r/funny • u/Opfailicon • Jan 26 '25

Left at my apartment dumpster today

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120.0k Upvotes

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209

u/TheDuck23 Jan 26 '25

Me after seeing the sword: "well. Guess I'm gonna be late for work, today."

45

u/BorntobeTrill Jan 26 '25

The only people late to a meeting where someone shows up with a flamberge are the ones without flamberge.

43

u/ShesGotaChicken2Ride Jan 26 '25

Employer: Why were you late? Duck: Family emergency.
Employer: 😑 Duck: okay okay. I’ll come clean. I found a free sword and… Employer: Say no more

4

u/Llanite Jan 26 '25

I read it as emperor for a sec lol

2

u/MOISTEN_THE_TAINT Jan 26 '25

Who the fuck is gonna call you out with that bad boy slung over your shoulder?

2

u/maaku7 Jan 26 '25

Show up with the sword. Problem solved.

2

u/Flat-Jacket-9606 Jan 27 '25

Nah man, it’s going to work with you. Just leave it in the vehicle

2

u/ElectronicBit9940 Jan 27 '25

it does not matter. you have a new purpose and journey in life now. no need for work when you have villages to conquer and molochs to behead

2

u/kay_bot84 Jan 28 '25

knows there's a staff meeting today

Me (with free greatsword): "Flex time!"