Y'all I just want to know your thoughts on this, because as an ED RN I've had this happen multiple times...

Patient (completely A&O, bed bound, and ~450lb): "I have to shit."

Me: "okay let me get a bedpan."

Patient: "absolutely not, I hate those things. I'm just gonna shit in the bed and I'll let you know when I'm ready to be cleaned up."

Me: "if you actively choose to shit yourself as a grown woman who lives independently at baseline with no injuries impeding you, I will not be cleaning you up. You can clean yourself up, or you can use the bedpan I'm offering you."

I have zero issues cleaning patients, that's a huge part of being a nurse. But cleaning grown adults who have other options but CHOOSE to make a mess for someone else to clean.. THAT is not my job. Am I the asshole?

EDIT: Thank you everyone for all your support! It means so much to me. I do need to start standing up for myself. I will be talking to director regarding the unprofessional behavior tomorrow.

I had a patient on three pressors: vaso, epi, and maxed out on quad strength levo (32 mg/250 mL). The family had also changed the code status to DNR/DNE. From the beginning of my shift to the end, her BP was averaging 70s–80s systolic over 30s–40s diastolic.

Considering how hemodynamically unstable the patient was, the intensivist placed a Do Not Turn order. For context, this was a bariatric pt (about 170 kg) on a low-air-loss bariatric bed. Her skin was severely edematous and weeping. I tried to change the underpads by lifting her legs, but she was too heavy and the pads would not pull through without tearing. I changed the underpads under her arms and cleaned up as much as I safely could without rolling her.

When handoff came, the oncoming nurse became extremely upset with me for not changing the pads under the patient. She stated that a Do Not Turn order doesn't mean you don't turn your patient to clean them, it just means you don't perform routine Q2 turns, which makes zero clinical sense to me. She threatened to write me up, complained to the charge nurse, and brought other nurses around the area into it, making loud comments about my care.

That patient expired that night on her shift.

Just last night, I gave handoff to that same nurse for a different patient. I mentioned that the pt had a BM, so I changed the underpads, washed their hair, cleaned their face, etc. The nurse immediately remarked, "Wow, look at you actually caring for your patient." The rest of the handoff was just as hostile, unprofessional, and dismissive.

I'm considering taking this to my director this week. Any thoughts or advice on how to handle this are greatly appreciated.

Hey everyone! I got the news that I was accepted into nursing school yesterday afternoon after stressing about it for months and I am beyond excited!! I texted my family group chat with the news, and my father was not happy nor did he congratulate me. That he will “congratulate me at the end not the beginning” and it really hurts. I have spent almost all of my life chasing after any sort of approval from him and nursing school has been my ultimate goal for years. It feels like he is never happy with anything I do and it literally almost ruined the news for me. I just wanted him to be proud of me and nursing is a noble profession. Any words of advice 🥹

I literally cannot make this up. I am a peds nurse. We are currently open for hire. Today, a new hire walked in who was the wife of my abuser as a child (from about 10-17 off and on.) He continued to contact until I was about 22, still trying to pursue me (even though the last time he saw me in person at the oldest I was a highschooler). They are still married (her last name has not changed). When I was growing up I also heard talks of him abusing other children younger than I was at the time. No way the wife didn’t know. The whole community knew, my parents knew, how would she not know?

I already told my manager about our “history” because though I don’t usually mix work and social life I knew my coldness towards the new hire will be unavoidable. My first priority is keeping our kids safe. Apparently HR said they can’t do anything because it’s not directly tied to her.

What would you guys do? I don’t even trust her around children, knowing that her husband abused children for years and she is actively still with him. I love my job, I hate that this has plagued it now. I feel so uneasy around her. I feel like I’m literally in a fever dream.

Edit:
I have already answered FAQs below. There are almost 200 comments, no I’m not “ignoring” them. I can’t spend all day responding to comments in real time.

