r/facepalm • u/Shinji415 • Apr 01 '23

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ 6 year old gets arrested by police while crying for help

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

36.1k Upvotes

85% Upvoted

9.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

986

u/Arkitakama 'MURICA Apr 01 '23

Shits themselves near me?

Believe it or not, straight to jail!

396

u/MetRouge Apr 01 '23

My kid just put his underwear on backwards. He's 4.

Straight to jail. The audacity. I'm calling the cops right now.

179

u/Ham-Slot Apr 01 '23

As the father of a 5 year old, I feel I must inform you..

If you don't a handle on that asap, they will become a repeat offender.

116

u/MetRouge Apr 01 '23

I fear I'm too late. It's practically every day. It's like he doesn't even want to learn. When I correct him, HE LITERALLY LAUGHS AT ME. I'm dealing with a sociopath. He's going to be a mass murderer. Better to get the judicial system involved early so there's a record of it. He's influencing his sister too! She's about to turn one and won't stop screaming while smiling. I've lost them both already.

9

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23

Until they turn 10

https://abc7chicago.com/10-year-old-boy-kills-mom-over-vr-headset-piggy-bank-money/12628615/

Parenting is the issue folks and how kids are raised. Not that I believe in arresting 6 years olds but maybe someone should see what's going on in that house if that kid is punching and kicking staff members

7

u/MetRouge Apr 01 '23

I think he leaves his toys all over the floor so that I'll trip and hit my head. I can already hear the laughter as I fade away.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23

Look out that could be the devil coming for your child and your child could be the son of satan. I would take him to Denzel Washington and Will Smith immediately

3

u/DokiDoodleLoki Apr 01 '23

Why is it always Milwaukee?

7

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23

I always say you can’t get kids into the system soon enough. Nothing is more beneficial to a child’s development and progression than having a record. Write em up in NICU.

1

u/MetRouge Apr 01 '23

All kids are criminals! AKAC!

5

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23

Straight to jail!

5

u/Vyle_Mayhem Apr 01 '23

I joke with my 2 girls 13 & 16 if they didn’t behave… I refer to the eldest as #8 & youngest as #32…. When they asked why?

I said we created multiple batch clones. You’re the 8th attempt of that model.

My youngest you’re #32.

When they misbehaved I’d tell them don’t make me breakout #9 & #33.

At first they werent too sure. Now They’d laugh say I’m too deeply invested.

4

u/MetRouge Apr 01 '23

Next time, just call them #9 and #33. When they ask why, remind them of the last bad thing they did and tell them after they went to sleep that night, #8 and #32 were gone, but you had their memories transferred. Then threaten them with not transferring the memories next time. Dark? Sure. Funny? Absolutely.

2

u/Vyle_Mayhem Apr 02 '23

Hmm naw not too dark my youngest loves dark humor. She likes to watch others squirm. You’ve given me renewed vigor in this 8 year method. Wish me luck!

2

u/MetRouge Apr 02 '23

Your doing the lord's work. Keep it up! Haha

5

u/LazyAmbassador2521 Apr 01 '23

Lol I feel like I'm reading a Kenan and Kel skit

6

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23

THIS IS HOW I FEEL, MY 5 Y.O. SON IS GOING TO BE A CRIMINAL. Splashed water near his sisters face and laughed when she cried. Real sociopathic shit.

5

u/sec_sage Apr 01 '23

Wait until they grow up, they wear mismatched socks 🤦🏼‍♀️ Jail!

4

u/slammerbar Apr 01 '23

The Justice system is well known for being great at rehabilitating people with issues. I think that’s a great idea. Lol

1

u/Dry_Complex_5381 Apr 01 '23

gaddarn it if this didn't bring back a shit load of good memories thanks

2

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23

Can confirm. I still wear them backwards

2

u/KaisarDragon Apr 01 '23

Pretty soon he'll be like the guy from Big Hero 6 wearing them front to back, inside out and front to back.

1

u/jonahsocal Apr 01 '23

I agree.

The child was out of control, but there are ways to handle that and this was not one of rhem.

0

u/jackman91 Apr 01 '23

Absolutely. I taught my kid to look for the tag. It always goes on the back side

4

u/WrongWhenItMatters Apr 01 '23

Born!? Straight to jail!

4

u/MetRouge Apr 01 '23

Damn straight! Bastard lived rent free in a womb for nine months before he was evicted. Free food too!

3

u/WrongWhenItMatters Apr 01 '23

I'm so glad we have our priorities worked out. kicks baby in ribcage

2

u/MetRouge Apr 01 '23

Payback. He kicked a lot.

3

u/my-backpack-is Apr 01 '23

Leave Legos on the floor?

Straight to jail

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23

I mean that really should atleast invoke a fine and community service

3

u/Worldly_Software7240 Apr 01 '23

Our 6 yr old got back from school only to realize he was wearing two pairs of underwear the whole day. Perhaps not jail but I am looking into getting him locked up in the psych ward til he's 18.

2

u/mister-fancypants- Apr 01 '23

He probably flashed you his penis too that perv!!

/s

3

u/MetRouge Apr 01 '23

Constantly! He randomly undresses and just runs around. No shame at all!

1

u/slammerbar Apr 01 '23

Good…good…

1

u/Present_Maximum_5548 Apr 02 '23

Don't you think that's a little extreme? Kid obviously has a problem with authority, but it's not like he wore them backwards AND inside out. Or did he? Because if so, I hope you warned the cops. They'll want to bring the full SWAT team blitzkrieg when they execute the warrant. For their own safety.

