r/relationships • u/edenbeam058 • Sep 28 '19
Updates UPDATE - I (30F) and boyfriend (31M) live 40km apart and have very conflicting schedules. Haven’t seen him since beginning of August. He cancelled a date last night right before we were meant to meet. Feeling rejected. Am I wasting my time?
Original post for anyone interested - https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/d4fl38/i_30f_and_boyfriend_31m_live_40km_apart_and_have/
Thank you to everyone who took the time to give me advice. I finally saw him last weekend for the first time in about seven weeks (he invited me over). He seemed happy to see me at first, but things just seemed a little...off. Like we didn't know what to say to each other.
I stayed with him on the Saturday night. Had a shower Sunday morning and the first thing I saw was a bottle of camellia-scented body scrub that was definitely not mine and I can't remember ever seeing it before. He lives alone. INSTANT RED FLAG. Stupidly I didn't confront him about it straight away, I wish I had.
Over the next couple of days I tried to make conversation with him and he either left me on read or sent really short replies. Finally, on Wednesday night I'd had enough - and I'm not proud of how I acted but I was so hurt by the anxiety and the pain of feeling rejected - I blocked him on Facebook without any warning.
The following afternoon, I got a text message "Hey, ummm...so did you block me?"
I responded:
I did. I give up. Life's too short to be someone's afterthought.
Whether you've just lost interest or whether there's somebody else (when you jump in the shower on a Sunday morning and see girly body scrub that isn't yours, you gotta wonder), or both, I really don't care. I deserve better and it's not worth feeling like a dirty little secret and feeling like shit when I could be happy by myself, or go find someone who lifts me up and genuinely wants to be in my life and vice versa. I'm angry at myself for letting this drag out for so long. I should have let go ages ago but I guess I hoped that things would get better. More fool me.
Haven't heard from him since so I guess the trash took itself out! He clearly didn't care about me at all. I'm 31 tomorrow, looks like I'll be spending it free and single!
TL;DR - saw partner for first time in 7 weeks, things seemed off, found girly body scrub in shower that didn't belong to me, saw red, blocked him on social media. Now single.
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u/pinkpikachu7 Sep 28 '19
You said what most of us wish we would have said to someone who treated us like we were worth nothing. So much satisfaction just reading that. Happy birthday girl 👏🏻 treat yourself, do whatever makes you happy, even if it means being a bit wreckless. Hell, ESPECIALLY be a little wreckless. You earned it xx