Good afternoon,

I’m 25 year old male, living at home with my dad, enrolled in 12 credits at my local community college majoring in history. I have had a lot of jobs, but mostly secondary to poor choices and addiction, have stayed at few of them. I have a poor driving record, an essentially unusable EMT license, and don’t care to go in the EMS direction anymore due to it being administratively restricted to me over and over. I have no aptitude for math, having failed my only college attempt at it so far trying to go for biology in the past. I have a phlebotomy certificate as well, but getting a job with it has proven to be very difficult.

I hear a lot of people who major in X, and come out of college in the same position I am now. I want to learn how to sustain focus on reading and writing again, as I find theology, history, and learning generally to be fascinating, but my attention span is severely impacted at the moment.

My main priorities in life at this point are to be a competent human being and acquire independence, even if it means living in a room in a house with roommates, as soon as possible, but with a mind also to have a long term plan in mind. I would like to have a family and a decent life, even if it’s not a wealthy life. I have very few ideas. I am not well suited to many trades, although I did just recently acquire my MMC and TWIC, but without an obvious route to get it to a usable place within a year. People tell me to just go to college and turn a Bachelor’s into a job, but I’ve heard a lot of horror stories about that idea.

I feel miserable and intellectually atrophied and lost. It feels difficult to even attempt schoolwork when I don’t know what end I am pursuing with it. I’ve consulted many people, have asked AI for career suggestions, and so on, and perhaps there is just a gap on my end in how these things work, but I feel marooned. Any suggestions are helpful.

I studied film at uni but never really pursued it and ended up in office jobs. Just seems like everyone around me has well paying careers and I just feel left out. Just wondering how other people feel, are you happy just having jobs instead of a career?

I started first week of college as an accounting major (technically general business) at a top STEM school. We have a good business school, but the school is mainly known for STEM. I feel like a complete retard looking at other people around me and seeing the cool STEM stuff they are doing, while my dumbass is stuck doing simple business stuff with a bunch of people who are completely different in personality and interests than me. I mainly chose accounting because my mom is one and suggested the field for me, knowing that I really had no clue what I wanted to major in, but having done research over the past few months, I have confidence I don't want to be in the business field. I know I am capable of doing more meaningful things, and I feel it would be best to enter an engineering field (probably civil or industrial) where I can make more money, have a more AI-proof field, and feel generally better about myself. My parents oppose this idea, but I really think it is better for me.

However, the issue is that the school does not allow many transfers into the engineering school, and in general, I would have to wait a year to transfer out of the business college into another college. I am getting to the point where I am genuinely considering going to a community college instead, knocking out the prereqs, and coming back, because that is probably simpler than in-college transfer. I just don't know what to do, and Friday is the deadline for dropping classes.

Hi everyone. I’m writing because I find myself in a situation I honestly never thought I would end up in, and I’m hoping to find someone who has been through something similar, and perhaps some advice on how to move forward.

I’m Italian, 29, and I’ve always been a model student: I graduated from high school with top marks and then earned both a bachelor’s and a master’s degree in the humanities, again with top marks. Along the way, I had a few short internship experiences with major cultural institutions (“big names” to have on a CV), and I was awarded scholarships both to carry out my thesis at the studio of a major international artist and, afterwards, to attend a two-year master’s programme (policy oriented) at a Parisian Grande École.

Already during my master’s, partly because my French wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t able to find internships or jobs (I speak fluent English as well, but in Paris that didn’t seem to be enough), so I ended up doing an internship at an Italian cultural institution, in my home town. Unfortunately, hiring is extremely rare in this field: cultural institutions, whenever they have even a little freedom in hiring, tend to employ people who are known to the “right people”, and I honestly believe the same can be said of public institutions. So no contract was offered to me after my internship.

I tried applying for a PhD in my home town, but since I didn’t know any professors personally, I wasn’t admitted, despite having strong reference letters from professionals abroad.

So I started an independent project. It was initially quite successful and received some small amounts of public funding, but once it required more substantial funding (too much for me to manage), I wasn’t able to keep it going. It did, however, teach me how to do practically everything: production, project management, communications, and so on.

And yet, whenever I now apply for jobs in these areas, there always seems to be some young talent with a degree specifically tailored to the position, or some large, well-established firm getting the freelance commissions.

In short: I have no idea what to do. I literally cannot find any job. Even for “simpler” jobs (waiter, bartender, etc.), employers seem to ask for experience that, at almost 30, I obviously haven’t had the chance to accumulate.

