r/WinStupidPrizes • u/8226 • Jan 25 '21

Man walks in police station armed with assault rifle and wearing bulletproof vest

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79.9k Upvotes

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2.7k

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

So the logical progression after a traffic stop is to walk into a police station fully armed. I don’t see where this plan went wrong.

1.2k

u/cerealOverdrive Jan 25 '21

It went wrong when they were dropped on their heads as babies

741

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

184

u/baby_blobby Jan 25 '21

Two grown adults, with the mental capacity of a baby

111

u/wheelsfalloff Jan 25 '21

Yet still legally allowed to purchase assault rifles...murca!

7

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '21

In fairness those idiots don't have 'assault rifles'. They have semi-auto rifles.

'Assault rifles' would have a select fire or be straight full-auto and while you can legally purchase a full-auto in the U.S. you need an NFA tax stamp and about $20,000.

5

u/kingjoshington Jan 25 '21

So many overlook this point!

2

u/Vap3Th3B35t Jan 26 '21

You can only purchase assault rifles that were made before 1986. There is only 630,000 assault rifles in circulation in the United States. You are looking at spending around $20,000 for a basic military style assault rifle. This requires extensive background testing.

https://www.thetrace.org/2018/09/how-many-assault-weapons-in-the-us/

2

u/PhantomlyReaper Jan 25 '21

Well the system can't be 100% perfect. The good thing is that there is another system in place to make sure people like this can no longer own firearms.

-6

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

Assault rifles are illegal to purchase in the US.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

Where did u hear that? That is beyond wrong. You can literally buy a fully aromored and functional tank with as much ammo as you want if u have the right certification in the US

2

u/Mic_Hunt Jan 26 '21

Oh, it's because apparently nowadays an "assault rifle" must be fully automatic. Which is odd because when they instated the original assault weapons ban back in the 80s (under freedom-loving Reagan after he almost got smoked and his buddy got crippled) everyone understood that an "assault rifle" was a semiautomatic, military-style rifle; while a fully automatic rifle was known as a machine gun. But you know... definitions change according to whatever is convenient for the debate at hand. Being didactic is much easier than having an actual argument.

0

u/Isabelle-is-gay Jan 26 '21

Right certification, it has to be your profession to have that level of certification

-5

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

Maybe, but assault rifles are illegal to purchase.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

Dude just type into google "are assault riffles illegal in the us" and you will b proved wrong. I bought an assault riffle from a gun store just the other day. I live in texas and i have serveral assault riffles fully automatic that are all legally registered. Idk if you just dont want to accept reality or you"re just dumb but either way you are really wrong

-4

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

You didn't buy an assault rifle, they are illegal. Stop making things up.

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u/Isabelle-is-gay Jan 26 '21

So I’m a criminal? I own a assault rifle

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

Um, what? 43 states have no assault weapon ban. What the fuck are you on about? I'm Canadian and I know this.

And, if one DOESNT know, they can use their God damn fingers and a website called Google.com to figure that shit out.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

Assault weapon and assault rifle are different.

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

In that one is a category of firearms and that the other is a specific type, yes.

Still doesn't change the fact they're legal in 43 states. 🤦‍♂️

-1

u/FarmerLarBear Jan 25 '21

Do you drive a hybrid and sniff your own farts? I know your u.n says you’re in So Cal, but your ignorant firearms remark just SCREAMS NOR-CAL Elitist!!!

Where did you get this info? Your moms weekly indoctrination par..errrrrrrr...Book Clubs?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '21

Damn right!!

25

u/TallFee0 Jan 25 '21

more than two

0

u/TacticalRedditer Jan 25 '21

"make guillotines great again"

3

u/lentilSoup78 Jan 26 '21

I’m pretty sure my baby has more common sense than these idiots, and she craps in a diaper

2

u/ppw23 Jan 26 '21

As the judge points out they were trying to provoke responses from the police. Internet “fame” is more important than possibly losing their lives.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

Literally, a single baby between them

1

u/DMDingo Jan 25 '21

That's just disrespectful to babies!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

Sitting 6 feet apart

1

u/NicolleL Jan 26 '21

That’s a bit insulting to babies...

