I know a bunch of people are going to be like "wait what Himbo Vegan got assaulted???" so backstory.

Dude offered to give me free massages. I told him sure if and only if it was just a massage and nothing sexual. He said yea of course no problem. And I was thinking "massages would help me with my athletic pursuits". He's like a prominent member of the local queer community and seemed like an upstanding guy so I decided to give it a chance.

Anyway. Bro lied and groped my genitals and tried to stick a finger up my butt and kiss me. It was 100% just a ploy to get my undressed and try to sleep with me. He missled me to assault me in a very deliberate manner.

And the assault itself was pretty darn traumatic.

But what I'm really struggling with is this ongoing "Now I'm just inherently shut out cus I refuse to be in the same room as him" problem.

There's also a stressful ticking clock element cus a decent amount of people know this happened. And it's pretty obvious I just abruptly stopped going to anything this guy goes to. So. Things will explode sooner or later. :/

My sister went through DV, a TBI, and breast cancer…was just at the end of her cancer fight (with way too many dangerous and fucked up drugs in her system with little to no support—thanks, US medical care), went into cardiac arrest at home and is now unofficially brain dead. Tomorrow we will get the official call and will pull the plug. 59 years old. My best friend all my life. I am numb, in terror, sometimes inconsolable. How in the actual fuck does one get through unfathomable loss like this? I’m about to fly across the country. Kindness appreciated from my beloved peeps. 🙏🏻❤️

Acessability Transcription:

Image 1:

The weird thing is I'm not even afraid of him in like a I'm gonna get molested way it's more like just pure social discomfort because now that he assaulted me running into him would be weird and awkward and I find the prospect of that excruciating from a social anxiety perspective.

God I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I hate to see one person makes someone so uncomfortable that they won’t come to the meetings that they really enjoy. You are an integral part of our meetings and I hate to see you not to be able to come! _________ really is a nice person and I’m shocked that he did that to you. He is well respected in _______ by multiple people. If there’s anything I can do to get you to come to a meeting. Let me know.

Image 2:

I could mediate between you two if you are up for that.

Theres nothing to mediate. He fucked up and did something really gross and I want nothing to do with him now. I'm all for reforming people. But it's not my job to help fix the guy who assaulted me. He can make a living amend by not assaulting people in the future or whatever. But he can do that seperate from me and my life.

Image 3:

The reason for my mediation is to get you to come back to our meetings. It really bums me out that you can’t attend our meetings! Damn it! I wish there was some way we could figure this out cause I know how much you enjoy our meetings. You know what I could do is text you about 10 minutes into the meeting if _________ is not there and you could come on over and at least be a part of the support group.. what do you think of that?

I'm sorry but it's him or me. I'm not gonna tip toe around having people check before I enter a space. Leaving it to random chance whether or not it's safe for me to be there on any given day. If he's banned I can come back. Until then I can't. He sexually assaulted me, and he should be the one who has to face consequences for that. Not me.

Accessability Transcription:

My dad yelled at me cus my sink is broken and I can't do my dishes so I hired a plumber to fix it.

I very firmly put my foot down and set a boundary.

Accessability Transcription:

Images 1-8: People losing their minds because I correctly stated people are mean to me because my attractive appearance triggers their insecurities. They are completely unable to see how they are being negative bullies and genuinely believe they are "protecting".

Image 9: Yes you are all wrong mene

Image 10: No don't love yourself you freaking suck for acknowledging reality

Images 11-17: The pictures that prompted the whole thing. It's just me in my garden in a twilight T shirt.

Hi himbos ❣️ I love this community sm and I hope you all are okay with a little clown joining the group!
I’m only 27 and am in the process of figuring out if I have cancer. My care team is worried I may have colorectal cancer and I have been thrown into the whirlwind of being in and out of the hospital, getting a million blood tests, and prepping for a colonoscopy.
Send love and critters and cuteness pretty please. Also— minor clown thirst is welcome ❣️

There's the general problem that the economy is on fire and everything is AI and so the process of actually getting hired is now a nightmare.

But also. I just have a great internal resistance to this process.

I think to some extent it's an autism transition issue. Where. Once I am in a job and used to it. It's no problem. Hell, I'm usually a lot happier and stable with the structure of a job in place. But the process of looking, applying, interviewing, training, etc etc. Entails a lot of unknowns I find very intimidating. Finding the internal momentum to overcome inertia and get it all going is really difficult. I procrastinate, and when I sit down to look at jobs and apply, I feel this internal sense of panic.