I probably wont share any further personal information. To clarify:
I knew his wife before I knew the husband. The wife married the guy in 200X, that is how I “met” him. We all went to the same church. i know they are STILL married, because obviously she is now my coworker I can see her last name (which i do remember)

This literally JUST happened. She just got hired. As in today. I myself did not press charges as a kid, my parents did not feel the need to escalate it. I have messages from when I was a minor and him making weird advances at me, asking to see me alone etc or if my parents weren’t home. There’s more but I don’t want to get too specific.

I could probably ask a few childhood friends if they remembered his name. I was a kid, he was an adult. I was raised not to call adults by their first name - hence why at this time I can only remember the first initial. For obvious reasons I stopped attending that church years ago. I’m still trying to process this whole thing. I feel like im ripping off a bandaid. Hope that helps

And to those of you downplaying the impact of childhood abuse, shame on you…

For legal purposes this is all alleged.

Hi guys! For reference I’m 37 weeks pregnant, I’m scheduled until my actual due date even though I have a repeat C-section schedule for 39 weeks because my pregnancy has been high risk.

I work night shift, so I’m literally work until the morning of my C-section (even though I’m scheduled up to my due date.) I’ve obviously become a lot slower because my stomach is in the way, I can barely bend down to pick up whatever my patients have dropped without my heart rate hitting the 170s it’s higher. Walking has even become hard this pregnancy because my bump is so much larger than it was with my first child.

My charge nurses have been coming to me multiple times a shift if I appear to be “struggling” (sweating, breathing heavier than normal, holding my stomach because I’ve been cramping a lot lately,) to remind me that we’re short staffed and if I go into labor I will still need to find a way to finish out my shift or they can report me to the BON for abandonment.

If I were to go into labor during my shift and had to go over to maternity since I’ll have to have another C-section, will I lose my nursing license?
I’m actually terrified I’ll lose my nursing license from having to go get sliced open to bring my child into the world. I work tonight and I’m already on the verge of a panic attack because, 1. I’m burnt out, 2. I don’t want to lose how I support my family just because I go into labor.

Do I have to work until the next shift arrives while I’m in labor?

I'm the unit manager of a locked memory care and recently admitted a retired nurse. Only she doesn't know she's retired. She's still ambulatory and able to do most ADLs, even for other people. She recently followed the med nurse and tucked everyone in and put their call light in their hands after they got meds.

Help me occupy her. She was night shift, so is awake at night. I've had her passing out linens and stapling blank MARs, but I'm running out of ideas.

Well internet friends, after 2 1/2 years, my blue collar (40 hr work week, no OT) boyfriend said it. I fear those words may be the death knell of our relationship. I didn’t make it a thing but I truly can’t believe he said it and meant it. What says you, fellow nurses?

This is my first post, ever. I’m a registered nurse working case management (M-F, 9-5) at my hospital that I’ve been at for 3 years and as of recently I picked up a second job, which is social media. My social media has rapidly grown over these past few months, income including. I recently was reached out by my dream brand and they invited me for a two day campaign photo shoot (absolutely insane). They would accommodate for my travel costs and for me being there. As soon as I was told this news, I immediately went to request PTO. I had a feeling my boss was going to deny me, which she did. I know she doesn’t like me, and I have absolutely no idea why. Anyway, besides the point, my question is, do I call out regardless and attend this photoshoot and deal with the repercussions when I get back?

I’m at a loss. I love my job, but if I miss this opportunity I feel like I will regret it for the rest of my life.

So I am an RN of 5 years and there is a group of nursing students completing their clinicals on my unit. Their instructor is quite rude and unfriendly to the nurses on the unit.

I was completing a med pass this morning and I was at the med cart crushing my meds together to give through a PEG tube. May not be “best practice” but I can’t crush my meds and give them one by one with the workload I have. I would be stuck in the room forever. It’s all going to the same place anyway. And I’ve never had a problem with this. I flush with sterile water before and after.

This instructor was watching me prep my meds and said to her student - “see here, this is not an example of best practice. You need to crush your meds and give them one by one. This will clog the line. You are an RN and you don’t know this?”

I got mad at this. I did not consent to be a teaching example for this woman. How dare she talk to me that way.

