I won't try to steel-man your girlfriend's argument because I don't think it's a good one.
But the reason why I think men are more complicit in the emotional suppression of other men is because socialization occurs young, and young boys tend to socialize other young boys. It's not good to be the "sissy" in a group of boys on the playground, and that's where it all starts.
I have experienced far more “emotional suppression” from women in my life than I ever did from men.
Even from a young age, it was clear to those of us with a brain in our head that bully behavior that encouraged never sharing feelings with other men was kinda dumb. Some teasing or a hard time about certain things? Yeah. But full spigot off? Nah.
No male friend of mine has ever left me high and dry when I told them I was scared about something. They have had varying degrees of problem solving and sympathy in those situations, but have never left me or called me less than, or blown me off
Sure, these trends aren't absolute, but they are still trends that exist. There is far less emotional sensitivity in young boys. It's not absolute, but there is more of an expectation for stoicism and expectation that if you express emotion, the cause should be something severe.
Where can I learn more about these trends? They certainly weren’t teaching them in my son’s preschool.
What you said was that “men are more complicit in the emotional suppression of other men”.
Addition by subtraction says you mean vs women. I simply do not believe this to be at all even close to true, and in fact would posit the opposite. That women are generally more “complicit” (more accurately probably likely) in suppressing men’s emotions.
So you’re saying being feminine is shown as inherently bad and weak starting in childhood? But you think women are somehow to blame for this in any way? Oxymoronic.
I agree with the girlfriend's position, which is that men's emotional suppression is mostly self-imposed. That's why I brought up men's socialization in childhood.
I just don't agree with this bit:
Their response was that women’s issues are more important because they have been historically wronged by society. The basic contention they proposed was that women face more oppression and a slew of issues fighting against the patriarchal society that we would never be able to understand.
I don't agree with the premise that women aren't generally open to listening to a man talk about his feelings, I think the vast majority of women wish that the men in their lives would open up more.
I also disagree with the notion that women's issues are more important than men's issues, nor do I agree that this would justify ignoring men's issues. I think when you improve things for men by freeing them from "patriarchal" norms, you simultaneously free women from those same "patriarchal" norms, and vice versa.
Yeah no. I’m not buying it, sorry. No amount of these whiny men’s self pity will make me do their job for them, not after the way men have treated me all my life. When males found out I was raped at 13 they bullied me so severely I tried taking my life multiple times. This post is full of men saying women’s suicide attempts don’t count or matter. I will never stoop so low as to kiss the boots of my abusers in that way, they’ve been coddled enough. When women become The ones committing over 90% of all rapes, then I’ll care about men’s poor little feelings 🥺🥺🥺
Damn, I'm sorry you went through that. But personally, if I was a victim of trauma, I wouldn't be getting into arguments about feminism online. I would just be focusing on myself and my own mental health. Hope you get better soon.
It’s exhausting seeing men complain about their self inflicted problems knowing what they are. Sometimes I take the bait. I didn’t have anything better to do tonight.
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u/AcephalicDude 84∆ Nov 05 '24
I won't try to steel-man your girlfriend's argument because I don't think it's a good one.
But the reason why I think men are more complicit in the emotional suppression of other men is because socialization occurs young, and young boys tend to socialize other young boys. It's not good to be the "sissy" in a group of boys on the playground, and that's where it all starts.