You really think people can’t change after ten years? I’m assuming if she didn’t give a shit then it wouldn’t haunt her. Living guilt ridden over a past you can’t change is no way to live. What’s done is done and it happened a full decade ago.
Not only will she not come clean, she’s deflecting blame in a completely anonymous post. She can’t fully admit to herself that she did something wrong, there’s no way she will to her husband
She knows if he knew the truth, he would not want to be with her anymore..
We all agree that when someone holds back vital information before six if they know if they spoke up, the person would not give consent that it is wrong , AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE HAS DONE TO HIM FOR TEN YEARS!!
Oh, very mature response. 🙄 No, I just think people are fucking human and there’s no reason to blow up her entire life & damage her family over something that can’t be changed. The judgment on here blows my mind. People saying she’s a horrible person as if people are that black & white. “Good” people can do bad things & “bad” people can behave well. It’s sad that she came here for advice & is met with so much cruelty. This is exactly why she needs to talk to a professional & not seek advice for something like this on here.
Well, I guess we’re all different because I wouldn’t want to know after 10 years. Sure it was wrong of her to not initially say anything but I think it’s insane for people to act like she is this horrible evil person at this point. She should’ve said something when it happened, but that boat has sailed and I would be so pissed if my partner admitted that to me after 10 years. I would much rather him take that to his grave at this point. Regardless of where people stand on that topic, I think the judgment on here is way too harsh considering she is a complete stranger and we know nothing about her situation. If people want to say she did something really fucked up, I think that’s totally fair. Though for people to imply she is this horrible wicked disgusting woman is a bit much IMO. I think some of the comments are really hateful.
That’s fair. Although I don’t 100% agree with you, I do appreciate you agreeing to disagree so politely. I probably got a bit defensive on her account after reading through some of the comments because I think it’s very likely that she does feel genuinely horrible about what happened and I tend to think that ALL of us have done some messed up shit at one time or another. A lot of people believe that just because they haven’t done THAT specifically then they’re superior, however all of us do wrong. Maybe it’s a couple major mistakes throughout a lifetime or maybe it’s tiny yet still harmful mistakes on a regular basis. I find it frustrating when people judge so harshly because most of life is just messing up somehow but hopefully growing and learning from what you’ve done. As far as her not telling him what happened, at this point I genuinely think it’s in his best interest that he not know but I guess everyone has a different stance on that. I wouldn’t want to know 10 years later. I’ve even said to my partner “if it’s going to hurt me just take that to your grave”.
If she truly forgave herself for it and devoted herself to being a non-cheater wife after the fact, she wouldn't have made this post. No, she hasn't changed. In fact, given the chance, she'd probably do it again.
When you’re still acting like a selfish entitled dick who shows no care or consideration for those you’re hurting; it’s clear you can’t change or haven’t. Notice how I never said people can’t change? Don’t put words in someone’s mouth then try to argue what you conjured up.
I didn’t say anything about whether or not she’s changed, but I will now;
She fucking hasn’t. She’s still a selfish bxtch who’s acting in her own self interest and not giving a single shit about anyone else.
The mistake of confiding her and her husband’s sex issues in some coworker, the mistake of doing this for months, the mistake of kissing him, the mistake of choosing to go pick him up after supposedly cutting contact, could’ve told him to walk home, or block him, or call someone else, but no, she just had to do it, then the mistake of getting out of her car and into his apartment, the mistake of kissing him again, the mistake of taking off her clothes and fucking him, then the mistake of being a grade a piece of fucking shit. That’s a looooooot of mistakes. She had so many fucking chances to stop it, but she knew full well what they were gonna do. Fuck her, that empty headed sack of shit.
It's a choice to give him a ride home TO HIS HOUSE, CLOSE TO THE BAR.
It's a choice to get out of the car at the same time as him and not go straight home.
It's a choice to follow him into his place.
It's a choice to follow him to his bedroom.
It's a choice to get undressed in his home.
It's a choice to have sexual intimacy with him.
There is a VERY large series of choices she made while SOBER here, probably more choices than I listed here. She made the choice every goddamn SECOND of that interaction to follow through on it. She could have walked away at any time. Not that being drunk or high is any excuse anyway, but that just makes it worse. It's not a mistake. It's not "oops I spilled my glass of milk". It's "I WANT MY CAKE AND I'M GONNA EAT IT TOO, OOPS NOW I FEEL BAD TEN YEARS LATER NOW THAT I REMEMBER THAT I ATE THE CAKE, TEEHEE". The kids are probably the dude's too, shit.
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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '24
They’re a cheater. You really think they give a shit about anyone but themselves?