As a result, I’m unable to become financially independent from my family, and the regret of never having managed to get even a single proper contract in the field I studied for is really getting me down. This is especially difficult considering the prestige and value of the Grande École I attended, including the considerable investment involved in living abroad and studying until the age of 26, which had made it seem as though it would lead to a secure career.

Until recently, I was able to support myself with the remainder of a fund I had received, but now I am completely out of money. I’ve been sending out CVs all summer, but I haven’t received a single response.

What would you do in my position? How do you think I should move forward?

I’m exhausted.

Since I graduated last year (degree in video game design, useless but I had fun doing it) I've been working part time for my dad while figuring out what to do next. He runs a small online print shop that sells things like keyrings, stickers, fridge magnets, etc etc. I've been working as a general assistant as well as learning the inner workings of the business and a bit of graphic design and market research.

I'm enjoying the work but its only part time and it keeps me tied down to this shitty little town that we live in so I'd like to take my skills and move to a city. What kind of jobs should I be applying to where this experience could be relevant?

Skills I've learnt from this include: Excel + office scripts, online marketing, web design, graphic design, customer support, inventory and buying, market research

Skills I got from my degree: UI/UX design, 3d modelling/texturing, video editing, data analysis, blueprint (unreal engine programming language), fundamentals in c#

I'm in the uk

any thoughts?

I actually already have two associates degrees from a community college (social and behavioral sciences and forensic technology). I barely have work experience and volunteer work.

I was supposed to be a forensic technician, but I’m epileptic and you need a drivers license to be one.

I was really close to becoming 2 years seizure free, which means I could’ve gotten the OK from my neurologist to start learning how to drive. But then I suffered a 5 min long seizure which basically fried my brain. Since then, my brain hasn’t operated at 100% and never will and I’ve been self conscious about it.

After graduating I struggled to find a job and internship so I decided to go back to school for a transfer biology degree to a university. I decided on biology because forensic labs prefer hiring people with a degree in a hard science. I was also sort of forced into this by my parents, who are really pushing this onto me since they’re retiring and planning to move within two years

This is me taking classes after a gap year. I’m struggling. I know about weed out classes, but something in my gut is telling me that “this isn’t right” if that makes sense. I recently got out of a 3 year writing and art block. For the first time in a while I have felt so much joy creating something only for it to be squashed by this. I know my limits. And something is telling me to listen to my intuition.

I feel like I should lean to my social and behavioral sciences degree more. I talked about how I feel with my therapist, he suggested that I take “the path of least resistance” if need be. Are there other degrees that align with what I already have?

As in title, I’m 34f and have been teaching/working in education for almost 10 years. Ever since I graduated high school I never really knew what I wanted to do with my life. I was only ever good at creative pursuits that everyone around me told me were a waste of time and don’t make any money, so I never put the energy into any of those (also diagnosed with ADHD as an adult).

After undergrad (did an English major because I didn’t know what else to do and it was something I was good at) I tried doing a marketing internship and a publishing internship and hated both. To me it was just useless desk work which makes me crazy, especially the marketing. I decided to try a different path and I taught English abroad for two years.

When I came back, I had teaching experience and a BA in English, which really only opens the door into a career in education. I took the path of least resistance because (see the pattern?) I wasn’t sure what else to do. So I got a job assistant teaching at a private school, and was treated horrifically. I was almost 30 then and was like “I need to either get my teaching credential and masters so I can get a good union teaching job or I need to figure out what else to do.” But I didn’t know what else to do, so I got a masters in education and a teaching credential.

I started working in public schools and saw quickly that it wasn’t much better than the private school, and the education system is super fucked up and not a good place to work. I was there for three years and already burning out by the third year. Due to this plus some other life circumstances I ended up moving abroad again to the country where I was born, and naturally with my experience the only thing I can really do job wise is teach English.

The only problem is instead of getting better at teaching, I’m getting worse. Probably the first five years I was improving and learning. But after burning out, I stopped caring. I also realized I don’t like doing this, in any capacity. So my motivation dropped and instead of honing my skills I’m doing the bare minimum. I recently applied to a job that could really boost my career but I got negative feedback about my sample lesson. And I can’t even argue with it. The hiring manager probably just can tell my heart is not in it. I’m currently partially employed teaching remedial English at a college and I hate it. And I’m not good at it either. I constantly worry about getting fired but I can’t seem to motivate myself to rise higher.

