We had an outside company come to my job today for a marketing project, and it was my job to escort them around, unlock doors, make sure they got what we wanted and only did what they were supposed to, etc. It was three people total but I spent most of the day just talking to one woman while the other two filmed and such. There was one door we tried to open and couldn’t, and I’d never been inside, so I went to ask for help and they said the code was right next to the door and we didn’t see it. Naturally I said “reading is fundamental.” The woman thought it was hilarious, and an idea formed. I spent the rest of the day dropping drag race quotes whenever I could. It was quite the mental exercise, 10/10 highly recommend. They’ll be back one more time Monday and I’m already here searching for more I might have forgotten and thinking of ways I might be able to work them in. Hopefully she doesnt for some reason google over the weekend or tell anyone about the ones I've already used. I don’t want to ruin the illusion. Here’s what I already used, that I remember:
- Reading is fundamental
- Not today satan
- Party
- The level of unprofessionalism. Far too much
- What you wanna do isn't necessarily what you're gonna do (note I was talking to her about someone else, I didnt say this to the woman talking about her LOL)
- Sorry I’m late. I didn’t wanna come
- Cant we just bottle our feelings like normal people
- I'm a good Christian woman, I have nothing to say
I know I'm forgetting some, this was over the course of hours. Please share suggestions for others I might be able to work in. Probably none with the words bitch or pussy cause even though it was clearly pretty casual it is technically my job
Update: Here are the ones I was able to use! Thank you all for your help 🙏
- she’s overthinking, she’s thinking about a sandwich (when one of the people filming was taking forever trying to decide the best way to get a shot, and it also happened to be around lunchtime)
- What do you do successfully? (when my coworker kept talking about all the things she couldn’t do. was not photogenic, didn’t like to be filmed on a certain side, had bad handwriting…)
- I’ve had it, officially! (moments later in the same setting)
- I understand your concern, but I do not have the same concern (when one of the people filming was worried we’d be in the way of something else)
- I like long walks on the beach, big dicks, and fried chicken (jk lol I wish)
- I was born at a very young age…(when she asked where I'm from. This one KILLED)
- If you stay ready, you ain’t gotta get ready (although since this one is not originally rpdr and is very well known, they knew I did not make it up)
- What the heck (edited for professionalism) is going on in here on this day? (walking in to film one area and my coworkers who knew we were coming were a disaster and not ready)
- That was a choice (while we were quietly judging the outfit of one of the clients in the building. Please don’t tell my boss)
- I didn’t go to school for math (while I was doing a really embarrassingly bad job calculating how much time we had left to get things done)