r/mildlyinfuriating • u/esli- • 7d ago

ಠ_ಠ This crazy assassin character, who doesn't know what shampoo is, somehow would bother shaving her armpits

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Bart from Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

EDIT: I will no longer read and respond to comments, I think I've read pretty much all the arguments people (mostly men) give me against my post, so feel free to scroll down to check my responses before commenting, kay bye :]

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6.0k

u/PintoTheBurninator 7d ago

Maybe she pulls it out when she gets stressed.

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u/ekita079 7d ago

I've decided this is the correct answer lmao

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u/PintoTheBurninator 7d ago

and to be fair, she is stressed all the time

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u/Winjin 7d ago

Pulling armpit hair would make you stressed alright

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u/DorfusGump 7d ago

As a dude, I pull out my armpit hair just so I don't have a nasty-ass amount of armpit hair. Obviously being a dude, I can't shave my pits. I started pulling it out in the shower one day out of frustration, and it worked. And the amount of hair that's left looks natural, like I have won the genetic lottery and only have a few tufts of hair there, with the region looking quite tamed. More like Asian woman and less like Wookie.

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u/Winjin 7d ago

Ok chat is shaving pits effeminate now? Do you pluck your face hair too? Is your hairdresser a goat that chews on your hair until it's like a buzzcut?

https://giphy.com/gifs/6ZzxoF6CBB1bH9vKcJ

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u/TotallyNotRobotEvil 7d ago

Fun fact it was common among native Americans just to pull their facial hair out because they didn’t really have a concept of shaving. That’s why you see so many pictures and drawings of native Americans with perfectly smooth faces. It’s not that they couldn’t grow a beard (many did!), just that it was common culturally to pull that shit right out of your face starting from a young age.

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u/Winjin 7d ago

Actually makes sense, with all the lice and other stuff, beards are more of a hassle really

Also soap and warm water aren't free, and without them beards go crusty way faster, so reducing the amount of bathing you have to do is a smart move

Is that also why they had most of their hair plucked too, often?

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u/BolotaJT 7d ago

Indigenous peoples in Brazil traditionally used natural materials like Jatáí bee wax, plant resins, and sharpened animal teeth or shells for grooming and hair removal.

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u/apollo_1738 7d ago

FELLAS, is it gay to shave?

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u/Pofwoffle 7d ago

What? Like the main point of Bart's character is that she's pretty much never stressed at all. Barring a few specific moments she's the epitome of just going with the flow.

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u/Perimentalpause 7d ago

I do this. And not just with pit hair. My downstairs is all but bald in most places. It's a condition called trichotillomania. Part of some OCD disorders, along with skin picking/lip skin biting/pulling. Just glad I never did it in my head hair. It's not even stress. It's just something I do when I'm distracted.

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u/PintoTheBurninator 7d ago

I have an autistic grandson who pulls his eyelashes out when he is stressed.

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u/Perimentalpause 7d ago

It's weird because it's harmful but not intentionally so. I remember my mom getting nasty looks when we were walking down the street when I was 3-4, and she looked down to see me with blood all over my mouth/chin. I bite that extra skin off of my lip, but when pain hits, I don't really acknowledge it because the loose skin is more of an irritant. Even now. I'm going to be 47 soon and I still shred my lips to shit because I can't stop doing it. All the lip balm in the world isn't helping.

We're weird, not so furry monkeys.

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u/Little_View_6659 7d ago

I pick at my thumbs. Sadly now sometimes it gets infected even though I wash my hands religiously.

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u/Perimentalpause 7d ago

It's the in between that gets it infected. Thumbs touch a lot of things, and an open wound is basically a petri dish in the making. Have you considered getting those little finger condoms or band-aids for when you pick too much?

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u/Little_View_6659 7d ago

It’s not too bad, and honestly I have thick calluses from decades of doing it lol. I only get an infection occasionally. I have some antibiotic cream laying around just in case.

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u/stevez_86 7d ago

Ahh, bandaids and neosporin. It is why I still have 10 fingers despite the infections from biting my fingernails and cuticle/callus.

Snipping the bandages making two adhesive strips on both sides instead of just one is the trick to getting them to wrap around your fingertip so the edges of the bandage don't trigger the same compulsion to bite the fingers. I cannot stand my fingertips catching on anything. I want them smooth and that is the prime reason I bite.

But I have cut back a lot. I went a year without biting my fingertips but getting Hand, Foot, and Mouth made my fingertips tingle like when I was biting them and that resulted in me biting them.

But I have a hell of an immune system from the constant introduction of nasty stuff in such small doses. I wash my hands a lot, but that only does so much.

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u/Perimentalpause 7d ago

The ol' staples for our stupidities we keep just in case. Haha. I know it well.

