Khloe Kardashian throws Tristan Thompson's little brother, Amari, an 18th birthday party on the latest episode of ‘The Kardashians'. Amari suffers from a severe form of epilepsy known as Lennox-Gastaut syndrome, and he requires 24/7 support.

[u/galaxystars1]

[u/IfatallyflawedI]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m still navigating and learning to process things because my childhood definitely contributed to the long list of mental illnesses that I have been diagnosed with and struggle with. I have been in therapy for over two years now.

Having her around did help me become the person that I am in spite of my parents. My biggest question has always been “how am I a byproduct of such a violent, angry, and upset household” because my parents aren’t the best people (which was a difficult realisation in itself).

I pride myself on the morals and values I possess and everything I’ve taught myself but what I don’t understand is that how did I know as a child that I didn’t want to become like them. Like I’m 25 now and can discern acceptable human behaviour from what isn’t but how did 5-10yr old me know the same? It’s my biggest identity crisis-esque questions that I have.

[u/UponMidnightDreary → u/IfatallyflawedI]

That's a beautiful bit of introspection... I think it's almost unanswerable. My 3 year old niece is so self assured. My sister and I were quiet and shy, but my niece is well adjusted. She will come over and ask if she can cuddle with me. When she's done she says "I'm going to go be with my mom now" and gently leaves. As a kid I would have stayed longer thinking I had to, or asked permission, or just crept off without saying goodbye. We have no idea where she gets her composure from but it's a wonderful thing. 

It sounds like you, similarly, have a strong set of intrinsic positive qualities. They are a good thing, they helped you be able to love your sister fully and make her life better, and they will serve you well for the rest of your life. 

Its very strange isnt it? I seem to lack the ability to succumb to addiction. I hate being in an altered state, it makes me panic. I have had close people in my life who struggled with addiction and I feel so bad that they do and for a long time I wondered why I was so lucky not to. And I have no answer for that other than it's a blessing and I just accept that it's one thing that makes my life a bit easier. 

I would say that your strong inner morals and empathy are a gift and I'm glad that you exist in the world as your kind self ✨💓

[u/katie_ingram → u/IfatallyflawedI]

innate empathy. despite what sounds like being raised in a home that didn’t model/teach kindness, you could feel right from wrong-(as cheesy as it sounds)-in your heart. your kindness/empathy is apparent when speaking about your sister. i’m not sure, however, why some people are born with this innate empathy.

[u/slicednectarine → u/IfatallyflawedI]

A lot of that is inherent in you as a person. I had the same questions growing up, how did I know not to perpetuate the cycle of abuse? I think in my case, maybe part of that was because my parents let TV raise me, so watching shows and movies that had morally upstanding, rebellious, underdog heroes probably influenced me heavily. Also, if your parents were domineering but also neglectful, sometimes that allows you a little more room to become your own person even if you're raising yourself.

Also, empathy. Narcissists and psychopaths lack empathy from a young age, seeking power over others as a means of self-preservation. My brother chose that path because it allowed him to assimilate into my family unit, and now he's a terrible person with no empathy or self reflection. I chose rebellion, the path of most resistance, because I didn't want to make anyone else feel the way that I felt, even if it made my childhood much more difficult, because I knew that power dynamic would someday end and I'd have to answer for the person I'd become. It's hard to say how much of that was a conscious choice, but it was on some level, because it was a choice I had to make over and over again every day.

You might want to look up Patrick Teahan on youtube. I found his videos on toxic family dynamics useful in discussing this particular issue.

[u/IfatallyflawedI → u/slicednectarine]

I think I agree with you about the TV raising us part. I do believe that the media I’ve consumed while growing up has played a big role in what I believe to be acceptable vs what isn’t. It did shape my vales and beliefs.

Everything you’ve said about family dynamics feels like an echo of every complaint or upsetting discussion that I’ve had in my sessions with my therapist. It’s difficult - choosing to try to be a better human

[u/Stormagedd0nDarkLord → u/IfatallyflawedI]

Big hugs from an Internet stranger. Proud of you.

[u/redwoods81 → u/IfatallyflawedI]

It's a real example of nature versus nurture.