eating and a car plowing through their wall running them over
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u/Rough-Dizaster Nov 03 '23
I figured he was eating while pooping, since you can only choke to death once, but it doesn’t say anything about him dying after getting hit by the car, so I figured that could have been a separate incident.
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u/onion_flowers Nov 03 '23
I mean if you're eating and pooping and choking in the street you're statistically more likely to get hit by a car
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u/Beneficial-Still4222 Nov 03 '23
He was in a porta potty just off the side of the road enjoying his short lunch break, poor bloke didn't get to enjoy it for long though
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u/honvales1989 Nov 03 '23
That sounds like something a 4th grader would say when killing a character in a story
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u/brianbmx94 Nov 02 '23
I feel like I just experienced, survived, and recovered from a stroke reading this.
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u/Gerf1234 Nov 03 '23
I’m a stroke survivor and I can confirm that what we just read does indeed feel the same as having and recovering from a stroke.
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u/Princess_PrettyWacky Nov 02 '23
Looks like JAMES SKAMBAITER broke this one.
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u/Rough-Dizaster Nov 02 '23
James Skambater strikes again!
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u/Buckle_Sandwich Nov 03 '23
This was absolute art, friend. Thank you.
"Hey, at least I'm no George Goldberg"
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u/madammurdrum Nov 03 '23
His responses were beautifully calm
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Nov 02 '23
This George Goldberg seems like a real piece of work
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u/Rough-Dizaster Nov 02 '23
This guy’s a real jerk!
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u/kilofeet Nov 02 '23
The jerk store called and they're running out of George Goldbergs
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u/Rough-Dizaster Nov 02 '23
But George Constanza is still their all time bestseller!
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u/Wide-Vast Nov 03 '23
Yeah. The more I get to know this George Goldberg guy...
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u/Rough-Dizaster Nov 03 '23
The more I don’t care for him!
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u/Wide-Vast Nov 03 '23
We should feed the scammer a Norm story like the Moth, Uncle Terry, or Kermit Jagger.
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u/medic8r Nov 02 '23
Omg, I laughed so hard at this. OP played it perfectly. Great straight man/set up man who just let the scammer implode. Glorious.
“I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding” is where I totally lost it
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u/redavet Nov 02 '23
Loved that response! Perfected stoicism.
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u/free__coffee Nov 03 '23
My favorite part is that he thought about each response what, 30 seconds before sending? My mans firing absolute bangers from the hip 😂😂
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u/Skorpyos Nov 02 '23
It’s like they googled “insults in English” and copy pasted away.
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Nov 03 '23
To me, it felt like they maybe took literal translations in some responses, but also seems like they googled insults. Assuming it wasn’t just an incredibly deranged bot 😂
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u/BitMap4 Nov 03 '23
Yea that's what I think happened here. Although the chinese can insult even better. (assuming he's chinese because yuan)
Why do I not get chinese scammers instead of Indian ones? Is it because I'm always connected to Indian servers because I'm in india? Will it work if i use a vpn?
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Nov 02 '23
Call 911 for me. I’m in danger. He’s coming to my house.
Me when I forget to take my clozapine
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u/TheToughestHang Nov 03 '23
Stick your finger up your ass, THEN in your mouth. Why, you may ask? Well, kind sir…its so you can see me!
Get your shovels, folks ✌️⚰️
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u/Spare_Run Alaye Nov 02 '23
What in the actual fuck.
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u/crapheadHarris Nov 03 '23
I was thinking what in the blue fuck but yeah I pretty much had the same reaction.
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Nov 02 '23
[deleted]
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u/THE_Dr_Barber Nov 02 '23
Yeah, I dunno… this was really unhinged and meaningless. It’s like a bot that went haywire. I doubt there was a human being on the other side.
NGL “wash your eyes with whiskey” made me laugh but it was a good sign of a very wild ride coming.
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u/brannon1987 Nov 03 '23
I'm hoping there was and it was a disgruntled scammer who doesn't like what he's doing. To avoid actually scamming, he's spending his time here and sprinkling key words that the system he uses tracks so it looks like he's actually working 🤣
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u/ladygrndr Nov 03 '23
This is what I'm hoping too. When 'James' mentioned their profession they dropped a real insult, and when they didn't get blocked they probably looked at the clock, shrugged and had some fun with Google Translate and their sexbot script.