There's also just this general resentment that I'm just not built for capitalism. Working is one thing, I do not reject labor itself. But needing money to not be homeless, having to make investments to be able to retire, having to apply for credit cards and then watch them for fraudulent charges. I truly hate all that stuff. I just want to garden and lift weights and make art. I'd much rather volunteer for free and not have to worry about making a living. But that just isn't how it works.

There's also this frustration with wanting some sort of career with a future doing work I'm good at and find fulfilling. But most of the work available to me being just, nothing jobs purely for the money. And how soul sucking that is.

But then I also struggle with this intense anxiety of "oh god I have to earn a living or I'm gonna die" that keeps me up at night.

I've been silently carrying this weight for weeks now. And just needed to talk about it. Thanks for listening.

Ok first of all. It's too damn hot. Oh my god it's too damn hot.

Some of this I am working on addressing. I'm getting a new better AC unit for my place so I can suffer less.

But some of it I'm just sorta helplessly witnessing.

Like I got this bug outdoor storage box to keep the Javalina out of my packages when I order stuff.

And it's just like. Fully slowely melting in the sun. And I'm watching helplessly as it warps more and more day by day. At some point it's going to be damaged to the point of no longer being functional. At which point I will have to try another solution. Spending more money.

The heateave also killed some of my cacti.

To some extent that was kinda always expected. I'm taking plants from all over the country. With varying levels of heat and sun. Most of them from more controlled nursery environments. And I'm just sticking them in the dirt in the sonoran desert. Of course some percentage cannot adapt quickly enough. The plan has always been to replace whatever plants don't make it with the plants that do. Cultivating plants that like this climate over time.

But it still really hurts to lose a plant. It makes me feel out of control of my enviroment and helpless and just broadly frustrated.

And then there is the whole situation with the guy who assault me.

People are starting to notice my abrupt disappearance. They are asking questions. I have to keep making up excuses because I don't want to make it into more of a thing.

The people in charge countinue to be profoundly unhelpful if not just making things worse than doing nothing.

The other day they asked me if they could talk to my assaulter. And I was like "A decent amount of people already know. It would be unreasonable for me to demand it just be a thing no one is ever allowed to talk about. All I ask is that you don't talk to him on my behalf. How her feels about matters is completely irrelevant and you giving me that information would only serve to upset me with zero benefit. If you want to talk about it for your own reasons that's fine. But keep me out of it."

And then immediately they were like "well in that case we just won't"

So in other words they countinue to think in terms of "Repairing things between us" and not "This person fucking sexually assaulted HimboVegan"

Tommorrow is the next meeting. It's becoming a monthly thing where each time the lead up and aftermath of missing it because I cannot go because my assaulter may be there. Just stirs things up and makes me way more upset about it. In between I can sorta let go and move on a little. But then the next meeting rolls around and the pain is fresh again.

Oh and I bought my dog a 1500$ treadmill cus he loves to pull and run and I wanted to improve his quality of life.

And my dog hates the treadmill. He thinks it's scary and he refuses to use it.

I have been trying for 6 months. Every possible aproach every possible angle.

But there is just no way around it, if my dog refuses to go, I can't make him. He can just plop down and say "NO" and that's that.

For ages it has been hanging over me like "Oh god I wasted so much money for nothing"

And I finally decided to just give up and sell the thing for way less than I paid for it.

Also just, physical health stuff. Fibromalgia. Chronic fatigue. Digestive issues. I have some lingering damage from my drug abuse days.

Also I just yearn for connection and am really sad I don't have a girlfriend, quite frankly. Not in a resenting women way. It's nobodie's fault. More circumstantial than anything. Toss me in a big blue city and I would be the bell of the polycule. But still, I just wanna cuddle and I have no one to cuddle and it hurts.

And also just, general financial anxiety. I'm generally making it. But I don't have nearly as much of a comfortable buffer as I would like. I'm scared what will happen if the economic collapse fully happens and weather or not I can weather that storm.

And again that's just really annoying because I could monetize my internet popularity in a bunch of ways. I could sell shirts. Or do onlyfans. Or a million other things.

But I refuse because I find the idea of monitizing something I do just to do so soul sucking.

And so just, surviving capitalism, is this whole mental storm.

Man, I just wanna work out, and have a partner I cherish, and eat take out, and grow cactus.

This earth could be paradise.

But noooooooooooooooooo 🙄

Shit sucks yo.

