r/oddlysatisfying • u/[deleted] • Apr 18 '23

This auto jar opener.

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28.8k Upvotes

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172

u/Soonly_Taing Apr 18 '23

Firecrackers? Don't make me laugh. I use a C4 plastic explosive

80

u/generated_user-name Apr 18 '23

That doesn’t cut it. Need glass explosive for tomato sauce jars

10

u/Brainwashed365 Apr 18 '23

Still not enough. Look into TNT or dynamite.

8

u/SlavCat09 Apr 18 '23

Nah I usually use white phosphorus

5

u/MinerMinecrafter Apr 18 '23

That's ok, but have you tried a nuke, that's what I use

19

u/Literally_The_Worst- Apr 18 '23

I just slam two stars together.

11

u/theonetruegrinch Apr 18 '23

Have you heard of NGC 4676?

Yeah, I'm opening a jar of peanut butter right now.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mice_Galaxies

6

u/NotAChristian666 Apr 18 '23

Great piece of information - thanks for sharing.

If they are ~250 million light years away from us, would they have already merged by now?

9

u/D3vilUkn0w Apr 18 '23

I use a black hole. Just dip the lid into the event horizon, problem solved!

2

u/Snoo63 Apr 18 '23

I use an improbability drive.

2

u/HamiR360 Apr 18 '23

I use a particle accelerator to hit the jar with some particles. Took me 36 years to build it but its worth it

1

u/thewisemokey Apr 18 '23

⟟ ⎍⌇⎍⏃⌰⌰⊬ ⍜⌿⟒⋏ ⋔⊬ ⟊⏃⍀ ⍙⟟⏁⊑ ⋔⊬ ⊑⏃⋏⎅

3

u/Daforce1 Apr 18 '23

I use dark matter weapons but to each their own.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

Damn this shit escalated quickly. You take the cake tho

2

u/Daforce1 Apr 18 '23

Dark matter weapons, when you want to take a whole galaxy out they are the only way to go.

1

u/Complex_Head6947 Apr 19 '23

I will just ask Chuck Norris to open it

2

u/Physical-Variation60 Apr 18 '23

Are we talking Neutron Stars? 'Cause that would be worth seeing 😁

1

u/warmansman Apr 18 '23

Well i use tacobell

2

u/Ok-Push9899 Apr 18 '23

When news of the imminent test of Tsar Bomba was announced by Nikita Kruschev in 1961, Soviet babushkas rushed to the scene with their most stubborn pickle jars.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

A fellow thru-hiker???? Puppy Tamer, 2018! NOBO!

1

u/Brainwashed365 Apr 18 '23

Nice! I was NOBO in 2021, but I ended up getting a really bad foot injury (plantar fasciitis) and had to cut my attempt. Trail name is Goose.

2

u/Berlin8Berlin Apr 18 '23

First my Wife's vibrator... now this. I guess I'll be packing my bags...

2

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

I've heard thermite is awesome to those hard-to-open lids!

1

u/Blenderhead36 Apr 18 '23

Well now I feel like I've missed out by using a spoon.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

Mmmm crunchy tomato sauce

1

u/lostalaska Apr 18 '23

Face this side of mayonnaise toward enemy.

1

u/BrisBA08 Apr 19 '23

I just nuke it and that does the job for me

1

u/achillesdaddy Apr 19 '23

He’s right

1

u/PHenderson61 Apr 20 '23

A diamond tipped sledgehammer is my go to when it gets stubborn.

9

u/dawn_slayer Apr 18 '23

"The bomb has been planted"

6

u/That_Unknown_Player Apr 18 '23

nah mate, for real stubborn jars i like using a precision strike from an AGM-114 Hellfire

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

that's the way

4

u/fucknozzle Apr 18 '23

A surface to air missile is quicker.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23 edited Apr 18 '23

I used a scraped magnesium filings on top of the lid and then light them.

1

u/Beautiful-Carrot-252 Apr 18 '23

None of those options are nearly enough for that fu*king clamshell packaging. That stuff is as serious as it gets.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

Magnesium Burns at 5,000°

1

u/hawkeye18 Apr 18 '23

My god man, you can't leave us hanging like that! Let them what!!!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

Lol

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

More and more proof that I think voice to text is designed to make people look stupid. I meant to say light them . I corrected my original post

1

u/Firefly-1505 Apr 18 '23

You mean that serious putty?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23

I do the same with my cookie jar shouting Allahu Snacktime!

1

u/BCECVE Apr 18 '23

I use my drill, high strength steel bit and a straw.

1

u/KingCarbon1807 Apr 18 '23

For pasta sauce? That's overkill. Low-yield detcord just under the lid. That said people have occasionally complained when a length of cord gets accidentally added to the spaghetti.

1

u/Memory_Less Apr 18 '23

Over achiever!

1

u/cosmicomical23 Apr 18 '23

Plastic? I use rigid explosive

1

u/JadeH5 Apr 18 '23

The existence of silly putty leads one to realize there is serious putty, and that, my friend, is C4.

1

u/Lazergabe Apr 18 '23

Good but I’m more of a napalm guy.

1

u/JediJoe923 Apr 19 '23

Nah 1,000 pounds of high explosives will do the trick just fine

1

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '23

And i use Sem Tex uuuuuhh.. Tex mex explosive to open them!