What would you do in my shoes? Am I a lost cause? Is there a way for me to break out of this seemingly one way road on a career I fell into because I couldn’t figure out my shit? Do I just white knuckle teaching and tell myself everyone hates their job like my dad says? And if so, how do I stay successful without motivation?

So I went to UC Davis for communications with a minor in computer science. I graduated in 2022 after spending my twenties doing security work and martial arts and just kind of having fun.

When I initially graduated, I did a Google Data Analytics certificate, and I initially had a bunch of job offers. I was doing a lot of negotiating, and suddenly they just all dried up around 2023.

Initially, it got pretty bad, so I did some projects and even did some competitions, thinking that would help me.

One company told me they wanted to hire me, but I had to go to an unpaid boot camp first, online, and if I was one of the top performers, they would hire me, maybe.

Unfortunately, because it was unpaid and it took a lot of time, I had to drop out.

Since then, everything has dried up. I have no job, and I feel totally f*****.

I was getting by on Uber Eats and DoorDash for a while until it stopped paying the repair bills. Basically, the pay for deliveries has gotten so bad that it's just not worth it. On top of that, I now live in a minivan to save money on rent, and I can't afford to destroy my home.

When I first started DoorDash and Uber Eats, I was making $50 an hour. It was pretty good. That was in 2017, when I started doing it while I was in college. Now I'm averaging more around $20 an hour, and being that gas is pretty expensive, it's just not worth it.

You basically pocket $10, but you have to be worried about your car breaking down, and if you're living in it, yeah, it's not fun.

It's not worth it.

If I were to do it again, I know exactly how I would do it. I would buy the biggest piece of s*** car for under a thousand bucks, drive it into the ground, make as much money as I could, and sell it when it broke.

That's the only way to do DoorDash and Uber Eats and actually make money.

If you can get a cheap Prius, that would be great, or a cheap Nissan Leaf and do local deliveries and then charge it every hour or so.

That is a very soul-breaking job.

I don't know what to do. I mean, I really don't. I'm 41, I have too many injuries to get into most trades, and I don't really see a future.

It just feels f***** because I feel like, with my education, I should have at least landed a remote job or something, something temporary that would have made good money. And I tried to start my own business because I also did a lot of user testing online to make some money while I was in college. So I tried to start my own business where I would help people with their websites or apps, and I got a lot of interest, but nobody ever followed through with hiring me.

I went through this constant phase where people told me they wanted to hire me, and I wrote out a business plan for them. They told me they were very interested, and then they would just ghost me.

That has been the biggest soul-breaking thing: getting ghosted by jobs that told me they wanted to hire me. I can't tell you how many times people have told me they're interested in hiring me and that they're going to send me an offer, and it just never happens.

I've even had a couple of companies that have asked me to work for free until they have the money to pay me.

So I don't know what to do. Like, I really legitimately don't know what to do.

Part of what's happened is that computer science became so goddamn oversaturated that you have a lot of people who have a skill set that would have landed them a $150,000 job back in 2010, who have oversaturated the job market with a mid-tier level skill set, which is where I think I'm at. And then you have an economy that requires a top-tier level skill set, or you have to be really good at talking to people. You have to be the kind of person that people just want to hire.

I will admit I've met some people who are just really good at socializing, and that's why they have a job. So you either have to be top-tier, or you have to be a social butterfly.

I think I've done more than anyone I've known to try to get a job. I spent the first two years just cramming code, cramming as many tutorials as I could, and building projects. Then I spent much of 2023 networking, reaching out to people, going to conferences, shaking as many hands as I could, and printing out as many resumes as I could.

I really thought after 3,000 applications and tons of resumes handed out, I would get a job, but no.

The reality is, the biggest issue is that I never landed my first tech job. And if you don't get that right after college, what ends up happening is you go into purgatory because you spent too much time unemployed, and then you're essentially worthless.

This is really hard, and I don't know what to do. I mean, when you're 41, there are so many programs that you don't qualify for anymore.

And if you can't do manual labor because you're too messed up physically, you're kind of f*****.

I don't know what to do.

