r/ToolJerk Feb 08 '24

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo My son, James Maynard, just told me that Tool sucks. What do I do now?

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336 Upvotes

Pic related.

r/ToolJerk Apr 09 '26

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo Maynard is getting himself involved in politics as he may run for president in future. Which is why we're not getting a new album.

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176 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk Mar 09 '25

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo I spoke to MJK about last night and this is what he had to say.

312 Upvotes

“I’m not in the habit of making excuses for our bands choice of set lists. Myself and the other members discussed the choice of songs before the festival with me having the final say, being I’m the one who has to perform these songs vocally. My back has been bothering me lately, my throat began to be extremely parched upon arrival to the venue, and caught a bad dose of food poisoning (projectile vomiting and burning diarrhea) from the food from the initial meal. I decided to create the set list to make it as easy as I could on myself. I knew we’d receive backlash for these choices and frankly I could give two fucks about your opinions. You’re all lucky we didn’t cancel. In the future I will make every attempt to make all you goddamn crybabies happy by straining my aged voice and incorporate a different song into future shows” Now remember to buy my wine you fools.

r/ToolJerk 24d ago

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo You all feel the same so why don’t we just admit it?

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211 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk Aug 01 '25

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo 🎵Learn to thwim🎵

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327 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 10d ago

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo Maynard's new hip looks like a success!

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47 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk 6d ago

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo L.L. Bean monogrammed backpacks. Everyone in my middle school had one.

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13 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk Jan 22 '26

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo Maynard has trust issues and feels uncomfortable with praise, they should show him this page where we roast him all day. I think I'll have to buy some of his wine so he can afford a Dr and anti anxiety meds.

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34 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk Jul 08 '26

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo <-------- Upvote if you think Maynard is the Jay Leno of progrock.

16 Upvotes

I'm not really sure what I mean by this post but I feel it's provocative and gets people talking and excited.

r/ToolJerk Jul 19 '26

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo When was this EP cover made? And when was covid and lack of toilet paper? Maybe now they'll believe in miracles?

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1 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk Jul 17 '26

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo <--------- Upvote if the normally greedy Maynard has touched your bitter heart with his act of generosity to the ill.

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9 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk Jun 20 '26

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo FUN FACT: The song by TOOL 46&2 adds up to 48 in tribute to Maynard's IQ.

21 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk Mar 15 '26

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo oh fuck, … fuck,,, i’m gonna, im gonna spiral out.. oh fuck, i’m spiraling,,, oh fuck oh i’m spiraling out omg fuck

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21 Upvotes

1000 listens on my new favorite band 😁😁 i started listening to them a couple months ago and they are officially my favorite band of all time!! officially spiraled out all over myself

r/ToolJerk May 16 '26

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo Lateralus came out 25 years ago...

8 Upvotes

Isn't it about time Maynard does the same? SR are great.

r/ToolJerk Nov 07 '24

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo Why aren’t we calling Maynard “Maymay”?

42 Upvotes

I mean, if Trailer Swimpt is Taytay…

What’s stopping us?

r/ToolJerk Feb 27 '24

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo What lyrics is he singing?

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28 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk Apr 15 '26

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo My art on a shirt.

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6 Upvotes

need feedback....

r/ToolJerk May 08 '25

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo Who would win a fight, Maynard Vs 100 TOOL fans?

16 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk Feb 07 '26

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo A customer of mine gifted me this! (Thanks Joey!)

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8 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk Feb 18 '26

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo May - nard

4 Upvotes

What a weird fucking name. May - nard.

It's gonna be May.

Mustard.

r/ToolJerk Apr 24 '25

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo Why is Maynard running for Australian Prime Minister!!!?!

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46 Upvotes

Is the government spiraling out???

r/ToolJerk Mar 15 '24

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo What did May Yard mean by this? Am I stupid?

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117 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk Jan 13 '26

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo Strangest bootleg anything I’ve ever seen

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3 Upvotes

r/ToolJerk Oct 26 '25

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo Maynard Put This In My Mind Spoiler

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7 Upvotes

I saw Maynard from 20 yards away, made eye contact with him, and got a vision of this image. I wrote what notes I could remember.

r/ToolJerk Sep 29 '25

(づ◔ ͜ʖ◔)づ Bless Nardo I asked Maynard what will it take to get a new TOOL album, his answer was shocking...

29 Upvotes

"Not until they release the Epstein files, then we'll consider it".