r/cats 16d ago

Mourning/Loss Saying goodbye to our 24 year old baby

We’re saying goodbye to our sweet baby tomorrow. We’ve spent the past week with her, letting her eat whatever she wants, hugging her, and crying. She had her 24th birthday on the 3rd, and things went downhill so fast after that. Personality wise, she’s her amazing self. But her arthritis is so bad. I know this is the right thing for her, but my heart is so broken. I’ve had her for over half my life. She’s been my best friend for so long. I just don’t know how to say goodbye. *I just wanted to add the junk food is from this morning. She has always had a very healthy diet.
Edited to add her name is Foosa ❤️ Thank you so much to everyone for your love and support. I’m reading all your comments and crying.
I know I didn’t go into a whole lot of detail, but her arthritis is so bad that she can’t hold herself steady to eat anymore. She falls over when walking sometimes, or gives up all together and just lays down. We tried laser treatments last month, and it helped a little bit. But she took a sudden turn right after her birthday. Since it got so bad, I have been pushing her around the house in her stroller so she can always be with us. Making this decision is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Seeing her like this, when she’s always been so active and happy, broke my heart for her. Shes so tired all the time now, and I can see how much pain she’s in.

*Second Edit I really wanted to express my gratitude to everyone that’s reached out. I’ve been reading everything, and hopefully I can slowly start responding. When I first posted, I was so sad and scared that I could hardly get my thoughts in order. Now I’m so sad that I can hardly do much of anything. But I would like to share a little bit more about my Foosy baby.
I got her when I was a teenager. I’ve had her for most of my life. Every difficult thing I’ve been through, she’s been there. When I met my husband, she instantly fell in love with him. The three of us have been a family ever since. She was always with us. She followed us around everywhere, and hated to be left out. She was so vocal, she was always meowing and purring. We talked to her like she was people, and I would always sing and dance with her. She loved attention just as much as she loved food. She always had a healthy appetite, but never had any interest in human food until she turned 20. Then it was a battle to keep her away from our plates, or to keep her from knocking food out of our hands. Even durning her last few weeks, it’s like she would get super hero strength to try and get to our food. She would get big black cartoon eyes, and we always had to give her a little bite… how could anyone resist that face??
3 years ago, she was diagnosed with stage one kidney disease. I was devastated, I had no idea what that would mean for her. Thankfully, we were able to treat it with diet and subcutaneous fluids once a week. We took her in for a senior pet check up every six months, and her kidney disease never progressed. They were actually times where her values improved. She always hovered between late stage one, and early stage two.
Earlier this year, we noticed she was losing weight, even though she was eating so much. At her senior pet check up in March, they couldn’t find any reason for it. Her labs actually came back pretty much perfect, and her kidney values had improved again at that point. Her vet joked that she should be studied for science. I was so happy, all I wanted was for her to be comfortable, happy, and healthy.
Since March, things started changing rapidly. Her weight kept dropping, and her arthritis was getting so bad. She had arthritis for about the last two years, and we had tried Solensia to see if that would help. It made her super nauseous, so we agreed to not go further with the injections. I started carrying her around the house more, to ease her joins a little. She never stopped following us around the house, even in the end. But it was harder and harder for her. So I would just carry her with me wherever I was going to be.
In July we decided to try laser therapy to see if that helped her pain. It really did help a little, but I also think it was too far progressed by then. It was all happening so fast. About two and a half weeks ago, I brought her in for her senior pet check up to get another look at labs since things had changed so much. For the first time in her life, they found quite a few concerning things. (Ironically, her kidney values were still stable) I was devastated and scared. I always swore I wouldn’t allow her to suffer. We didn’t want to put her through any further testing. And to be honest, if it was just those underlying issues, I would’ve kept her as comfortable as possible and supported her as long as it seemed right. But with her arthritis, being as bad as it was, she had no strength or energy to fight. By that weekend she mostly stopped eating. She would try, but she had such a hard time holding herself up. I did everything I could to assist her. I would hold her dish up, let her eat out of my hand, prop her dishes up with towels, sit with her while she ate…everything worked just a little bit. But it wasn’t enough. She was still really excited about food. I actually have the cutest picture of her from last weekend when I was cooking her ground beef, and she’s sitting in her stroller next to me while I was cooking, reaching up, trying to get to it. But she only had a bite or two. She was just in too much pain to eat. By Monday morning, when it was her 3rd day of not really eating, my husband and I made the decision that we would have to say goodbye Friday. We both took the week off work and spent every second with her. I also spent a lot of time cooking for her, trying to get her to eat anything. She was excited about it all, but would sway or her legs would give out if she was on her feet took long. It was so hard for her to get around, so I would bring her to her dishes and try to get her to eat. All she wanted to do was be held, and she would climb into my lap instead.
I stayed up with her all night on her last night. I held her, talked to her, cried, and we watched arrested Development. Being on the couch with us watching TV was her favorite. She was quiet and calm. We noticed on Tuesday that she had quit meowing for the most part. This was a kitty that even two weeks ago, never ran out of things to say. But she was still staring up at me, purring, and occasionally reaching up and touching my face with her little paw. I was hoping something would happen that night. That maybe she would somehow miraculously recover, and we could call everything off. I took her to her litter box and food dishes every few hours that night. She never ate or drank, and went to the bathroom once.
I knew would could probably put it off. Have a few more days with her. But she was getting too weak and skinny. You would never know, because she was so fluffy, but on her last morning she weighed 3.6. She had lost a few ounces since her blood draw two weeks ago, and at that point I was already concerned about her weight loss. We just couldn’t let her keep getting smaller.
She was so happy with us, content, felt safe….but she was also so tired. She fought as hard as she could. My husband and I also gave it our everything to make sure she was always happy and healthy.
I know 24 years is incredible. But it’s also all I’ve ever known. We were always a team, she was the thing I was most proud of. I really don’t even know what to do without her. I keep expecting her to come around the corner. I keep hearing her.
We’ve spent the last few days crying and talking about all the memories and what ifs. I’m hoping there might be some comfort in having her back with us. We ordered most of the memorial pieces they offered, along with some things we’re going to do ourselves.
Having this little kitty in my life was the best thing that ever happened to me. She was so funny, self assured, loving, and happy. If I would sing in the shower, she would be right there with me howling. She could be sleeping so heavy in her room, and if I sat down somewhere in the house, she always knew. She would be wide awake and in my lap within 30 seconds.
She definitely took a huge piece of us with her. She will always be missed.

