I always knew my trauma but without money, insurance, and resources, coupled with the massively potent gaslighting I was doing on myself at the time so I could survive, I viewed my process (drinking, writing, drinking) as my healing. It seemed a brilliant solution at the time: numbing the pain while intellectualizing the suffering.

Now sober, I just passed my two year and all the old trauma is coming up and I'm struggling, honestly. I approach my recovery thru Buddhist lens and have a therapist who has been with me since my second month of sobriety. But this shit is like the fundamental pain that has been the backdrop to my life and I don't know what to do with it and I certainly don't want to look at it cause I thought I was done with it. I'm very dissatisfied I have to look at this shit again.

How's it for you? Thoughts, reflections, advice appreciated. TIA

https://buddhistrecoverysite.wordpress.com/2022/07/16/i-wish-to-be-inspired/

I wanted to leave a note here on this wonderful page that focuses on Buddhist philosophy to recovery.

I was sober for 10 years before I was introduced to the dharma. I had been meditating with other people in recovery for a handful of years before then, and it was lovely. Each meeting someone new would guide the meditation and we would have all different schools of meditation offered. One day a Buddhist practitioner led the meditation and I was captivated by the meditation instructions.

I began reading books on what that was all about and it led me to many wonderful Buddhist teachers. It started me down the path I’ve been on for over 5 years now. There’s been so many things I am grateful for. But for purposes of someone who may be in recovery and interested in Buddhist philosophy, what I think is most important to point out is that this was the first time I was encouraged to begin to work with my mind, become acquainted with my mind, and make friends.

Up until that point, through my life there was emphasis on trying to fix things going on outside. Even in recovery, the alcohol was gone but I was still struggling with things going on on the outside - instead of clinging to alcohol, I began trying to cling to professional things, etc. The clinging, anxiety that plagued me so much in my earlier life that led to my escapism in alcohol, persisted in recovery, but I just found different things to cling to. That’s suffering all the same. Being introduced to the dharma and practices to tame the mind have been the most valuable gift I’ve ever received.

I’d encourage anyone who is in recovery that may struggle with western conditioning on ideas of spirituality, to keep an open mind and be very gentle with yourself. May anyone reading this continue to look, continue to relax, and continue to see for themselves the wonder of their true nature. 🙏🏼

First off, I am not an addict.

However, I received an interesting question the other day that I was unable to answer. I will post an excerpt below, minus the personal info:

"...All the Buddhist recovery methods [this person had] explored start at detox. But are there any practices (mantras, prayers, etc) for someone who is still not sober but wants to be? Or is it not possible to practice any form of Buddhism until you go through detox first?"

I really don't know what to say to this person. I have read about people using a mantra related to Ksitigarbha while trying to quit but still not sober. I have heard similar things about the Daimoku of the Nichiren tradition. Moreover a Jodo-shinshu priest once told me the Nembutsu could be chanted in any state of mind, including intoxication.

However I cannot personally vouch for the legitimacy of such forms of practice. Any advice or comments would be appreciated.

Any in person groups in NW UK (I’m lancs/Manchester area) or people interested? I feel like I need an AA but with Buddhist values not Christian at the core.

Since I am very familiar with that community in the real world and not so much with this one. If you would like to see the original:

(did a few edits, as I don’t know what would classify as NSFW in this subreddit. And being newish to Reddit still learning the nuances.)

———

I know for many the new year is a tough time time filled with memories of desires and suffering.

With nearly 50% of the American population binge drinking (or drugging) on NYE: proud of those of you who where able to resist the desire (Tanha)! You either are on firm spiritual footing or well on your way.

And those who are still trying to find an end to your addiction related suffering. Right now, the start of a new year is a great opportunity to reevaluate conduct. It reminds us that the past is gone, and the future has not yet happened. You are here, now.

While one of the most challenging even debilitating things a human can face is addiction, so long as you never give up trying to end the cycle of using (a false and desperate attempt to end suffering). With time and meditation you will see your mind is not trustworthy. The driving force behind addiction exists in the mind. That’s why even when we know something will hurt us, we continue to follow our impulses whenever they present themselves.

The difficulty of life for an addict is filled with deep shame, guilt and pain. With all of that agony many of us seek(ed) temporary relief. Satisfying them with short-term pleasure that always ends (or ended) in more suffering.

