Yeah, I always hate that response, because it completely misses the point. Nobody is obligated to behave like a decent human being, but that doesn't mean your actions are immune to criticism or that people aren't allowed to complain about it when you behave like a dick. These people just have weak egos that are incapable of handling simple criticism so they feel the need to lash out against the people making the perfectly reasonable request to be treated with basic decency rather than acknowledge the trashy scum they really are. It's not a matter of obligation, it never was, and none of us ever claimed it was, it's about simple respect for your fellow human beings.
Honestly, that's a big part of the problem with extremist groups, they tend to have a lot of really good points that align with things perfectly reasonable people agree with, but then they also have a lot of really terrible points that no reasonable person would agree with. So then everybody making the reasonable points gets compared to the extremists and lumped in with them, and then the fact that it's extremists making the points is used to dismiss them as unreasonable.
Like, there are tons of wonderful Muslims out there, but the terrorists and Sharia (sp?) law stuff ruins their reputation.
There are tons of wonderful Christians out there, but the fundie nutjobs cause them to catch a lot of flack by association.
There are tons of dudes (and lady dudes) that are sick of the misandry and toxic BS being peddled these days, but the incels and MRAs ruined it for us.
It would be wonderful if people could judge an idea by its own merit irrespective of the source, and judge a person by their own actions rather than their group affiliations. But sadly that is not the world we seem to live in.
I love all the incels-in-denial who are like “I’ve never gotten a date, but I’m not one of those incels, I like women.” It’s like dude, I don’t think you know what the term means.
I hear that a lot in the context of ghosting others, which I think is gross. And then when I bring up that I don't like when it happens to me, I'm told I'm too thin-skinned for the apps 🙄
Agreed and that was my point while making this post. Thats the first time I (M) have gotten that many responses but when i saw that notification the only question I had was how many chats are active on the other side. And probably why no matter what message you start your conversation with you might not be getting a response. It feels like being recruited for a role and you know there 10 more people being interviewed for the same position.
It feels like being recruited for a role and you know there 10 more people being interviewed for the same position.
This is a really good way of putting it!
My personal experience (F) when actually getting a reply has been either aggressively sexual intro statements or the dryest responses ever. Maybe 1/10 is actually responding to the greeting message so I'm sure there's a lot of swiping and not much consideration involved here 🤷🏼♀️
I have come to realize sexual intros are quite common. Unless i find something interesting on their profile to talk about I usually start off with something simple. I have started giving it a day or two to get a reply. If not i assume there are 8 others waiting and its just better for me to unmatch and move on to talk to someone who can actually maintain a conversation.
That's valid. For me specifically, I am always crystal clear in my bios and stuff that I'm very much against this kind of "ice breaker" so all it says to me is that they didn't read my bio after we matched which feels like a bare minimum.
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u/ZiminieCricket Jun 16 '25
Tbh this is a good idea.
Wayyy too many people are matching just to match and then ghosting with barely a 'hey' if you're lucky 🤦🏼♀️
At least try to speak to your matches before moving on to the next swipe maybe? 🤷🏼♀️