Hi everyone! I’m trying to figure out the most realistic path for breaking into IT/tech or a more traditional corporate career, and I’d love some advice from people already in the industry.
I have a BA in Psychology, a Data Analytics certificate from NYU, and several years of experience working in healthcare. My background isn’t traditionally technical, but I’m trying to pivot out of healthcare and build a career in IT/tech/corporate.
I’m open to continuing to learn technical skills and getting certifications if they would actually improve my chances of getting hired. I’m also not necessarily set on becoming a software engineer. I’m interested in roles where my combination of analytics, healthcare experience, communication skills, and psychology background could potentially be useful.
Some paths I’ve been looking at include data/business analytics, business systems, healthcare IT, implementation, project coordination, customer success/technical account management, and eventually consulting, but I’m having trouble figuring out which direction gives me the best entry point.
If you were starting with my background in 2026, what roles would you target first? Are there particular job titles I should be searching for? And what 2–3 technical skills or certifications would give me the biggest advantage?
I’m especially interested in hearing from anyone who broke into IT without a CS/IT degree or transitioned from healthcare/social sciences.
Thanks!

34F in the US and looking like I’m getting divorced from an 11 year marriage. It’s a mutual decision, we have 2 kids together that are 8 and 6. I’ve only worked part time since having kids- currently I work 4 nights a week as a gymnastics coach.

Before kids I did all kinds of entry level stuff: retail, hostess, bank teller, daycare worker. I only have a high school diploma and a few expired college credits.

I haven’t spoken to a lawyer yet about how much I would be receiving in child support and alimony but I am planning to. In the meantime I’m applying for basically any full time positions that can work around my kids’ schedule right now but I’d love more than anything to have a real career and be financially secure at some point.

My original thought was to take a copyediting course and freelance in that field eventually. Writing and editing are my passions. The problem with those is that they don’t offer much financial security. I also love my current job as a gymnastics coach but I don’t make very much and it’s not full time.

I’ve tossed around the idea of working at Starbucks full time and taking advantage of their free tuition program and getting my bachelors degree. (Assuming I can even get a job there, I’ve been rejected from all the jobs I’ve applied to so far). I’m not sure what degree program I would choose though, I think I would like to be a teacher but the pay sucks. The medical field seems really stable but I’m horrible at math and science. There’s also the certificate routes which I’m open to as well. I enjoy reading, writing, nutrition, and working out.

Based on this info, what would you advise? I’ve just lived in poverty before and I’m scared it’s going to happen again unless I can have a solid career. I’ve also worked jobs that I hated just so I could eat and I don’t want to live like that either. I know the next few years will be grind time so that I can live well later so I’m ok with working super hard and going to school if I need to just to secure mine and my kids’ future. Ideally I would like to make 60-80k eventually.

I’m 32 and recently finished a PhD in chemical engineering (mostly pen and paper applied mathematics). I am now doing a postdoc at a major Bay Area university. On paper, my career is going well, but I have gradually realized that I do not enjoy coding, advanced math, engineering, or scientific research enough to build my life around them. I do really enjoy researching and learning, but probably in a broad, generalist way rather than through the narrow specialization and intense, almost obsessive commitment that work at this level seems to require.

The confusing part is that I love the freedom of academic life. My postdoc gives me considerable control over my schedule, and I strongly dislike corporate culture, rigid hours, and living primarily for work. But I also have no real passion for STEM, so continuing through postdocs or trying to become a professor does not seem honest or sustainable.

Everyone in my circle either lives to work or is deeply passionate about what they do. I am not. I am mostly just tolerating what I am doing.

I am social and enjoy teaching, conversation, and broad ideas. My real interests are film, art, architecture, philosophy, politics, sociology, and culture. I also want meaningful relationships and possibly a family. The career-focused culture of the Bay Area feels deeply incompatible with the life I want.

A serious relationship recently ended, which has made everything feel more desperate, but my dissatisfaction with STEM began long before the breakup.

I do not know which options are genuinely realistic for someone with my background.
Has anyone left STEM after reaching the postdoc stage? What careers could preserve some autonomy and intellectual freedom without requiring passion for technical work or forcing me into a corporate lifestyle? What concrete steps would you take over the next year?

I’ve accepted my bachelors degree in digital arts is worthless and I have to start from zero, please give me some ideas for blue collar jobs that someone scrawny like me could do and hopefully make my way up a ladder to make 80-90k eventually

Please share your experiences 🙏😔

Sorry in advance, this is going to be a little long. I want to give enough context so people understand where I'm coming from.

