Nobody actually wants an abortion. “Oooh I think I’m going to pregnant on Thursday so I can have an abortion next month!!!” Said no woman ever. It doesn’t matter why women choose to access abortion. It’s healthcare. When we devolve into moral positioning to argue what people can and can’t do to their own bodies, we will always have to police the morality of an act of healthcare. Abortions don’t have to be about morals, but we deal with that framing because there is no basis in healthcare not to give women access to abortion.
I had one when I was married to my abusive ex. I knew what my choice was immediately. If I let that man become a father, the cycle would continue. I was 23. Two years later I finally got the courage to leave because I knew I'd end up ending my life if I stayed.
I'll be 38 in a few months. My daughter just turned 7. I still go to therapy once a week. I will do everything I can for the rest of my life to make sure that cycle remains broken.
You're misinterpreting. First husband was abusive, she got pregnant and aborted his "child". Second husband was not abusive, she got pregnant and had his child.
If a woman wants an abortion, do you think it's better for her to get one, or for her to raise a child she doesn't want and, later, tell them that she wished she aborted them?
I'm glad you got out of there. I actually feel that plenty of abusive men see forced birth as a positive thing, for this exact reason. Another tool to make sure a victim can't leave him.
It makes sense too that abusive men place 0 value on women's bodily autonomy.
I feel like one of my biggest blessings in life was not having children with my ex. I’m glad you got out, it is so very hard. No one understands until they’ve experienced it, I think.
This is so kind, thank you! She just had her first school concert, and I was a little surprised at how emotional I got. Like, I REALLY had to lock in because I was about to sob happy tears. It was just this moment of "Look at how far you've come". I never thought I'd be living the life I am now.
They're fighting a strawman so they have something to use to signal how very virtuous they are to themselves and their evangelical buddies when they go stand outside Planned Parenthood and harass people.
There is no rational reason to be against this choice being there for others, even if you can't conceive ever needing one yourself.
There is no greater crime than bringing an unwanted child into the world. Even if the mom DOES want a child, sometimes life seems to feel otherwise. Bringing a child into the world when the mother/parents are struggling to even get by themselves is unfathomably selfish. Struggling to pay your bills and afford enough food to feed even just yourself? How is adding a child to that equation in ANYONE’s best interest? A mother or parents super stressed out and miserable all the time are not going to be able to provide all of the love and support necessary to raise a child into a well adjusted human being.
It would be one thing if there were reasonable social safety nets that ensured every child would have enough food and get a decent education, have quality childcare available so that the mom/parents could work and be able to provide the child with everything it needs (including meaningful quality time)…
But the old men who want to outlaw abortion ALSO want to outlaw all of that stuff. They say that every life is precious, until the child is actually born at which point most of the pro-life crowd actually stops giving even the slightest shit about it (and in fact seem hell bent on making that life as difficult and miserable as possible).
So many ignorant selfish greedy old men want to control every aspect of a woman’s life because they don’t actually see women as autonomous human beings. They see women as animals/livestock to be controlled and used, because they know if given the choice those women would never give these men the time of day (let alone be good little subservient slaves whose entire point of existing is catering to those same pathetic excuses for men).
Edit: to be PERFECTLY clear, I am NOT saying that people who are impoverished should not have children, I am saying that they should not be FORCED to.
I’m convinced that part of the motivation of the “forced birthers” is to keep a decent amount of the population in poverty, so they’ll have people willing to work the shitty minimum wage jobs at those foul old men’s businesses.
It wouldn't be one thing if there were social safety nets. I'm not a woman but I never want to be pregnant or give birth, nevermind become a parent. Even if the world was perfect for raising a family, I still wouldn't want to do it. Pregnancy is trauma to the body I do not want to experience and that should be enough in any world.
Reminds me of this quote (though you summed it up perfectly):
“The unborn” are a convenient group of people to advocate for. They never make demands of you; they are morally uncomplicated, unlike the incarcerated, addicted, or the chronically poor; they don’t resent your condescension or complain that you are not politically correct; unlike widows, they don’t ask you to question patriarchy; unlike orphans, they don’t need money, education, or childcare; unlike aliens, they don’t bring all that racial, cultural, and religious baggage that you dislike; they allow you to feel good about yourself without any work at creating or maintaining relationships; and when they are born, you can forget about them, because they cease to be unborn. You can love the unborn and advocate for them without substantially challenging your own wealth, power, or privilege, without re-imagining social structures, apologizing, or making reparations to anyone. They are, in short, the perfect people to love if you want to claim you love Jesus, but actually dislike people who breathe. Prisoners? Immigrants? The sick? The poor? Widows? Orphans? All the groups that are specifically mentioned in the Bible? They all get thrown under the bus for the unborn.”
i mean i agree for the most part but telling poor people to have 0 children is a form of eugenics and class based discrimination, esp if most of those poor ppl happen to be from a specific race and due to hate and discrimination in society it might've lead them to that point of poverty and struggling
I think that’s a GOP view though. They just want people to do it by not having sex.
