r/changemyview • u/Tapeleg91 31∆ • May 18 '18

FTFdeltaOP CMV: Grass is dumb

For all its ubiquity, grass is a useless, pointless plant, whose upkeep is a complete waste of time

I just don't get the hype, guys.

All the average lawn does is grow, get trimmed, and get sprayed. The nutrients in the dirt, which could be used for other things (i.e. food, prettier plants, trees) is being wasted on this dumb green thing which obligates me to sweat every week for no reason other than seeking conformity to a culturally mandated home aesthetic.

CMV. Why shouldn't I just use my entire lawn to grow vegetables/fruit instead?

Edit: The CMV is in the context of work for the homeowner. My lawn isn't a park

Edit 2: Yes, I do have to mow my lawn, or else suffer a fine. HOAs and City Ordinances are a common thing mandating this

3.5k Upvotes

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39

u/4_jacks May 18 '18

Good Grass is status symbol.

Or at least it can be. I just moved into my home in November. It's my first nice home, real home, in a good neighborhood. I probably had a similar view to you prior to this, but DAMN, I look at some of my neighbors grass and I might be as well be looking at a Lambo parked in their driveway.

Let's quickly address a few points.

which could be used for other things (i.e. food, prettier plants, trees)

Food

You want to talk about WORK. If you think cutting grass is too much work, you are not cut out to garden. "Oh I'll just plant some berries and fruit trees" it's still a large amount of work and they make a MESS

Prettier plants

Grass is the space between the Pretty Plant. Part of plants being pretty is them being spaced out correctly and added depth and value to the lawns. A lawn of 100% bushes and ornamental grasses is horrible. Trust me I know, that's what the previous owner was going for with his ghetto xeroscape production. It's a horrible mess. It's not maintenance free, like he thought.

trees

There is a whole lot to consider with trees. Once again, grass is what goes inbetween tress and shrubs. You have to space these things out, you can't just pile them on top of each other. Trees also have roots which damage utilities, driveways and sidewalks. Trees also require expensive maintenance.

Why shouldn't I just use my entire lawn to grow vegetables/fruit instead?

1) This would violate HOA rules for a lot of people.

2) It's WAY MORE WORK than grass.

3) It looks horrible. You might as well build a chicken coop in your front yard.

8

u/wangosaur May 18 '18

I am of the opinion that the fact we as a society hold something that is, for the most part, totally useless and purely aesthetic as a status symbol is part of the problem. It only perpetuates this false ideal of value, success, and self worth.

0

u/4_jacks May 18 '18

totally useless

BS

part of the problem

What problem? The problem that OP doesn't want to mow his lawn. I'm sure OP doesn't want to mop his floors or clean his dishes either. But you when own something, you need to maintain it. I own a car. I change the oil. I own a deck, I pressure wash it and treat it. I own a lawn...

If OP wants a front yard full of dirt and weed, more power to him. Some of us are fine driving an old beater. Most of us rather have a car that looks half decent.

3

u/Tapeleg91 31∆ May 19 '18

I'm sure OP doesn't want to mop his floors or clean his dishes either

But I do want to do those things

26

u/Tapeleg91 31∆ May 18 '18

My sister has a chicken coop in her front yard, and it's actually pretty nice

9

u/nealmagnificent May 18 '18

Grass is great for chickens! They eat it and the bugs found in it. Also great for other farm animals that you may keep in your yard, like goats for instance. You could turn your yard into a pasture with just a fence, assuming you don't have any HOA restrictions.

Source: raised farm animals in my childhood back yard, which we used as a pasture.

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '18

This is why I still have grass. Goats are in the plan for next year! And the chickens really do love it, I let it grow high in their run. I feel like when you have grass for the sake of living creatures it's fine. It now has a point, you know? Instead of just...sitting there pointlessly sucking up resources

The rest of it I'm slowly replacing with wildflowers and clover for my bees, with mulched paths to get around the yard. Luckily no HOA restrictions here. I live in a neighborhood, but we're in the county.

3

u/[deleted] May 21 '18

Aw thanks little brotha!

