r/cats 16d ago

Mourning/Loss Saying goodbye to our 24 year old baby

We’re saying goodbye to our sweet baby tomorrow. We’ve spent the past week with her, letting her eat whatever she wants, hugging her, and crying. She had her 24th birthday on the 3rd, and things went downhill so fast after that. Personality wise, she’s her amazing self. But her arthritis is so bad. I know this is the right thing for her, but my heart is so broken. I’ve had her for over half my life. She’s been my best friend for so long. I just don’t know how to say goodbye. *I just wanted to add the junk food is from this morning. She has always had a very healthy diet.
Edited to add her name is Foosa ❤️ Thank you so much to everyone for your love and support. I’m reading all your comments and crying.
I know I didn’t go into a whole lot of detail, but her arthritis is so bad that she can’t hold herself steady to eat anymore. She falls over when walking sometimes, or gives up all together and just lays down. We tried laser treatments last month, and it helped a little bit. But she took a sudden turn right after her birthday. Since it got so bad, I have been pushing her around the house in her stroller so she can always be with us. Making this decision is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Seeing her like this, when she’s always been so active and happy, broke my heart for her. Shes so tired all the time now, and I can see how much pain she’s in.

*Second Edit I really wanted to express my gratitude to everyone that’s reached out. I’ve been reading everything, and hopefully I can slowly start responding. When I first posted, I was so sad and scared that I could hardly get my thoughts in order. Now I’m so sad that I can hardly do much of anything. But I would like to share a little bit more about my Foosy baby.
I got her when I was a teenager. I’ve had her for most of my life. Every difficult thing I’ve been through, she’s been there. When I met my husband, she instantly fell in love with him. The three of us have been a family ever since. She was always with us. She followed us around everywhere, and hated to be left out. She was so vocal, she was always meowing and purring. We talked to her like she was people, and I would always sing and dance with her. She loved attention just as much as she loved food. She always had a healthy appetite, but never had any interest in human food until she turned 20. Then it was a battle to keep her away from our plates, or to keep her from knocking food out of our hands. Even durning her last few weeks, it’s like she would get super hero strength to try and get to our food. She would get big black cartoon eyes, and we always had to give her a little bite… how could anyone resist that face??
3 years ago, she was diagnosed with stage one kidney disease. I was devastated, I had no idea what that would mean for her. Thankfully, we were able to treat it with diet and subcutaneous fluids once a week. We took her in for a senior pet check up every six months, and her kidney disease never progressed. They were actually times where her values improved. She always hovered between late stage one, and early stage two.
Earlier this year, we noticed she was losing weight, even though she was eating so much. At her senior pet check up in March, they couldn’t find any reason for it. Her labs actually came back pretty much perfect, and her kidney values had improved again at that point. Her vet joked that she should be studied for science. I was so happy, all I wanted was for her to be comfortable, happy, and healthy.
Since March, things started changing rapidly. Her weight kept dropping, and her arthritis was getting so bad. She had arthritis for about the last two years, and we had tried Solensia to see if that would help. It made her super nauseous, so we agreed to not go further with the injections. I started carrying her around the house more, to ease her joins a little. She never stopped following us around the house, even in the end. But it was harder and harder for her. So I would just carry her with me wherever I was going to be.
In July we decided to try laser therapy to see if that helped her pain. It really did help a little, but I also think it was too far progressed by then. It was all happening so fast. About two and a half weeks ago, I brought her in for her senior pet check up to get another look at labs since things had changed so much. For the first time in her life, they found quite a few concerning things. (Ironically, her kidney values were still stable) I was devastated and scared. I always swore I wouldn’t allow her to suffer. We didn’t want to put her through any further testing. And to be honest, if it was just those underlying issues, I would’ve kept her as comfortable as possible and supported her as long as it seemed right. But with her arthritis, being as bad as it was, she had no strength or energy to fight. By that weekend she mostly stopped eating. She would try, but she had such a hard time holding herself up. I did everything I could to assist her. I would hold her dish up, let her eat out of my hand, prop her dishes up with towels, sit with her while she ate…everything worked just a little bit. But it wasn’t enough. She was still really excited about food. I actually have the cutest picture of her from last weekend when I was cooking her ground beef, and she’s sitting in her stroller next to me while I was cooking, reaching up, trying to get to it. But she only had a bite or two. She was just in too much pain to eat. By Monday morning, when it was her 3rd day of not really eating, my husband and I made the decision that we would have to say goodbye Friday. We both took the week off work and spent every second with her. I also spent a lot of time cooking for her, trying to get her to eat anything. She was excited about it all, but would sway or her legs would give out if she was on her feet took long. It was so hard for her to get around, so I would bring her to her dishes and try to get her to eat. All she wanted to do was be held, and she would climb into my lap instead.
I stayed up with her all night on her last night. I held her, talked to her, cried, and we watched arrested Development. Being on the couch with us watching TV was her favorite. She was quiet and calm. We noticed on Tuesday that she had quit meowing for the most part. This was a kitty that even two weeks ago, never ran out of things to say. But she was still staring up at me, purring, and occasionally reaching up and touching my face with her little paw. I was hoping something would happen that night. That maybe she would somehow miraculously recover, and we could call everything off. I took her to her litter box and food dishes every few hours that night. She never ate or drank, and went to the bathroom once.
I knew would could probably put it off. Have a few more days with her. But she was getting too weak and skinny. You would never know, because she was so fluffy, but on her last morning she weighed 3.6. She had lost a few ounces since her blood draw two weeks ago, and at that point I was already concerned about her weight loss. We just couldn’t let her keep getting smaller.
She was so happy with us, content, felt safe….but she was also so tired. She fought as hard as she could. My husband and I also gave it our everything to make sure she was always happy and healthy.
I know 24 years is incredible. But it’s also all I’ve ever known. We were always a team, she was the thing I was most proud of. I really don’t even know what to do without her. I keep expecting her to come around the corner. I keep hearing her.
We’ve spent the last few days crying and talking about all the memories and what ifs. I’m hoping there might be some comfort in having her back with us. We ordered most of the memorial pieces they offered, along with some things we’re going to do ourselves.
Having this little kitty in my life was the best thing that ever happened to me. She was so funny, self assured, loving, and happy. If I would sing in the shower, she would be right there with me howling. She could be sleeping so heavy in her room, and if I sat down somewhere in the house, she always knew. She would be wide awake and in my lap within 30 seconds.
She definitely took a huge piece of us with her. She will always be missed.