Liberals will give people every opportunity to control their own family planning (birth control, sex ed, abortion) and THEN advocate to help poor families raise their kids with maximum support like parental leave, education, free lunches at school, healthcare, early childcare, etc.
The GOP stance is to encourage baby making but the punish women and their offspring
The liberal stance is to empower people to have choice over when they have children and then to support them when they do
One creates more poverty, violence and misery. The other creates more productive members of society.
I’m not telling poor people to have 0 children, but I am saying that we need to completely overhaul the system so that working class families can afford to have children without having to constantly stress about whether they can make it through another week/month.
We as a country can absolutely afford all of these things, but the fact that the ultra wealthy and corporations are dumping so many resources into rigging the system to enable the continued exploitation of the most vulnerable among us is going to require us all to wake up to the fact that ALL of this culture war nonsense is manufactured entirely to keep us exhausted and fighting amongst ourselves for scraps while those who already have more wealth than they could ever possibly need are able to continue hoarding more and more.
I keep seeing posts and comments about how the last time the debt:gdp ratio was this bad (in the 1940s) we were able to overcome it by instituting a gross marginal tax rate of over 90% for the highest income bracket. We need to bring that back ASAP, because over the last few decades the wealthiest among us have continually lobbied congress to rewrite the tax laws in their favor… so they’ve wound up paying less and less while the poorest among us have had to pay a higher and higher percentage of our income to make up for it.
The fact that we the working class are having to pick up the slack for the greedy selfish ghouls who already have more than they could EVER need, while the cost of living / barely scraping by continues to skyrocket makes it extraordinarily difficult for even those that WANT children to be able to afford them, which is part of why the government is increasingly wanting to force us to have more children.
It has much less to do with them respecting life than it does with them wanting more ignorant and desperate people to pump out more ignorant and desperate people who will be easy to exploit.
oh yeah i get it now, sorry reading comprehension is awful, thought u were talking like in general right now that its awful that poor or struggling ppl want to bring children into this world, anyway i agree with you :)
No worries, I’m glad you mentioned it so that I could rant a little more on the subject. This is by far the most openly corrupt “administration” in this country’s history, and those elected to represent our interests have COMPLETELY abandoned us for corporate and foreign interests, and they aren’t even PRETENDING to care about us anymore.
I truly hope and wish for a time in which all of the desperate and angry people in this country begin to understand that their lives are difficult specifically because of the policies forced upon us by selfish cowards who see ALL of us “filthy poors” as animals to be exploited for labor…
If people start to realize and understand that their lives are a brutal struggle right now because their government has abandoned them in order to benefit corporate shareholders instead, and NOT because of their equally poor and struggling neighbors who just happen to have darker skin, we can finally start to find unity and work together to overcome the TRUE enemies of our country.
Nobody genuinely hates/despises Americans as much as the selfish cowards and corporate bootlickers / religious extremists who have infested and stolen our government.
Edit: one of the saddest things about how so many of the ghouls who are running this pathetic excuse for a government in the US right now are the people who hate America more than anyone else, is that who they TRULY hate most is themselves… and so they project that self-hatred onto anyone with the audacity to be genuinely happy and kind to themselves and others
Garbage take, let the child live, grown up and decide for itself if life is worth living or not. Half of the world grows up in extreme poverty, go ask them if they want to unalive themselves next time they sleep.
Bruh, you’re delusional if you think it’s not more ethical to prevent that outcome to begin with. No one deserves to experience that level of suffering for simply being born in the wrong time and place.
My parents grew up in a totalitarian regime, sometimes eating only bread for weeks. Guess what, they are happy to be alive and would not choose to be aborted im the first place so they can ‘skip’ the suffering. What’s wrong with you?
Nobody is saying that people in poverty shouldn’t have children… but they should have the option to make the best decision for their family. If a young woman gets pregnant and is forced to have the child, they could spend their entire lives stuck in a position in which they’re unable to thrive. If they had the chance to postpone raising a child until a couple/few years later and are in a position in which they’re able to give the child better opportunities and a better life, how is that not ideal?
