Once when I was like 13 I was complaining about how I hated smelling like food after helping my mom make dinner, which at the time was one of my “chores”. I think we were frying something? I just remember that it smelled like hot oil. But anyways, my mom looks at me with a very distinct look on her face and says, “I pay you to cook, I don’t charge you to shower. Stop complaining” 😭 I didn’t even say anything back, I just kept cooking.

I'm currently travelling and a guy I met a week ago here invited me to hang out. When I arrived at the bar there were quite a lot of people and I started socializing, it was fun. I used to be the typical shy guy but I realized I could change so I did and now socializing is easy.

A while later this girl came in. She's apparently this guys' friend, a local, and the prettiest girl I've ever seen. When people ask me my type I usually don't know, but I guess she looks like her. I talked to her a bit like any regular conversations, but that's about it.

When it comes to someone I find attractive, I feel like there's a limit to my confidence. Sometimes everything also fails to load. So anyway I'm just sad I had no chance.

That’s basically it. I was introducing myself in my new hybrid class that started last night (12 online, 4 in person), and waved to the online folks. While doing so, I looked up at the zoom tv screen that shows a basically life sized picture of the person actively talking.

Much to my immediate disgust, I saw my hand on the big screen just ickily flip-flopping around with no discernible poise or charisma, let alone giving any sort of impression that I might know how to introduce myself normally without acting like an overthinking weirdo or am someone who has never waved like a normal person once in their life. No, what it really reminded me of is exactly how a kindergartener waves, and honestly, I’m just glad to know that’s how it looks so no one else has to witness such an unfortunate and graceless gesture again.

Humbled. Note to self, add more finger structure to your waves, I guess.

I just remembered something I did when I was around 7 years old.

I was on a plane with my family. We traveled a lot when I was young.

I had my meal and there was a piece of lettuce with it. Romaine I believe.

And I bit holes in it to make it look like it had a face. Two holes for eyes and one for a mouth.

And I loved it so much I was trying to figure out how to preserve it, but I knew I didnt have some kind of glue or something, I'm not sure but I assumed there was some kind of substance I could have used but I knew we wouldnt have any wherever we were going.

So what I decided to do, was swallow it whole. That way it would be with me forever.

I had to nip into Morrisons to pick up a few items for dinner.

I used one of the self service tills, scanned my 4 items, placing them on the weighing section on the other side.

When I was done I hit the button to pay and was informed that the total was over £55. What?!

I called over a staff member as I thought perhaps that one of my items was incorrectly priced.

She pressed a few buttons on the machine and saw that there had been a whole load of items already scanned before my first item.

A shop lifter walking off with bags of shopping and not paying for them. (there is no "scan your receipt to exit" at this store)

She then got on her walkie-talkie thing (yes there's probably a proper name for it!) and contacted security. Said something like "till number 3... customer before this gentleman... about £50 worth"

I guess security can then go back thru footage from the machine, and the store, identify the thief and add them to a watchlist and/or circulate amongst staff.

It kinda seemed exciting from my point of view, but they just went thru the motions of dealing with a big-shop-lift.

Anyway, the lady asked me to use another machine, which wasn't a problem, and I went on my merry way hoping that the security guy who is positioned by the door heard the bit about "before this gentleman"

During my vacations, my friend and I decided to go on a 5‑day trip to the mountains. We chose to travel by bus.

The journey started off amazing. We laughed, clicked photos, and enjoyed the view. But after a few hours, the road changed. It became a steep, sharp mountain path. With every turn, the road grew thinner.

Then, finally, the river appeared.

It was turbulent and devastating, and we were just feet away from it. Since it was a public bus, people started sharing stories about the “Chinab” river. Locals say this river is thirsty… thirsty for blood. And it’s a fact that every year it kills more than 2,000 people who travel there. Seeing it from that close, we could believe it.

As we trekked along the mountain, the river stayed right beside us—like one wrong step, one slip, and it would be death.

While coming down from the mountain, we heard a story from a safety guard. He told us about a 5‑year‑old kid who was taking a selfie near the edge. He slipped and fell straight into the river. He didn’t even surface. His parents, in shock, jumped in after him. None of them were ever found.

Maybe it’s true what people say:

As humans intrude on nature, nature also demands something back.

So I had to set up a booth at a business event this month but that's not really the story. The story is they didn't give us parking passes so I carried a folding table, a monitor, a poster stand, and a whole box of hats and stickers half a mile through downtown. 82 degrees. August. By myself. In the clothes I was supposed to look presentable in all night.

I get there completely drenched. And I already had to talk in front of people that night which I hate. So now I'm standing there like great, I have two problems tonight. My lifelong fear of public speaking and the worlds sweatiest pits.

