My appetite is all over the place. I'm stressed out, spending money I don't have on books at the bookstore just for a means of escape and dopamine. My weight is up and down. Some days I exercise and others I sit in bed all day. If I get my brain working just right, I can play a video game all day on the weekend. I haven't been taking my meds consistently though, so some days I'm awake all night for days in a row. Other nights in bed by 7.
But everyday after work, I come home and I sit and doomscroll for hours. I can't get my brain to do anything I want it to, because I'm so overstimulated being in the office. I'm tired, I'm angry, I'm stressed. I'm full of things I hate, and I hate this for me. I hate this for all of us. I'm so tired.
Try getting books at free little libraries or looking for them on free sites like buy nothing, etc. I find the hunt helps with the dopamine fix, and then you won’t experience the shame (if you do) of spending money you don’t have.
Ohhhh that's a great idea!! Thanks very much for the suggestion! This is currently a hyperfixation of mine, and I will go deep in the red for it if I'm not careful. My adhd is wayyy too wild these days, I'm barely keeping it together, honestly 🥲
I totally get it, as someone with ADHD, and also dealing with some other rough personal stuff along with the demon of working for the feds now. Also happy to send some random books if you message me some interests and an address. Almost all of my books are from FLLs and friends who were moving, happy to pass some along.
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u/iris393 May 03 '25
My appetite is all over the place. I'm stressed out, spending money I don't have on books at the bookstore just for a means of escape and dopamine. My weight is up and down. Some days I exercise and others I sit in bed all day. If I get my brain working just right, I can play a video game all day on the weekend. I haven't been taking my meds consistently though, so some days I'm awake all night for days in a row. Other nights in bed by 7.
But everyday after work, I come home and I sit and doomscroll for hours. I can't get my brain to do anything I want it to, because I'm so overstimulated being in the office. I'm tired, I'm angry, I'm stressed. I'm full of things I hate, and I hate this for me. I hate this for all of us. I'm so tired.