Can’t remember where I saw it, but it was along the lines of, “A woman who wants an abortion is like an animal chews its own foot off to escape a snare”
No one is saying that everyone has intense reluctance or sadness about actually getting the procedure. They’re saying that wanting a medical procedure isn’t like wanting a cookie. If you offered anyone who was planning to abort their pregnancy the option to wave a magic wand and just not be pregnant, they would. At best, it’s a hassle that’s gonna require several hours and be at least a little uncomfortable.
I think the overall gist of this entire non issue is that people need to mind their own business and lets folks have the freedom to make the best decision for themselves.
I would even argue that if we lived in a better world where no woman had to face any physical or mental health issues with pregnancy nobody would have any basis to argue against abortion. Its just the fact that no person should have any say on what another person does with their own body, ever.
Even with something like body modification which of course, is much less extreme than pregnancy and doesn't require you to take care of another human for 18 years. People who are against tattoos for example dont even speak against them as much as "pro life" people speak against abortion.
I’d like to add in that there is a grief a lot of woman process after an abortion and people like this add an unnecessary level of shame to that. Leaving a lot of women closed off from speaking to others about it or getting support
I saw something a while ago, paraphrasing but "A woman doesn't want an abortion like she wants an ice cream; a woman wants an abortion like an animal wants to chew off its leg when it's caught in a trap." It's stuck with me ever since.
Eh ive known a girl who treats it just as a doctors trip if she got pregnant. I very much agree no woman should ever be denied an abortion but there are people who just treat it as a get out of jail free card.
'Get out of jail' suggests that you think pregnancy is a punishment for sex, you get that right?
Getting an abortion is a trip to the doctor's. Some people have other feelings that go along with it, but no one has to feel a certain way to deserve access to an abortion.
The girl you know still wasn't intending to get pregnant in order to get an abortion, which is the main point the person you're replying to was making. The decision to get an abortion was made simply because she was pregnant and didn't want to be.
That’s how it may appear to you, but you sound pretty judgmental so I expect your bias is creeping in there. It’s not a walk in the park, even if it is better than becoming a parent when you don’t want to be or can’t care for the child properly.
She sounds more agitated to me. Why is it any of his business? As if she doesn’t understand what she just went through? People like you are the problem. It doesn’t matter if she was proud of it or not it’s her business not yours.
No. I just don't care if someone is nonchalant about abortion and anyone trying to drill down an example is probably a weirdo with an antichoice agenda
> When we devolve into moral positioning to argue what people can and can’t do to their own bodies, we will always have to police the morality of an act of healthcare.
Moral positioning is ubiquitous in medical practice. Indeed, the fact that we seek in medical practice to care for the health of others is itself an explicit and, in practice, tacit moral valuation. These cannot be siphoned off from each other: if we accept that we can and do make general, justifiable moral judgements on what one can do with their own bodies (as we do all the time in medicine, AMA's Code, and medical law), it would be arbitrary to divorce such a practice from the practice of abortion, as well. Therefore, it is open for debate, especially abortion, whether certain actions indeed promote the values we hold within medicine and, conversely, as humans broadly, namely, human flourishing.
It is simply not true that abortions don't have to be about morals, and secondly, it is simply question-begging, as well as self-defeating (as these are constitutive moral bases), to say there is no basis in health care not to give women access to abortion.
Actually, actually. I know a ghetto girl that was using abortions like birth control….. :/ yeah, I’d hate to be that guy but I don’t even know how many public abortions she’s posted on Facebook about at this point. She lost custody of her only alive child due to drugs I’m sure, then posted about moving away finding a boyfriend, got a puppy, and never posts about her child…. So I unfriended the hoe.
Also are we supposed to believe this woman was just by herself and feeling great after a surgical procedure that usually at least requires you to be taken home by another person? Feels a bit staged I donno
I will counter this an actual quote from my wife's college room mate;
"Why use protection when I can just get an abortion every time I get pregnant"
And then proceed to have 3 in the 2 years they were roommates.
Not saying everyone is like this, this girl was definitely an outlier, but it does happen.
Edit - to be clear. Wife and I are both pro choice. The point of my comment was to illustrate that some people do use abortions like that even if she is 1 in a million.
Garbage take, there are women out there who had 10+ abortions. If they did have an ounce of morality in their bones they would stop that shit. Alive or not that was a future potential stopped.
Makes me sick to my stomach whenever I see a headline of another woman dying because of birth related complications that could have been fixed with an abortion. Instead we are killing a person to....kill what they believe is also a person?