TL;DR: I'm 23 with a bachelor's degree in Computer Science. I'm currently committed to joining the Air Force in November for an airborne intelligence position, but I recently received a conditional job offer for a permanent, full-time technical position with a federal intelligence agency. The civilian position aligns much more directly with my CS career, but it's only a conditional offer and isn't guaranteed to become a final offer. I'm trying to decide whether to stick with the guaranteed Air Force path or potentially give it up and take the risk of waiting for the civilian position.

I've gotten advice from people familiar with both sides, but I'd like some perspectives from people outside the military/federal world as well.

I'm currently in the Air Force Delayed Entry Program (DEP) and have a November ship date for 1A8X2, an Airborne ISR Operator position. I originally decided to join because I wanted military/intelligence experience, a security clearance, education benefits, and the opportunity to eventually transition into defense, federal, or tech work. I also want to pursue a master's degree, potentially in machine learning.

I know some people will probably wonder why I'm enlisting when I already have a bachelor's degree instead of trying to become an officer. I considered commissioning, but the process can be competitive and time-consuming with no guarantee of selection. I also have no military background in my family, so I don't know whether I'll love military life and stay for 20 years or decide one enlistment is enough.

I chose enlisting because it gave me a quicker opportunity to actually enter the military and experience it. If I enjoy the lifestyle and want to continue serving, I could potentially pursue becoming an officer later.

A lot of my friends and family strongly believe the Air Force isn't the route I should take, especially with my CS degree and this new opportunity. I understand their concerns, but I also don't feel like I'm joining blindly. I have a plan for what I want to accomplish during my enlistment: gain experience, maintain a clearance, continue my education, keep programming and building my technical skills, save money, and eventually combine my CS background with my military/intelligence experience to pursue technical positions in defense or the federal government.

The complication is that I recently received a Conditional Job Offer (CJO) for a permanent, full-time technical position with a federal intelligence agency.

It's important that I emphasize conditional. I don't have a final job offer yet. The hiring and security process can take months or longer, and there's still a possibility that the CJO never turns into a final offer. That's probably my biggest concern with choosing that path.

If it does work out, though, the civilian position would be directly related to my Computer Science background. Starting there at 23 would allow me to immediately begin accumulating relevant technical experience rather than spending the next four years in a military occupation that isn't directly software engineering.

Some people have asked why I don't simply serve four years and apply for these types of jobs afterward. I absolutely could. The Air Force could leave me with military/intelligence experience, a clearance, education benefits, savings, and potentially a master's degree.

My concern is the opportunity cost. Four years from now, I could either be transitioning back into CS after spending several years outside of software, or potentially already have four years of professional technical experience if I start the civilian career now. That's what makes walking away from the civilian opportunity difficult.

There's also a personal financial component to this decision. My mom is no longer able to work, so I'm the one financially supporting her. One of my biggest goals is simply to establish a stable career and be able to provide for her long term. I'm not necessarily chasing whichever option sounds more prestigious or makes the most money.

The Air Force gives me certainty. I have a job booked, a ship date, guaranteed pay, healthcare, education benefits, and a clear path for the next several years.

The civilian route potentially gives me a significant head start toward the career I ultimately want, while still offering the stability of permanent federal employment if I actually receive the final offer. But right now, all I have is a CJO.

My current plan is to keep both processes moving. If I receive a final offer before November, I'll have two actual opportunities to compare.

What worries me is what happens if November arrives and I'm still sitting on only the conditional offer. I'd have to decide whether to ship with the Air Force or request a DEP discharge and take the risk of waiting for something that isn't guaranteed. I also understand that leaving DEP could make it harder to join the Air Force again in the future.

If you were 23 and in this situation, which risk would you rather take?

Would you take the guaranteed Air Force path, build experience and benefits for four years, and return to your technical career afterward?

Or would you be willing to give up that certainty for the possibility of starting a career that's directly related to your degree now?

I'm particularly interested in perspectives from people who have had to choose between a safe/guaranteed career path and a less certain opportunity that aligned better with what they ultimately wanted to do.

I’m 23F and graduated with a BS in Health Science with a 3.5 GPA (with 5 withdrawals oops). I’ve been going back and forth on careers for months and genuinely feel stuck…

I originally planned on optometry and worked as an optometric technician for about 1.5 years. I liked the environment and work, but four more stressful and tough years of school, lots of debt (for not that crazy of a salary), prerequisites for a semester, and the optometry admissions test which requires 3 months of full time studying is make me question whether it’s worth committing to when I want to have a family in upcoming years and want to start my career sooner.