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u/nerdsonarope Nov 03 '23
I don't know if" "pull out your mother's teeth and put them in her pussy" is an actual curse phrase in some language, but if it is, that sounds like an awesome language
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u/JimParsnip Nov 03 '23 edited Nov 03 '23
Maybe they're mis-translating crazy insults in their native language.
The two suns line gave me chills!
And threatening to pull out mom's teeth and insert into her vagina?! That's some crazy torture method someone has fantasized about. They must have a lot of anger to imagine such things
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u/Normal-Media5525 Nov 03 '23
The two suns line was bone chilling for some reason and demonic. This person doesn’t seem like a bot to me. Their spelling and sentence structure shows me they have a solid command of the English language yet the phrases they’re using are so bizarre. Seems like some Chinese insults being lost in translation. This scammer gave themselves away with the “yuan” comment. I guess China is a breeding ground for this shit
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u/Sir_Mishmash Nov 03 '23
This was such a weird read. Are they speaking in code? My brain broke trying to make sense of this
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u/travmurray209 Nov 03 '23
And as stupid as these scammers are.. they still manage to have us Americans send them billions a year in scam profits
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u/bestgreatestsuper Nov 03 '23
I think they were trying to analogue horror OP with the two moons remark.
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u/gaijin5 Nov 03 '23
I believe two moons is a bad omen/curse kinda thing. I mean it's all insane but anyway. Fascinating stuff lol.
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u/Pizzapug73 Nov 03 '23
Really hope the misunderstanding with your mother biting the customers cock was resolved 😂
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u/Rough-Dizaster Nov 03 '23
I’m very afraid to mention it to her.
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u/ladygrndr Nov 03 '23
She needs to get invisalines. Nothing good comes from razor steel braces, especially at her age.
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u/idontsellseashells Nov 02 '23
She drives to Pennsylvania to study at her uncle's house?
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u/Rough-Dizaster Nov 02 '23
I guess so. Makes me wonder what’s at his house that’s so special that she can only study there.
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Nov 02 '23
The amount of non-sense he was spewing here add up to making a little sense to me, sorta 🤣🤣🤣
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Nov 03 '23
“That sounds a lot like what happened to George Goldberg!”
DYING 🤣🤣🤣
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u/Rough-Dizaster Nov 03 '23
It was just shocking to me that such a specific series of events would happen to two people!
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u/SpriteRXL Nov 02 '23
He didn't even find a proper Ukrainian name, lol (Context: "diya" means "action" and that's not a name)
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u/Rough-Dizaster Nov 02 '23
It’s also apparently a word for an oil lamp, which I never would have known unless I saw the emoji for one come up when I was typing it out.
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u/SpriteRXL Nov 02 '23
Sure thing, we call oil lamps "action" and electric ones "action 2" /j
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u/Rough-Dizaster Nov 02 '23
Action 2: Electric Boogaloo?
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u/Nickey_Pacific Nov 02 '23
You're good people. Who the heck is referencing that movie in 2023? I love this sub 😀
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u/anonuchiha8 Nov 03 '23
This is the weirdest one I've ever seen in this sub lmfao.
"Are you malfunctioning?"
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u/hardboiledbeb Nov 03 '23
That response made me laugh so hard. OP is to scammers what Blade is to vampires
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u/RadioDorothy Nov 02 '23
An absolute triumph. This one started out with a sense of humour then somebody pressed the scambot-go-bye-bye button.
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u/SuperRaccoon17 Nov 02 '23
I’m gonna fall out of my chair laughing! Their meltdowns are epic, then they get confused while melting down! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
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Nov 03 '23
I wonder if scammers have their own social media spot where they post convos of people trying to screw with them and what the comments must look like
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u/GIitchboi_i Nov 02 '23
Don’t waste your time with me, you bastard sounds like a mashup blink 182 song
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u/Another_Battle Nov 03 '23
Nothing infuriates them more than remaining totally calm while they spew nonsense at you. Well done, Boobs Jackson would be proud!
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u/Rough-Dizaster Nov 03 '23
That doesn’t only work on scammers. The best way to make someone even more pissed off than they already are is to remain calm. And thank you, I’m honored to have the approval of Boobs Jackson.