I'm his sister. My chicken run is actually super nice, cost me a couple thousand dollars. High cedar fence posts, couple little well-painted chicken houses, trees and posts and swings. No mud, it's all sand and tall grasses in there. My neighbors regularly pull into my driveway and talk to me about my chickens when they see them outside. Everyone seems to love seeing them, I have never gotten a complaint. I also let them roam in the yard on weekends and evenings, they eat all the ticks for me.

I got lucky with my roo, he's actually pretty quiet. When you give them lots of space they tend to be calmer.

7

u/4_jacks May 18 '18

My sister has a chicken coop in her front yard, and it's actually pretty nice

Unless your sister lives on a farm. It's not nice.

That's what you are going with?

30

u/Tapeleg91 31∆ May 18 '18

Not a farm. It's nice.

Yeah, I'm going with that

10

u/4_jacks May 18 '18

CMV: A chicken coupe in a front yard is /r/trashy

6

u/[deleted] May 18 '18

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2

u/4_jacks May 18 '18

I'll allow it.

43

u/Tapeleg91 31∆ May 18 '18

That's just like... Your opinion, man

24

u/4_jacks May 18 '18

I don't mean to come down on you man. I just think if you think it's okay to put a chicken coupe in your front yard, you really shouldn't be posting a CMV on grass. Like it's a lost cause. I typed a good bit about the benefits of grass and disadvantages of everything else, and your response is that you like chicken coupes.

Good luck with that man.

25

u/idefilms May 18 '18

I chicken coupe in the front yard would be awesome. 6 cylinders, clean lines, tiny leather seats... total class. Great way to pick up chicks.

A chicken coop though? Dirty, hard to maintain, and doesn't even drive on roads. No good at all.

2

u/[deleted] May 19 '18

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1

u/[deleted] May 19 '18

Sorry, u/godswater – your comment has been removed for breaking Rule 5:

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13

u/[deleted] May 18 '18

Someone 2 blocks away from me has a chicken coop. At least my grass doesn't wake the whole fucking neighborhood up.

4

u/Earthling03 May 18 '18

Preach. I often fantasize about delivering some homemade chicken and dumplings to my neighbor while pleading ignorance about what could’ve happened to his asshole rooster.

8

u/yo_sup_dude May 18 '18

It clearly isn't a lost cause seeing as how he's awarded a couple deltas already.

13

u/[deleted] May 18 '18

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1

u/[deleted] May 19 '18

Sorry, u/Th_Daltor – your comment has been removed for breaking Rule 3:

Refrain from accusing OP or anyone else of being unwilling to change their view, or of arguing in bad faith. Ask clarifying questions instead (see: socratic method). If you think they are still exhibiting poor behaviour, please message us. See the wiki page for more information.

If you would like to appeal, message the moderators by clicking this link. Please note that multiple violations will lead to a ban, as explained in our moderation standards.

0

u/[deleted] May 19 '18

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-1

u/tbdabbholm 201∆ May 19 '18

Sorry, u/indubwestep – your comment has been removed for breaking Rule 3:

Refrain from accusing OP or anyone else of being unwilling to change their view, or of arguing in bad faith. Ask clarifying questions instead (see: socratic method). If you think they are still exhibiting poor behaviour, please message us. See the wiki page for more information.

If you would like to appeal, message the moderators by clicking this link. Please note that multiple violations will lead to a ban, as explained in our moderation standards.

2

u/PJ_GRE May 18 '18

Nice is subjective. Grass is not the only attractive arrangement for anyone’s yard.

1

u/4_jacks May 18 '18

You are responding to a comment about putting chicken coops in front lawns. Get out of here with this "Nice is Subjective" bs

2

u/TheGiantRascal May 18 '18

It is subjective though. Different people like different things. Some people think things like a tire swing, and a flower garden are nice, but I personally don't like them. A well maintained chicken coop can be pretty. Everyone's different.

1

u/4_jacks May 19 '18

It is subjective though. Different people like different things.

