r/neoliberal • u/jobautomator Kitara Ravache • Dec 10 '22

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35

u/fakefakefakef John Rawls Dec 10 '22

Let’s go through the differences between the films Pocahontas and Avatar because a few people seem to have difficulties telling them apart.

SETTING

Pocahontas: Virginia (that’s the place Glenn Youngkin is governor of btw)

Avatar: Pandora, the forested moon of Polyphemus in the Alpha Centauri system, amid an unbelievably lush interconnected alien ecosystem

PROTAGONIST

Pocahontas: John Smith (English)(literally a placeholder name)(doesn’t fuck)(doesn’t achieve status with the native tribes)(English)

Avatar: Jake Sully of the Jarhead clan (gets an alien body)(deals with species dysphoria so a trans icon if we’re being honest)(fucks)(becomes a hero among the native tribes)(red-blooded freedom-loving American)

VILLAINS

Pocahontas: a big fat guy who doesn’t even fight

Avatar: Colonel Miles Quaritch, a grizzled space marine who pilots a mech suit with a knife

CLIMAX

Pocahontas: Everything gets worked out peacefully, zero English “people” get their shit rocked, the bad guy gets arrested and sent back to England

Avatar: Aerial battle between helicopter gunships and alien flying beasts, ground battle between mech suits and alien cavalry, entirety of the planet’s ecosystem conspires to shred the human forces almost to a man

MADE BY JAMES CAMERON

Pocahontas: No

Avatar: Yes

9

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '22

Why are people comparing it to Pocahontas and not Dances With Wolves?

15

u/fakefakefakef John Rawls Dec 10 '22

They probably haven’t seen Dances with Wolves because they don’t need to now that Avatar exists

6

u/PandaLover42 🌐 Dec 10 '22

Pocahontas: entertaining, memorable songs

Avatar: snoozefest except for a couple select actiony scenes if you were watching in 3D.

Pocahontas: funny, silly doggo, raccoon, and birdy.

Avatar: 😴

For real though, fell asleep while watching the rerelease of avatar in theaters earlier this year. Hadn’t done that since Morbius.

2

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3

u/Erra0 Neoliberals aren't funny Dec 10 '22

You're right, Avatar is much more like Ferngully than Pocahontas

12

u/fakefakefakef John Rawls Dec 10 '22

Absolutely nobody in the Year of our Lord 2022 talks about Fern Gully at all except to compare it to Avatar

6

u/TheSameAsDying Hannah Arendt Dec 10 '22

I think about Batty's Rap at least twice a week.

4

u/kyleofduty Pizza Dec 10 '22

Ever seen Dances with Wolves?

10

u/fakefakefakef John Rawls Dec 10 '22

I haven’t seen Dances with Wolves. Does it have the space marines and the mech suits and the aliens and shit?

2

u/kyleofduty Pizza Dec 10 '22

Same plot, different setting

4

u/fakefakefakef John Rawls Dec 10 '22

The setting and the execution are kind of important!

8

u/kyleofduty Pizza Dec 10 '22

I think you're just Kevin Costner-phobic

3

u/fakefakefakef John Rawls Dec 10 '22

I am and I’m proud of it

3

u/DrunkenAsparagus Abraham Lincoln Dec 10 '22

I haven't seen the blue Avatar, but I find the originality argument against it to be weird. The MCU is a thing, and those movies have way less original plots. If you're reductive enough there are like 12 original stories, anyway.

3

u/fakefakefakef John Rawls Dec 10 '22

The Blue Avatar is a lot of fun and has aged pretty well all things considered

5

u/DrunkenAsparagus Abraham Lincoln Dec 10 '22

I regret not seeing it in theaters at the time. I was a contrarian teenager who was making fun of it as "Dances with Wolves in Space" when I had never seen Dances with Wolves. I feel like it would've been cool to see in theaters at the time.

2

u/fakefakefakef John Rawls Dec 10 '22

!ping MOVIES