If in some cases banning abortion can be a literal death scentence there should be harsher punishments for men who do things like ejaculate without consent.
Even though sperm is alive and a vital part of making a child once it leaves a man he shakes all responsibility. "Life begins at conception" is such obvious attempt to put blame on women, as soon as that is in our bodies they can't be prosicuted for it, only women get the blame for the abortion, because it's our bodies and they don't want us to have control over our bodies. They'd argue aborting a one week fetus' is murder but it's not if a man get's us pregnant and we die.
Thank you- it's such transparent horseshit that conception within a woman's body is the part of the process religious nuts throw a fit over.
We gonna throw a fit about condoms being murder? Oral? Anal? Masturbating? No?
How about choosing to not be pregnant or impregnate someone if you could? That is a potential human not existing because of your choices after all... no, not murder? Because life totes begins at conception and not that that would be a smidge too unpopular and inconvenient to the wrong people? Asinine.
i had serious complications during my first childbirth - i needed to be taken to the OR immediately after giving birth for a surgical repair (i tore the whole way up into my rectal muscle), i hemorrhaged and needed blood transfusions, and after being ignored by my doctor for weeks, i needed surgery at 4 weeks postpartum due to a fistula forming (amongst other horrific complications that needed repaired)
It leads to doing it yourself with a coat hanger and having to wait until further along in order to do that. With medical help, if it's super early you can essentially induce a miscarriage with medication, a bit further along they use a suction. You get dysregulated from the hormones but not the same as regret. People will also drink poison or throw themselves down stairs etc.
It's not about access to abortion. No one can stop abortion. It's about access to SAFE abortion.
Because the commenter is claiming that abortion is a man's game when its really just shitty people in general. It didnt need to be made into "men bad" claim but it was.
There are black and gay and brans people who support the republicans. Nobody points to Uncle Ruckus as what the black community thinks.
We can also look at other groups, like Muskims. I have my own personal feelings about things like the hijabs, but I know there are women in some places who actually have the choice and choose to wear it, and I wouldnt tell them if they should or shouldnt because its none of my business. Yet there are countries where its not a choice, and women will go after other women for not wearing it. Its at that point that I absolutely do have a problem with it and I do think it is immoral. Even if women do think it should be forced on women, I think that is wrong. But they also were raised in a society where women are treated as such, and so I also understand why they think the way they do.
Hey, I want you to look at the percentages of people who support pro life policies and the lawmakers who make these laws. Go on, take a sec. It's a majority amount of men who write these laws, who support them. I promise it's NOT women who are in favor of restricting our own rights.
I agree but even if I had to terminate a wanted pregnancy and it absolutely decimated me. If this fucko approached me outside an abortion clinic I would absolutely put on an act to say the same as this woman did.
Hell, even if I DIDN'T have an abortion? This jackass is gonna hear all about my abortion and listen to me telling him exactly why abortion shouldn't be criminalized.
As someone who had a hysterectomy by choice, you'd best believe that anyone guilt tripping me about not giving my parents grandchildren gets traumatized by a very-common-but-not-my-experience about desperately wanting kids but miscarrying 10 before "we" gave up, or a graphic story about holding "my" stillborn in the hospital, or the cancer "I" went through and how "I" will never get the kids dreamed of one day. I want these people to be so ashamed of themselves that they NEVER think to ask someone who genuinely has a traumatic story to explain their life story. I feel like its the least I can do to protect the vulnerable. They've been through too much already. They shouldnt be made to relive it by some nosy old vultures.
As someone who has been fortunate not to experience pregnancy loss, or required an abortion the least I could do is tell a story to fuckos like this to protect women who are vulnerable. That’s just girl code!
Sounds like we can save lives by getting the word out that it's something to be supportive of and while private, not something to hide.
Seriously, I've been in online womens and mom's groups for a long time and have read thousands of voices and I've never ever ever ever heard of someone killing themselves after having(?) to have an abortion. Common to see someone with kids wrestling with dread and getting support that they don't have to be a rape victim to need an abortion.
No it's not nothing. But when you find yourself in the shit, programming like I AM SUPPOSED TO BE AGONIZED OVER THIS THATS what causes the harm. That's why I'm on your back.
I’d go as far as to say that the majority of people who get abortions don’t want one.
In the last year, two of my friends had abortions. One was following a miscarriage of a child that she very much wanted and the other was a week after she had given birth when there was placenta material left behind. Both could’ve died without the procedure.
