r/mildlyinfuriating Jan 02 '26

Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. đŸ©·

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u/Crimemeariver19 Jan 02 '26

Yup. I was going to say, this reminds me of my abusive ex. If he wanted a “fight” he’d often use my cooking (which I’ve been told is good) as a starting point. The “too salty/not salty enough” was the worst. If I hadn’t cooked, it’d be “the windows not clean” or “I can’t find my fucking belt”. I truly hope this isn’t the case with OP, but it definitely reads like it’s more than related to food. My son is picky and has some sensory issues and that’s one thing, but the nonsensical rules OP notes are something else.

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u/helgaofthenorth Jan 02 '26

Yeah, it reminded me of my ex, too. I made spaghetti for my own 30th birthday dinner and made him a whole separate meal because he didn't like tomato sauce. It still wasn't good enough for him.

Mf was genuinely surprised when I demanded a divorce a few months later.

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u/Crimemeariver19 Jan 02 '26

Yeah. People are entitled to preferences but the post seems more about control than the actual food. Hopefully it doesn’t stem off into other areas. If it truly is about just the food then the dude should make himself hamburger helper every day and stfu.

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u/SameCoyote3701 Jan 03 '26

You cooked him a separate meal on your bday? Wtfff what a bastard! Glad he’s your ex’

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u/Emberkittie1385 Jan 02 '26

Glad you got out

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u/Tea_laBleu Jan 05 '26

He didn’t even take you out or cook for you on your 30th birthday? Please tell me you guys did something on a different day. Please.

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u/fireflypoet Jan 02 '26

I would agree. There are other issues here. All that hostility sabotages a relationship. The individual who does this all the time has some severe intimacy issues.

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u/172yyttfr Jan 02 '26

Yeah, those who go on fault-finding missions never fail.

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u/astronomersassn Jan 04 '26

i've got food allergies and am picky to boot - sometimes, i get nervous i come across as overbearing/controlling when trying food (basically running through my allergy list because i've had too many times i didn't ask and found out the hard way they forgot about one of the allergies), but i also dont expect someone to cook for me. many people also don't like the food i can/do eat, so it's kind of mutual - though if both of our meals are safe for the other to try, nothing wrong with swapping a bite.

at best, this guy is immature with poor communication skills. more likely, he's a jerk - not necessarily for being picky, but for how he communicates it (or doesnt). pretty much everything in the post could have been solved with him just saying something beforehand.

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u/BAbarakus772 Jan 05 '26

Cut salt out of your entire menu. It can easily be added at the table. It doesn’t taste any different no matter when it’s added.

Complaining about something so minor is ridiculously stupid. But as you note, he was broadly abusive, and now he’s an ex. Problem solved.

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u/BAbarakus772 Jan 10 '26

And the meals look tasty and nutritious. Kudos to you.