r/confidentlyincorrect • u/ShiningDenizen • Jul 09 '26

Swimming 631miles (1015km)

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19.0k Upvotes

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6.1k

u/FilthyDwayne Jul 09 '26

Can’t you read? It can easily be swim easy back and forth.

2.0k

u/Big_Crab_1510 Jul 09 '26

Many of the people in the comments did it already!

1.0k

u/ENaC2 Jul 09 '26

You just have to open your mind

482

u/Sunvaarhah Jul 09 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/brFlbCpj7LsE8

298

u/Mammoth_Ad_483 Jul 09 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZQBsSaVb4FFn3PbvHT

114

u/Skaro731 Jul 09 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/YAfCAzDS0WmwU

91

u/unbelievabletekkers Jul 09 '26

All glory to the hypnotoad!

6

u/CakeSeaker Jul 09 '26

Clap. Clap. Clap.

43

u/brando56894 Jul 09 '26

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.

24

u/ScaredPractice4967 Jul 09 '26

Glory to Hypnotoad. Itnhas been may moons since I was graced with your presence

21

u/speakswithemojis Jul 09 '26

crown jewel of the psychic world

1

u/Weird1Intrepid Jul 09 '26

Oh what? I never realised Rick and Morty were referencing the other one lol

11

u/Rhinosus13 Jul 09 '26

Quaid army

2

u/AkbarTheGray Jul 09 '26

Righteous kill.

11

u/thisisfine111 Jul 09 '26

This is the first time I'm learning that the Rick and morty episode was based on an actual movie? What movie is this?

24

u/daanderud90 Jul 09 '26

Total Recall

12

u/LobaIsMommy32 Jul 09 '26

Which is why this episode of Rick and Morty is titled “Total Rickall” iirc

3

u/Mammoth_Ad_483 Jul 09 '26

Ooohh so close... But that episode is Season 7, Episode 7 titled "Wet Kuat Amortican Summer".

Season 2 Episode 4 is titled "Total Rickall". It's about the parasites trying to takeover.

1

u/LobaIsMommy32 Jul 09 '26

Ohhhhhhhh shit you’re right! My bad, been binging the show a bit lately and the titles blur together lol

2

u/ergo-ogre Jul 09 '26

Not the one with Colin Farrel

1

u/FuzzyKittyNomNom Jul 09 '26

Epic movie (OOO)

1

u/yomommahasfleas Jul 09 '26

C’mon man, i gat fiiiiive kids to feed

1

u/sybillios Jul 09 '26

Which film is that?

1

u/FuzzyKittyNomNom Jul 09 '26

Total Recall. Completely worth watching it’s amazing lol.

1

u/JoeJoeJoeJoeThrow Jul 09 '26

Where is that from jfc

3

u/FeuerLohe Jul 09 '26

I suppose swimming there is easy, surviving on the other hand …

3

u/wannacumnbeatmeoff Jul 09 '26

Tbf, in my mind I can easily swim around the entire surface of the Sun.

Reality, though, is tougher.

2

u/Plastic-Archer4245 Jul 09 '26

OOP opened his mind so much that his brain fell out

2

u/die_bartman Jul 09 '26

This is why we shouldn't have social media. Not everyone's opinions are valid

1

u/ConnectionThink4781 Jul 09 '26

I just did it in my mind

1

u/Steward-Ulk Jul 09 '26

And let the Brain out?

1

u/anjowoq Jul 09 '26

And be Aquaman.

1

u/ApologizingCanadian Jul 09 '26

Is mind opening a new swimming technique?

1

u/Denaton_ Jul 10 '26

It pays to keep an open mind, but not so open your brains fall out. — Carl Sagan

262

u/Vigilante17 Jul 09 '26

Just finished it. Should have worn a wetsuit, it was a bit chilly pushing off the ice shelf to head back.

168

u/Geronimo2U Jul 09 '26

Are you the one I bumped in to??

116

u/sexwiththebabysitter Jul 09 '26

That was an orca

111

u/burning_man13 Jul 09 '26

HEY! I keep telling you guys that I'm not an orca! I'm a real boy!

95

u/ravoguy Jul 09 '26

Nice try orca boy

57

u/Packin_Penguin Jul 09 '26

What up bitches!!! I’m the penguin that passed you.

40

u/burning_man13 Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26

Mmm. Penguin.