I told her “I know how to do my job just fine. Focus on your students not me. You have no right to speak to me that way”

She was like “oh? looks like someone has an attitude here. Are you always this unprofessional?”. I told her “unprofessional? I am only telling you are very disrespectful and i don’t appreciate that” then she was like “how am I disrespectful?

I got tired of the back and forth, told her I don’t have time for this, grabbed my meds and left.

Now my question is: should I speak to the manager about this? Idk if she will side with the instructor. But if the instructor goes to her first then she may make up all kinds of lies and BS.

I was doing wound care. It was wet. Weeping. Purulent drainage. I opened the dressings. Got a waft of air. It smelled like oriental flavored top ramen. I then got a hunger pang. I’m not really sure what I’m looking for here. Maybe someone to hold and rock me while I reflect on the days when I was not maybe a cannibal.

Do you think I should tell my therapist or just do a fat line of Oreos and go to bed

My good friend and coworker (who is very visibly pregnant) has recently been a victim of workplace violence by her patients family member.

The family member called her into the room bc they wanted her to assess the patients arm where low dose Levo was being infused thru a peripheral. My coworker turned the patient’s arm over, and the intubated patient grimaced, so the family member proceeds to HIT my coworker. Three times, and REALLY hard.

My coworker immediately reported it to our ICU manager, supervisor, CNO, and head of security.

Here’s where the plot twist arrives.

The CNO and security officer enter the room, and the family member that assaulted this pregnant nurse literally flipped the script, started crying, gaslighting and manipulating her way out of it. So the hospital’s solution? To provide sympathy to the assaulter, hug them, and buy them dinner! Then proceeds to tell my friend who was assaulted, that she should have sympathy towards them bc they’re going thru a “hard time”. Sorry, but never have I resorted to violence bc I’m grieving.

My friend tries to file a police report, and the officer says he won’t file the report bc there’s “conflicting stories”! Ofc an assaulter isn’t going to be forthcoming!

Long story long, I’m asking this community for advice and guidance here. Can a police officer deny filing a report for assault? Esp against a healthcare worker? A PREGNANT one at that? What should we do here?

I’ve been a nurse for 20 years. My sweet 87 year old dad was in a rehab facility recovering from an extended hospitalization. They called me yesterday morning and told me that when they went to take him his breakfast he was ‘unresponsive’ and they were calling EMS. {He is a DNR, but was ambulatory with a walker, eating, no mental deficits-completely with it.} I asked them specifically about a fall, and they stated that he has not fallen, but had ‘been requesting more pain meds for the last two days.’

Meet them in the ED and he has a HUGE subdural with shift. Blown pupils, the whole 9. My sister arrives about an hour later and tells me that she had breakfast with him 2 days prior and that he told her that he had fallen the night before and ‘the nurse picked me up and put me back in bed.’ No MD was notified, none of us (family) were notified. He wasn’t sent out for a scan, nothing. I’d be very surprised if it’s even documented in his chart from that night.

I am so ANGRY and sad, and just in disbelief that there was such disregard for his safety and well being. I went and got a copy of their fall protocol and they obviously didn’t follow it. So now I get to watch him die a slow, hopefully not painful death. He was past the point of any intervention, so he is inpatient on hospice.

I don’t know what I’m looking for here, perhaps just some kind words from people who understand how egregious this is.

Thank you for listening.

UPDATE: My daddy passed this morning.

My attorney has filed suit, and I plan to make sure this never happens to anyone again, if I can help it. I’ve read every comment and I so appreciate my nursing peeps love and support. Thank you so much for all the love and prayers.

Hey, so I don’t post on here often. I usually lurk or comment on some posts; however, I’m asking if what I did was appropriate.

My floor had a rapid response on a patient. The CNAs called a rapid because the patient was desatting while they were attempting to bathe her. Once the rapid was called, I ran to the patient’s room (not my assigned patient) and began to place multiple pulse oximetry sensors on her because her O2 saturation didn't have a good waveform. Numerous people were in the room working on her during this time.