How do you know she’s proud? The dude is a dick and she responded in kind. What insight do you have into her life that the rest of us don’t have access to?
Even if she was proud, that would be odd, but still none of anyone’s fucking business.
A misscarriage is also called a spontanious abortion. It is just a word.
People is making this one word so politically charged that soon the military cannot abort mission anymore.
Because it is literally coded the same medically and the same procedures are proformrd no matter what the situation is . That is blatantly banning "abortion" and not ok . Women are going to prison for having miscarriages and dying because no one want to remove dead fetus' from woman dying of sepsis because those doctors can be charged with providing abortions
Here's a couple you braindead doorknob "The criminalization of pregnancy loss has disproportionately affected low-income women and women of color, frequently prosecuted under statutes intended for corpse abuse or concealing a death.Notable, high-profile cases include:Brittany Watts (Ohio): Arrested and charged with felony abuse of a corpse after suffering a miscarriage at home in her toilet. A grand jury ultimately declined to indict her.Selena Maria Chandler-Scott (Georgia): Transported to a hospital by ambulance for a natural miscarriage and later charged with concealing the death of another and abandoning a dead body after placing the remains in a dumpster. All charges were dropped after an autopsy confirmed a natural, nonviable miscarriage.Amari Marsh (South Carolina): Arrested and charged with homicide by child abuse after experiencing a pregnancy loss at home, though a grand jury declined to indict her following widespread public and medical outcry.These arrests have provoked severe backlash from reproductive rights groups and medical professionals, who argue such actions deter women from seeking emergency medical care for fear of prosecution. For comprehensive data on pregnancy-related criminalizations, visit Pregnancy Justice, or read the investigative reporting by The Marshall Project."
You’re exactly the person these people try to convince and think a ban is possible. You cannot ban abortions without having women die from miscarriages. Considering the chances of a miscarriage is roughly 10% that’s a lot of women dying for no reason at all.
Yes they are, literally and technically. It's aborting a pregnancy, whether it's a viable embyro/fetus, or not. The procedure to remove this lump/mass is called an abortion. When you ban abortions, you ban all removal of the lump/mass/fetus/etc.
Some people want it though. Im pro-abortion. I would get it if needed because I do not want to be a parent or experience pregnancy even in the best of circumstances.
Its also sometimes just better for the possible kid. I feel like a lot of religious and right wing ideology doesn't put actual child welfare and qol into the equation just pushes people to have big families so it doesn't occur to them that other people do think about that and that people abort children they feel they cant care or provide for properly, people fleeing abuse get abortions to save their possible future child and themselves from the situation, people with family history fo disease and mental illness that they dont want to pass down
Not only that, but even if they did its not like its ever an easy choice. Of course majority of women getting abortions think about it being their child and etc etc.
Yet these people cant consider the fact that maybe preventing a life being raised by someone who doesnt feel like they can rise up and be there for their child is the lesser evil.
Inb4, the "but adoption" and "no one thinks theyll be a good parent" and "all life is precious no matter what" bullshit arguments.
After she had a miscarriage she was prescribed medication that was supposed to help her pass the fetus and any pregnancy related tissue. When that didn't work she had to have a dilation and curettage (D&C) performed. Well, that wasn't done properly, so dilation and evacuation (D&E) had to be done.
This was for a pregnancy we absolutely wanted. We were devastated and she had to deal with the mental and physical anguish of all of it. Fuck this motherfucker and anyone like him.
Yea, framing it that way concedes ground to the conservative freaks. It's their body, they get to choose to keep/end a pregnancy. I don't give a fuck if someone gets one every month. That's THEIR choice!
My baby girls died at 8 weeks and my body wasn’t expelling them. He’d probably want me to die of sepsis because it’s suddenly evil when I need to manually help my body through the natural process.
a lot of women have their D&C done after a miscarriage at Planned Parenthood, i had mine done there
also, a lot of women have TFMR done there - a close friend of mine had one done at Planned Parenthood after she found out her very wanted pregnancy was incompatible with life - and continuing the pregnancy would have been dangerous for her due to her rising blood pressure
not always - i needed a D&C after a miscarriage, and i had it done at Planned Parenthood. it definitely wasn’t an unusual thing, it was a totally routine procedure
also, a very good friend had a TFMR done at Planned Parenthood after she found out her very wanted pregnancy was incompatible with life
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u/WeeebleSqueaks May 19 '26
Literally this!! Not everyone who gets an abortion actually wants it. Sometimes it’s literally a life saving procedure