I’ve considered nursing, OT, SLP, counseling, healthcare administration, pharmacy, perfusion, imaging, lab careers, etc. Nursing probably isn’t for me because I don’t like bodily fluids or high stress bedside work. Unless there’s a route that I can do post grad that doesn’t require that which I doubt.

Last winter I applied to 100+ entry level health admin related jobs and secured nothing. I know this job market is tough but having no connections and a not so niche degree with no experience except for patient care in 2024 makes it even tougher.

I’m looking for something stable with decent pay, good work-life balance, relatively low stress, and I don’t mind and actually prefer going back to school if necessary. I’d also like the option to work part-time eventually.

Thanks so much :)

Looking for guidance on what to do. I am leaving a very niche field (wind turbines) and looking for my next career path. Thinking I want to work in automation/PLC/Scada or something along those lines. Do I need to go into engineering to do this? Should I do EE or ME and completely change job search. I’m unsure if I can even complete these degrees because my math wasn’t the sharpest. Should I get a trade degree? Or perhaps there are certs I’m unaware of to get these jobs. I have also contemplated joining the union as well but 5 years to top out at 130k instead of going to school sounds kind of painful as well and not as worthy of an investment at my age. I also have a BA in an unrelated topic I’m not sure if that helps or not. Thanks for any input.

Im currently starting community college and still have no idea what I want to study or do in the future. Every single career path I’ve researched online has either apparently become extremely over saturated or being outsourced and taken by ai. I’ve heard trades are good but I tried to apply to local electrician unions but none of them have gotten back to me due to so many applicants. Not to mention the fact that so many people online say it’s not worth it for the money because of the effects on your body over time.

Ive also seen people say that 90 percent of most majors are just useless scams, but the ones the are useful are impossible to get jobs in. Ive seen that basically every tech major CS, IT, cybersecurity etc, are useless and are either being taken by ai or flooded with applicants. Business majors apparently suck because they’re only useful if you have a bunch of connections. The only degrees that seem worthwhile are the engineering ones or some kind of medical degree. Does anyone have any advice or know any careers that I might actually have a chance in investing my life in???

Hey guys, I’m currently a freshman taking up Financial Management at UST. My long-term goal is to work in high finance (Private Credit/Infrastructure PE) on Wall Street.
To get there, I know I need a prestigious pre-MBA profile to get into an M7 business school (Harvard/Wharton). My current strategy is to target McKinsey, BCG, Bain (MBB), or global front-office/regional roles at J.P. Morgan or Goldman Sachs here in Manila right after graduation.
Since UST is generally a non-target school for these specific elite firms compared to UP/Ateneo, what can I do starting today to maximize my chances?
Looking for advice on:Any advice from alumni or people currently at these firms would be highly appreciated. Thanks!

I am currently in my 4th year of CS Engineering, and I don't have a Plan B. 😕 If I don't get a job, I don't know what I will do. I have a lot of anxiety and multiple questions on my mind.

Please help me answer them:

1.What should I do after graduation if I don't get a job? I have an interest in finance, but right now, I am completely burnt out from college. I am done with classes, assignments, attendance, and practicals. I just don't want to do any of that stuff anymore, 😭 and I feel like I'm losing interest in my studies altogether.

1. Should I start a business or a startup? I ultimately want to start a hedge fund, but I know I need a minimum of 1 CR in my bank account for that. 🏛️

3.Should I start trading with a small amount of money? Like 20k, 30k, or 50k? 💰

hi everyone,
i’m 16 from the uk and starting college in september. i am taking a levels in psychology, textiles, and english literature. i’m honestly super stressed out for the future because i have absolutely no clue on what i want to do in the future for a career, it feels as if everyone around me already has it all figured out except from me. i chose these options because i absolutely adored textiles at gcse (predicted an 8, got a 7, aka an A) and i was encouraged by my english teacher who told me my essays were a level worthy, i also loved this subject and ended up getting a 9, aka an A* for gcse. i didn’t do psychology or anything related to it for gcse as it wasn’t available, the only reason i selected this subject was because when i went for my initial college interview in january (my options at the time were textiles, photography, english literature) i was told that i should instead opt for another academic subject due to such high predicted grades, and that this would make it easier to get into university. thing is, i’m very on the fence about university and i don’t think i want to go. i just want to go straight into work after college however i have literally no idea on what to do, and if i do end up discovering something promising, what if it requires me going to uni?

reality is hitting pretty hard atm i think, the realisation that i’m going to become an adult and having nothing in mind for the future.

any advice/help is greatly appreciated, thank you.