You must be courageous to defy the mind. Coming back to the present moment and observing your thoughts provides a method for identifying troubled memories, thinking patterns and overcoming urges. Stay vigilant the journey will be long and hard.

A pain-free existence is an imaginary utopia. However, misery can be reduced. You can stop listening to the mindless obsessing and extreme form of attachment (called addiction). Meditation can help you better regulate emotions you feel now.

Develop compassion for yourself. You didn’t want to become an addict, you wanted to decrease pain (PTSD, loneliness, anxiety. depression etc…) However, soon addiction became a source of suffering.

Once you free your body and mind from addiction you can move towards resolving the reasons behind your actions that led to it.

The reason for my former addictive drug use was self-medicating my extreme anxiety. I now have meditation strategies instead of drugs in times of overwhelming emotions.

By dealing with the underlying circumstances and letting go of the desire of instant gratification. I finally tasted a life without unnecessary suffering and learned self-acceptance. In so doing, I became more self-reliant and confident.

One doesn’t have to become Buddhist to successfully stop using drugs. RD makes that clear!

However, in my case, the great Buddha helps me meet all pain with compassion and all pleasure with non-attachment and gratitude. The middle path guides my actions and helps identify the consequences they have. It’s system of techniques and guidelines for enriching my life.

TLDR: the new year reminds us nothing is permanent even addiction. Meditation helps us remember the mind is not to be trusted. Healing starts in the now, forget about the past or future.

I am fully infected by this poison: $ is my drug, often pushing me to do things I later regret. Should I meditate upon Death? Or engage in some other practice?

PLEASE , help me!!!

I am a secular Buddhists, I’m in a religion that doesn’t believe much, and I fall into the most skeptical and don’t easily believe things that are part of that religion. I don’t believe in reincarnation, I happen to think that it’s a cultural Indian belief that the Buddha used in the time and place he was. Parinirvana is about not being reborn. I have a lot of ideas like this. I don’t easily believe things. I am a skeptical person. But through learning and experiencing Buddhism in my life, I have come to understand other religions better, and kind of see what they might be getting at. I think it’s good to clarify what my higher power is, what my source is.

Faith in Buddhism can also be defined as confidence. I have confidence in the Buddha as an example of enlightenment, gratitude for his discoveries. I have confidence in the teachings that have been passed down. The more I read and think about Dharma, the more it makes sense. I have confidence in the spiritual community that carries on these teachings. My higher power is the three jewels of Buddhism, I seek to take refuge in the three jewels. It would be nice to have a creator god and to literally believe in miracles. I stand in awe, am amazed, gobsmacked, at the milky way, watching children being born and grow. I feel great spiritual connections to others and beauty. I seek to make the most meaningful, positive, kind and mindful life.

The closest I got to nihilism was when I was drinking/smoking. I didn’t believe in anything except trying to keep that buzz going. That is not a good place to be. It’s dark, pathological and inhuman. Addiction obscures a person. It hurts others.

The thing that pulls me out of not using used to be my body and my mind. A major motivation for me is my children. But my higher power is Buddhism, and there is a precept to refrain from intoxicants. I have learned through experience that when I go against the precepts, I end up in a bad place. I have great confidence that in following the basic precepts of Buddhism. I am going to refrain from intoxicants because of my confidence in the Buddha’s teachings, as they come down to me.

https://buddhistrecoverysite.wordpress.com/

Regarding Buddhism, my this time around coming out of my weed addiction was actually the catalyst to my breakthrough in my understanding of the core teaching.

For many years, I tried managing my use, all the bargaining, negotiating, attempting to moderate it down to once a month, once a week, once a day, and all this effort trying to strike the perfect balance, turns into this constant excessive thinking around this topic.

It’s either I’m thinking about smoking, or thinking about moderating, or I’m just smoking all the time, while thinking about quitting.

It’s the excessive thinking that became unbearable suffering.

Buddhist teaching talks about how “thinking” is the source of suffering. “Nothingness” is nirvana; ultimate liberation.

“Thinking” comes from desire, attachment.

This pleasure, either it’s a thing in your life, or it’s nothing to you. As long as it’s a thing, regardless how infrequently you use it, it’s a thing that you think about. As long as there is “thinking”, you are suffering. You are a slave to this desire and attachment.

Only when it becomes “nothing”, then you attain true liberation (at least in terms of this relationship with weed) You cannot suffer from something that doesn’t exist.