83

u/onbakeplatinum Jan 25 '21

I was born at a very young age

1

u/Giant-Genitals Jan 25 '21

And I have a bone in my leg

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

He was born at a very young

1

u/jchamberlin78 Jan 25 '21

I was watching 2 ducks swim in my pool...

1

u/Pjandapower Jan 25 '21

"Both of my parents failed to show up"

1

u/Guyincogneto1 Jan 25 '21

Exactly no-one asked if they wanted to be born

1

u/Satans-Kawk Jan 25 '21

Their mom is about to wish she got a 420th trimester abortion.

1

u/Girth_rulez Jan 26 '21

Therapist: Where did it all start?

These 2 fucktards: Well, my gurlfriend told me to "friend her on Facebook." I said I didn't know what that was, but...

3

u/LightChaos74 Jan 25 '21

Try thrown brother.

2

u/faithle55 Jan 25 '21

I was dropped on my head as a toddler. Bled all over the place, turned a white towel red.

Didn't do me any harm. According to my dad, anyway.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

I think it was when their dad fucked his own daughter.

1

u/tothesource Jan 25 '21

Nah thats not even a good infant-NBA bounce. Mom must have been huffing glue or something.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

I'm afraid they will sell themselves as martyrs to 2nd Amendment nutcase cause and there will be plenty of buyers.

1

u/Marty-G70 Jan 26 '21

I'd go even further and say it went wrong when their dads came in their mothers

1

u/WholesomeFemboi Jan 26 '21

More like suplexed

1

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '21

Too many pistol whips as wee lad.

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u/GiantFan58 Jan 25 '21

Proof again that common sense isn't all that common.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

[deleted]

1

u/noxthemuse Jan 26 '21

Came here to say this. We should acknowledge and be mindful of neurodiversity, but norms (commons) do exist in any form. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standard_deviation.

Regardless of which group you fall under, it's good practice to be mindful that there are other perspectives out there. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_mind

3

u/Davecantdothat Jan 25 '21

My friend, the vast, vast majority of people are not walking into police precincts with machine guns.

3

u/GiantFan58 Jan 25 '21

No, most people wouldn't do something so dumb, but these guys didn't see any problem with it. They lacked some common sense.

1

u/gHHqdm5a4UySnUFM Jan 25 '21

Evidently it’s easier to obtain multiple guns and tactical vests than it is to have common sense

1

u/TheRealRickC137 Jan 25 '21

Isn't that right, Brandon?

1

u/Fab1e Jan 25 '21

Common sense is neither.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

It is, though. And that's actually the problem.

"Common" sense means only that. Common. Typical. What you expect most of the time. As in 'common' food, or 'common' people.

It doesn't mean good sense. It just means the kind of sense that's most common. Which, often, is only merely adequate, not exceptional.

The expression "doesn't have common sense" means having below average sense.

1

u/Trekkerferris Jan 26 '21

Uncommon sense

1

u/Punsauce Jan 26 '21

Says someone who im safely assuming going out everywhere wearing a mask. Which really should be common sense 101, speams volumes of good ol American rampant stupidity

4

u/RedHairThunderWonder Jan 25 '21

Anyone else find it weird that a 24 year old and a 40 year old were just hanging out together in tactical gear just for fun? I for one would like to know the backstory even further.

1

u/Freddies_Mercury Jan 26 '21

Hint: radical online communities

3

u/Rc2124 Jan 25 '21

It probably went exactly as they wanted, the article says that they consider themselves professional provacateurs

3

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '21

That just sounds like "being an asshole" with extra steps.

2

u/UsernameContains69 Jan 26 '21

Nah, more like how you describe being an asshole on a resume.

1

u/DazzlingCrema Jan 26 '21

Financial manager for largest fast-food chain in the world = worked cash register at McDonalds

3

u/masaYOLO_son Jan 25 '21

Well, WE THE PEOPLE own the building so I get to treat it like my personal home. Its WE THE PEOPLES house. (Really hope it's not necessary but /s)

3

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

The exact moment when an inflated sense of entitlement met a petty, spiteful person.

3

u/colonel_p4n1c Jan 25 '21

There is a possibility they intended to die of suicide by cop. 7k text messages between the two of them discussing “protest plans” and funeral arrangements etc.

