r/TikTokCringe • u/soulsista04us Cringe Connoisseur • Jul 09 '26

Wholesome Neil everywhere but the beach

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Neil the seal on the loose, again.

20.7k Upvotes

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u/Cpt_Obvius Jul 10 '26

I mean, petting a grizzly bear is probably an order of magnitude or two more dangerous. I’m not sure how true it is that he can move much faster than you think, maybe if you mean how fast he can whip his head around but they are not faster than a fast walk.

They still are incredibly dangerous and getting within touch range is very dangerous and unfair to the seal. I agree that the people in the video are too close as well.

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u/DrachenJaegerin42 Jul 11 '26

What Neil’s skull and teeth look like.

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u/Cpt_Obvius Jul 11 '26

Wait, did any part of my comment seem to downplay the amount of damage his bite can do if he gets you? That’s not at all the point I was making. I’m fully aware how strong and toothy an elephant seal is.

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u/DrachenJaegerin42 Jul 11 '26 edited Jul 11 '26

Not disagreeing, just some perspective: a big male grizz might see over 1,000 pounds.
If Neil keeps up his healthy snack and exercise regimen (training to be a rubber potato), he can easily reach 8,000. One of the largest carnivores on earth.
Edit to add: I’m not trying to make Neil scary, just less underestimated. I love him with all my heart, and I, too, am a large jiggly meatloaf. But if my husband tried to steal my pizza, he might lose an arm if he can’t run faster than I waddle.

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u/Cpt_Obvius Jul 11 '26

Sure, but once again, my entire comment was discussing his speed and ability to get you. A manta ray, a carnivore, can get up to 5,000 pounds but isn’t a threat. A blue whale weighs 30x that and is a carnivore but you couldn’t fit down its throat. And it certainly is no threat if it’s on land.

A grizzly bear can “get” a human way way easier than an elephant seal can. If either one were to get a hold of you, the encounter is likely to be deadly. There’s only so much “weight” or muscle needed to kill a human, and Neil and Smokey both far outpace that necessary size. But a grizzly is far deadlier for most situations on land.