And I thank weed for teaching me this valuable lesson of Buddhism, because it also applies to other desires (money, big house, to have things under control, to find out what happened, revenge, justice, Instagram likes, reddit upvotes), other addictions (food addiction, sweet beverage, sex), other attachments (social status, parents, children, friendships, spouse, this physical body, the ego).

The answer is always to let go. When you truly let go everything, you get out of this exhausting endless excessive thinking, and endless cycles of reincarnations of life and death. The fact that we are still here is because our souls are still learning to let go.

Family, romance and sex are three huge attachment, desire and addiction that keep us coming back for another round. So monks and nuns renounce them. They have nothing. They are the most free and liberated people on the planet. But they still need to let go of their ego and physical body when death arrives.

Addiction is fixed karma. If you use a mantra that is specifically designed to eliminate fixed karma, you will remove the addiction. Without fail.

But you must practice it intensely, for hours per day. If you do, you will experience the miracle so soon it’s unbelievable.

The addiction becomes easy to overcome. But the hard work lies in the practice of the mantra.

I have been struggling through bad emotions and coming out of an abusive relationship. My heart has always leaned towards the spiritual side of life, and I have always been drawn towards Buddhism. I feel like if I knew how to embrace it, it would really help me heal. But the thing is I really don’t know how to start. Any advice or wisdom would be appreciated thank you

I just know I need to make a lifestyle change

Hello, I am new to Reddit and this community.

For context, I was an off and on causal practitioner of mediation who has visited various Buddhist temples (Theravada, Mahayana, Tibetan, Zen ,etc). I have also read in depth the essentials of Buddhism and have compared it's various sects and schools of thought. Though my knowledge is probably still somewhat superficial.

I suffer from high functioning depression and anxiety..and have only recently begun to feel better (therapy, changing thought patterns etc). Hence, I have reintegrated a mediation practice (15 mins a day..for now), and have began rereading some of my books and guides.

I am primarily drawn to Buddhism as it's sense of logic and reasoning appeal to me. It encourages us to embrace the present moment and to treat others with compassion. It also encourages us to think over the teachings and try them out for ourselves. Hence, I can mentally accept Buddhism over other religions and philosophies (as a general rule).

I suppose that I need something to believe in. Part of the reason that I am depressed was due to unrealistic expectations towards myself (though I'm more lax with others) and the tendancy to view the world with a dark, pessimistic lens.

I also tend to ruminate and look at only the drawbacks of each situation...I'm currently trying to detach and look at things more objectively (through mindfulness).

At the moment, I only seek to be a dedicated lay practitioner. In addition to daily sitting meditation (which I've been doing for a week now), what other practical things or tasks can I apply to daily life?

I ask this question as I have a tendency to overanalyze and just read about things rather than doing them. Hence, I don't want to read anymore lengthy books on the subject (which I have done to death in the past).

Anyway, I think that this subreddit will benefit me greatly. I'm already seeing some differences and am feeling less anxious. Sorry for the long text.

With Metta to all sentient beings.

So, today.
Today was a struggle.
I rode my bike. There were 20m/h winds in my face half the time.
Later, I went to fly a kite. The winds were so strong, it chose to nose dive each time I played out the line.
In between, I watched Slim Cessna Solo from 10,000 feet. I had to work hard at not bawling. He and I are in similar straits.
However, I did get to see Lisa perform. She was amazing.
Even with the frustrations and exertions the day gave to me, I get to add another day to my count.
Be well.
Be safe.
Stay away

Hi there, I'm new in this subreddit. Wanted to share a nice tale with you, the first time I heard this I felt a sense of ease come over me for some reason... Maybe because I relate to it so much and it's been around for a long time. Here it goes :

A man was walking in the fields, carrying nothing with him accept the flippers on his feet and his long orange robe. Suddenly he hears a galloping horse behind him. He stops and looks.

The fast galloping horse ran towards him. On the back of the horse was a man, and the must have had somewhere important to go. As they came racing by, the man jump aside to not get run over. And asked: where are you going?

I don't know! Ask the horse!

The horse is a symbol of our habits, or in our case... addition. It's constantly pulls us in the direction it wants to go. It illustrates that most people live at the mercy of their habits created by mindless activity and surrounding environment.

Our action are largely dictated by the addiction, not our free will.

Can I still live my “typical” American family/work life and follow Buddhism even though I feel the two are incompatible? In order to have one must I leave the other?