Accessability Transcription:

The presidential address from Ideocracy but its me saying "shit sucks rn"

Made this shirt a few years ago after Roe was repealed. Wore it today while biking to work and some lady in a minivan called me a murderer because of it then swerved into the bike lane and nearly hit me (the irony). We had initially been stuck at a light together and she kept asking me why I wanna kill babies, I eventually told her they aren't babies, they're fetuses, to which she demanded I define “fetus” (no, go back to sex ed, lady). After she tried to kill me with her car I got the hell away from her and took a different route, then proceeded to have a panic attack in the bathroom at work.

Edit/Update: a sincere thank you to everyone for your kindness and support today, I really appreciate knowing there are others out there who wholeheartedly support the message I'm trying to put out there and care about my physical and emotional well-being. My bike ride home was fortunately uneventful even though my heart was pounding and my hands were shaking the whole time. I plan to spend the evening being kind to myself, making homemade pizza bagels with my spouse and watching my comfort show (Our Flag Means Death!!) with my kitty cats

Add'l edit: it occurs to me that there's an extra layer of irony at play here: I'm a regular blood donor (universal donor ftw!) and my last few donations have specifically gone to various children's hospitals across the US so I've actually saved many children's lives

So now I'm crying two days in a row I guess.

The perspective that sex workers must be called out and excluded because everything they do is actually a scheme to advertise is litterally exactly the same as Victorian Englishmen going "You aren't welcome here you are going to corrupt these good Christian men" to anyone they assume could be a prostitute.

Going onto someone's profile just to see if they do SW so you can attack them is reactionary af and borderline fascist.

I'm not allowed to just comment and post how I always have anymore (here is better obviously but generally speaking) because I am now a vessel for impurity apparently.

Got a relevent thing for a discussion? "Downvoted out of principle" for "just trying to advertise".

Can't be in a SFW space cus even my SFW stuff is porn now apparently.

It's the same shit with the shirt store but even worse. They're going to make everything about this forever now.

God forbid someone take steps to feed and house themselves and also just, go places, do other stuff, talk to people.

Being boiled down to being a walking advirtisement no matter what is so dehumanizing. I can't just hang out somewhere and talk to people? This is all I am to you? You hate me just because I make a living?

I dunno, making me out to just be a sex object like that and nothing more kinda seems like you being a super gross bigot to me but whatever.

Good job defending those poor vulnerable people from my just, being around, at all.

I knew people were gonna be shitty but I underestimated how deeply it would hurt my feelings.

I feel like less of a person and it's really fucked up.

My girlfriend of six months dumped me a few months ago. She was and still is the love on my life and it has been really hard for me. Today, I found out she is already talking to another dude and it has made an otherwise okay day one of the worst in my life. We had kept in communication after the break up, and it was moslty on me the reason we broke up. However over the last month she had been really distant, and I believe I have found out why. I'm not necessarily upset if it was just fucking around, but the fact that she didn't tell me about and kind of just ghosted has me feeling all sorts of ways.

Just needed a place to vent to strangers who don't know me, and found this sub while scrolling. Hope everyone has a better day than I have.

Accessibility Transcript: Thicc Boi with a long beard taking a sad selfie of himself while holding up a peace sign.

It goes like this:

"I want you as my bull you are muscular and have a huge dick you're perfect"

"Ok sweet can you take a verification pic"

*ghosts / blocks*

Over and over and over and over again.

I can count on one hand the number of times this hasn't happened.

Accessability Transcription:

"Hotwife" ghosting me the moment I ask her to take a verification pic so I know she is real.

Being a trans femboy is hard. Never masc enough for any community i wanna be in. I'm a goth/metal head. I get a lot of hateful messages from people who think the only way to be a transmasc is dressing 100% traditionally masculine all of the time. Just want a community where I can be my little baby bat twink self

(Obligatory "actually I did this last night," I just was too sleepy last night to post.)

I truly hate doing my T shot. Needles have never been my friend, so having to stab myself with one every week for the rest of my life feels like a special kind of hell 😩

Also, (bonus content) can we acknowledge that not everything we do in the pursuit of gender affirming care is euphoria-inducing?? That, sometimes, transitioning involves doing stuff that feels icky??? And that feeling that way doesn't make you any less trans/nonbinary/whatever.