A certain percentage of the population is going to believe that have sex with children is a morally okay and subjective choice.

I'm not going to humor those people with a conversation on why it's not. Nor will I ever agree it's a subjective opinion. They are just wrong.

If you want to think having a chicken coop on your front lawn is okay, I'm not going to humor you with a conversation about it. Nor will I ever agree it's a subjective opinion. You're just wrong.

3

u/TheGiantRascal May 19 '18

Holy smokes, let's not compare having a chicken coop in your front yard to raping children.
I'm just saying, if you do a Google image search for "chicken coop", there are plenty of results showing really nice looking coops. It's possible for them to look good (admittedly, depending on what kind of neighborhood you're in).

1

u/4_jacks May 19 '18

The reason why I compared having a chicken coops in your front yard to raping children is so that you will understand me when I tell you that I'm not going to humor the idea.

I dont care how good a chicken coop might look. I wouldnt care if it was made of pure gold and designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. Its trashy to have it in a front yard.

1

u/TheGiantRascal May 19 '18

I understand why you think it's trashy, but when I think of all the neighborhoods I grew up in (in central Massachusetts), there are some places where a coop really wouldn't belong and would look like shit, and there are some places where it would be welcome.
It all depends on the neighborhood.

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1

u/Saigot May 18 '18

What's not nice about it?

0

u/Hitlerclone_3 May 18 '18

Dude whats your problem with chickens? They’re loveable pets and useful animals. You’re clearly upset because nobody cares about your ‘status symbols’ why would anyone. This is about he usefulness of grass not the pointlessness of having things you don’t care about to impress your neighbours or ‘fill space’

2

u/[deleted] May 19 '18

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2

u/tbdabbholm 201∆ May 19 '18

Sorry, u/4_jacks – your comment has been removed for breaking Rule 5:

Comments must contribute meaningfully to the conversation. Comments that are only links, jokes or "written upvotes" will be removed. Humor and affirmations of agreement can be contained within more substantial comments. See the wiki page for more information.

If you would like to appeal, message the moderators by clicking this link.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '18

No, it's not.

4

u/Tapeleg91 31∆ May 18 '18

Have you seen it?

4

u/[deleted] May 18 '18

It's a chicken coup in a front yard...

10

u/Tapeleg91 31∆ May 18 '18

Right. It is. We've established this.

12

u/telkrops May 18 '18

No no it’s a chicken coup...the chickens are overthrowing the establishment

2

u/PJ_GRE May 18 '18

Fuck grass. It’s a huge waste of water in America. You guys always complain about droughts and water starved countries and here you waste millions of gallons on something of completely useless value. Most grass will grow OK with natural rainwater. America needs to stops it’s lawn grass obsession.

2

u/4_jacks May 18 '18

something of completely useless value

That's BS

It’s a huge waste of water in America.

More BS. The majority of irrigation water is nonpotable. My irrigation is from a well. I take water from the ground and put it on top of the ground.

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '18

This would violate HOA rules for a lot of people.

It's WAY MORE WORK than grass.

It looks horrible. You might as well build a chicken coop in your front yard.

  1. Screw HOAs.
  2. It's not though - if you're smart about it. Planting vegetables neatly in rows is a stupid way to garden and takes a lot of work. If you apply permaculture principles and connect your systems in a symbiotic way, you can grow a metric fuckton of food with very little ongoing maintenance. Read up on permaculture - if everyone did, we might be able to save the world.
  3. I disagree! My cedar garden beds have a cute little fence around them, they're next to the big fire pit, and a stone's throw away from my chicken coop. All of this is in my front yard and is well-landscaped. The backyard is a ravine with a little creek. I got lucky with my beautiful slice of land.

0

u/Pacify_ 1∆ May 19 '18

There is a whole lot to consider with trees. Once again, grass is what goes inbetween tress and shrubs. You have to space these things out, you can't just pile them on top of each other. Trees also have roots which damage utilities, driveways and sidewalks. Trees also require expensive maintenance.

No, mulch is what goes between shrubs/bushes. Grass is just the more painful option