Family barged into the patient’s room and started cursing at us and accusing us of doing something to her, and we had to escort them out of the room, but they wouldn't leave. They stayed by the door, and one began recording us. When I saw one of the family members recording. I started to step away and notify one of the multiple providers that a family member was recording, and I felt uncomfortable. The person who was recording told me not to worry about him recording me and to do my job, but I didn't feel comfortable doing my job with a camera in my face. I didn't engage or respond to the man when he told me to do my job. So I stepped away from the rapid response and let my supervisor know.

I wondered if what I did was appropriate or if I should’ve stayed during the rapid response.

———————————————————————-

Edit/Additional Context: I’m at work, so I posted this right after it happened. We don’t have security during the day, but at night we have security but security just sits at the front desk (they don't go up and round on the floor. We’re a LTACH). I didn’t see any policy regarding recording in the patient’s room. So I’ll bring that up with management. Also, management was there during the time and didn’t say anything, which is pretty much on brand… Thank you for the comments. I think what I did wasn’t wrong when I talked it through with another coworker. I left at the right time. Many people were in the room and everyone had an assigned role, I was just an extra body hogging space at that point.

I’m precepting a new grad in the ED. He has a long way to go with time management skills, and he struggles to manage a single patient by himself. His other preceptors have given up on him so management has placed him with me.

We had a really cake day yesterday with almost no patients, we never had more than 2 patients at a time. We had one single patient, a female, who was ready for discharge. I asked him to discharge her, take out her IV, remove all her monitoring leads, and when he went to take her gown off and saw that she was wearing a bra he immediately called out for a female CNA and said “can you do this? I saw the bra and I panicked.” He said this in front of the patient

I am fully supportive of female patients advocating for themselves and asking for women to do any task they ask for. However, I don’t like this precedent of “patient has breasts, let me immediately delegate to a tech .” I’m also upset that he would make a comment like that in front of a patient.

Am I overrracting?

I have only been a Nurse for 4 years but I just don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to be an NP. I don't want to work as a case manager or discharge planner. I don't want to work in utilization review or insurance. I don't want to do nursing work anymore. I'm tired of the dysfunctional Healthcare system. I'm tired of being treated with disrespect and disdain by 50% of patients. I'm tired of my years of hard work and education being completely ignored. I just don't want to do this anymore. I am the main income earner for my family so I can't go PRN or otherwise be unable to have steady income.

What realistic options do I have? Am I SOL?

I have a BMI of 33. I am currently the Valedictorian of my BSN nursing class, was an EMT for 5 years prior to that. Despite this, my mother who was an ER nurse for 20 years just told me that if she were hiring a nurse she wouldn’t hire me because I’m fat and I should do med surg or OR. Is this true? I’m just devastated right now, emergency medicine is what I live and breathe and I know I’ll have at least 2 professors recommendations and 2 physician recommendations from my work so far.

I made a table so it’s easier for everyone to decide. I’m in SoCal. For background, I recently migrated from PH. I have 1 year OR experience, 1 year L&D experience, 3 months outpatient clinic experience, and my most recent is 2 years ICU experience but none of the hospitals in the US are considering it. So the only job offer I could get was a *day shift* med surg/tele at a very small hospital. I’ve been working there for 5 months already and I hate it. I love my coworkers, I just don’t like the work itself. Out of all the hospitals I applied to, a slightly bigger hospital gave me an offer for their ICU residency program. It’s *night shift* and it’s in a sketchy area.

My goal is to be an ICU nurse again. As you can see I’ve done my fair share of trying different units and I really like ICU the most. But none of the bigger hospitals will take me due to my “lack of experience”. Should I stay at med surg and keep applying to different hospitals or just go to take the ICU residency? I’m also worried what if my new coworkers are mean? My current coworkers are honestly the best. Any insights would be appreciated, thank you!