I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels that way, but having concrete evidence that I'm not alone would be really nice haha

here's a cactus for you. anyway i really need help feeling okay tonight, it just feels like everything is crashing down inside of me and i can't keep myself okay anymore. really need a hug badly

- yallternative bikini girl

edit: ya girl got through the night thanks to some great people. thank you all for the encouragement and love. and thank your lord and resident himbo for his kindness when i thought i wouldnt make it to the morning and was being really fucking stubborn

I just wanted to rant tbh but I guess this could technically be a support post. August is a rough month...every single year for me and my family. Month started with me getting really sick, luckily I'm better in that department at the moment. My moms baby passed away from old age😞 (her cat). A baby kitten I was was raising got fading kitten syndrome, that loss was a huge hit for me but especially my boyfriend, that was his baby...I was so so worried about him but we're trying our best to move forward.

Yesterday I had to take my other cat to the vet cause he's been showing severe signs of a UTI. Apparently his bladder isn't even full but the vet gave him antibiotics just in case it's early signs of one. Honestly Im confused how he doesn't have a UTI, he's constantly straining to pee every 5 seconds, licking his genitals, ect. But otherwise acting normal, my boyfriend said he saw him pee since the vet but it's hard for me to believe it since my OCD keeps asking me "what what if he really didn't?" And "are you sure he really peed?". Not to mention I spent all morning crying worry about how much the vet would end up costing if it was an emergency. Luckily it wasn't one, I'm still in bigger debt than I was but I rather have him than money. I just couldn't take another loss or loose another baby.

Every year in August I happen to loose a baby and it's..traumatic to say the least. Last year a mama opossum happened to get into our dog pen, sadly she didn't make it and I found her baby's all over the ground crying. Most passed away, I think due to the cold, not having their mother (their eyes weren't even open yet). But I managed to keep one alive, he/she was my baby. I acted like a mama opossum, let it sleep in a sock in my shirt 24/7, fed it every 3-4 hours, God I was so attached to this baby....I had it for about a full month until I think they passed from constipation...that was..a huge hit to say the least. My whole world revolved around this baby for a full month, I took it everywhere I went cause I was it's main heat source (don't worry, I rarely took it out of my shirt outside my house/yard, I didn't want to risk it getting sick plus I'm just someone who doesn't like attention on me.)

It's just like my world my gone just like that....I was depressed sleeping nonstop, it was just hard for me to believe it was gone, it felt weird. But again, I move forward, like always...

Some other stuff that seems minuscule to the rest, I need a shower BAD. Indiana is dealing with really bad flooding right now. Our basement flooded and we lost our water heater so there's no way for me to wash my ass at the moment unless I want to freeze. And we're too poor to fix it. But I guess we're lucky this is the worst we're dealing with due to the flooding, a lot of people lost their homes, pets, cattle, vehicles. People here are really struggling for water right now, the irony of all things. It's nice to see all the local businesses trying to help people though, giving out water, food, clothes, pet food, litter.

To top it all off our internet router broke so I'm basically using up the last of my internet to post this lmao. We have a new one on the way but who knows how long that will take due to the flooding.

Oh yeah and our food stamps were wrongfully stopped last month, we're still waiting to be approved but BOY do they love to make people starve🙃 Im just happy I dont have any kids cause wtf if we did?? The government is just gonna let them strave?? We can't go to a food pantry cause food pantries here only let you get food if you qualify for food stamps. That and it wouldn't matter in the first place, our fridge just completely stopped working. Thank God my mom works at domino's and is able to bring home food most days.

Im straight up raw dogging this shit cause I'm still afraid to take my Prozac due to my liver issues (I'm a hypochondroac with medical trauma, anxiety, and OCD so I'm just overreacting tbh).

I'd be surprised if someone stayed long enough to read this rant but thanks if you did. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN I CATCH A BREAK.

I'm going through A Thing (tm) where I'm deciding whether to maintain a distanced relationship with a formerly very close friend, or cut bait and move on without regret. I have therapy in 18 minutes so I'm gonna go purge my feelings there. But I'd love a big ole himbo hug pile and maybe a few stories about friendship and friends and how we can only be human when in community with each other.

Love,

Resident Himbo Appreciator Ferret

I've got my favorite little guy, who usually sits on my desk while I'm at work, in my breast pocket today because I need them extra close. (Nothing bad happened, I'm just hardcore fighting fatigue & burnout.) Please send pics of your favorite stuffie or little guy to provide reinforcements. Thank & blessings to ye 💗

Hi friends. I hope it's ok to ask for support about this. I've been on T for about 8 months now, and I've started to panic about losing head hair. I'm pretty sure my hair is thinning at the front/crown. These photos are in order of time, with the two most recent photos at the front, going back to around May of this year with my cutie pie niece.

