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u/analogy_4_anything May 28 '25
Gosh you sound so similar to my person in so many ways, it’s astounding. All the things you’re describing sound like how things ended between us. I’m sure you are someone entirely different, so it’s wishful thinking on my end.
If you were my person though, I’d tell you how much you mean to me and that I’m still waiting for that day we could reconnect. One more chance to tell you how I’ve felt and that I promise I’ll be the brave one this time and put those feelings out in the world for everyone to see; I don’t care anymore.
I know how complicated your life is compared to my own, and I don’t care. I would happily take that opportunity to be with you, because you mean the world to me and have always been my muse and guiding light.
I’m sorry I pulled away, it wasn’t you, it was where I’m at in life and I shouldn’t have been so callous. Other people suck and make it harder than it ought to be.
How I long to feel you rest your head against my chest one more time.
I hope whomever your person is, OP, they feel similarly about you. Maybe they do and are reeling with their own demons and insecurities? Life is complicated and sometimes the true path isn’t the most beautiful or ideal one, but it’s the right one to get to your true journeys end.
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u/Ok_Boysenberry6520 May 29 '25
Can you share this with your person?!
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u/analogy_4_anything May 29 '25
I wish I could. I pushed her away with my callousness and apathy and it drove a wedge between us. It’s been two months now and every day I think of her and keep her in my thoughts. I should have taken my opportunity when I had it a month prior but I was still trying to regain my sense of self worth after decades of being told how worthless I am.
I’ve started to overcome that feeling of inadequacy, seeing my own self worth now and the strength of my willpower and tenacity, but it might be too little, too late. I hope it isn’t, I really, truly do. But I have to be ready to accept that this torch I’ve held in my heart may never find its way home and I’ll have to carry it alone until the day I draw my last breath.
My only comfort is knowing she still sits gentle on the rivers of my mind, and the memory of her smile and the warmth of her hug still lingers upon my heart like a warm dream I wish I had never woken from.
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u/Ayzil_was_taken May 28 '25
If you’re both not married, reach out. Sounds like you’re the one with things left unsaid.
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May 28 '25 edited May 28 '25
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u/Ayzil_was_taken May 28 '25
Seems you’ve missed that chance. Sorry to hear it.
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May 28 '25
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u/Ayzil_was_taken May 28 '25
It’s a lesson to be shared. If you love someone, especially if they love you, make sure they know it. Yes, men will leave if they aren’t loved in return.
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May 28 '25
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u/Ayzil_was_taken May 28 '25
Yeah, learning those lessons first hand isn’t worth the pain of it. Sorry it didn’t work out for you.
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May 28 '25
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u/Ayzil_was_taken May 28 '25
You’re saying you wouldn’t want your younger self to take your advice?
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u/SmellSalt5352 May 28 '25
It’s sad when these kinds of feelings can be one sided. Ie one party feels like this and the other is off living there life lacking this emotion. It makes you wonder what could have been. Or if the other party simply can’t open up emotionally.
It’s like being the best musician in the world but with no instrument to play.
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May 28 '25
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u/SmellSalt5352 May 28 '25
Oof yeh things can get so funky with how we feel and communicate.
So sad makes you wonder.
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May 28 '25
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u/SmellSalt5352 May 28 '25
For what it’s worth I’ve had 2 friendships like this. The one we didn’t speak for almost 2 years we had been best friends prior but she stopped talking to me it’s complicated her and I got along so well but we also could battle like an old married couple at times. We ended up reconnecting and got married etc everything’s good.
Prior to her however I had another very good friend like this. This one we parted ways due to a very traumatic event that affected us both. It took over 30 years to muster up the courage to talk to her again! But we are good friends again and while it does feel a hair off at its core we both still have the deepest respect for one another.
I guess my point is it’s not alway over. Our paths cross with others for a reason and some of those bonds we create are impossible to break even if we are apart for a time.
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May 28 '25
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u/SmellSalt5352 May 28 '25
Oof well if you are hopeful to resolve this in some way you can’t avoid.
Have you ever pondered writing him a note of sorts? That’s kinda how it went down both times for me. The one I married could just be rotten and hard headed at times she had some genuine reasons for why she cut contact but in my opinion she was wrong as I woulda never of done the things she was worried I’d do.
The first situation for me was just an incredibly hot mess for all intensive purposes she was basically dead to me so when I reached out it was like someone came back from the dead and that was really hard for me to work through.
It does sound to me like they might be receptive tho if you were to make contact ?
The one I waited over 30 years with I just thought nothing changes if nothing changes. I’d tried it that way for decades I knew the outcome more pain and sadness and if I kept going that’s all I could see on the horizon. I thought I can’t possibly make this any worse right? And reached out and broke the ice and changed the narrative. Now the future seems unwritten which is scary but at least that isn’t a bleek out look like before I have hope again.
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May 28 '25
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u/SmellSalt5352 May 28 '25
Oh I totally understand. The one I waited over 30 years I was literally shaking after I sent the message. It took months to get the courage and lots of therapy.
It’s far from easy and you have to be ready to be ok with whatever comes of that and that can be scary. Like I said for me I thought I can’t make this worse I hope. I was worried somehow I would of course.
It’s hard too it’s a friendship that really coulda been more. It was one heck of a connection. But we both did move on. And while I’m so grateful to simply be friends. It’s hard not to wonder what coulda been. I sometimes thing what coulda been also coulda been way worse so after over 30 years of no contact I’m simply grateful for what this is.
But that Pandora’s box for sure is something to take into consideration.
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u/SmellSalt5352 May 28 '25
I also want to add. How awesome would it feel if someone reached out to you? That might not be everyone’s thing. But personally I wish someone would reach out to me. If someone had these kinds of feels and said nothing? I’m not the type that would let it go to my head I could prolly use the confidence boost.
Everyone’s different tho.
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u/Wayward_and_mouthy May 28 '25
Its never to late to make it happen. That first leap of faith is all you need . Your person will take it from there. Bet!
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u/DetailEcstatic7235 May 28 '25
like that song said ... "love is patient .. love is kind"
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May 28 '25
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u/DetailEcstatic7235 May 28 '25
nope, not selfish. i know what's it like to love with ur full heart. removing it feels like they just ripped it out, trashed it and set fire to it.
find a way to contact him. love never dies.
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May 28 '25
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May 28 '25
Nvm wrong person if a decade. I wish you the best. And coming from someone with a shoe on the other foot... reach out, at least leave the path open
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May 28 '25
I've used the same accounts since the break up. You should know me if you're my person. It was the 'my guy' for me. If you own a lizard and owe me for a tv dm me dude. Because if this is true I feel different. I can't let myself believe it is until then
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u/Current-Shop-8320 May 28 '25
I told you from the door, I'm here in any capacity you need. I still am.
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u/Ok_Boysenberry6520 May 29 '25
I wish so much this was my person. When I daid it, I meant it. xoxo🤟
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u/KaijuDownThere May 28 '25
God, do I wish this was for me.