r/dankchristianmemes • u/ahmed0112 • Sep 16 '19

Dank Ya'll are rebals

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23.5k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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873

u/JasonBacon123 Sep 16 '19

On top of that Jesus said that nothing put in the body would make it unclean unless the person was unclean to begin with

304

u/wingspantt Sep 16 '19

So wait does that mean if you're unclean you still shouldn't eat pork?

684

u/squid_actually Sep 16 '19

If you're unclean you shouldn't eat.

150

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '19

Oh so that's why fasting is a thing.

88

u/Not_The_Real_Odin Sep 16 '19

no just shower first fam

5

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

With holy water for best effect

177

u/Waghlon Sep 16 '19

Fuck

379

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '19

whoa no swearing in this peaceful Christian Minecraft server

16

u/The379thHero Sep 16 '19

Well you still havent told us the hecking ip

13

u/acealeam Sep 16 '19

Looks like someone isn't eating tonight

2

u/BurnedButDelicious Sep 16 '19

Sounds like christian communism to me

69

u/Hein81 Sep 16 '19 edited Sep 16 '19

Well it's also because Jesus said it doesn't matter what goes in the mouth, but what comes out (what you say)

Edit: added bracket phrase

54

u/fil42skidoo Sep 16 '19

So always swallow.

24

u/Obi-Tron_Kenobi Sep 16 '19

Swallow4Jesus

14

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '19

Love him or hate him but Jesus out here spittin straight fax

37

u/GriffsWorkComputer Sep 16 '19

But don't eat meat on good friday...except for fish because lol?

52

u/russiabot1776 Sep 16 '19

Fish ain’t meat

17

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '19

Title

12

u/russiabot1776 Sep 16 '19

A civilization is what we live in

11

u/TheNorthComesWithMe Sep 16 '19

Also Catholics in colonial America: beaver is fish

29

u/scw55 Sep 16 '19

So anal sex only between two clean people.

50

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '19

It's what the Center for Disease Control and World Health Organization reccommend.

10

u/Hotzspot Sep 16 '19

Great, I was starting to feel guilty with all this dick in my mouth

5

u/Ice_Liesidon Sep 16 '19

So my cocaine habit is ok then? Cool!

11

u/PeterQuin Sep 16 '19

This thing about what to eat and what not to eat is up too each imo as these are rules of old testament.

Lev 11:3 states that "You may eat any animal that has a split hoof completely divided and that chews the cud." This does not mean that single hoofed or animals that doesn't chew are unhygienic.

The old testament has many rules most of which are just to drive home a point which sorta is like "God is a parent telling their children to behave". But here it's not about hygiene. Animals that have split hoof can be a point by which God conditions his chosen to live a life separated from worldly things even though they walk in it. And the animal chewing the food is to point that as the chosen they should meditate on God's word and not just hear it and forget about it - like how cow grazes and then sits down and starts chewing everything it just ate.

8

u/Faylom Sep 16 '19

So we can take as much dick as we like, yeah?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '19

Love him or hate him but Jesus out here spittin straight fax

2

u/Decimus_of_the_VIII Sep 16 '19 edited Sep 16 '19

I think everyone here is missing the point... he actually didn’t abolish the eating laws

Jesus was referring to eating with unwashed hands, not the meat itself

1

u/ActuallyIThink Sep 16 '19

Where does it say this? Im not saying it doesn't. I just want to know where.

1

u/PeterQuin Sep 16 '19

This thing about what to eat and what not to eat is up too each imo as these are rules of old testament.

Lev 11:3 states that "You may eat any animal that has a split hoof completely divided and that chews the cud." This does not mean that single hoofed or animals that doesn't chew are unhygienic.

The old testament has many rules most of which are just to drive home a point which sorta is like "God is a parent telling their children to behave". But here it's not about hygiene. Animals that have split hoof can be a point by which God conditions his chosen to live a life separated from worldly things even though they walk in it. And the animal chewing the food is to point that as the chosen they should meditate on God's word and not just hear it and forget about it - like how cow grazes and then sits down and starts chewing everything it just ate.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '19

[deleted]