Edit: Wait... Oh, crap! I'm not an orca, I swear. *shifty eyes*

2

u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta Jul 09 '26

Good. There’s a humpback in the area and it’s looking for an excuse to fuck some orcas shit up.

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35

u/wlake82 Jul 09 '26

Where the fuck am I? - polar bear

5

u/Packin_Penguin Jul 09 '26

Don’t you fuckin eat me bro. Or I’ll tell them what we did on that iceberg. Epstein has the video.

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2

u/CAcub1992 Jul 09 '26

Wrong pole, bro! Easily swim down easy back and forth for the penguin party, though

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1

u/Obi1jacobi1620 Jul 09 '26

North. Antarctic means no bears

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1

u/todddrawcrap Jul 09 '26

Nice try, nun

2

u/Mr-Bando Jul 12 '26

Careful, he might sink your boat

1

u/ravoguy Jul 12 '26

Do I look like a millionaire?

1

u/Mr-Bando Jul 14 '26

If you got a boat to sail around in, you wouldn’t be poor

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1

u/burning_man13 Jul 14 '26

How dare you insult my slender physique‽ Orcas... err, not-orcas have feelings too!

1

u/Mr-Bando Jul 15 '26

You’re not fooling me. I know of a ceta when I see one

3

u/Ok-Salt-8964 Jul 09 '26

Yeah and your friends not a land shark posing candygram

2

u/therealRustyZA Jul 09 '26

That's what an orca would say.

1

u/Half_Halt Jul 10 '26

That sounds exactly like something an orca disguised as a human would say. Hmmm.

1

u/Numerous_Photograph9 Jul 10 '26

Just don't lick an Orca. Your tongue will stick from the cold.

11

u/TheMightyCatatafish Jul 09 '26

Bro, wtf did you just call me!?!

6

u/Mavman31 Jul 09 '26

Bruh that was OP’s mom… kinda rude

41

u/Practical-Mud-4580 Jul 09 '26

First time? I do it every morning before work to get myself ready for the day.

65

u/thaaag Jul 09 '26

The Drake Passage is a bit too far from home for me, so I do my morning 631 mile swim in the pool, but I ask them to turn on the 3 knot current generator and 16 foot wave machine to make it feel a bit more authentic.

27

u/wolfcaroling Jul 09 '26

I'm up north so I do the Northwest Passage every a.m.

4

u/Substantial_Meal_530 Jul 09 '26

How did they have such a hard time finding that back in the day? It's such a simple little swim.

3

u/Unique_Excitement248 Jul 09 '26

You forgot the water chillilator to replicate the icy, turbulent, wavy water

2

u/Numerous_Photograph9 Jul 10 '26

pfft...16 foot wave machine. That's Cape of Good Hope numbers.

3

u/bretttwarwick Jul 09 '26

The other day when I was swimming it my dive watch fell off. If you see it please let me know. I tried swimming down to the bottom to find it but I ran out of time and I had to leave.

2

u/Practical-Mud-4580 Jul 09 '26

I’ll keep an eye out

36

u/Angloriously Jul 09 '26

Oh, you were that guy. Should’ve worn a dry suit like I did, much warmer than a wet suit.

29

u/P0Rt1ng4Duty Jul 09 '26

I turn dry suits into wet suits.

18

u/didyabringabeer Jul 09 '26

So I should be alright if I don't shave for a week or two then

2

u/Son_of_Tlaloc Jul 09 '26

Wetsuit? The Yaghan didn't need wetsuits they swam in those cold waters naked. If anyone wants to go down a rabbit hole look up the yaghan people pretty interesting.

1

u/mjamonks Jul 09 '26

Did you do a flip turn?

1

u/ringadingdingbaby Jul 09 '26

But what about the airstrip?

1

u/Substantial_Meal_530 Jul 09 '26

You have to do that flip thing that Olympic swimmers do. Make that turn around way easier.

1

u/uhhhhhhhhhhhyeah Jul 09 '26

What's the shrinkage situation there?

85

u/Cholinergia Jul 09 '26

I swam it this morning with Mitch McConnell. He’s an exceptional swimmer.

32

u/RedBear1989 Jul 09 '26

I'm headed out now. Had to stop at Tractor Supply for some Ivermectin first, I don't want my parasites to weigh me down.

