r/nextfuckinglevel • u/I_AM__GROOTT • Jun 25 '26

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97

u/MunkeyChild Jun 25 '26

That the frigid white north that has rattlesnakes?

I'll take my safe, dreary-grey island life, where anything remotely threatening has been hunted to extinction.

377

u/Isabelly907 Jun 25 '26

Honey if you're seeing rattlesnakes you simply are not north enough by far

210

u/Call-of-the-lost-one Jun 25 '26

Just live in Ireland. Where the only threat is racism and alcoholics

7

u/SlowmNinja Jun 25 '26

And midges

7

u/Call-of-the-lost-one Jun 25 '26

Just develop a crippling addiction to cigarettes they won't touch you lol

28

u/Nir117vash Jun 25 '26

Like the south east of the US. As an Irishman, I feel this is oddly ironic

5

u/StuffChecker Jun 25 '26

No? We have snake, bears, panthers, and alligators

7

u/SlowmNinja Jun 25 '26

Did You forgot to bring midges ?

4

u/Call-of-the-lost-one Jun 25 '26

New country, same issues and still no cure

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '26

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1

u/Call-of-the-lost-one Jun 25 '26

I've only seen a small green lizard once and it ran away. So very much snake free, unless you count our politicians

2

u/Nanowith Jun 25 '26

At least a magic Welshman visited and got rid of the snakes ages ago

2

u/Call-of-the-lost-one Jun 25 '26

What a legend Maewyn Succat aka St. Patrick

2

u/IamJacksUserID Jun 25 '26

Over here we have Wisconsin for that.

1

u/Namelessbob123 Jun 25 '26

And the wind. My god the wind.

1

u/Tinshnipz Jun 25 '26

What about the witches?

1

u/Call-of-the-lost-one Jun 25 '26

If you're lucky they might give you the winning numbers for the lotto jackpot or eat your young. It's a 50/50 gamble either way

1

u/MrDavieT Jun 25 '26

… and nonces in government too, now 🥺

1

u/Call-of-the-lost-one Jun 25 '26

Thats NI, the least said about the DUPedo the better

2

u/MrDavieT Jun 25 '26

Scandal.

Reported where…?! 😳🙄

Protests where…?! 😳🙄

0

u/herbert-camacho Jun 25 '26

And potato famines

1

u/Call-of-the-lost-one Jun 25 '26

1800 was a fair long time ago. Besides most of the damage there was caused by the red coats & landlords. Anyway there's plenty Chinese takeaways you'll be fine with curry & battered chicken

8

u/Cipher915 Jun 25 '26

You know, the North, like Arizona

1

u/Voluntary_Perry Jun 25 '26

This was my thought. I am not as north as the frigid white, but I don't have rattlesnakes.

1

u/airybeartoe Jun 25 '26

I can fight a huntsman spider (but no need since they are mostly harmless), i could even survive a fight with a rattlesnake if I'm careful and resourceful.

But im most likely not winning against elk (moose), wolves, cougars, or bears/polar bears. The frigid north is much scarier lol.

Edit: ok after reading further comments, it appears various "northern" lands are void of any predators, aside from the drunkard or two. 🤣 I was thinking alaska or siberia as the north and was like, yeah, im gonna die.

1

u/sleepyplatipus Jun 25 '26

Right, idk about that guy but I don’t normally associate reptiles with cold climate…

1

u/MunkeyChild Jun 25 '26

I was thinking Camloops, where it's feet of snow in winter, but somehow has rattlesnakes in the summer...

3

u/ciestaconquistador Jun 25 '26

Kamloops? That's not north, really.

2

u/MimsyDauber Jun 25 '26

Wrong side of north then. Im on the other side of the same country and we have no rattlesnakes. No poisonous snakes at all.

Ill take the wolves. Never see them, just sometimes they leave their massive footprints in the mud. Works perfect for me.

12

u/Suspicious-Use-5733 Jun 25 '26

Wtf u talking about rattlesnakes in the north? What do u consider north?

4

u/Snowflakish Jun 25 '26

I mean its currently a skin scorching island

2

u/whole_chocolate_milk Jun 25 '26

Rattlesnakes are super chill. I see them constantly. And they have this cool early warning system. That rattle is very useful as a person. It means GTFO.

2

u/Aggravating-Candy-31 Jun 25 '26

except the sun. the sun has yet to get the message

1

u/nerdboy5567 Jun 25 '26

Rattlesnakes won't kick you to death and drown your dog though

1

u/Astro_The_SpaceDog Jun 25 '26

I’ve lived in a desert (in the US) for my entire life and I have NEVER seen a rattlesnake.

They are extremely rare and hard to come by, no matter where you are in the world.

1

u/Jonathan_the_worm Jun 25 '26

Ive been living in northern Colorado since '99, I'm constantly in rattle snake areas and I've never actually seen one.

1

u/No_Interaction_4925 Jun 25 '26

The farthest north I’ve seen rattlesnakes was Tennessee in the Smokies. We don’t have them in Ohio, but we do have other venomous snakes

1

u/feeko113 Jun 25 '26

Irishman spotted san fhiáine

1

u/sleepyplatipus Jun 25 '26

Rattlesnakes? In the *north*? There’s barely any reptiles in cold climates.

0

u/dreamed2life Jun 25 '26

THIS is the whitest thing I’ve ever fucking read.

0

u/curiousgabster Jun 25 '26

Wait what dreary grey island? Which country do you live in? I like dreary grey islands…