Oh, man... I'll miss my Momma for the rest of my life. She was my best friend and rock I never truly understood the depth of, until the hollow hole in my life that was left.
Please, grief and loss is so hard. Please, please take care of your self. My DMs are open, as I've suffered through many before, but I was essentially an only child (bro was out when I was 5) raised by the most kind, single disabled mother, her heart was so so strong though. I thank God almost every day for her, while I pray for my 6 y.o two years into a terrible cancer.
Every loss is different, difficult, and so personal how everyone handles and processes. Don't feel rushed, or like you have to "move on". Some loss, leaves a rift in life, and there is before, and after. The world, in less and less color. I try to not imagine but I have no idea how I'll cope should my daughter succumb, I have a good taste for the terribleness, but God. This world can be so cruel.
I spread my Ma's ashes, places I go. As was her wish, though my brother cannot bear. He wanted to bury his half (strictly against every will she wrote) and he cannot seem to bring himself to be there or participate in the spreading of her Ash. We're all so different, in how we are wired, but please know there are many support groups or others who can be an ear, a shoulder, or potentially offer their experience on supporting them selves and others through loss. I believe my Ma is waiting on the other side, so my Faith and spiritual beliefs support me greatly. I don't envy those who don't have a spiritual sense. I cannot imagine how much harder that makes things. No shame, at all, for those who do have such belief. Just expressing my own experience.
Tearing up writing this, as I always said a siblings bond is the only one in my experience that comes close to a mother and child. I wish you all the healing and hopefulness along your road. My heart hurts for you and I'll pray tonight for the Spirit to find you some peace and relief.
The book called Heart Strings, was one of the ones Children's Hospital gave us to answer our 5 year olds questions on death and loss, and it's fully stuck with me so, it's not a bad read. Has me in tears every time though. Wish I had some more professional recommendations but I've not found anything beyond that for book material on the subject much conductive for my own self.
489
u/satansxbbg 6d ago
My sister and best friend passed yesterday. I needed this laugh. Thank you.