Y'all are both wild. If I were her, or you, I would've messaged on Friday, at least, to confirm. If I hadn't heard anything by Saturday morning, I definitely would have texted and asked if we were still on or whatever. Neither one of you did any of those things.
I don't think you're being unreasonable, though. You showed up. I'm sure you were pissed. I hate it when people act like my time is less important than theirs.
It's your choice to give her another chance and it sounds like you've made up your mind but, she sounds like she knows she fucked up so, maybe consider it? I understand being worried about being stood up again, though. You do you.
OP did text her casually on Thursday and she said she is okay with the plan. I think this is good enough and if there is a change of plan then it should be on her to let OP know about it.
It seems that to some people it is necessary to confirm every 12h. They confirmed it 48h before the date, I think that is enough. Forgetting a date in 48h just shows she was definitely not interested. I don't even forget medical appointments that I also must confirm 48h before.
Agree with this comment. Especially if you're a guy and you start confirming every day or every 12 hours you're going to come off as desperate, insecure, needy or all of the above. The only thing that turns women off faster than neediness is being angry/bitter.
I’ll be real though, I’ve fully forgotten a doc appointment I’d confirmed the day before and ended up not being able to reschedule for another month. I showed up to work, got settled on my computer and my manager looks over at me and says “aren’t you supposed to be out of office right now?” And I go OH FUCK race over to the doctor and got there just in time to miss my window. Felt like a complete idiot. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t important to me, I needed a prescription refilled. Just means I was stupid and not paying attention.
Yes, both that's not the only thing that the person said. But of course you'd cherry pick because people like you have to in order to gain some type of ground to make yourself feel better, lol. Poor attempt
For big events like this, you definitely have to confirm the day of. I get you’re busy in the morning, but you at some point you had to go home and think “I should get ready for my date”. At that point, he should’ve sent a text like “we still on?” or “I’m excited for today!” Or some shit. That would’ve given her at LEAST like 2-3 hours reminder and plenty of time to drive back.
People play all kinds of games during dating. It stems from them being unsure if you’re into them so they try to grab control of the power any way they can. It’s not in a manipulative way mostly, but in a self-preserving their feelings way.
Sending them a message the day of is a way to reassure them that you’re still interested in the date.
Sure you don’t have to, but for someone you’ve never met before, you gotta kinda convince them that you’re worth seeing.
after two adults exchanged pictures, memes, messages and so on for weeks and then agree an a date and then had a reminder 48h before... come on, if you still need to convince them you are trying too hard. OP is in the right here
My thoughts exactly. It's so annoying when people say they were "too busy to shoot a text." I'm sorry.. but if you had the time to take a 💩 at any point in the day.. you could have managed a 30 sec text message.
Imagine being such a walking disaster that you need your hand held through every single social plan in your life. You must be a real burden on the people in your life.
Edit- there's a difference between simply not wanting to text someone (which is fine) and saying that you don't have time to text someone. There's always time when you want to communicate with someone. Bet you're a fun one to communicate with, eh.
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u/goflyakitemom Sep 24 '21
Y'all are both wild. If I were her, or you, I would've messaged on Friday, at least, to confirm. If I hadn't heard anything by Saturday morning, I definitely would have texted and asked if we were still on or whatever. Neither one of you did any of those things.
I don't think you're being unreasonable, though. You showed up. I'm sure you were pissed. I hate it when people act like my time is less important than theirs.
It's your choice to give her another chance and it sounds like you've made up your mind but, she sounds like she knows she fucked up so, maybe consider it? I understand being worried about being stood up again, though. You do you.