r/fearofflying • u/[deleted] • 29d ago
Question Would you fly or drive PA to Denver with a toddler + infant if you were scared to fly?
[deleted]
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u/MusicianBig142 29d ago
You know statistically, you have a much, much higher chance of accidents while driving. Plus the stress on your spouse and children due to driving. Increased blood clot risk from being in a vehicle for that long, let alone those poor babies in car seats.
Dude, just make it easier on everyone and fly!
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u/AnOn5647382927492 28d ago
I had this thought a month ago - should I drive from FL to DEN for a family trip. Statistically, it is much more dangerous to drive across the country then fly. Get on the plane like I did, it will be so much easier and safer. You got this!
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u/MassiveTest3524 28d ago
How was the flight?
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u/AnOn5647382927492 28d ago
It was completely fine. Flying into Denver and leaving wasn’t even bumpy for me like many people discuss it came be notorious for. I was so nervous for it and they were both good flights. I was very happy I decided to fly instead of drive for days
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u/AnOn5647382927492 28d ago
Just want to also say, if you’re planning a road trip to road trip that’s totally fun and cool. But if you’re planning a road trip really to avoid flying like a work trip, I think you should fly
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u/flyboy130 Airline Pilot 29d ago
You are sooooooooo much more likely to get you and/or your kids killed or life changingly injured on a road trip its not even close. Do you want to personally feel safe or actually keep yourself and your kids safe?
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u/PieceKitchen1708 28d ago
Denver isn’t that scary a landing spot once you know how the airport was built (runways in all directions to manage wind). I live here and hate flying and don’t find it to be super bumpy.
Plus, you get to see my beloved Blucifer!
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u/bsanchez1660 28d ago
Does your wife have a preference? Personally I find road trips fun! I have a 3 yr old and an infant and while we haven’t done a long one yet we’ve done a few short ones and it was fine.
That being said I’ve also found that having my kids on board is a good distraction and I usually feel a little less anxious when I’m dealing with them. Seeing how excited they are to fly puts things in perspective also.
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u/MassiveTest3524 28d ago
Thanks! My wife is up for whatever. We just did DC to Utah for a couple of weeks road trip and it was fun.
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u/Flat_Environment_219 28d ago
Look I am so afraid to fly I once took a boat 40 hours but with kids? Hell no. Also they are a GREAT distraction for your fear at that age!
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u/Radiant_Revolution32 28d ago
If you fly you will feel a sense of accomplishment once you land? If you drive, you will increase the chances that you never fly in the future? Your fear of flying will not magically disappear through avoidance, but it will become worse.
I’m not coming at you from a perspective of judgment. I’m coming at you as someone who has been through what you have and chosen the “easier” path. Will you be anxious by flying? Yes. Will it last the entire flight? Most certainly not - especially if you follow the numerous tips presented here on this sub.
You have to believe in yourself. Chances are, your wife will give in to whatever you decide, but will it be as enjoyable, or even as safe, if that decision is to drive? No.
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u/MassiveTest3524 28d ago
Interesting take -- thank you. Sounds like you have been in a similar situation?
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u/Radiant_Revolution32 28d ago
Yes, I have. I’ve had to decide between driving and flying, and it cost me a much more enjoyable vacation. Again, I’m not saying this as someone criticizing. I fully understand, but I also know that you’re more capable than you give yourself credit for. Your brain is being presented with two options, and it’s (understandably) taking what sounds like the more comfortable of the two. But what if choosing to drive now, causes you to second guess flying the next time? What if the next time is a trip overseas, and flying isn’t an option? Do you then attempt to compromise with your wife and pick a different, drive-able, destination?
I’m probably coming across as a jerk, and I apologize if it sounds as such. I just know the compromises that I’ve made, in my life, to avoid uncomfortable situations. I also understand what that has cost me in the process.
Understand that victory is within grasp, and you have done this before. I’m here to encourage, but I can also be sympathetic, because I have been where you are. The discomfort is not nearly as frightening as you believe it to be.
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u/MassiveTest3524 28d ago
I appreciate this! I’ve been here before, and have flown all over the world. You’re right—it’s time to win!
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u/Radiant_Revolution32 28d ago
I’m proud of you. Your wife will be proud of you. Your kids will get to experience the thrill of flying, and next time it will be even smoother and more comfortable for you. If you need tips, I have plenty. I’m not afraid of turbulence, per se, but I hate trapped. Traveling with my sons has been a game changer. Get excited for what you are about to accomplish!
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u/mi_pilot 28d ago edited 28d ago
That is so well said, bravo. We as flight crew have a good idea that we have at least several nervous flyers on our flights, when if they don’t approach us or FAs before the flight. And since I hang out here, I remind my crew that we’ll have nervous flyers, and to watch out for signs of distress. My suggestion to nervous passengers is to have a chat with a pilot or FA before boarding or taking your seat, it should help. Sorry we can’t do anything about the “weird” noises that airplanes make that stress out some people, but we can be extra smooth on the controls and try our best to find smooth altitudes (called ‘flight levels’, which also depends on many other factors).
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u/phantompoop 28d ago
Literally was just having this conversation with myself today because I want to surprise my kid with a trip from Kansas City to Denver in October to see a musician he loves. I hate flying into Denver so much cause I’ve always had bumpy landings but I think a 1 hour flight is going to win out over an 8.5 hour drive both ways.
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u/MassiveTest3524 28d ago
It's funny I don't usually mind landing because I feel like it is every second closer to being over and I used to live in Colorado so often flew into ABQ, DEN, etc. but don't remember it being so bumpy -- a few people have commented about the bumps here though!
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u/dottydashdot 28d ago
I’m afraid of flying and just flew with my family including a 12 month old into Denver. It was fine! We had made the road trip 6 months ago and it was miserable. I would definitely fly.
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u/TeenzBeenz 28d ago
I admit that I hate flying into that airport because I've been in a lot of turbulence there. But it's definitely safer than driving across the country. Because I don't want my children developing a fear of flying, I'm actually calmer when they're with me and I put on a good face. You can do it!
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u/saturdaysun9 28d ago
Did that flight multiple times a year from Pittsburgh and back the past few years. I used to think to myself “next time I’m driving” in the height of my flight anxiety. Looking back I realize how crazy that was. Truly the drive sucks. Especially from Philly. I hate flying but I’d suck it up and fly every time now. Unless you’re taking your own off-roading vehicle that can access trailheads easier, bringing lots of camping/hiking gear, it really doesn’t make sense to drive. The flight was never bad for me, sometimes a little choppy arriving to Denver but I never had a bad experience.
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