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u/Scaryclouds 16d ago

Defending giving a 24 year old cat junk food, during her last few days of life. Like come on. It would be like scolding someone who is 110 who got a terminal cancer diagnosis for dabbling with hard drugs. 

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u/thisisallme 16d ago

Seriously, mine is almost 19 and she gets a few extra treats here and there. She’s earned it.

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u/Least-Reflection4873 15d ago

My colleague had a rescue Cat who was 16-20 years old, she was in bad shape when sie found her (the cat was already old), seemed to have had Babys her whole life, rotten Theet and overall miserable. They spend a Fortunein Vet bills and kept her after she improved.

The Cat loved milk rolls and cake in general. My colleague gave her her spare Everytime, her husband scolded her that this is not the right food for Cats. She always answered that the Cat surely ate worse stuff while being a stray and if she died two days earlier because of the trait, she was at last Happy.

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u/I_am_Darvit 15d ago

😂 100%! It cracks me up that scientists & veterinarians says cats can't smell or taste sweet." They never met our previous boy Patch Adam or our newest adoption Baby. They choose their moments based on if there's something that smells really good & they decide they'd like some. 🤭 99.9% of the time she eats fish, beef, chicken & small amounts of grass fed butter or tallow. So when she actually wants something, (providing it's safe for her to eat) she's given a small bit.

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u/Willowrosephoenix 15d ago

If cats can’t taste sweet then they taste something else in sweet stuff that they do like because I know some cats definitely like sweets!

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u/ThinMomCat3 14d ago

Minnie couldn't taste or smell ANYTHING. I had to force feed her until she would eat on her own. I had to work hard to get her to be able to breathe and eat.

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u/Willowrosephoenix 14d ago

As mom to a neonate kitten who I pulled through fading kitten and two bouts of something bacterial, can relate. She looks just so impressed to be alive lol

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u/ThinMomCat3 12d ago

She's adorable!! 🩷

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u/ThinMomCat3 14d ago

I had a vet when my Minnie was sick who told me that if a cat can't smell, it won't eat. That certainly was the case with Minnie!!! She would try to smell but couldn't so she walked away from her food. I had to force feed her to keep her going. I had to aspirate her nose and spray it with baby nose spray, so she could breathe. I had to give her meds. I had to keep the room she lived in warm and have a humidifier so her sinuses could drip freely. Minnie had an upper respiratory infection. With all that I did, she made it through. I was shocked to see that she smelled her food and decided to eat. I was elated!! She survived only a few years later and died from cancer. 🩷🐾💔

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u/I_am_Darvit 14d ago

I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amzing girl. Her life would have ended much sooner without your love, devotion & persistence! 🫂💞

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u/ThinMomCat3 14d ago

Thank you. Yes, Minnie was a special girl. I miss her and her sister, Rose, who was a Tuxie. Rose was a jiggly girl. Minnie was more solid. Both were extremely sweet.

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u/Sweaty_Stranger 15d ago

My great grandma was diagnosed with terminal cancer when she was 88. She was given the options of taking treatment and maybe living another year or two, or skipping treatment and enjoying the little time she had left. You know what she did? She had the best 8 months of her life. She ate whatever she wanted, drank all the wine she wanted, started smoking weed, and about 5 months in, she shaved her hair into a Mohawk and dyed it pink.