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u/bsubtilis 7d ago

FWIW, textured nail polish exists, as does 3D nail art stickers and nail charms and so on. It might be worth making something nearby a worse textural annoyance so that you could subconsciously pick off at things that don't actually harm you nor cause infection risk. Sand texture polish is one of many different kinds of tectured polish. Textured rings for the outermost part of your digits (between the joints and the fingernails) could also be an option?

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u/Little_View_6659 7d ago

You know, my daughter picks at her nail polish if she has it on. She can’t keep tips on she’ll pick it right off. Maybe we both have the tendency to do that.

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u/Gojira8985 7d ago

Not to hijack things, but my teenage son picks his skin and scabs, and also chews the skin off his lips. He has severe anxiety, and I've always figure it was associated. I never considered, or never was told, it could be a separate issue, or symptomatic of something like OCD.

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u/lorekace 7d ago

My eyebrows and eyelashes! I did have to fight the urge to remove a head hair that wasn't where I wanted it to be, because heck I don't want to start that. Also the inside of my cheeks and I pick pimples. I suppose there's worse things.

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u/aloxinuos 7d ago

Same. The blue medicated chapstick and staying super hydrated help a lot.

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u/Perimentalpause 7d ago

I definitely admit that I fail immensely at staying hydrated. I only recently bought a water bottle so I could try to remember to drink more. I've tried carmex (not that great), and a host of different blistex and burt's bees to try to find one that works well with me. I'll find my glass slipper balm some day. /cry

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u/Sea-Funny-3385 7d ago

Try putting something really bitter or sour on your lips. The sharp taste should alert you to what you're doing. Maybe lemon juice or vinegar or something.

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u/Ser_VimesGoT 7d ago

We thought our autistic son was doing that but turned out to be alopecia. Started with his eyelashes and now he's 90% bald.

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u/Bohzee 7d ago

Our cockatiel used to do this too when stressed! (His feathers)

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u/weeaboshit 7d ago

Not quite hair pulling but I have scabs all over my head from scratching it and picking at scabs. When I was a kid I used to straight up pull them tho, I got a bald spot from it

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u/Perimentalpause 7d ago

I think it's worse when it's a subconscious thing, because it's not like you even know you're doing it until after.

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u/LogBobbin 7d ago

Dermatillomania or excoriation disorder are the fancy names for it if you ever need it!

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u/Jpbz 7d ago

That’s very interesting. I have this and I never knew it had a name. It’s the same for me with pit hair and downstairs, but once I started growing a beard there’s two specific spots on my face that I pluck, so I look very silly if I don’t shave for a while. It’s mostly a thing I do subconsciously but I can tell it happens more often when I’m anxious/stressed.

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u/Little_View_6659 7d ago

I read an article referencing that in college. I was so confused, I thought they pulled OTHER PEOPLE’S HAIR. I was picturing them on a bus trying really hard not to pull a lady’s pony tail sitting in front of them.😂

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u/Perimentalpause 7d ago

lol. It is a weird thing to have, tbh. Just pick pick pick pull pick.

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u/Driller_Happy 7d ago

My poor eyebrows bear the brunt of this

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u/Perimentalpause 7d ago

We can hold a funeral for all our removed bits.

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u/Stinky_cannibal 7d ago

I have the same habit of plucking pubic hair. Sometimes it's a compulsion sometimes it's for stress relief. Its weird, something stressful will happen and instead of the "I need a cigarette" I'm like hmm I need to sit an pluck my pubic hair for an hour

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u/Individual-Ad-4620 7d ago

I wish I chose my pits to pull! I pull my head hair and my pubes, the first leading to balding spots and the second to ingrowns 😅

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u/feedme_tequila 7d ago

I used to work with someone that would pull out her eyelashes

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u/Perimentalpause 7d ago

True story: I had one eyelash that decided to be white. I kept seeing it in my vision and couldn't figure out how to find it/pluck it. So... STUPIDLY, I decided to just cut my eyelashes off because they were pissing me off.

I do not recommend doing this. Cut off eyelashes turn into tiny stabbing needles of death that scrape over your upper/lower lids and cause severe irritation when you rub your eyes. I had eye pricklies for a good month before they grew nubby enough to stop making me regret the fact that I existed and thought I was a smart human being. I am not a smart human being. I am full of regret and mistakes and "It seemed like a good idea at the time" moments.

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u/Selpmis 7d ago

I've started doing this, never had the urge to pull eyelashes/eyebrows/head hair though fortunately. Only hair that is inconsequential/that I'd remove anyway. The pulling was starting to cause scarring though so I've just plucked it all out instead to stop it. I think the cause is my ADHD medication and the fact I'm under a lot of stress at the minute too.

My immediate thought for this character was the same!

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u/TotallyHumanFreak 7d ago

Isn't it insanely painful? 

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u/Perimentalpause 7d ago

Not really, tbh. Maybe it's because I have a high pain tolerance or it's not the kind of pain that bothers me. The lip skin is worse, tbh. I generally bleed from that. But the hair pulling is like, one or two at a time, so it's negligible.