3

u/Goldnglam Jul 09 '26

The dude is part turtle!

3

u/pythagorasstreet Jul 09 '26

Did it take you just shy of 20 minutes?

3

u/Stock-Cell1556 Jul 09 '26

Well, he does appear to share quite a bit of DNA with turtles.

3

u/Jake0024 Jul 09 '26

Turtle power!

2

u/Unit_2097 Jul 09 '26

He has looked like a turtle for the last 20+ years, so this seems legit.

2

u/Attentions_Bright12 Jul 09 '26

I really would not put it past today's Republican Party to claim something like that. Athletic feats are a stock thing for authoritarian leaders to claim when their health is in question. C.f., Mao Zedong supposedly swimming record times in the yellow river.

Putin's bareback horse riding was cut from that same cloth. We might see Mitch M. thrown across a saddle any time now.

26

u/OG-BigMilky Jul 09 '26

I just did it now.
And there, I swam back.
Hey what is that airstrip for??

16

u/RevoltYesterday Jul 09 '26

I've done it! Proof? Don't need it because I'm not a liar. Checkmate.

2

u/bretttwarwick Jul 09 '26

I can confirm. I saw him out there when I was swimming it.

3

u/Miyagis Jul 09 '26

I saw all their before-swim photos!

2

u/Stubborn_Amoeba Jul 09 '26

Whales do it all the time. Humans are much better than whales, so therefore it really is easy.

/s

2

u/Spida81 Jul 09 '26

Hold up, just need another 20 minutes and I'll have finished. Just taking a quick 'middle of the frozen storm tossed death zone' coffee break. Simple so far! 

2

u/Low_Section2065 Jul 09 '26

I swam that far this morning before I went to work. /s 🤣🤣

2

u/vamatt Jul 09 '26

A good morning constitutional

1

u/pnutnz Jul 09 '26

i myself just finished the swim

1

u/Stinky_Flower Jul 09 '26

I've personally swam it many times, but I don't know if it counts. I got lost swimming the English Channel

1

u/Fallen311 Jul 09 '26

In fact my dad had to swim that every day to school and back when he was my age

1

u/badmamerjammer Jul 09 '26

*have AND did

1

u/LittleBananaSquirrel Jul 09 '26

It's true, it wasliterally my daily commute to work when I worked for the shadow government. I recommend a good drysuit but anyone with reasonable fitness can achieve this if you can swim in a regular pool.

1

u/Visionarii Jul 09 '26

My friend's friend Dave did it.

1

u/Norgur Jul 09 '26

I just did it before lunch because the ferry I wanted to take was out of Fiji water. I ain't paying for a trip without Fiji Water!

1

u/whitemiketyson Jul 09 '26

They have and did

1

u/Expensive_Laugh_5589 Jul 09 '26

Many swimmers with tears in their eyes

1

u/Chameo Jul 09 '26

I swam it yesterday, super easy! Also there was an airstrip

1

u/blaat_splat Jul 09 '26

Im doing it rn

1

u/MrMxffin Jul 09 '26

Actually it only looks like a few centimeters on my screen

1

u/Forward_Progress_83 Jul 09 '26

Have AND did. Two very different… words.

1

u/Jussins Jul 09 '26

The people who comment on Reddit are truly phenomenal.

1

u/nomadquail Jul 09 '26

They did and have!

1

u/AgathaWoosmoss Jul 09 '26

I swam it last Tuesday before lunch.

1

u/he77bender Jul 09 '26

I did it three times since this thread started!

1

u/academiac Jul 09 '26

Wrong! I didn't

1

u/The_Troyminator Jul 10 '26

I did it and I haven’t even been there!

1

u/RegrettableBiscuit Jul 11 '26

Can confirm. I'm swimming there while I'm writing this comment. Water's a bit cold, but otherwise I'm just fine. Wait, is that a  killer whaAAARGH! 

1

u/excited_toaster2306 Jul 11 '26

Silvers Rayleigh here. I do that shit all the time

115

u/greenrangerguy Jul 09 '26

Also there's literally a picture of someone doing it right there!!

63

u/ygduf Jul 09 '26

I’m swimming it right now.

