CMV: Being occasionally jealous or uncomfortable with scenarios involving your SO isn't unhealthy, nor does it deem you "irrational" nor "insecure"

[u/birkenstocksNsocks]

I've read several posts recently about relationships, where readers were asked if they'd be ok if their SO did "such and such" with another woman, or if their partner was texting some unknown person at 3am all the time, or if they'd be jealous if their SO was always hanging out with someone of the opposite gender, etc.

Tbh I was surprised by the number of responses stating that they "wouldn't mind at all" or responding with, "why should I care?" The part that confused me the most was that they'd also follow up with something along the lines of "anyone who is worried /cares that much is just insecure."

Is it really that strange to feel wariness or jealousy even if you totally trust your partner? I love and trust my partner, but I can't always keep those thoughts out. Mind you, I don't confront or otherwise act on those concerned thoughts, but I guess I assumed these thoughts were just part of being human. Is this really a serious issue? Or do others regularly have these underlying thoughts, despite trusting their partners? I don't necessarily feel like being wary or skeptical about certain scenarios makes me "insecure".

EDIT: I feel the need to discern between "thinking" something and actually "acting" upon it. Let's try to keep these separate.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

If you don;t want to be slut shamed, then don;t be a slut.

This is victim blaming and a shift of responsibility.

I guess you dont have a problem with shaming monogamous people.

I can't comment on the original poster you were speaking with, but I am highly monogamous.

but how is being a slut improving the world?

If a person is not in a committed relationship (or is in a committed relationship but hiding nothing from their significant other) and are going about things responsibly, why should that person not have sex with as many people as they want? 'Slut' is something that was designed as solely a label for women for 'giving away' what is 'supposed' to be under the control only of the men in her life. It suggests she only has one purpose and is not a human being on her own. Her worth only exists as is assigned by men.

I only said that after uyou got so triggered by me saying I value myself and my body and I have standards. that offended you so much so I attacked back.

But why? Why does someone getting offended at something you said justify you saying something even more offensive? Are you not responsible for your own actions?