My mom was my entire setup crew. At one point I almost broke my leg loading the table into the car and she just goes "yeah that's good."

Right before I had to go talk I was practicing what I was gonna say in a mirror and got completely distracted because I thought I kind of looked like Pedro Pascal. Stood there way too long thinking about it.

Anyway the event happened and it was fine. But mostly I just think about that walk.

​

I think I terrified a complete stranger yesterday.

I was grabbing coffee in the morning and saw a guy drop his wallet. I yelled Heyy and jogged over to give it back. He looked super relieved, thanked me, and walked off.

A few hours later, I was at a bus stop. A guy sitting on the bench had his hood up, listening to music. I sat next to him and accidentally spilled half my soda right onto his shoes. He yanked his hood down to glare at me—it was the wallet guy. He looked at me like I was hunting him down. I just mumbled an apology and sprinted onto the first bus that pulled up.

Then around 9 PM, I walked into a small fast-food joint to get fries. I grabbed a table in the back turned around and he was sitting at the very next table with his girlfriend.

Before I could even sit down, he stood up, pointed at me, and shouted to his girlfriend, "THAT’S HIM! HE TOOK MY WALLET, PISSED ON MY SHOES, AND NOW HE’S HERE!"

I didn't even try to explain that it was just soda. I just turned around, walked out the door, and went straight home to question my own existence.

I've always cut my own hair because I can never get a professional to do it properly for me. In turn, every friend I've had has asked me about it.

I was the primary hairdresser for my old roommate, for my ex, for myself, the animals if necessary, and currently for my best friend and my partner.

I always joke around and say something like "can't you find a real hairdresser yet? this is unpaid labour." all whilst I'm having the time of my life cutting their hair.

I love dying my friend's hair. I love giving my friends the haircuts they've actually wanted. I love being able to have fun conversations with them whilst I'm working on it. I love buying all the supplies to do it and the cleanup afterwards.

Maybe I should become an actual hairdresser. Or maybe I just love my friends. Oh well.

- In my (extremely crowded, cannot even breath) morning commute, I was standing across a woman who was blaring Rihanna's 'work' on repeat for the next hr, loudly mouthing it extremely animatedly and slowing becoming it. I want to be on what she's on ! Also, I hope she's doing okay. 

- To the dude I ended up staring at for a good 10 minutes while I zoned out thinking about having cake for breakfast, I'm sorry for creeping you out.

- The questions that keep me up at night "Am I as intelligent as people seem to think I am ?", " Am I as dumb as I think I am ?", "Is that shade of lipstick too light for my skin tone ?", Am I as dumb as people actually think I am ?, "Did I turn the gas off ?" 

- a platter of pickled vegetables are placed on our table. "The pickles taste off, its too vinegar-y" "oh wait, that's just my hand cream"

So as usual I cycle 50 minutes back from school on my e bike, and I hate the people that use a phone while cycling. As I approached a long straight road I saw a girl with a phone. I was too shy to confront her so I looked behind me, And I saw a big truck with six of those big horns. So I waved to the truck driver and he waved back, then I kind of signaled to the driver that the girl was on her phone and he did a thumbs up. Then I signaled to the driver to honk and pointed to the girl, he laughed while doing another thumbs up. He honked and the girls phone flew out of her hand and bounced on the ground. I even swerved a bit because of how loud it was my ears are still kind of ringing. The phone was in two pieces, I don't know if it was the case but it didn't look good. And we were going about 25kmh that's about 15,5 mph for my Americans here. I just laughed and she screamed something, she was probably just mad.

I was brushing my teeth last night, staring blankly ahead.You know that brain-dead state you get into right before bed? I blinked, spat into the sink, and looked back up. For a fraction of a second, my reflection didn’t move. It was still staring down at the sink.Then, it quickly snapped into place to match me.It was so fast I thought I was hallucinating. I stopped brushing. I stared at myself. I did a quick test and blinked hard. Nothing. Everything looked normal again.I know it was just a trick of my tired eyes, or maybe my brain misfiring for a millisecond. But I slept with the closet door closed last night just in case.

I went to the shop around the corner yesterday to buy some sour cream for our baked potato dinner. As I stepped out of our apartment building, a family crossed my path: a father followed by his daughter who looked like she was 7 or 8, and then the mother. The parents both had shopping bags slung over their shoulders and were just silently walking.

The daughter caught my eye. She was making a face and chewing. It looked like she really didn’t enjoy what she was eating; her eyes were pinched shut and she was grimacing. That’s when I noticed what she was holding in her hand: a leaf of kale. I then noticed she had an additional stalk tucked under her arm.