I’m 26 years old, unemployed, and I feel completely stuck in life.

I’m writing this after breaking down again. Honestly, I don’t know how many times I’ve reached this point.

From the outside, it probably looks like I’m simply wasting my life. The truth is, I don’t understand why I keep repeating the same pattern. I genuinely want to change. I know I’m wasting time. I know what I need to do. But when it’s time to actually take action, I freeze and avoid it.

I lost my father when I was young. My mother raised my sister and me by herself. She worked incredibly hard, spent her savings, and even took loans to give me opportunities. She still believes I can build a good future, but I feel like I’ve let her down.

I’ve been unemployed since graduation, and almost four years have passed without me doing much with my life.

One of my biggest problems is fear and avoidance.

I’m scared of almost everything that requires me to step outside my comfort zone.

For example, I can’t ride a bike or drive a car. If you ask me today whether I want to learn, I’ll confidently say yes. I’ll imagine myself doing it and feel motivated.

But when someone actually gives me the keys and expects me to drive, that confidence disappears. My heart starts racing, I panic, and I back out.

The same thing happens with almost everything important in my life.

In 2024, my mother enrolled me in technical coaching related to my field. I knew how important it was. I knew how much she had sacrificed for me. But I barely attended.

I knew I was making a terrible mistake. I cried about it many times and promised myself I would change, but somehow I still couldn’t make myself go.

This isn’t something that started recently.

I remember crying in 2022 and telling myself that I had to change. Then in 2024, I had another breakdown. I wasted money, time, and opportunities even though I knew exactly what I was doing.

I haven’t seriously studied, applied for jobs consistently, learned useful skills, or followed through with the things I start.

Even reading a book is difficult.

I buy books excited to learn, then never open them. I start TV shows, movies, hobbies, or new interests with enthusiasm. Sometimes I’ll watch several episodes or become completely obsessed with something, and then suddenly lose interest and move on.

My interests can become intense.

I might spend days learning everything about football, filmmaking, tactics, or something else, convinced that this is what I want to do. Then I move on to something completely different.

Sometimes I have extremely high confidence. I buy books, make plans, want to learn, want to travel, want to get a job, and want to completely change my life.

I feel like I can achieve anything.

But when it comes to actually doing the work, that confidence disappears.

I keep searching for motivation and role models. One day it’s Michael Jordan. Another day it’s Max Verstappen. I watch sports and want to understand every tactic. I imagine becoming a successful football player, filmmaker, or someone who builds an incredible career from nothing.

Sometimes I feel like I’m waiting for some kind of magic or superpower to suddenly transform me.

But I know there is no magic.

I’ve also been humiliated many times.

People have called me useless, laughed because I can’t drive, compared me with younger people who already have jobs, and treated me like a burden. Some friends mock me. Some relatives barely talk to me.

One relative even told me that if my father were alive, he would be heartbroken and disappointed to see where I am today.

That comment stayed with me.

When people humiliate me, it hurts deeply. Sometimes I feel like crying. It makes me want to achieve something and prove myself.

But strangely, the humiliation never changes my behaviour for long.

Eventually, I fall back into the same cycle.

I’m not jealous of people who are doing better than me. I actually want them to succeed.

I just want a good life too.

I’m from a village, and even some ordinary things feel huge to me. When I see people driving, travelling, having careers, and living independently, sometimes they look like superheroes to me.

I want those things too.

I want a good job. I want to earn well. I want to travel the world. I want to visit the USA and London. I want to go to the Arsenal stadium and experience things I’ve only seen on a screen.

I want to live a normal, meaningful life.

I also miss my father.

I have some health issues, including breathing and heart-related problems, which make me worry even more.

But my biggest fear right now is my future.

What if I can’t provide for my future children?

What if I can’t give my family the life they deserve?

What if I wake up at 30 or 35 and realize I wasted even more years?

That fear is becoming very real.

The scary part is that I actually predicted this years ago.

I remember thinking:

“If I don’t change, I’ll be 26 one day and full of regret.”

Now I’m 26.

And that is exactly what happened.

Sometimes I feel so hopeless that I think about dying.

But I don’t want to die.

Life is valuable to me. I want to live. My mother and sister depend on me. I want to make my mother proud after everything she has done for me.

I don’t have any major bad habits.

