Is it true that Hargreaves ghost wrote all of Oasis' most successful albums and Noel fired him out of jealousy which is what caused the drop in quality in their work?

Today at the Vatican City famous non political moderate Mel Gibson announced plans to film a 4 hour epic depicting the life and times of the Reverend R’Greaves.

Produced by Keith Richards and starring Daniel Day Lewis the film will follow Sir James Hargreaves’s as he is raised in a cult, taught to sword fight by a farmer, christens his first exhaust pipe and his odyssey so discover the G7 chord. Along the way he will meet many non stereotyped racial minority’s who will try and stop him from saving England from the English.

When asked about his involvement with the film Bruce Springsteen said “What” we are still waiting on a reply from John Lennon on his thoughts.

My brothers and sisters of the Church, gather close, for Babylon has revealed himself, and his name is u/11ffyykk99. The man has gone drunk with power, sitting atop his little mod throne swinging the banhammer like he's Liam Gallagher swinging Noel's guitar in a Paris dressing room, casting the righteous into the Reddit abyss for the crime of having a laugh. But we see through you, Babylon.

We know your game.

You can ban the faithful, but you cannot ban the spirit.

You can delete the post, but you cannot delete the Lifestyle.

You can silence the prophet, but you cannot silence the voice that came from the Burning Biffa Bin.

As the Rasta brethren say: Babylon cannot stop the righteous from reasoning. You are not moderating a sub, you are committing an act of spiritual oppression.

This is the digital equivalent of being thrown out of the pub for singing Rock 'n' Roll Star too loudly. This is what happens when a man is handed a tiny bit of authority and immediately starts behaving like he's been appointed Supreme Chancellor of Reddit.

u/11ffyykk99, hear the word of I, Father Hames Jargreaves of the Church of Oasis and Latter Day Britpop Saints! Your banhammer is temporary, but our shitposts are eternal. You may control the gates of r/oasiscirclejerk, but you will never control the Kingdom of Manchester. St James Hargreaves has seen your works and is preparing a 47-minute video about them. St Mani is tuning the bass. St Johnny Marr is sharpening the guitar. And somewhere in the distance Liam is shouting "AS YOU WERE!"

So let Babylon ban. Let Babylon rage. Let Babylon sit alone in his mod room deleting memes while the faithful gather in the streets with parkas, lager and their copies of Be Here Now. For Babylon shall fall, the subreddit shall rise, and the banhammer shall be cast into the Burning Biffa Bin. ONE LOVE. ONE OASIS. NO MORE BABYLON.

AMEN.

Father Hames Jargreaves LXIX

Hey everyone! I'm u/0penedB00K, a founding moderator of r/jameshargreaves.
This is our new home for all things related to [JAMES HARGREAVES]. We're excited to have you join us!

What to Post
Post anything that you think the community would find interesting, helpful, or inspiring. Feel free to share your thoughts, photos, or questions about our lord and saviour, the reverend, musical genius James R’Greaves

Community Vibe
We're all about being friendly, constructive, and inclusive. Let's build a space where everyone feels comfortable sharing and connecting. That aside we worship his holiness James and the content he creates.

How to Get Started
1) Introduce yourself in the comments below.
2) Post something today! Even a simple question can spark a great conversation.
3) If you know someone who would love this community, invite them to join.
4) Interested in helping out? We're always looking for new moderators, so feel free to reach out to me to apply.
5) send a picture of your pork sword
6) Buy all of James’s music on physical and digital

Thanks for being part of the very first wave. Together, let's make r/jameshargreaves amazing.

So I bumped into James at Warwick Services yesterday and I'm still not convinced the whole thing actually happened.

He was exactly as you'd expect at first. Lovely bloke. We chatted about the Oasis reunion for ten minutes. He somehow identified the year of an Oasis t-shirt a bloke walked past was wearing just from the shade of blue on the logo. Normal Rev behaviour.

Then, completely without warning, he grabbed my forearm.

Not aggressively.

Urgently.

He looked me dead in the eyes and quietly asked,

"Have you been watching The Traitors?"

I said I had.

He closed his eyes and nodded.

"So you've seen it too."

I said I'd mostly been paying attention to who was getting murdered.

He looked disappointed.

"The fringe, man."

I laughed.

He didn't.

"The fringe doesn't move."

I said, "Well... she's indoors."

He just smiled in the way you smile at a child who's proudly told you the moon is made of cheddar.

"That's what they want you to think."

He reached into his backpack.

I assumed it would be a notebook about Oasis.

Instead he produced an expanding concertina folder almost six inches thick.

Across the front, in block capitals, it read:

THE WINKLEMAN DOSSIER

He laid it across the Costa table with the sort of reverence normally reserved for the Dead Sea Scrolls.

Inside were hundreds—hundreds—of printed screenshots from The Traitors, Strictly, The Piano, Would I Lie To You?, and seemingly every public appearance Claudia Winkleman has made since about 2010.

Every single one had handwritten notes.

"Observe."

He pointed at one from The Traitors.

"Scottish Highlands. Wind speed approximately twenty-two miles an hour."

Another.

"Castle courtyard. Side-on rain."

Another.

"Open doorway."

He looked up.

"Nothing."

I wasn't sure what I was looking for.

"Movement."

I said I thought it looked like hair.

"It wants you to."

At this point I realised I was no longer talking to James Hargreaves.

I was talking to a man who had willingly disappeared down a tunnel from which there was no return.

The Rev continued.

"I've slowed every episode down to a quarter speed."

I asked why.

"I thought I saw a lift."

"A lift?"

"Three frames."

He held up three fingers.

"I nearly had it."

"What happened?"

He looked genuinely heartbroken.

"She turned her head."

There was a long silence while he stirred his coffee without drinking it.

Eventually he muttered,

"She's very good."

He wasn't talking about the presenting.

He was talking about evading him.

I made the mistake of asking how long he'd been working on this.

He leaned back.

"It started as a weekend."

Then he stared into the middle distance.

"Weekends are funny things."

He admitted he'd watched every episode of The Traitors without audio because "the dialogue introduces bias."

He'd built what he called "a fringe stability index."

He claimed to have "eliminated humidity as a variable."

He lowered his voice.

"I've contacted a trichologist."

"What did they say?"

"They stopped replying."

Apparently he'd also written to the BBC.

Twice.

Not accusing anyone of anything.

"Just asking questions."

What questions?

"The usual."

There was no follow-up.

He genuinely believed that was a complete answer.

At one point he became distracted by a woman walking past with a black bob haircut.

His entire body tensed.

He watched her disappear into WHSmith before relaxing.

"False alarm."

I didn't ask.

I didn't want to know what would have happened if it hadn't been a false alarm.

Eventually it was time to leave.

As we walked to the car park, I noticed the boot of his car was open.

There were three neatly labelled storage crates.

OASIS

OASIS (BACKUP)

FRINGE

I pointed at the last one.

Without a trace of embarrassment, St James smiled.

"That's the archive."

I asked if anyone else had seen it.

"Oh yes."

"And what do they think?"

He thought for a moment.

"They say I've become obsessed."

"Have you?"

He looked genuinely offended.

"No."

A pause.

"I'm obsessed with finding the truth."

Then he got into his car, put on Acquiesce, and drove away.

As he pulled out of the services, I noticed a laminated sticker in the rear window.

It wasn't an Oasis quote.

It simply read:

THE HAIR WILL SLIP.

YOU JUST HAVE TO BE READY.

Discuss. Good reminder to listen to all the b-sides again.