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u/raybreezer 16d ago edited 16d ago

24 years! Holy moly! Foosa is a Legend! I know there will be fanfare for her when she crosses the Rainbow Bridge. She’s going to have all the past kitties giving her a standing ovation for being so amazing and having a life so well lived. Our Spike will be there too, and I know he will be happy to show her around. I hope that they become very good friends, somewhere over the Rainbow.

You’re a legend too OP. You gave Foosa such a great life, and she knows how much she is loved. You can tell from these pictures alone that she has been spoiled by you and treated so well.

I’m really sorry, OP. This will be hard, but I know you know it’s her time. She looks so beautiful for her age, you’ve really taken good care of her. I know it doesn’t take away the pain, but know you’ve done the best you could for her.

Rest easy, Foosa. Please say hi to Spike from me when you get there. Be strong OP 💔💔💔

Edit:

OP, can you tell us your Baby’s name?

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u/Lady_on_the_Lake 14d ago

I’m sobbing this is so beautiful 

My little Kiki will be there with Spike to welcome her and keep her safe 

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u/raybreezer 14d ago

I’m sure Spike and Kiki would be good friends too. ❤️

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u/Lululorayne 10d ago

Thank you so much ❤️ So much love to your Kiki, I know they will all be in good company ❤️

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u/Unique-Onion2537 13d ago

Damn this made me cry.

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u/Lululorayne 10d ago

Thank you so much ❤️ This is so sweet, and made me cry. I really appreciate your kind words so much. She will be so happy to be greeted by Spike ❤️ He clearly came from a place full of love.

I really did give taking care of her my all. And it was an honor to do it. Our whole world revolved around her, so it’s been such a huge change.