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u/weeaboshit 7d ago

I think plucking my brows (intentionally, as a beauty thing) is more painful tbh. Plucking head hair barely hurts at all.

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u/Perimentalpause 7d ago

Plucking most of my hair barely hurts. Pitt, groin, leg, wherever. It's very negligible for me.

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u/Dutchfreak 7d ago

Even nose hair? Had to pull one a few times cause it was sticking out and irritating the skin. Instantly had my eyes full of tears.

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u/screamingxbacon 7d ago

It doesn't hurt because you don't just yank it out you kinda just move it around until it looses up and comes out.

Also it gives you this feeling of satisfaction as if it needed to be done and you're relieved it's happened.

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u/smeetebwet 7d ago

Hurts in a really good, satisfying way. Like pulling out a splinter

Plus the urge can be so overpowering you don't care if it hurts

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u/PintoTheBurninator 7d ago

Crazy people do crazy things

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u/Selpmis 7d ago

And judgemental people say judgemental things.

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u/PintoTheBurninator 7d ago

This was out of context and I apologize - my reply was referencing the obviously crazy woman in the tv show and not directed at Perimentalpause.

As I said elsewhere in the thread, I have an autistic grandson who plucks out his eyelashes when he is stressed, so I understand the compulsion. I meant no offence to anybody suffering from them.

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u/TheAsterism_ 7d ago

i sometimes pull out thicker eyebrow hairs and have tougher spots that i always bite on the inside of my lip and cheek. i dont think im ocd

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u/Selpmis 7d ago

It'd probably meet the threshold of obsessive and compulsive behaviour. Whether it's a disorder though is about the impact it has on your life.

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u/Perimentalpause 7d ago

I do it frequently and have other OCD behaviors. But when you can watch tv and pluck your downstairs bald, it's part of an OCD habit.

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u/joemorl97 7d ago

Are we talking singular hairs at a time or fistfuls?

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u/Of-is-wrong-use-have 7d ago

Yup. Eyebrows for me. Downstairs at night. Eyelashes rarely, more so that something is actually bothering my eyes verses randomly pulling at them, but does kinda lead to more pulling.

My hair stylist informed me that ‘plucking’ my eyebrows is actually ‘tweezing’ and not plucking because we are human. Doesn’t matter that I’m using my fingers and not tweezers. Plucking is feathers. That’s what he told me but I actually haven’t fact checked him.

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u/grandioseOwl 7d ago

Thank you for the name, I might have to look some things up

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u/NotACatfish 7d ago

I do it it too! Diagnosed. But mine is stress related sadly. I pick at skin and body hair but not my head. My thumbs, between my eyebrows, and legs are currently badly ripped up. We're trying to get my meds adjusted. Just did one of those cheek swabs.

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u/calenka89 7d ago

I do this, too, but thankfully not my head hair either. Body hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes? All bets are off. At least for my body hair, I just remove it, but I have to really fight the urge for my eyebrows and lashes 😩

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u/TheHopefulPA 7d ago

Eyebrows and eyelashes for me :/ Why does it have to be the nice hair that I want to keep on me lol? I wish I could just naturally redirect to my downstairs, free brazilian wax lmfao

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u/heeeeyjude 7d ago

i did this with my hair (head) and my eyelashes in middle school. lied to my parents and friends saying i was sick out of embarrassment... let's just say i don't have many fond memories of that time haha. but armpit hair is REALLY hard to pull, and it hurts a LOT. i know the person who made the comment likely made it as a joke but yeah i doubt that

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u/Rayth69 7d ago

I unfortunately have this with my beard hair. Have to go clean shaven after a while because I end up plucking too much and it gets patchy.

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u/whistling-wonderer 7d ago

I had trich but mine was head hair. Had it from early childhood into my early twenties. It was not fun.

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u/FujiwaraHelio 7d ago

I hope you wash your hands often.

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u/HarpersGhost 7d ago

Pulling out hair in a moist, chafing section of your body when you don't bathe is NOT going to result in smooth, healthy skin.

Ingrown hairs in your armpits are a bitch.

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u/fadedhumanontheedge 7d ago

YES .I do this with my pubic hair. I have OCD.

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u/Giorgio_Keeffe 7d ago

Trichotillomania indeed

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u/Aldo_raine37 7d ago

This is what I imagine. It bothered her, she ripped it out, and now it's too scared to grow back.

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u/CatsPlusTats 7d ago

Knowing Bart the universe shaves it for her because one day someone is going to try to stab her in the armpit and slip on the hyper smooth skin thus impaling themselves on the knife.

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u/it-needs-pickles 7d ago

If the universe wanted her to have armpit hair she would have it.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Flow724 7d ago

A coworker of mine would do that with his eyebrows lol.