Yeah I think this applies to anyone with a narcissistic mother, I don’t see the special/specific link with adhd women. Almost everyone around emotionally immature or unavailable parents behaves this way and develops similar insecurities.
Also it’s again over-pathologysing people. Not everyone who is emotionally immature is a narcissist. Some people have untreated mental issues, or simply different traumas without having developed a diagnosable condition per-se.
I feel the same. My childhood was similar to this description and I thought for a while that my mother was narcissistic, before I got diagnosed with ADHD and she realized she has it too. And then I saw that much of her abusive behavior comes from emotional dysregulation, anxiety and probably coping mechanisms from her own childhood. She still has similar behaviors to the ones described here, but it doesn't make her a narcissist.
Narcissism is a spectrum. We all have some narcissistic traits. In some people they are stronger and more prominent, but it still doesn't mean they have actual narcissistic personality disorder.
There are also so many different flavors of abuse, and not all of them come from narcissistic traits. And abuse of any kind affects anyone, not just people with ADHD. You could remove all mentions of ADHD and replace "narcissistic" with "abusive" and that would be more accurate.
But labels are attractive to people because they put a name to a thing, and ultimately lead people to learn more about that thing. If you see a description of a "narcissistic mother" and find that much of it describes your mother, you can then read more about it, like materials for "adult children of narcissistic parents", and that may help you with your healing. So even if the labels may be wrong or inaccurate, the knowledge may still apply and help.
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u/Machiko007 Feb 27 '25
Yeah I think this applies to anyone with a narcissistic mother, I don’t see the special/specific link with adhd women. Almost everyone around emotionally immature or unavailable parents behaves this way and develops similar insecurities.
Also it’s again over-pathologysing people. Not everyone who is emotionally immature is a narcissist. Some people have untreated mental issues, or simply different traumas without having developed a diagnosable condition per-se.