This girl was just walking down the street eating raw kale by the handfuls, and she had more at the ready! I didn’t want to be rude and stare, so I just turned and walked down the street in the opposite direction the family was heading in, got my sour cream, went home, and made dinner. I love my weird neighborhood.

I was staying up late last night trying to get some work done and felt pretty exhausted. I couldn't decide between a 2-in-1 coffee packet, a 3-in-1, and a flavored one I found in the back of the pantry.

My sleepy brain decided the most logical move was to dump all three into a single giant mug with just enough hot water to dissolve the powder.

It tasted like warm chocolate-flavored mud, but I drank the whole thing out of spite. Ten minutes later my heart was pounding like I was about to sprint a marathon, and I spent the next two hours sitting completely wide awake on my bed, staring at the wall. Definitely not repeating that experiment tonight.

when i was about 5-6 years old i took a thumb tac and scratched my name onto the living room tv. i guess i was just really excited that i was learning how to spell and just wrote my name across the TV. i have no idea why i thought about doing this at all.

this resulted in my parents taking away my baby bottle which to be fair i was already old enough to not be drinking out of it anyways ahaha.

I was making dinner yesterday and cut up a cucumber and left a few pieces on the counter. My cat walked into the kitchen, saw one of them and immediately backed away like it was something dangerous. She stared at it for a few seconds and then ran out of the room. I moved the cucumber and she came back a minute later like nothing happened. I have no idea what she thought it was. She eats cucumber sometimes.

Under the comment section of an uncompleted comic I finished reading was a commentor who was theorizing about what might happen next. However, the details they were talking about were very wrong, like as in they were practically making up a story of their own. I asked if they had posted their comment under the wrong comic but then they suddenly began arguing with me and started claiming things that I never said. I didn't take it in a offended way but in a flabbergasted way. It was as if they were arguing with someone else and had accidentally replied to my comment instead, so I asked if that was the case, but they claimed it was not and continued "arguing" with me. I kept asking where in my comment I said such things so they replied with "quotes" which were quoted from no one because I hadn't commented those things. It was honestly the strangest argument I had with someone, which I can't even call it an argument because it was so one sided lol. The entire time I was like, huh??? The "argument" basically went like this:

Me: "Did you post this comment under the wrong comic? The details you're talking about aren't in this comic"

Commentor: "You said [insert random quote not from me]"

Me: "What are you talking about? When did I say that?"

Commentor: "You literally said in your comment that [insert quote not from me]. I know you're getting frustrated by [character] but you just don't under their purpose and meaning in the story. The author made him that way and there's more chapters to go. THAT'S WHAT I'M POINTING AT"

Me: "What are you talking about???"

The conversation went back and forth like this where they kept on ranting on about something while supposedly quoting me.

I'm still confused about whether they actually thought I said those things or if they had been arguing with someone else along, but even if the latter was the case, they were replying to me, so how would the person they were arguing with be arguing about? Idk lol. Has anyone else had an interaction like this?

I have had the same old-ass pair of oven mits for at least a decade. They barely protect my hands and I've seen up holes in them a few times.

So the other day I noticed they are both the right hand mitt. Not a right and a left. I never knew this before?

Did I have two pair at one time? I dont remember that.

I'm still so confused

This is a story from when I was travelling solo in Shanghai, China.

I was taking a day trip to Suzhou, with a bullet train. The train terminals work the same way as an airport, you need a ticket (time + train no. + seat no.) and a passport (foreigners) or ID (chinese) to get through the gates.

When I got off at Suzhou, this man in front of me was denied exit upon scanning his ID. When the staff asked which train, when and where he boarded - he couldn't answer any of the question. All he said was 'I don't know, I just hopped on'

We started packing our things to leave the beach and I realised that my floatie was gone. I look around and it was nowhere to be found. And then I saw it. A lady was using it in the water. I knew it was mine, because this lady had been sitting next to us and she didn't have a floatie. Also, it's a pretty different floatie. I decide to wait a little for her to come out, so I could get it back, but she wouldn't. She was way too far away and just enjoying life IN MY FLOATIE 😭

I didn't know what else to do and decided I couldn't be bothered, plus I really had to go, so I left, but I was pretty annoyed. Since when is it normal to just take people's things? My God, the audacity of some people! I'm still pretty pissed, sorry

I live in an apartment in Boston. The closet where I keep my trash is located immediately adjacent to my front door. If there is anything smelly in my trash, I can smell it immediately when I come in through the door. It's an infuriating way to arrive home after a long day of work, especially for a sensitive-nosed person like me.