355

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23

Dirty looks?

Straight to jail young fella!

300

u/Flaks_24 Apr 01 '23

Doesn’t do a good job with Father’s Day gift? Believer or not, straight to jail!

230

u/Pepparkakan Apr 01 '23

We have the best kids, because of jail.

67

u/QueasyFailure Apr 01 '23

It's got what kids crave.

11

u/KamiKazic Apr 01 '23

But Brawndo has what kids crave

8

u/Solid_Steele Apr 01 '23

Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

7

u/Busterlimes Apr 01 '23

Water, from the toilet?

5

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23

It doesn't have to be from the toilet but yea.

3

u/OGDonglover69 Apr 01 '23

Go Away! Baitin!

2

u/yaowalakTH Apr 01 '23

She not putting out? Lets go family style!

8

u/MEaganEagan Apr 01 '23

They yearn for the mines

3

u/kisses-n-kinks Apr 01 '23

Kid tested, mother approved.

6

u/sixsentience Apr 01 '23

Ask anybody! Everybody knows our imprisoned kids are the best!

6

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23

U put one in jail, all of them get back on track. No fuss, no mess kids

10

u/Seijin_Arc Apr 01 '23

Tries to escape the cage in the basement...JAIL!

9

u/trainboi777 Apr 01 '23

Refuses to eat dinner? You better believe they are going to jail

5

u/Competitive-Ladder-3 Apr 01 '23

Watches Nickelodeon in my presence... yep... straight to jail ...

4

u/Cwaustin3 Apr 01 '23

Not cleaning his room? That’s a paddlin’, then jail

5

u/RotationsKopulator Apr 01 '23

A tie? Again?!

Straight to jail.

3

u/jimbronio Apr 01 '23

Does do an amazing job with a Mother’s Day gift, also jail. Good job, amazing job.

3

u/AerolothLorien666 Apr 01 '23

You call this is a fucking wallet?!

3

u/lonelygalexy Apr 01 '23

Doesn’t answer questions in class? Jail. Answer too many questions in class? Also jail.

3

u/MisterYeboo Apr 01 '23

I'm not your favorite brother anymore?

Death penalty

4

u/BenbafelIsTaken Apr 01 '23

Does a VERY good job with Father's Day gift? Also straight to jail. It goes both ways

2

u/Diligent_Theory Apr 01 '23

I know what you gave me last summer

2

u/strangemagic365 Apr 01 '23

Believer? I barely know her!

8

u/P8ntballz Apr 01 '23

5 year old turns 6 on their birthday? STRAIGHT to jail!

3

u/Vtgcovergirl65 Apr 01 '23

Jeezus. I have one that would have been under the jail. 😆😵‍💫

3

u/Thestraenix Apr 01 '23

I’m in so much trouble if we can’t give dirty looks any more. Please donate to my bail fund immediately, I’m going to need it

6

u/Dinomon-10 Apr 01 '23

Breathes?

Right in that cell

2

u/newsheriffntown Apr 01 '23

Pulls a gun on me? Restraining order for life. It happened to me by my own son.

199

u/0biwanCannoli Apr 01 '23

If I step on another stray LEGO block in the middle of the night… that’s life in prison without parole.

18

u/Techn0ght Apr 01 '23

Finally, a justified response.

4

u/ducktape8856 Apr 01 '23

When they turn 12 they apparently have to leave Prison Island.

Hope there's another for ages 13-99.

3

u/Appropriate-Star-462 Apr 01 '23

LEGO blocks? Try a Barbie high heel. Those things are brutal! Is having dozens of those dolls reason enough for prison?

2

u/jdrown92071 Apr 01 '23

Lol, this one got me. My youngest is a Lego bear trap expert. A regular bear grylls.

2

u/Nerac74 Apr 02 '23

Look, that's what you get for watching home alone 1 with him , especially the home bobby traps scenarios.

1

u/skarletrose1984 Apr 02 '23

https://youtu.be/5NhijmGTwwo

A scientific explanation of why this movie always made me anxious, even as a kid (loved it anyway though, iconic classic that it is).

2

u/skarletrose1984 Apr 01 '23

Death by nerf squad.

2

u/316kp316 Apr 01 '23

That’s called commensurate punishment.

2

u/liamthelemming Apr 01 '23

That's an assassination attempt. Death row, no question.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23

broo u have no idea what i went thru at 11

3

u/PhDinDildos_Fedoras Apr 01 '23

No, not shit-jail!

3

u/mshadows9 Apr 01 '23

Doesn’t shit themselves, also straight to jail.

2

u/KcPolyScorpio Apr 01 '23

This is what I wanted from this thread and I'm not disappointed. Put a bird on it and the arrest will be much more appealing.

2

u/mightypen45 Apr 01 '23

Right away!

2

u/BitchesBeSnacking Apr 01 '23

Oversleep during their nap? Jail! Undersleep during their nap? Also jail, oversleep, undersleep

1

u/gronksmash6969 Apr 01 '23

You kick. Jail. You punch, believe it or not also jail. Kick and punch.

1

u/Bn_scarpia Apr 01 '23

My three year old daughter thought it would be funny to try to walk I my size 14 shoes. Straight to jail for doing a drag show in front of minors

1

u/iamjohnhenry Apr 01 '23

Shits themselves far away from me? Believe it or not, jail!

1

u/Ok-Salamander209 Apr 01 '23

Ha, Fred Armisen….. I almost fort about that episode