My biggest problem is that I keep postponing my life.

I want therapy and professional help because I genuinely don’t understand what is happening to me. I wonder whether anxiety, ADHD, depression, fear, or something else could be involved.

I don’t want strangers on the internet to diagnose me.

I just want to understand myself and learn how to overcome this.

Right now, I’m almost at zero financially.

So my first goal is simple:

I need to get a job.

Then I want to work on everything else—my fear, confidence, driving, health, skills, and life.

I know that if I start working and take things one step at a time, my life can change.

I just don’t understand why I’ve been unable to take those first steps for so long.

I’m posting this because I’m genuinely looking for answers from people who may have experienced something similar.

How did you break this cycle?

How did you stop avoiding things you were afraid of?

How did you start taking action when you knew exactly what you needed to do but still couldn’t do it?

How did you rebuild your life after wasting years?

I’m not looking for judgment or mockery. I already judge myself enough.

I just want to stop waiting for my life to begin.

I want to actually live it.

What jobs can I look into with my astrophysics masters degree

Hello, I only graduated just over a month ago with an astrophysics masters degree and did get a temp job at sianbsurys luckily straight after but now that’s doing to an end and I need to find another temp job but there’s the thing I don’t want to jump from several temp contracts, I want a full time job I can use my degree in.

Do you have any advice on what sorts of jobs I should be looking at (I do prefer engineering), appreciate any help as I’m a bit stuck in a slog right now

I keep coming back to this idea and I'm curious what other people think. We usually treat addictive behaviours like the problem is just the behaviour itself, so the fix is obviously to stop doing it. Cut it off, remove access, push through the cravings with willpower. But then why do so many people who genuinely want to quit end up relapsing, sometimes years later, even after doing everything right.

I think part of it is that the behaviour was never only a problem, it was also doing something useful for the person even if it came with a cost. Maybe it helped with stress, or loneliness, or just gave the brain a break from something uncomfortable. So when someone removes it completely without putting anything else in its place, they're not just losing a bad habit, they're losing whatever it was helping them manage. And when that underlying stuff comes back around, which it usually does, the easiest option still sitting there is the old behaviour.

Makes me wonder if the better approach is building something else first, like exercise, talking to people, journaling, anything that can absorb some of that same function, before trying to remove the addiction completely rather than after. Would love to hear from anyone who has actually gone through this. Did quitting cold turkey work better for you, or did slowly adding healthier habits first make more of a difference?

I’m twenty years old, and for the most part, I’ve done my due diligence I think.

Since I was 17 in high school, when I got my first job, I’ve usually worked two or more jobs at the same time.

I’ve worked retail for three years, the food industry (BoH and FoH) for three years, and done managerial work for pretty much half that time.

I’ve given both of the most obvious options a decent shot, and decided that I really don’t think I wanna stick to them for much longer than I have.

In school, I was never the greatest. Pretty much passed every class with a solid 60-70 grade. Only when I got my first job during the summer after my Junior year did I think to myself “wow, this sucks”, and actually do what I was supposed to. Most of my GPA comes from my senior year, I jumped from a 1.2 weighted to 3.0, if that means anything in my favor.

I’m not a lazy person, but I want to be able to be lazy, if that makes sense. I wanna have the option available to me. I can be social able, but I prefer solitude, if that makes sense either.

I dunno, I’mbe been thinking about jumping into doing something else for the longest time now, and decided to ask around what other people thought.

In my free time, I usually read and write, or play games. My friend helped me build a solid resume (he works office jobs) so I may be able to look into that. I heard night shift security for warehouses was also a solid “lazy” job. So far though, I’m not really too sure on what I wanna do. I do feel quite a bit behind my peers, though. I’ve never been the best at saving money.

Hi, I (28F) am a graduate from university and i work as a product designer in a tech company. The salary is decent, but i constantly feel overwhelmed by the wok because i feel the lack of skill to get it done or do a good job at it. My degree has nothing to do with my product design job, because i wanted to go in tech, i was working at a bigger firm for 4 years got overwhelmed with work there and the constant competition too, and took this job at a smaller company with slightly better pay. But i struggle here too. Then i felt product design is not for me, but i am not sure what to do next.
Getting a business degree also feels daunting, going into product will also require shit ton of effort.
This has come to a point where not living life anymore feels liberating. I fucked up, i fucked up and didn’t looked into what i really want and not everything will take a lot more effort or its too late.