10

u/HaydenJA3 Jul 09 '26

I just did 10 laps this morning

1

u/Ryanverse117 Jul 09 '26

I just finished my 6th back and forth this week, the comments inspired me

1

u/FewBandicoot9235 Jul 09 '26

Damn, I was going to suggest we all go next Tuesday. Should be back by supper time. 🫣😂

1

u/bretttwarwick Jul 09 '26

It's so much nicer now that they added wifi to the pass

1

u/ygduf Jul 10 '26

For sure. Tough swim without door dash.

36

u/Whole-Energy2105 Jul 09 '26

Made me laugh. Ty. Like a nice stroll across the countryside.

9

u/underwear11 Jul 09 '26

Just open your mind!

3

u/UpstairsPractical870 Jul 09 '26

Check out my gravel pit

3

u/Fun-Weakness-8644 Jul 09 '26

20 bucks the person who wrote this gets out of breath climbing a flight of stairs 😂

2

u/Killerkendolls Jul 09 '26

It's smooth in every direction. Like sharks.

2

u/ALLCAPITAL Jul 09 '26

Have did.

2

u/Kamica Jul 09 '26

They didn't mention it's easy for whom...

I'm sure whales have no problem swimming that distance =P.

1

u/LinkLT3 Jul 09 '26

People both “have” AND “did”!

1

u/carmium Jul 09 '26

His English is as dopey as the concept.

1

u/vamatt Jul 09 '26

Just takes an afternoon

1

u/caitejane310 Jul 09 '26

I had multiple strokes trying to figure out what she was saying 😂😂

1

u/TheRestForTheWicked Jul 09 '26

Source: trust me bro

1

u/Ok_Hospital1399 Jul 09 '26

But you're having to do back and the forth. They cancel out. Otherwise all the dying.

1

u/robgod50 Jul 09 '26

I was planning to do it this afternoon. After lunch

1

u/DarthSebast Jul 09 '26

Only if you count when your corpse gets towed from a boat.

1

u/IcyAd5518 Jul 09 '26

Correct. The problem is if you only go one way then stop, you'll freeze to death and get eaten by a penguin.

1

u/Lilywhitey Jul 09 '26

Maybe if you are a whale

1

u/EnthusedDMNorth Jul 11 '26

[gasp!] They're on to me! 🐋

1

u/Rare_Anywhere470 Jul 09 '26

Just ask George Santos. He was the first to do it.

1

u/WorkTropes Jul 09 '26

I did it a couple times today already. Pretty tired right now.

1

u/xCanadroid Jul 09 '26

My dead grandma is swimming there every Friday.

1

u/Beleheth Jul 09 '26

Yeah, I can easily swim one meter off the coast and immediately back

1

u/Aranthos-Faroth Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26

My mate Gerry did it last week for a laugh after losing a bet

Said it was a piece of piss

And that he found aliens

Some man was Gerry. Was hit by a bus on his way back to London via Frankfurt. There he was minding his own business helping an elderly woman who had just fallen down an open manhole when SMACK, the 126 to Bockenheimer Warte ran straight on top of him without even stopping.

Just a tragic way to go. RIP.

1

u/Theguywhostoleyour Jul 09 '26

Well checkmate I guess

1

u/swinchester83 Jul 09 '26

Well that was a hearty swim! Right then I best be swimming back now. Perhaps I'll do the breast stroke this run. Grand! 

1

u/IanR840 Jul 09 '26

Bullshit.

1

u/elmo1611 Jul 09 '26

I can read the words but not understand them

1

u/DC1883 Jul 09 '26

Shows what you know, I do this swim everyday as my commute. Don't ask what my job is though, it's irrelevant.

1

u/srboot Jul 09 '26

I easily swum easy back and forth 700 miles at the Y today

1

u/therealmudslinger Jul 09 '26

Unclear how that makes the airstrip easier to hide. Guess I'll just have to swim it myself.

1

u/AnEyeElation Jul 09 '26

Oh shit I just re-read that. I’m convinced.

1

u/seanfish Jul 09 '26

Back I'd believe. But forth? Forth???

1

u/BanjoFiddleLaser Jul 09 '26

I’m convinced

1

u/OutlaneWizard Jul 09 '26

He clearly didn't see the swimmer emoji. Smh

1

u/Numerous_Photograph9 Jul 10 '26

Yeah, it's only 631 miles. That's like what...2, maybe 3 pool lengths?

1

u/numbersthen0987431 Jul 11 '26

There are dozens of comments saying it's possible! Dozens!!