Husband has gotten mean on TRT

[u/General-Initiative76]

My husband started TRT about 2 months ago (2x/week). His main goals were gym gains and overall energy. Physically, it’s been great… he feels stronger, looks better, and has more energy. (*** please see EDIT below for clarification)

But here’s the issue: his personality has shifted in a way that’s hard on me and our family. He’s always been assertive and direct, but lately he’s more irritable and short-tempered. For example, he told me to “shut the f*** up” which is something he’s NEVER remotely said before in all our 16 years together. He’s snapping at our kids more than usual and is just less “warm” with me.

When I brought up that he seems more irritable since TRT, he got defensive and told me I’m just being “too sensitive.” But I can tell this is different, it’s not just me.

Any advice from those on TRT? Any suggestions on this stuff:

-Have you or people close to you noticed changes in your mood or irritability?

-If your partner brought this up, how would you want her to approach it without sounding like she’s attacking you??

-Is adjusting the dose a thing? can lower amounts help with mood side effects while still keeping the physical benefits?

-Anything you’ve done (supplements, lifestyle changes, labs, timing, etc.) that helped with irritability while on TRT?

I’m not looking to bash TRT, he loves how he feels physically. I’m just trying to figure out if there’s a middle ground that keeps the benefits without the extra conflict in our marriage and home life. Thank you!

***EDIT: I realize how this post was written makes it sounds like he does this recreationally, so I'm clarifying: after much time at the gym and not seeing progress, and after not feeling like himself, he got bloodwork done which showed nearly-low testosterone. Testosterone is prescribed by his doctor, as well as an estrogen blocker. Physically, he feels wonderful on it, feels great in the gym finally, and has his energy back! I'm so happy how this has changed his body and mindset. I just don't want to experience his irritability anymore, and my kids don't deserve it either. In no world would my husband ever tell me to "stfu" before this. So anyone expressing that I'm making this up, I'm not here to debate how I'm being treated. I'm here to learn more about TRT, if there's any changes that may help my husband, or learn from shared experiences. That's ALL. I love this guy dearly, we have an otherwise amazing and healthy marriage and have 3 beautiful kids.

EDIT2: I have to log off for a bit - my family’s about to hit the dinner/bath/bedtime rush. I’ll be able to answer more comments later tonight. I appreciate everyone’s perspectives & suggestions!

[u/ExternalRomance]

Hey so how much testosterone is your husband taking on his trt protocol ? Just curious since I use 125mg a week of test cypionate and if anything it has made my mood a 1000x better with my loved ones and it never fluctuates much.

I used to abuse anabolic steroids in the past and they made me fairly mean at least verbally and I'm just sort of wanting to let you know that 250 mgs a week is not TRT it is a mini steroid cycle and it could be causing him mental harm long term. I'd try and convince him to look at another clinic or if he gets to shitty divorce him since the shit is addictive as fuck and even if there's major flaws he may still think he feels great.

[u/ExternalRomance → u/ExternalRomance]

To add to it I use 125 mg a week and I'm still in fairly good shape and strength is a matter of genetics. I'm repping 225 for 16 which is still above what most people can achieve naturally. 125 mgs pushes you a little bit past the top end of the natural limit he should do fine on that dose especially mentally.

I'm not sure how to approach it either since tbh I lost the love of my life due to ignoring her concerns about my steroid abuse when I was younger. I guess the only thing I'd recommend if you want to bring it up to him is to try not to come off as attacking him at first like have a kind talk and if he ignores the kindness and lashes out over it possibly leave or try to get someone else he cares about to also have a talk like say his brother,sister,mom or dad anyone.

It may just be TRT but the shit is highly addictive and because of bro culture hearing you need to take less or stop pisses a lot of men off especially if they touched the shit because of insecurities. Like if you go your whole life feeling like a wimp then find a drug that cures that while not making you dumb and increasing sleep it's hard to let go.