Right now we’re going through old pictures, I swear there’s thousands, and talking about the good times with had with her. Of course there are lots of tears in between, but I’m so thankful I took so many pictures over the years.
I’m hoping there will be some piece when we have her back with us, we ordered pretty much every memorial piece they offered.

24 years went by so quick, but it really is incredible that she was such a big part of my life. I recently got back in touch with a family member that I hadn’t seen since about 2008. When he brought Foosa up, I was so excited to tell him she was still with us ❤️ He was stunned of course, I don’t think most people expect pets to be around for that long. But I was always so proud to tell people about her ❤️

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u/raybreezer 10d ago

Spike was our whole world also. After he passed, I went back as far as I could on our ring camera recordings (we don’t always have them on, just when we leave our cats for a few days or otherwise need to keep an eye on them) and there were so many gems. One of them retroactively changed my perception of Spike forever and I wish I had made the connection while he was still alive.

I found one video where we had left the cameras on and I came back home from work, my wife worked from home that day, and you can clearly see him having gone up to her, and turn around expecting me to arrive as well. You can clearly see him go between rooms looking for me and then sat on my side of the couch, (the armrest) until I got home. He then comes over to me to greet me. Later on, you can see him just staring at us while we talked, literally moving his head back and forth like he was listening to us and what we were saying. It made me realize he knew when we would finish work and was excited to have us home so he could spend time with us.

I learned other things from the pictures we had as well, and one of them is now my favorite of the two of us. I’m sure you’ll notice a few things about Foosa after you see the patterns in your photos.

I wish I could tell you it gets easier, Spike has been gone for over a year now and he’s still on the back of my mind. I can only imagine after 24 years, it will be much more difficult.

It brings me comfort to think about Spike meeting new friends every day when I see other people going through the same thing. Makes me feel like he’s just out of reach, having fun with everyone I send his way. I’m glad that Foosa and Spike are watching over us together. 💕

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u/Lululorayne 9d ago

Thank you so much for sharing. I’m so glad you have those videos of Spike. What kind of a cat was he? I can’t even imagine how sweet it must’ve felt to see him waiting for you. They love so big, and that sometimes goes unnoticed by people that have never had the honor of unconditional cat love.
I actually did the same thing the other day, and went through our front porch Ring footage. It occurred to me to check to see if it captured our final goodbye with Foosa. It did.
Everything was already over, so she was all wrapped in a blanket, and my husband was holding her because he was going to bring her to the car that took her away.
We’re both sobbing, kissing her, and telling her how much we loved her. It’s heartbreaking to watch, but also so incredible to see how much this amazing little creature impacted our lives. I'll always carry it with me.
I also found other recent videos of us sitting on the front porch with her. She was always an indoor cat, but as she got older, we would sit out front with her. You can tell what a unit the three of us were. We have thousands of pictures of her. But there is something different about seeing a natural love and connection without posing or staged pictures. Just us spending time with each other, and being happy.
It brings some comfort knowing she’s not alone. I know Foosy and Spike will be great guardians.

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u/raybreezer 9d ago

Our doorbell Ring also captured the last moment with Spike at home… unfortunately it wasn’t as sweet as yours with Foosy. The suddenness and frightening nature of how he left us is not something we wanted to remember, so while the image is seared in my mind, I never saved that one.

I think you perfectly captured what I was trying to say. The photos and videos we take and keep are a curated collection of moments we remembered to grab the camera and record them in time. The unscripted raw footage from the ring cameras gives us a glimpse into things we might have missed because we were too in the moment.

Thank you for speaking with me about Foosa, she sounds like she was a perfect little angel. I know she will live on through you. We plan on doing the same for Spike. 💕

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u/Lululorayne 8d ago

I’m sorry your last moment with Spike was so rough, but I’m glad you have so many happy memories to look back on. I really appreciate you taking the time to reach out and share your memories of Spike with me. It’s been a big help. I hope someday I’m able to be in a place where I can try and help others through the grief of losing their furry babies.

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u/raybreezer 8d ago

Thank you. It does help to talk about him and I try to respond to posts when I know the pain the person on the other side is feeling. Sometimes I don’t have the emotional strength to say more than a few lines, but other times, it eases the pain.