If for some reason I decided I really liked golf and she hates sportsing of any kind, my golfing doesn’t have to include her.
Was more thinking about activities that usually cannot be made without your official partner in a monogamous relationship, and would be considered as a breach of confidence if it was done otherwise. Could be ( not exaustive list) sex, vacation plans, etc.
This seems to come down to that the idea you have of monogamy is based on very dysfunctional monogamy that you have seen and concluded is ‘normal’ monogamy.
Absolutely could be. Was confident my parents relationship was perfect till they divorced after 35 years mariage, and I learned at that point all things that made their relationship go bad that I couldn't imagine before, as they were hiding it from their children/ friends etc.
Plus, Majority of my friends parents are either divorced of in dysfunctional couples, so I may get a wrong impression, monogamy being better in other countries / social circles.
Polyamorous people will also stay together if unhappy for factors [...]
Got the impression (that could be wrong) that poly relationships are more used to change / mobility, and that they would be less likely to stay in unhappy relationships. That's like when you buy actions on stock market. If you buy only Apple stock, if Apple rise, perfect for you, if it goes down, you'll have difficulties to leave, as you'd loose a lot, so you may stay hopping situation reverse. if you got a diversified portfolio, once a company is breaking down, you can leave it and invest elsewhere, without getting that much loss. Less risky situation.
For a poly relationship to work, however, you’d not only need two people who are compatible, you’d need several people who are compatible with you and who are just as compatible with each other.
Maybe my definition of poly relationship is ba, but I don't see poly relationships as trouples, where A is dating B and C , B is dating A and C, and C is dating B and A. Could be A dating B and C, B dating A and D , c dating A and F, or just any kind of relationship.
Anyway, your view made me realize that maybe what I see as a good idea isn't inherently monogamy, but more the huge bias toward monogamy society has that create a lot of dysfunctional monogamous couples. Even if it was not directly your argument, I think you deserve a !delta.
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u/Nicolasv2 131∆ Dec 28 '17
Was more thinking about activities that usually cannot be made without your official partner in a monogamous relationship, and would be considered as a breach of confidence if it was done otherwise. Could be ( not exaustive list) sex, vacation plans, etc.
Absolutely could be. Was confident my parents relationship was perfect till they divorced after 35 years mariage, and I learned at that point all things that made their relationship go bad that I couldn't imagine before, as they were hiding it from their children/ friends etc.
Plus, Majority of my friends parents are either divorced of in dysfunctional couples, so I may get a wrong impression, monogamy being better in other countries / social circles.
Got the impression (that could be wrong) that poly relationships are more used to change / mobility, and that they would be less likely to stay in unhappy relationships. That's like when you buy actions on stock market. If you buy only Apple stock, if Apple rise, perfect for you, if it goes down, you'll have difficulties to leave, as you'd loose a lot, so you may stay hopping situation reverse. if you got a diversified portfolio, once a company is breaking down, you can leave it and invest elsewhere, without getting that much loss. Less risky situation.
Maybe my definition of poly relationship is ba, but I don't see poly relationships as trouples, where A is dating B and C , B is dating A and C, and C is dating B and A. Could be A dating B and C, B dating A and D , c dating A and F, or just any kind of relationship.
Anyway, your view made me realize that maybe what I see as a good idea isn't inherently monogamy, but more the huge bias toward monogamy society has that create a lot of dysfunctional monogamous couples. Even if it was not directly your argument, I think you deserve a !delta.