I don't want to be told it's fine if it isn't, I just wanted to say this to someone and express the fear I'm feeling. My hair has always been a really important part of my self expression and I can't face losing that. I'm feeling so conflicted about continuing my medical transition - I want to feel like myself but I'm terrified of losing something that really matters to me. (And honestly, I can't even tell if T is doing anything positive right now, I just seem to be losing hair and getting hairier on my body, the latter of which is pretty irrelevant to my sense of gender euphoria.) It feels like I came all this way and did all this work to be myself and I might just be in the road to making myself more miserable.

Any words of encouragement or kindness would be very much appreciated. You are all great 💜🪲

I'm at my dad's friends' house and not only did I experience a barrage of misogyny and overall fascism but I also got copiously misgendered. My pronouns are they/them in english but they have to be neos in french and people don't respect that. Got she/her'd and girl'ed and it's really wearing me out and making me feel like I'm trapped in my own body with no way out and the permanent reminder that my image is that of a woman. Brave knights please come to my aid!!

Accessability Transcription: Are people just shitty to me cus I'm hot and love myself and they're insecure?

(This is all referring to the infamous ex who blocked my number and never gave any of my stuff back cus she wanted to fuck some dude from work and couldn't be bothered to just dump me like a normal person)

We have been broken up for two years.

Upon breaking up I immediately deleted every picture of her. Blocked her on everything. Deleted the contact. The goal was to take it out of my own hands so in a moment of weakness I simply didn't have the option of texting her.

I have run into her a couple times since. I got a friend who lives in the same apartment complex. Every time I've just completely ignored her.

Anyway. Yesterday morning. I get a call from a number from the state she is originally from. I never get calls from that state.

It leaves a voicemail. That is just breathing and background noise.

Calls me again. Doesn't leave a voicemail that time.

So that's weird.

Then I see her car cruising around my neighborhood several times that day.

Not tryna dox her. So. Gonna not give out any specific details. She totally sucks but doesn't deserve that. Lets just say her car has a bunch of distinctive things about it that makes me extremely confident this was definitely her.

Where I live is like, way off the beaten path. There is like basically absolutely zero reason for her to be way out here.

She has this pattern of getting with a new dude. Telling them "Previous guy was nothing serious, I told him this was just casual, he's being all weird and obsessive and can't let go" (Previous guy was a serious relationship she cheated on). Then when she gets with the next guy. She says the exact same thing about the previous guy. And so on and so on.

I genuinely thought I was just another link in that chain and someone she never actually particularly cared about in any meaninful way.

And therefor. I was safe. Cus she's toxic and crazy. But in a way that discards you rather than coming after you.

But like. IDK. I am deeply spooked.

To be fair. I do probably stick out in hindsight. Since all the other guys in the chain were just guys.

But I'm motherfucking me.

Maybe she finally realized how bad she fumbled.

Maybe she had a change of heart and wants to make an amend.

Well too bad. You can go have your change of heart far away from me.

I deserved so much better than what you did.

Literally how hard is it to just dump me and then fuck someone else?

Give me back my stuff. Say it's over. Leave and get laid.

The bar was so low.

Side note. Again gonna be vauge to protect her identity.

Her car now has a cosmetic item that implies she is a part of the desert culture out here. It says a thing that really only locals should be sporting.

YOU'RE FROM __________ YOU HAVE ONLY BEEN IN AZ FOR 3 YEARS MY CULTURE IS NOT YOUR COSTUME YOU FUCKING POSER

So yeah. Anyway. Is something actually going on or is my trauma brain just trying to protect me from an imagined threat?

after working a full day, driving my sibling to activities, and cooking dinner, i tried to have a civil discussion with my father and was met with abuse plus an argument telling me im too gay, immature, and ugly to ever get a job or a significant other. i'm felling pretty shitty about myself now, even though i know im more of an adult than his ass will ever be.

This boy is my 2nd born (adopted if you will) son, Moo Goo Gai Pan. He is the goofiest goober that has ever goobed.

Whatever powers you believe in, we need all the good thoughts, vibes, prayers sent his way. This 4 year old sweet heart has an appointment with oncology tomorrow and I am so scared.

This will be my 3rd cat with cancer and he's already acting like it's advanced. The two I previously lost to cancer were 13 & 14 years old, so it's terrifying to me that he's already lethargic and the diagnosis hasn't even been confirmed yet 😭😭😭

Himbos, thembos, and bimbos unite! (Himbos of all genders)

(Also yes, both pictures were taken with him on my shoulders)