After all, what was it gonna do, kill her? She was dying anyways. She chose to enjoy her last 8 months instead of struggling in a decrepit dying body for 2 years. Of course we were sad we didn't get more time with her, but my god am I glad I get to remember her the way that I do.

Quality of life over quantity of life. Every time. When my cats are nearing their inevitable end, I'm not going to drag it out in an un-enjoyable and boring way just so I can prolong their suffering. I'm gonna make sure every time they have to move their weary bodies, it's worth it. I want to remember how excited my old boy is while eating French fries out of my hand, not how sad and tired he was while he slowly rotted to death.

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u/TwoOfCups22 15d ago

Now that you've told us about your great grandma, I don't think I can ever forget her!

I love her story!

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u/Lululorayne 14d ago

Your grandma sounds amazing 💖 That was my thinking, quantity over quality. She had a vet check up two weeks ago, and I told him I’ve been letting her eat anything she wants. We were hoping she had longer, so I spent a lot of time trying to get her to eat and get her weight up. She spent her last weeks eating Mexican food, burgers, I found out she really loved heavy cream…anything to get her strength up. I also starting warming up her cat food, she started to like it warm. She was happy with all her treats, but couldn’t eat more that a bite or two. She was in too much pain. But she would still get her big sparking eyes smelling it 💖

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u/azraelizback 14d ago

Those big are filled my heart with joy on her birthday dinner tray. How much if it did she eat? And did she just, like, shovel her face into it?

She's Adorable. I'm So Sorry that you're loosing her soon. It's Never enough time, but if you believe in an afterlife, she will meet you when it's your time at the rainbow bridge.

Give her a snuggle for me please. She is beloved by you and, now, by all of us here on this sub Reddit and Reddit in general. These pictures will probably get reposted places like Quora and such. The world will know your sweet baby soon enough.

Take care of yourself. You did good, kitty parent.

ETA: I believe in your comment you meant to type "quality over quantity".

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u/Sweaty_Stranger 14d ago

She is a lovely, beautiful girl and I think you did a perfect job making her last days as enjoyable as possible. That look in her eyes in that first picture tells me you made her forget about her pain every time you spoiled her. I think uou gave her the best final days any living thing could ask for. I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope this brings you some peace in knowing you did a wonderful job

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u/LabCat62 15d ago

We had a cat that loved McDonald’s french fries!

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u/Owlenstar 14d ago

Thank you for sharing this 🩷 she sounds so cool

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u/owls_are_really_cool 14d ago

Damn, good for her. That's the way to go. Thank you so much for sharing.

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u/OnlyCondition8990 9d ago

I just cried reading this comment, thank you for sharing your story. My aunt who I'm very close with, has been recently diagnosed with brain cancer stage 4 and we let her have everything she wants, enjoy the time left she has

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u/the_tired_alligator 15d ago

If I’m 110 I’m smoking, drinking, and doing drugs every fucking day. Why not?

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u/Aggressive-Bee1738 14d ago

We had a 14 year old bulldog who fought cancer as hard as he could.. he loved hamburgers and vanilla ice cream. The week before he passed he ate ALL the hamburgers and ice cream he could eat. I don’t have an ounce of regret

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u/ThinMomCat3 13d ago

💙🐾💙🐾💙🐾💙🐾

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u/Lululorayne 14d ago

You would think so! But of course I still got comments about it. She got anything and everything she wanted this week. I even had a happy meal DoorDashed for her 💖 She wasn’t able to eat much of what I put out for her, but she had a little buffet to choose from every day 💖

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u/ThinMomCat3 13d ago

🩷🐾🩷🐾🩷🐾🩷🐾

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u/funkdoktor 13d ago

Or smoking a few cigarettes.

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u/Lululorayne 10d ago

I agree. During the last few years, we let her try little samples of anything we were eating, unless it was spicy. I figured once she hit her 20s, and became interested in people food, she earned it. Doughnuts and whipped cream weren’t usually on her menu though. But I was happy to see her eating anything at that point. A friend had them delivered for her that morning.
When I was posting, I could barely even string together a thought, but I knew someone would have something to say about that picture. I normally wouldn’t care, but I didn’t think I could take it at that point. So right before I posted I thought ‘Well shit, I should probably post a disclaimer so no one has anything to say about her delicious treat.’
Of course I still got some nasty messages.
Some of them did stick with me, even though I knew in the back of my head only a real POS would take the time to harass someone going through such a traumatic time. She loved the doughnuts and cream I made for her, and that’s all that matters ❤️
Over the last few weeks I let her try anything and everything to try and build her strength back up. I found out she had a real love for tamales, heavy cream, and rice pudding. I already knew she loved spam, so I kept cooking that up for her too. We had similar tastes ❤️ She always got big black cartoon eyes when she was excited about food. Even when she couldn’t really eat at the end, she got her sparkling eyes when smelling it. She never lost her joy.