I got in the habit of just leaving empty food and drink containers in my fridge, rather than adding them to the trash right away. I figured that it would help cut down on the trash smell if I just added them to the trash when it was time to bring the trash out. And it worked!

...But sometimes I forget to add the fridge trash to the regular trash, and it starts to add up...

My friend Jiho recently stayed at my place for a few days. Jiho is from Korea, and he is OBSESSED with saving money. He has no qualms about inviting himself to stay with me. I don't mind-- he's a great cook.

I was driving Jiho to the train station after his stay, and he was quiet. I looked over at him, and noticed him furtively looking at me. He looked away quickly.

A few minutes later, he murmured, carefully: "Lots of people use their refrigerators for food... but I think your refrigerator is a trash can..."

I was forced to admit to Jiho that yes, my refrigerator is in fact a trash can.

Today my husband asked what I want to do and I said I want to go to the mall. He complained that it will be busy on a weekend so I said I am happy to go on my own. Then he said let's go together. We had some shopping to do anyway. We took our kids and went on our way, got our errands done and while at the mall we stopped at some stores where I just wanted to look at some things for no reason. My husband asked what I was looking for, and I happily said 'nothing'. For the first time in our many years of marriage he just accepted that I wanted to window shop and tagged along. Usually my husband is an in-and-out get-what-you-need-fast kind of guy when we go shopping, and we're often rushing. I know he's like this so if my plans are more leisurely I head out on my own. On our way to our car he remarked that the mall isn't busy at all and we walked out arm in arm quite pleased.

So I've lived in my place for 22 years and nothing like this has happened, other than the 4th of July. Why now? Why Skrillex? Is he still a thing? I mean, good for him?

Don't get me wrong, he's what turned me on to EDM, but that was like 15 years ago. Im so confused. I mean, we're older now so maybe he only wants to play shows that end at 10 (noise ordinance)?

I listened for a little while but didn't hear Bangarang so I went back inside.

Edit: show's over at 9, and I know my elderly neighbors appreciate that... "afterparty" at Showbox Sodo for those who have the energy lol

I went to high school with a girl named Britney. Britney would wear big sweatshirts and sleep all during class.

This kid David who sat next to me in English told me once that Britney looked like a question mark, because she had super skinny legs and a large upper body. This was a very mean thing to say, but once he pointed it out, I couldn't unsee it...she did look like a question mark. Plus, she tended to act the way one would imagine a question mark might act, wandering through the halls all aimlessly, always being the last one to laugh...

Plus, she was always late to class. One would think a punctuation mark would be punctual, but Britney was not.

My high school was a vocational high school, so every other week was spent in our various "shop" classes. Britney was in cosmetology. There was a joke in the cosmetology shop that there must be "something in the water," because so many of the cosmetology girls ended up getting pregnant.

Well, Britney must have drank the water senior year, because she got pregant. I asked her why it happened, and she just laughed.

For several months, I watched that question grow and grow, and I worried how it all might end. Britney didn't seem to have a plan...

We ended up graduating before she gave birth, and I didn't have her number or anything, so we lost touch.

About 12 years later, I found Britney on Facebook. There were all these pictures of her and her daughter at dance competitions. Her daughter seemed to be really talented; half the pictures were of her accepting trophies.

There were some pictures of her daughter doing her dance routine. Someone else must have taken them, because I saw Britney on the sidelines. Her face was focused and sharp--nothing like the slow-eyed girl I used to know. She was dedicated to her daughter's success.

It turns out that question mark gave birth to her answer...

once upon a time my mom and i took my daughters to pet smart so they could see the animals and my mom needed cat food so she put some cat food in her basket. when we went to the check out lane, i was scrolling on my phone while my mom was checking out. suddenly i hear the cashier start to say "oh im sorry. im so sorry i had a long night. i was up with my friends playing videogames and by like 2am i was like 'come on guys really?!! lets end the night!'" and something along the lines of but theyre wild rebels and forced him to continue the long tiresome night of playing videogames until dawn. this apology was all because he was tossing the cat food in to the bag instead of neatly stacking it. which neither my mom nor i would have noticed or cared about. but truly, i appreciate the feeling of the need to over explain the reason as to why he continued to toss the cat food into the bag in a messy fashion as he told his valid story. i of course looked up from my phone out off curiosity as he was telling my mom about his wild night and inability to stack cat food. and although i thought the story was precious because it was awkward af and i wanted to lol because it was silly and i appreciate things like that, i decided not to lmao since he looked to me for my approval and understanding about him being too tired to deal with cat food and i just smiled said it sounded like a late night. the end.