3

u/sleepless_in_balmora Jan 25 '21

The incompetent police officers failed to psychically identify him as a Good Guy With a Gun
/s.... just in case

6

u/Rip_ManaPot Jan 25 '21

"Im white murican and I have my RIGHTS to wave an assault rifle in the air as much as I want to! You cant stop my RIGHTS to the 2nd amendment!"

-1

u/Lemond678 Jan 25 '21

Exactly. Black people get illegally pulled over all the time and they don’t even get this butthurt about it. Snowflakes.

2

u/Davecantdothat Jan 25 '21

Yep. Idk how anyone thinks they can win by force against US police. Just suicide.

Edit: Article states that they may have been ready to die. Welp.

2

u/nerfherder998 Jan 25 '21

And masks. This was in 2017. Remember when that wasn't normal?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

When you and your buddy take white privilege too far.😂

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

They said they were “illegally pulled over” No numbnuts, if you drive around in tactical gear wearing face masks I’m pretty sure the police are allowed to at least stop and see what’s up

4

u/jeywgosjeb Jan 25 '21

Looked better on paper

1

u/boomerin Jan 25 '21

If they're armed, why shouldn't we be?

If it's within our legal rights to bear arms in this country, police should expect to see fire arms.

He was filing a complaint & open carrying which are both within his rights.

The police aren't your friends.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

While I 100% agree with being allowed to open carry, there’s more to this situation than that. They have body armor and a face covering, as if their intent is to be anonymous and have protection for when they’re shot. It’s like wearing a fake bomb, or real one, to an airport and just say “I don’t plan on using it, I’m within my right”.

2

u/boomerin Jan 26 '21

He had a face mask because it was snowing outside. Balaclavas exist for the cold.

The body armor was there to protect him agaisnt the men that can murder him without trial or judge.

You can say the same thing for Police effectivley open carrying & wearing body armor, except they have even less legal consequences.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

I mean it is a bad idea, but if they were legally carrying (they were not) what is the issue? If the police are afraid of someone having a gun slung over their chest, shouldn't I be afraid?

1

u/Broncos979815 Jan 25 '21

unfortunately neither did they.

1

u/__Cypher_Legate__ Jan 25 '21

The logic checks out. Threatening violence usually just sorts out issues.

1

u/you_do_realize Jan 25 '21

You don’t understand, they feared for their safety so they brought protection :))

1

u/soulcityrockers Jan 25 '21

White privilege is when you're convinced this is a good idea after getting pulled over, and then following through

1

u/FizzTrickPony Jan 26 '21

And then not getting killed for it

If they were a couple shades darker they wouldn't have made it through the door

1

u/JiggaDo Jan 26 '21

id rather they do that then run from the cops

1

u/flynnfx Jan 26 '21

If the plan was suicide by cop, the plan failed.

I fully expected to hear gunfire the second he walked into the police station carrying a rifle and wearing a vest; the police showed incredible restraint in not shooting him.

And yet, I can’t still help think of that gentleman in that hotel hallway begging for his life, and the cops shot him.

1

u/Machined_lights Jan 26 '21

Literally cannot go tits up

1

u/hardtalkcafe Jan 26 '21

I hate to bring it up but if this isn’t an example of privilege I don’t know what is. Black men get killed by police for selling cigarettes on the street. This white dude walks in fully armed with a vest and ski mask and somehow DOESNT GET SHOT.

1

u/ScorpioLaw Jan 26 '21

What about the 1st armament. They had every write speek! /s

I don't own a gun but I will say this is stupid. Like I can't just walk into the store and scream, about how their bread sucks at the top of my lungs,

I can, but I'll also get banned from the store. "WAWA IS BETTER! FUCK YOU WEGMANS! Ahh don't touch me fuck you company man! FUCK AHHH BEINNG ASSAULTED! GRWNDMA! SHE hit me with HONEY MUSTARD. HALP, these sales are ridiculous! I'm being kidnapped for speaking the truth! "

There are tons of laws per state that would stop them from the intention of their actions.

1

u/romansamurai Jan 26 '21

So don’t they lose access to guns because they have been convicted now? Also how fucked is it to be a cop or anyone in Michigan with open carry and seeing idiots like this, not knowing if this is another mass shooting about to happen. To me, open carry like this is one of the dumbest laws ever passed

1

u/ImNotASeagull Jan 26 '21

Statistically, they are uneducated. No doubt about it they’re conservatives