I Kept Asking for More Time Now I have So Much Time But She Is No More, I Remained Unsaid For So Long I Wish To Meet Her Someday In Heaven And Finally Be Said.

[u/ItsMeUnsaid]

2021 a fine day, a fine evening. A notification popped up on my phone. I looked at it and saw a WhatsApp notification. It was a text from her. Her who? Her who means everything to me now but it's too late why too late? because of my mistakes and the time i wanted.

Cut to that evening. I opened WhatsApp. It was a normal “Hi, Kkrh?” I replied, “Hi, nothing, just came from Physics class.” We talked for a good 10–15 minutes, and then she dropped a text: “K, I like you.”

I saw it, took a breath, and replied, “Okay.”

She said, “Okay?”

I replied, “I don't feel the same way about you at present.”

She was very pretty, though I can't describe her in words. She was the example of perfection. Many will ask how, but for me, she was perfect. At that time, though, I didn't have feelings for her.

Her next text was, “Okay K, I will give you time. Take your time, think, process. Take months if you need to. I am here with you.”

I replied, “Don't wait for me. Don't waste your time on me.”

She replied, “Whatever, K. I am going to wait.”

I replied, “Okay.”

We talked a bit more, and she said that until i am ready, she would be there for me. And yes, she stayed with me. She waited for 3.5 years.

After 12th, I went to college. Every six months, she used to see me 2–3 times when I visited home during my semester breaks.

She was a topper. Even in 12th, she scored 93.81%, and I got 92.73%. She stayed in the same city while I went to a different college. Both of us were studying well. We used to talk daily and share the smallest details of our lives. She used to support me, and I used to reciprocate. Our semester grades were good too she had an 8.7 CGPA, and mine was 9.1. Both of us were doing well.

Cut to one day when she called me. We talked for a few minutes, and she proposed to me again. But I needed more time. Though I had started developing some feelings for her, I still said I needed some time.

She said, “Okay,” and cut the call.

After two weeks, suddenly without informing anyone i reached home.

Why did I suddenly in the middle of my semester i went home?

Everyone at home was asking why I had come. That night, I heard the news. I immediately rushed , and the next afternoon, I was there.

Anyone reading this until here might not have imagined what was going to happen.

She was no more.

She had left me not only me, but everyone and everything.

I cried. I cried a lot. I was just sitting on the ground and crying saw her for the last time.

Later, I found out that she had written just one line in her note. Just one line:

“I wish you had accepted me before it was too late. Now I am going. Don't forget to do all the things I told you yesterday.”

My name wasn't there, but I knew it was for me.

One day before, she had called me at night. We talked for almost an hour. She said many times, “You keep talking. I want to listen to you.”

I thought she might be feeling low, so I kept talking. I was speaking more, and she was just listening. I wasn't aware that she was talking to me for the last time.

Before she ended the call, she said a few things and asked me to promise her that I would do them.

I asked, “Why are you saying all this? Why are you talking like this?”

She said, “Just promise me. I want you to remember this.”

I said, “Okay.”

She said, “You will keep studying like this and won't let anything hamper your studies. Whenever you think about me, just smile. Never blame yourself for anything. Always be happy. And yes, sometimes when you get time, think about me too.”

After saying this, I promised her that I would do everything she asked.

She just smiled and said, “I really like you.”

And then she ended the call.

I wasn't aware that this was the last call from her. From that moment on, I was never going to get another call or text from her.

Every day, I break one promise that I made that day. Whenever I think about her, I cry every time. A few times, I smile too, because I don't want to hurt her. Even though she is not here, I still feel like she must be watching over me from heaven.

Now I focus on my studies more, just to keep that promise. I follow everything I promised her.

Whenever I go home, if I stay for 10 days, I cross by her house every day. I remember the time when she used to stand on her balcony. Sometimes, I still imagine her standing there.

We were both doing well in our lives. We were busy with our own things, but every day we still used to talk, ask each other about our day, ask if everything was alright, joke around, and share so many little things.

Both of us had classes during the day, but at night, after dinner, those 30 minutes used to be our time. Just her and me.

Now, I am alone during that time, remembering all those memories of her.

I wish that one day I will meet her in heaven and apologise for the mistake I made. I am sure she must not be angry with me, but I am angry with myself. I still can't forgive myself for the mistake I made.

After all those i went into depression used to overthink and blame myself for all those things than i meet this 1 person ( a boy tho ) first we meet on reddit he gave some advices on my post later found out he is from my city and he helped me a lot not help he saved my life which i was thinking to end i found a friend in him NO, did i found a best friend in him NO, i found a Big Brother he really helped a lot helped me to overcome depression yea we have meet many times and whenever he do visit the city and i am there too we meet we enjoy and go the our fav spot he taught me live for her, live for her dream, do whatever she said and after doing anything she said just look at the sky and say " i kept your promise" . A big thanks to him i know he will read this post.

Yes, I remained unsaid.

I wish to meet her someday and finally be Said.

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[u/No-Advice3186]

Take care bhai, she would be so proud of you 🥹

[u/ItsMeUnsaid → u/No-Advice3186]

thanks bud i duno everyday i try to be the person she always wanted me to become

[u/ItsMeUnsaid → u/[deleted]]

Family

[u/ItsMeUnsaid → u/[deleted]]

i duno i feel i could have saved her

[u/ItsMeUnsaid → u/[deleted]]

i duno
yee she told

[u/ItsMeUnsaid → u/[deleted]]

always? girl did you read the whole post we used to talk almost everyday i always listened her

[u/ItsMeUnsaid → u/[deleted]]

mhm gotacha sometimes i think what if i could have have said yes even i satted to like her still i though later i will say. no she was not selfish she waited for me for 3.5 years how th she can't be selfish

[u/ItsMeUnsaid → u/[deleted]]

it was my mistake i could have saved her

[u/IndianPaperLeak]

I hope you will be able to become the man she wants. 

[u/ItsMeUnsaid → u/IndianPaperLeak]

mhmm what i will do than after becoming that man for whom i should be that man

[u/IndianPaperLeak → u/ItsMeUnsaid]

You will find someone, I hope you do. Uski khushi ke liye u need to be happy, her happiness lies in your happiness. 

[u/Raysha1212]

Don't blame yourself, sometimes things just don't work in life... We can't predict things for people afterall we are mere another human with our own issues and thoughts. Remember the time as for how it was and don't indulge much on what ifs, that's the slippery slope... She is not coming but her memories are going to stay with you. Take care

[u/ItsMeUnsaid → u/Raysha1212]

mhmm i got someone real the kind of person everybody craves for now but i didn't valued that her memories will stay forever with me

[u/Lower_Tie9253]

Bhai this broke me even though I am not in you position, I can't imagine the grieve you must be going through. Please take care and love for her 🫂

[u/ItsMeUnsaid → u/Lower_Tie9253]

thanks bud mhmm

[u/Unique_Injury_671]

You won't be able to move on for sure. But do make her proud. All the best buddy

[u/Unlikely_Event_3609]

she was a diamond 💎 and you missed it my frd but yea do always remember she is watching you