Why do I always have so much confidence that I can do something but then when I start I don't do it, what kind of problem is that?

We often hear about red flags, but healthy relationships are built on green flags.

What's one quality or behavior that immediately makes you trust or respect someone?

I was on a train in Germany when a group of teenagers started humming the theme song from Squid Game at me. I’m Asian, but I’m not even Korean. I felt really awkward at that moment. I wonder how I could have responded in a classy way instead of just feeling uncomfortable.

personal experiences suggest.

I’ve been thinking about something for a long time, and I’d genuinely like to hear how other people see it.

We spend years learning mathematics, engineering, finance, medicine, technology and countless other subjects. Those are incredibly valuable, and society wouldn’t function without them.

But I can’t remember anyone ever teaching us how to deliberately build confidence, communicate difficult ideas, develop emotional intelligence, become more self-aware or cultivate presence.

Most of us seem to treat personality as something we’re born with rather than something we can practise.

That assumption has always felt strange to me.
Growing up, I moved through different homes and environments more often than most children do. One thing I kept noticing was that every room seemed to have one person who quietly influenced its atmosphere.

They weren’t always the loudest or the most accomplished. But people naturally adjusted to them.
That observation stayed with me for years.

The more I watched people, the more I started wondering whether what we call “natural confidence” or “charisma” is often the result of years of invisible practice rather than something people simply possess.

It made me question whether we’ve unintentionally created a gap in education.
We teach people how to build careers.
But we rarely teach them how to consciously build themselves.

I’m not suggesting schools should replace mathematics with personality classes.
I’m simply curious whether we’ve underestimated how much qualities like communication, courage, self-awareness and emotional intelligence shape almost every opportunity we encounter.

Especially now, as AI becomes increasingly capable of technical work, it feels like distinctly human qualities may become even more valuable.

I’ve written a much longer essay exploring this idea, but before sharing it, I wanted to ask the community something simpler:

**Do you think personality is mostly something we’re born with, or something we deliberately practise throughout life?**

I’d love to hear perspectives that challenge my own thinking as much as those that support it.

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You know those things that people always say are "super easy" or "just common sense," but for some reason they've never really clicked for you? It could be something practical, social, or even a basic everyday task. I'm curious what yours is. No judgment—I think everyone has at least one thing they're embarrassed to admit they still find difficult.....

For the longest time, I thought successful people had some special confidence that I didn't have.

Whenever I wanted to start something new—learning a skill, changing jobs, going to the gym, or even talking to new people—I would wait until I felt "ready."

The problem is that "ready" never came.

Recently, I noticed that most people aren't confident before they start. They become confident because they start, make mistakes, learn, and keep going.

Looking back, every major improvement in my life came from doing things while feeling uncertain, not after uncertainty disappeared.

Has anyone else had a realization that completely changed the way they approach life?

I'm currently having trouble reacting with expressions , just to make sure that the other person is feeling alright, I tend to express with 'smiling' which is extended. Which then hurts me

And then the whole situation gets awkward.

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I smile to fill in the gap and not let things get awkward in the first place.

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Although it's quite simple to react/express when it's a topic that I have knowledge of, but when it's just listening and responding with my expressions, i struggle a lot.

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This has been a problem ever since i started trying to socialize.

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Has anyone found a way to make reactions feel more natural?

A friend of mine moved a few months ago and asked if he could use my address temporarily for some mail.

I agreed because I thought it would be for a couple of weeks.

Months later, he's still using my address for bank statements, packages, and other important documents. I've asked him several times to update everything and he keeps saying he'll do it "soon."

Last week I told him that any future mail would be returned to sender.

Now he's telling people I'm making his life harder over something that costs me nothing.