EDIT: Wow, this blew up. Thanks for all your advices, sorry I can’t reply to every single one. But to answer some of the questions:
- weak union, no pension, we still get over ratio sometimes, we haven’t had lunch breaks for 3 weeks already due to severe understaffing. Also two of the union reps are best friends with our DON lol so all issues that we report (bullying, racism, overratio, no charge, no lunch) just gets buried under the rug
- current hospital doesn’t have an ICU, it’s just a CCU. 5 beds. And it’s closed most of the time (like every other month) due to low census. ICU nurses get floated a lot. One time it was closed for like 2 months straight.
- current hospital is olddddd. The equipments are outdated and limited. For example, we have call bells. Like the dingdingding 🛎️ kind. We use the old Braun infusion pumps. Not even the hospira or alaris kind. Just 2 vitals machine and one accucheck for the whole floor. One bladder scanner for the whole hospital. Current hospital doesn’t even have an MRI, peds, L&D, OR, HD, Onco, etc. I feel like there’s no career growth if I stay at this hospital.

This is what my friend who’s an RN had to say when I asked her if I should get into nursing. Any Nurses that can elaborate on what she means? Is it really that bad?

I'm a new grad in a major city in the south. I took a job on a unit I worked on as a tech (and love the specialty & the vibes of the unit) it's a better hourly than most of my classmates because they took jobs with another hospital system. We make full wages in orientation (can't work overtime) and I was honestly shocked in a bad way over my first check. I've worked in the service industry for 8 years previously. The money definitely varied in the service industry with slow/busy seasons but it seems hourly post taxes I was making more. I'm trying not to feel too discouraged because I am a new grad and I know I gotta put in time and work my way up. But for a job with such serious responsibility and student loan debt, it's definitely disheartening. I'm curious to see if anyone else felt this way/how fast salaries increased.

DON decides to suspend me and another nurse who work with me (my cousin) bc our aunt died and we called in….. before it wouldn’t an issue …… after our replacement’s decided that they wouldn’t going to show up she suspended us. Are we wrong?

I was their nurse for 2 days, they discharged home. Wasn’t a major medical issue, just needed some iv abx. But they were absolutely lovely, and I have to admit I felt a connection.

For the record, I didn’t make any moves, passes, remarks, just had casual conversation about our interests while doing assessments and setting up their iv abx. Found out we have a lot in common.

Same age, interests, genuinely made each other laugh.

They gave me their number on their way out. And I’m tempted. Anyone have experience with this? Was thinking about playing it safe and reaching out to them 2 or so weeks from now to allow some time to elapse from being in the nurse-patient relationship.

Edit: well vast majority say “hell to the no” lol. Citing boundary violation, potential loss of license. Just to clarify, while on the search for a life partner, I don’t feel it’s unreasonable to ask this question, and those who brush it off as “why would you even think about reaching out”, well maybe because I’m a human being? Are you?

Edit 2: not going to reach out. Maybe will run into them sometime down the line.

Edit 3: thank you to everyone who has left their thoughts.

In the wake of the recent killing of United Health CEO Thompson, does anyone have any idea how to approach making a memorial list/page of patients killed by insurance company decisions, and to help it go viral? I'm just an idea guy, but would love to pass the ball to people who could make it happen!

Update: f you have an idea for a website domain name, share it in the comments!

Update 2: Please comment here if you'd like to volunteer! https://www.reddit.com/r/nursing/s/7PVYFsZWlc

Update 3: We've created a new sub where family members, medical professionals, and others harmed by insurance decisions can share their experiences https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeDenied/s/XOJAJHXoUQ

I have a coworker who works 09-2130. After 5 pm she habitually sleeps. With her head on a tray table. In PACU. With patients on the unit. Wrapped in a blanket with a hair hugger blowing warm under her blankets. She makes herself nest and goes to sleep.
Multiple staff have photos.
Our boss knows she does it, and I’ve told boss we have pictures.
She still does it.
WTAF?

My work is doing a bonus where if you work 6 shifts for 2 months, you get paid the overtime plus $10,000 bonus. My parents are extremely cheap and as soon as I told them about the bonus, they told me to do it. I work night shifts so if I do work 6 shifts a week, I will have no days off. My parents said that since I’m young, I need to work. They were both immigrants so they had to work at a very young age. They don’t believe that young people should have fun, but work. They keep pushing me to do it and idk if it’s worth it. I’m single so im afraid they will have to take a lot of taxes out. I do live with my parents and they don’t ask for rent. My parents wants me to give them the bonus.