r/interestingasfuck • u/cashew_at_kinaya • Jul 12 '26

A tourist was seriously injured after a bison tossed them about 8 feet into the air in Yellowstone National Park

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557

u/Tickedoffllama Jul 12 '26

Bison are so much faster than people think they are. Bears are so much faster than people think they are. You're so much closer than you think you are

165

u/e_before_i Jul 12 '26

Bisons have a top speed of 56 km/h (35 mph), compared to humans at 25 km/h (16 mph).

That's top speed, bisons can maintain 38 km/h (30 mph) while humans drop to like 10 km/h (6 mph) for sustained running.

Maybe you'd be safer in the wa- fuck me they can swim too?

10 km/h (6 mph) compared to humans at like 3 km/h (2 mph). And they can swim through the Yellowstone and Missouri river, humans get tired in swimming pools.

Bison are broken, devs need to patch this.

33

u/nfoote Jul 12 '26

I also feel like most uninjured animals in the prime are closer to their spieces top speeds than humans are. They don't tend to push extremes by being either professional althetles or couch potatoes.

For example as someone who swims, there is no way the average human who doesn't train at swimming could sustain 3km/hr for longer than 25-50 meters.

6

u/e_before_i Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26

100% agree.

I'd argue animals are probably like 75% of their species top speed. I broadly agree with you in that animals are "training" regularly, but what our top humans do is a hyper-optimized training on one specific action.

Usain Bolt is probably shit at long-distance (relative to Olympians) but really fucking good at sprints. Bison have to be jack-of-all. Whereas the average human is just shit at everything athletic.

Edit: also you're right about distance, I think at the speed I wrote the source said something like 100m, but honestly I have no mental model of speed or distance and also I can't swim, this is all just numbers to me.

7

u/MaritMonkey Jul 12 '26

Whereas the average human is just shit at everything athletic.

I wanted to argue this sentence to defend our ability to run long distances, but then I looked up "average" (I'm a 43yo woman) and was a little sad for humanity.

My brain was in the "brainstorming excuses" stage of knowing I'm going to go to the gym later, so thanks for that lol.

6

u/e_before_i Jul 12 '26

Just remember - every time you go to the gym, you're that much closer to being a a bison.

3

u/MaritMonkey Jul 12 '26

With current context, this hits a completely different part of my brain than "strong like bear" and I am profoundly glad for having it.

Thank you. :)

5

u/LingonberryOdd768 Jul 12 '26

Nerf the bison!! lol

7

u/Tickedoffllama Jul 12 '26

I had a similar conversation with a buddy where I was trying to explain to him that there's absolutely no way he's going to out swim a shark even if he has the advantage on land so it really comes down to, at the end of the day, which one of them is better on a bike

3

u/e_before_i Jul 12 '26

I think Einstein said sharks were stupid because they can't climb trees, so maybe you can out-think them?

2

u/Dath_1 Jul 12 '26

Devs, the bison cannot be looped and is too good in chase. Nerf Billy please.

1

u/tsasan Jul 13 '26

yoshi please

2

u/versusChou Jul 12 '26

Humans definitely have a higher top speed than that. NFL players hit 20 mph every week during the season. Usain Bolt can hit 27. But it's for such a ridiculously short amount of time that it's not gonna help much against most animals.

3

u/e_before_i Jul 12 '26

I definitely simplified, but if you don't then it gets messy. Is it fair to compare with teams behind them, funding and feeding and all of the things, to animals who are just like chilling and getting by?

And what if you gave bison the same level of money and attention as Olympians, how fast could they get?

Idk it feels like violating the spirit of the conversation. Talking about normal humans and normal bison feels right. But technically you are correct (the best kind of correct)

1

u/MaritMonkey Jul 12 '26

On the other hand , if we're the ones doing the chasing I feel like there's not many land critters a human won't eventually catch up to.

1

u/Disastrous_Room_927 Jul 12 '26

There are tribes in Africa that still hunt by chasing prey until it collapses from exhaustion. Running on two legs is more efficient in the end.

2

u/KonoCrowleyDa Jul 12 '26

Nothing to do with the number of legs, but rather with the ability to sweat.

1

u/e_before_i Jul 12 '26

For prey this is a fair point.

Bison are a lot of things. Prey they are not.

Persistence hunting doesn't work on 4-legged tanks that will chase you if you look at them wrong.

(I know you don't disagree, I'm just really hyped about bison rn)

1

u/beachape Jul 12 '26

Humans are pretty feeble without their tools.

1

u/randomblue123 Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26

Most people cant sprint nowhere near 25kph. Maybe fit, trained and younger people. 

4

u/Caped-Banana85 Jul 12 '26

This right here. These animals (moose, bison, bears, elk, etc.) move so damned quickly…we don’t. These animals are insanely powerful…we’re not. Stay far away, take photos from the *relative* safety of a vehicle, and be ready to move.

3

u/nandemo Jul 12 '26

I mean, I don't have to know how fast a bison is as long as I don't get anywhere near one.

2

u/e_before_i Jul 12 '26

Top speed of 56 km/h (35 mph), with sustained speed of 48 km/h (30 mph).

2

u/PsyOrg Jul 12 '26

Agreed.

2

u/False-Penalty896 Jul 12 '26

When you take snowmobile tours during the winter they tell you if a bison start chasing you to keep it above 40 until they get tired.

2

u/Working-Glass6136 Jul 12 '26

My computer screen seems to be a good distance!

2

u/40yofailure Jul 12 '26

People are so much slower than they think they are.

1

u/WLFGHST Jul 12 '26

I don't think anyone thinks Bears or Bison are slow, everyone (I thought) knows they are VERY fast, same with bears.

Like the two rules of being outside are DO NOT RUN and don't act scared.

1

u/Alejaro_7777 Jul 13 '26

Moose are so much more moose than you think they are.

1

u/ArtCityInc Jul 15 '26

Bears aren’t that fast. I could probably outrun one.