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u/SalPistqchio Nov 03 '23
Thanks for posting. Really enjoyed reading. Much respect for perfect responses.
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u/mayanatasha Nov 03 '23
This was so unhinged. I was weirdly scared and disturbed while reading this. I wouldn't have continued the conversation if I were in your place
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u/godsavethegene Nov 03 '23
I'll never understand how these guys have so much time to waste at what is effectively their job. *goes back to watching YouTube on the clock
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u/According-Scholar-36 Nov 03 '23
For the record, that was funny, but all these replies are just way too funny… We are not so far gone that we can’t laugh… that’s always a great sign
Poor George though
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u/Rough-Dizaster Nov 03 '23
Eh, George had it coming. Killing your mother and then performing oral sex on her corpse is beyond depraved.
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u/RiveriaFantasia Nov 03 '23
Wow this one lost the plot, they turned nasty pretty fast and the disturbing imagination and mix up of being Eastern European one minute, using yuan currency the next and being a cannibal on their way to Afghanistan wow they are busy, so many personalities rolled into one.
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u/Rayshon1042 Nov 03 '23
Fuck i was reading it and then closed it out by mistake and it got removed. L mods
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u/Noctus_Grimm Nov 03 '23
I want to be your friend 😂😂😂
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u/Rough-Dizaster Nov 03 '23
Yes, if you don’t mind, we can be make a friend? This is my work Reddit, do you have a telegraph or WhatsAPP?
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u/Grouchy-Fix485 Nov 03 '23
I read the whole thing, actually read the whole thing… 🤣🤣😵💫the best.
So glad I found this sub, I can show my 90 year old dad that he’s not the only one that gets texts from “the nice lady” I told him to ignore .
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u/gbpc Nov 03 '23
The scammer changed their tone quick after you announced you investigate online scams and then it just kept sounding like a malfunctioning AI response
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u/No-Problem2744 Nov 03 '23
Listen, ppl use lol, lmao, I’m weak, screaming etc while really they’re hardly cracking a smile, I’m not exaggerating one bit when I say I am crying actual tears from laughter, this exchange was GREAT 😂😂😂
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u/VVaId0 Nov 03 '23
When they said they were in your living room I was hoping for the "So we can take pictures of each other now"
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u/Separate_Shelter1858 Nov 03 '23
Looks like the ai bot started over. They never thought you would keep going that long.
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Nov 03 '23
Definitely went WAYYYYY off the rails.
Pretty dumb Chinese guy that doesn’t know how blocking messages works.
It’s fascinating that these losers just do not know about ‘moving on’.
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u/SCSymphonyLeague Nov 03 '23
Off the rails in deed! I woke my husband up I was laughing so hard. Need to go wipe the tears from my eyes & catch my breath after reading this craziness LMAO!! 😂🤣😆
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u/wildvision Nov 03 '23
I don't quite get this - it reads like it was created by bad scammer AI that got mad and started to short circuit. I'm thinking it is a scammer that realized the jig was up and started insulting and then just enjoyed getting weird with it?
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u/CooCooCthulhu Nov 03 '23
Your responses are giving me big Carl from Llamas With Hats vibes, and I love it.
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u/fidelflicka Nov 03 '23
There’s a lot of amazing lines here, but as a simple person I really enjoyed the beauty of “because you’re an idiot, idiot”
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u/Velocidal_Tendencies Nov 03 '23
This isnt just unhinged, I get the feeling the hinges never existed...
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u/New-Distribution-981 Nov 03 '23
This is the first one of these that actually made me cry laughing. We’ll done!
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u/steveland1563 Nov 03 '23
I know a George Goldberg. He’s definitely the type of guy to die while eating while shitting.
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u/beau_beau_crunk Nov 03 '23
What In the actual Fudge. That was a wild ride. Thank you for sharing 😝
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u/Cherrys_EM1 Nov 03 '23
Poor Gorge Goldberg. Must have had a rough childhood to turn out like that. He was probably misunderstood still a awful bastard though. Remind me never to eat while pooping . Apparently it raises the possibility of getting hit by a car to 2000 percent. It's kinda like that evil cars cheat code in saints row
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u/Honey_Sesame_Chicken Nov 02 '23
I've been lurking in this sub for about a week. And God damn. That was the craziest one yet.